Augustine: Earlier Writings
prefer non-existence to miserable existence. He who says, I prefer this to that, chooses something. Non-existence is not something; it is nothing. There can be no real choice when what you choose is nothing. You say you want to be, though you are miserable, but ought not to do so. What ought you to want? Not to be, you say. If you ought so to want, not-being must be better than being. But not-being cannot be better than being. Therefore you ought not to wish it. The common sense which keeps you from really wishing non-existence is more truthful than the opinion that bids you affirm that you ought to wish it. Every man should seek the right object of choice, for when he obtains it he must necessarily become better. But he cannot become better if he ceases to exist. No one therefore can rightly choose non-existence. We ought not to be influenced by the views of those who have committed suicide because misery pressed sore upon them. Either they fled for refuge to a place which they thought would be better for them—in which case there is nothing contrary to our argument, whether they were right or wrong in their thinking. Or they believed that they would not exist at all; in this case the false choice of those who choose nothing will affect us much less. How shall I follow one who when asked what his choice is answers, "Nothing"? \Vhoever chooses non-existence is immediately convicted of choosing nothing, whether he is willing to admit it or not.
23. I shall tell you my opinion, if I can, about this whole matter. It seems to me that no one, when he commits suicide or attempts somehow to put himself to death, really feels that he will not exist after he is dead, though he may have some kind of opinion to that eflfect. Opinion has to do \\ith truth or error in the mind of the thinker or behever; but feehng draws its force from custom or nature. That we can hold an opinion and yet feel quite differently about a matter is easily known from the fact that often we beheve that something should be done, but find pleasure in doing something else. Sometimes feeling is more truthful than opinion, if the latter is in error, and the former is dictated by nature, for example when a sick man finds both pleasure and advantage in drinking cold water, though he wrongly believes that it will hurt him if he drink it. Sometimes opinion is more truthful than feeling, as when a man believes his physician's word that cold water will harm him (assuming it will be hurtful) and nevertheless finds pleasure in drinking it. Sometimes both are equally truthful, as when that which is advantageous is not only believed to be so, but is also felt to be ON FREE WILL 185 pleasurable. Sometimes both are wrong, as when that which is hurtful is believed to be advantageous and also gives pleasure. Right opinion is wont to correct wrong custom, and wrong opinion to pervert nature even when it is right. Such is the power of reason when it leads and rules. When a man who believes that he will not exist after death is driven by intolerable evils to desire death with all his heart, and snatches at death, his opinion that he will be rid of all being is false, but so far as feeling is concerned he has merely a natural desire for rest. But what is at rest is not nothing. Indeed it has fuller being than what is restless. Restlessness sets the emotions one against the other, so that they destroy one another. But rest has a certain constancy, highly suggestive of what we mean when we say of a thing simply that it exists. The whole object of wanting to die is not non-existence but rest. So while such a man erroneously believes that he will no longer exist, his nature longs to be at rest, that is, to have fuller being. So, just as no one can find pleasure in non-existence, no one ought to be ungrateful to the goodness of his Creator for the fact that he has existence. ix, 24. If it is said: It would not have been difficult or laborious for Almighty God to have seen to it that all his creatures should have observed their proper order so that none of them should have come to misery. If he is omnipotent that would not have been beyond his power; and if he is good he would not have grudged it; this is my answer. The order of creatures proceeds from top to bottom by just grades, so that it is the remark of envy to say: That creatures should not exist, and equally so to say: That one should be different. It is wrong to wish that anything should be like another thing higher in the scale, for it has its being, perfect in its degree, and nothing ought to be added to it. He who says that a thing ought to be different from what it is, either wants to add something to a higher creature already perfect, in which case he lacks moderation and justice; or he wants to destroy the lower creature, and is thereby wicked and grudging. Whoever says that any creature ought not to be is no less wicked and grudging, for he wants an inferior creature not to exist, which he really ought to praise. For example the moon is certainly far inferior to the sun in the brightness of its light, but in its own way it is beautiful, adorns earthly darkness, and is suited to nocturnal uses. For all these things he should admit that it is worthy of all praise in its own order. If he denies that, he is foolish and contentious. Anyone who said that there should be no light would feel that he deserved to be laughed at.