XVI.
After I had devised this sonnet, a wish moved me to say also some words in which I would tell four things further in regard to my state, which it seemed to me had not yet been made manifest by me. The first of which is, that ofttimes I grieved when my memory excited my fancy to imagine what Love did to me; the second is, that ofttimes Love assailed me on a sudden with such force that naught remained alive in me save a thought which spoke of my lady; the third is, that, when this onset of Love thus attacked me, I went, almost quite without color, to look on this lady, believing that the sight of her would be my defence from this attack, forgetting that which befell me in approaching gentleness so great; the fourth is, how this sight not only defended me not, but finally discomfited my little remaining life. And therefore I devised this sonnet: —
The dark condition Love doth on me lay
Many a time occurs unto my thought,
And then comes pity, so that oft I say,
Ah me! to such a pass was man e’er brought?
For on a sudden Love with me doth strive,
So that my life almost abandons me;
One spirit only doth escape alive,
And that remains because it speaks of thee.
Then to mine aid I summon up my strength,
And so, all pale, and empty of defence,
I seek thy sight, thinking to be made whole;
And if to look I lift mine eyes at length,
Within my heart an earthquake doth commence,
Which from my pulses driveth out the soul.
This sonnet is divided into four parts, inasmuch as four things are related in it; and since these are spoken of above, I concern myself only to distinguish the parts by their beginnings: wherefore I say that the second part begins here: “For on a sudden;” the third, here: “Then to mine aid;” the fourth: “And if to look.”