Augustine: Earlier Writings
discussion and pious and careful investigation of the question whether the Catholic Faith be not the religion which a few may know intimately and guard, while it rejoices in the goodwill and favour of all nations ?
19. Such being the case, suppose, as I said before, we are now for the first time inquiring to what religion we are to entrust our souls for purification and restoration. Without any doubt we must first consider the Catholic Church. Christians are more numerous than Jews and idolaters combined. Among Christians there are several heresies, but all want to be regarded as Catholics and call others beyond their own group heretics. But there is one Church, all will admit, numerically larger taking the whole world into consideration, and sounder in the truth than all others, as those affirm who know it. The question of truth does not, however, concern us just now. It is enough for our inquiry that there is one Catholic Church to which different heresies give different names, while they are called by names proper to each one which they dare not deny. Hence those who judge without fear or favour can discern to whom properly belongs the Catholic name to which all lay claim. But lest any think there is need of lengthy or superfluous discourse on this point I simply assert that there is one Church in which even human laws are in a manner Christian. Not that I wish to create any prejudice in my own favour here. Only I judge that here is a most suitable starting-point for our inquiry. There is no need to fear that the true worship of God, having no strength of its own to rely on, may seem to need the support of those whom it ought itself to support. But surely it is an entirely happy situation if the truth can be found where there is complete security to seek and to possess it. Otherwise it must be approached and searched for elsewhere, whatever be the danger. viii, 20. Having established these premises which in my opinion are so just that I ought to win my case with you against any adversary, I shall to the best of my ability relate to you the path I followed when I began to look for the true religion in the spirit in which, as I have shown, it ought to be looked for. When I departed from you across the sea I was already in a state of serious doubt; what was I to hold; what was I to give up? Indeed my hesitation grew greater day by day from the time that I heard the famous Faustus. You remember, his coming to explain all our difficulties was held out to us as a gift from heaven. Well, I recognized that he was no better than the others of the sect, except for a certain eloquence he had. When I got settled
THE USEFULNESS OF BELIEF 307 in Italy I reasoned with myself and deliberated long, not as to whether I should remain in that sect—for I was already sorry that I had fallen into it—but as to how truth was to be found. No one knows better than you do how I sighed for love of truth. Often it seemed to me that truth could not be found, and my thoughts like a great flood tended to carry me over to the opinion of the academics. But often again, as I reflected to the best of my ability how lively was the human mind, how wise, how penetrating, I could not believe that the truth must ever elude its grasp. Possibly the manner of seeking truth might be concealed and would have to be accepted from some divine authority. It remained to inquire what that authority might be, since among so many dissentient voices each one professed to be able to hand it on to me. An inextricable thicket confronted me, most tiresome to be involved in; and here without any rest my mind was agitated by the desire to find the truth. I gave up my customary intercourse with those whom I intended to abandon; and in such perils nothing remained except to pray with tears and lamentations that divine providence might bring me aid. That I did unremittingly. At this point certain disputations of the Bishop of Milan gave me some hope that I might find the answer to many Old Testament difficulties which, because they were badly explained to us, used to ofl Tend us. I made up my mind to continue a catechumen in the Church in which I had been brought up by my parents until either I discovered the truth I was seeking, or was persuaded that nothing was to be got by seeking. If there had been anyone who could have been my teacher he would at that time have found me a most ready and docile pupil. If, therefore, your experience has been of this kind, and you have been similarly anxious about your soul, if now at last you see you have been sufficiently tossed about and wish to bring your toils to an end, follow the way of the Catholic discipline which has been derived from Christ himself and has come down to us through the apostles, and by us will be passed on to posterity. ix, 21. But that is ridiculous, you say, because that is what all the sects profess to hold and to teach. I cannot deny that all the heretics do make this profession. The difference is that they promise to give to those whom they attract a reason even for their most obscure doctrines. This is the chief charge they bring against the Catholic Church, that it bids those who come to it to believe, while they themselves impose no yoke of belief, but glory in opening the fount of knowledge. Well, you say, what