Augustine in His Own Words
on to other incidents greater still? My inner recollection recalls them, and it becomes sweet to me, O Lord, to confess to You by what inner spurs You completely subdued me, and how You leveled me down, "having made low the mountains and hills" of my thoughts, and how You "made straight my crookedness and made smooth my rough ways" (Is 40:4).
(4.8) What cries did I give forth to You, O my God, when I read the Psalms of David, those canticles of the faith, those songs of piety which admit of no pride of spirit! As one uninitiated in Your true love, I spent my vacation in the country with Alypius, a catechumen like myself, and with my mother, who in that close association with us, was womanly in her dress but manly in her faith, mature in her serenity, motherly in her love, Christian in her piety. What cries I used to utter while saying those Psalms, and how I was fired by them with love for You! I burned to recite them, if I could, throughout the whole world against the pride of humankind!48
Augustine's Baptism
In Milan and elsewhere in the early Church, baptism took place but once a year, at the Easter Vigil. Preparation took years, and some candidates delayed years more, content to remain catechumens. Any who finally decided to seek baptism had to make a formal application, "turning in one's name" before Lent; and the local bishop could, if he chose, deny those he judged unworthy. Through Lent's forty days, one then passed through a rigorous complex of rituals and daily instruction. Finally, at the Easter Vigil, one was baptized in rites whose secrecy was carefully guarded. Here is Augustine's account. He preserves the secrecy of the rites themselves, mentioning only those who joined him and his own emotional response. He uses this occasion to offer a tender memorial for his son, Adeodatus, who would die a few years later. From Confessions, Book 9:
(5.13) When the days of the vintage vacation were at an end, I sent an announcement to the citizens of Milan that they should provide another vendor of verbosity for their students, because I had chosen to serve You and also because I could not meet the demands of that calling on account of my difficulty in breathing and the pain in my chest. I also informed Your bishop, the saintly Ambrose, by letter, concerning my former errors and my present resolution so that he might advise me which of Your books would be best for me to read in order that I might be better prepared and in more suitable condition for the reception of so great a grace. He prescribed Isaiah the prophet, because, I be-
48. Conf. 9.4.7–4.8 (CCL 27:136–37); trans. Bourke, FOTC 21:233–35 (modified). On Cassiciacum, see Gerard J. P. O'Daly, Aug-Lex, 1:771–81.