I expected, other three irons in the fire with this, having all got leave
prayer I found that word; Psalm 18:28, "Thou wilt light my candle; the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness;" which I sung the first time I was in a pulpit; and that; Job 22:28, "Thou shalt also decree a thing," &c., given me before I entered on my first trials; and that, Psalm 25:9, [above quoted], very strengthening to my soul, and most useful to me. Lest I should have provoked God to withdraw the light I have, which I began to fear upon my crying still for light, I saw myself called to bless God for what he had given me. And now my confidence in the Lord was raised, and my soul blessed the Lord; I am his; let him do what seemeth him good with me. Catching my heart at the season when it was willing, I went to God again, and poured out my soul? but really had not freedom to harp longer on light as to the main thing, the accepting of Simprin, (but rather to seek God's presence to go with me); for this seemed to me now almost, if not altogether, a tempting of God, who hath already made my way clear. Further, I observed,
1. In the Lord's way of dealing with me, that the Lord has brought about for me what I was most against. A notable instance parallel to this I had at the passing my first trials; in that I was brought to pass them in my own country, which of all other places was least in my eye. This way of providence with me I have so often observed, that I have thought indeed such or such a thing would come to pass, just because I was averse to it. And as to this business, besides my aversion to the whole country, Simprin, by any place of it, I never dreamed of, and was very much against it since it was talked of.
2. The Lord hath hitherto prevented such remorse in this business as I expected, other three irons in the fire with this, having all got leave to cool, viz, 1. Mr. Mair had resolved to endeavour, that I should be invited to their Presbytery of Dunfermline; but there was no word from him. 2. Mr. Murray had told me, he would hasten home to prevent my settling in the Merse; but I had not heard from him. 3. The affair of Dollar was dead as to me, though when I was in that country they were moving in it.