51. Ep. 3.1–4 (CCL 31:6–8); trans. Parsons, FOTC 12: 7–10 (modified).
"In the soul, of course. Therefore, the soul is to be loved more than the body."
"But in what part of the soul is that truth?" "In the mind and in the understanding." "What is opposed to these?" "The senses. Therefore, it is clear that the senses are to be resisted with the whole force of the mind."
"But what if things of the senses give us too much pleasure?" "They must be prevented from giving pleasure." "How?" "By the practice of renouncing them, and aiming at higher things." "What if the soul dies?" "Then truth dies, or truth is not in the understanding, or the understanding is not in the soul, or something in which there is something immortal can die. My Soliloquies set forth and prove conclusively that none of these things can be so. In spite of this I am frightened and I stumble because of my acquaintance with evil. Finally, even if the soul dies (which I admit is completely impossible), I have demonstrated in this retreat that happiness does not consist in sensible pleasures. For these and similar reasons, I perhaps seem to my Nebridius, if not happy, at least happy to some degree. May I seem so to myself! For what do I lose from this, or why should I forfeit his good opinion?"
This was the conversation I held with myself. Then I prayed, according to my custom, and fell asleep.51
Liberal Arts Project
During these same months, Augustine began sketching out a series of books on the liberal arts. This is one of several grand projects prior to Confessions that ended up as intellectual dead ends and were left incomplete. From Reconsiderations, Book 1: (6) During that very same time when I was about to receive baptism in Milan, I also tried to write books on the liberal arts, dialoguing with those who were with me and who were not opposed to studies of this sort. I did so, desiring both to reach up, as if by well-defined steps, from the corporeal to the incorporeal, and also to lead others along. But I was able to complete only the book On Grammar—which I later lost from my library bookcase—and six books On Music, focusing on that element which is called "rhythm." I wrote
51. Ep. 3.1–4 (CCL 31:6–8); trans. Parsons, FOTC 12: 7–10 (modified).