Author's grandson, concerning the Author's appearance before the
17. Letter from the Author to the Rev. Mr. James Hogg, Minister of the Gospel at Carnock
18. Letter from an eminent Dissenting Minister in Essex to the Author's grandson, concerning the Author's appearance before the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland, 1729, in Professor Simson's process
Letter from the Author to the Presbytery of Selkirk
Part of the latter Will of the Author
THE AUTHOR'S ADDRESS TO HIS
CHILDREN
TO JOHN, JANE, ALISON, AND THOMAS BOSTON,—
MY DEAR CHILDREN,
I APPREHEND, that by the time it is designed, under the conduct of all-disposing Providence, this should come into your hands, ye may be desirous to know your father's manner of life, beyond what ye saw with your eyes; and it is very pleasing to me that, as to that point, I am capable, in some measure, to satisfy you, by means of two manuscripts, which I leave unto you, committing them to the Lord my God for preservation, and a blessing on them.
The one is a bound book in quarto, intitled, "Passages of my Life," at writing hereof, consisting of three hundred and sixty-two written pages, beginning from my birth, ending October 19, 1730, and signed.* I was not arrived at twenty years of age when, without a prompter, so far as I know, I began collecting of these passages, for my own soul's benefit; and they being carried on, have often since that time been of use to me. For which cause I recommend the like practice to you; remembering the promise, Psalm 107:43, "Whoso is wise, and will observe those things, even they shall understand the loving-kindness of the Lord."
The other is the following general account of my life, at writing hereof, consisting of two hundred and seventy-nine written pages, beginning from my birth, ending October 24, 1730, and signed. How I was led thereto, much contrary to my inclination, you will find in the manuscripts themselves. But, now that it is done, I am obliged to say, "The foolishness of God is wiser than men;" and I bless the Lord who gave me counsel. It was in obedience to his call that I did it; "Let the Lord do with it what seemeth him good." Ye will not readily have meaner thoughts of that matter than I myself had.
I presume you will judge that it had been more natural to have made one continued history of both; and I, being of the same mind, would indeed have so done, had I thought it worth my pains, in this decline of my age and strength. But not seeing myself called thereto, I am satisfied as to the design of Providence, which hath modelled that matter as said is.*
You will not therein find yourselves descended, by me at least, from any ancient or honourable family in the sight of the world; which is a matter of some significancy, I own, before men, for a few passing years; but you will find yourselves children of the covenant, devoted unto the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, my God, by me having power over you for that effect; whom therefore I charge to ratify the same with your own consent, and personal acceptance of the covenant; and to cleave to this God as your God, all the days of
your lives, as being his only, wholly, and for ever; so shall that be to you a matter of eternal value and significancy, before the Lord, of value to you in this and the other world.
If some things in these manuscripts appear trifling, bear with them. Had I thought it worth time and pains to have written them over a second time, it is likely several things now found in them had been dropped. Meanwhile it may reasonably be allowed that some things now appearing trifling to you, might have been of some weight to me, and may be so to you afterwards; and if never to you, yet some one time or other to yours after you.
I hope you will find some things in them worthy of your imitation; the which I was the more willing to record, that I did not think I ever had the art of education of children; but might thereby do somewhat toward the repairing of the loss you by that means sustained. It is my desire and will that, while the Lord is pleased to preserve them, and that in the power of my offspring, any of them whosoever be allowed free access unto them; yet so that the property thereof be vested from time to time, in such an one of them, if any such there shall be, as shall addict himself to the holy ministry. And in case I be allowed by him in whose hand is my life and breath, and all my ways, to make any continuation of the purpose of these manuscripts, the same is to be reckoned as here included.
I hope you will use no indecent freedoms with them; considering that, for ought you or I know, there is a jus tertii, a right of a third party in the matter, whom also I have a view to, with an awful regard to the sovereign disposal of holy Providence, to which I desire to submit all. Some few things which I saw meet to delete, I have signified and signed on the margin.
And now, my dear children, your lot is fallen in a sinning time, beyond the days of my fathers; and I am mistaken if it issue not in a time proportionally trying, by "the Lord's coming out of his place to punish the inhabitants of the earth for their iniquity." I obtest and
beseech you, as you regard your eternal welfare, "save yourselves from this untoward generation." See the absolute necessity of regeneration, the change of your nature, by union with Jesus Christ the second Adam; as it was corrupted by means of your relation to the first Adam fallen. Labour for the experience of the power of religion in your own souls, that you may have an argument for the reality of it, from your spiritual sense and feeling; and cleave to the Lord, his way of holiness, ("without which ye shall not see the Lord,") his work also, his interests, and people, on all hazards; being assured, that such only will be found wise in the end. If your mother, undoubtedly a daughter of Abraham, shall survive me, let your loss of a father move you to carry the more kindly and affectionately to her, supporting her in her desolate condition. Let the same likewise engage you the more to be peaceful, loving, and helpful, among yourselves.
The Lord bless each one of you, and save you, cause his gracious face shine on you, and give you peace; so as we may have a comfortable meeting in the other world.—Farewell.
T. BOSTON.
From my Study in Ettrick Manse,
October 28, 1730.
MEMOIRS
THAT my life may be more fully known unto my posterity, for their humiliation on the one hand, and thankfulness on the other, upon my account; for their caution also in some things, and their imitation in others; and that they may set their hope in God, and not in the empty creation,—I have thought it meet to give the following general account of the days of my vanity, in the several periods thereof.
PERIOD I
FROM MY BIRTH, TILL I LEFT THE
GRAMMAR SCHOOL
I WAS born of honest parents, of good reputation among their neighbours, in the town of Dunse, on the 17th, and baptized on the 21st, of March, in the year 1676; being the youngest of seven children, four brothers and three sisters, pro-created betwixt John Boston, and Alison Trotter, a woman prudent and virtuous. I was born at a time when my mother was thought to have left bearing; for which cause a certain woman used ordinarily to call me God's send. The youngest of my sisters I saw not; but the rest lived, and had all of them several children; many of whom have now children of their own. Meanwhile my brothers and sisters are all of them gone, several years ago, into the other world, which I have now in view.
Andrew Boston, my grandfather, came from Ayr to Dunse, and possessed the tenement given afterward by my father to my eldest brother, and belonging to his heirs to this day. But before him had come William, his brother, as I suppose; whose name the tenement next on the west side, to that which my father gave me, bears. When I was a boy, I saw a grand-daughter of his from England, by his son Mr. William, a churchman there; a very devout woman in her way, and married to one Mr. Peter Carwain, another churchman; but I suppose childless.
My father was a knowing man, having in his youth, I think, got good of the gospel. Being a nonconformist during the time of Prelacy, he suffered upon that head, to imprisonment and spoiling of his goods. When I was a little boy, I lay in the prison of Dunse with him, to keep him company; the which I have often looked on as an earnest of what may be abiding me; but hitherto I have not had that trial. My mother once paying, to one Alexander Martin sheriffdepute, the sum of £50 as the fine of her imprisoned husband, for his nonconformity, desired of him an abatement; whereupon he, taking up a pint stoup standing on the table, therewith broke in pieces a part of a tobacco pipe lying thereon; bidding the devil beat him as small as that pipe stopple, if there should be ought abated of the sum. And once walking through the street, while my father was with the masons that were building his house, he looked up, and said to him, that he would make him sell that house yet. Nevertheless he and his posterity were not long after rooted out of the place; and that house was not sold, until I, not for need of money, but for my own conveniency otherwise, sold it some years ago. May all my offspring be saved from ever embarking with that party; of whom I say from the heart, "O my soul, come not thou into their secret; mine honour, be not thou united with them."
The schoolmistress having her chamber in my father's house, I was early put to school; and having a capacity for learning, and being of a toward disposition, was kindly treated by her; often expressing her hope of seeing me in the pulpit. Nevertheless, for a considerable time, I wept incessantly from the time they began to put on my clothes till I was up stairs in the school. Thus my natural temper of spirit appeared, being timorous and hard to enter on, but eager in the pursuit when once entered.
By the time I was seven years old, I read the Bible, and had delight in reading it; would have read with my schoolmistress in the winter nights, when the rest of the children were not present; yea, and got the Bible sometimes to the bed with me, and read there. Meanwhile I know nothing induced me to it, but the natural vanity of my mind;
and curiosity, as about some scripture histories. However, I am thankful, that it was at all made my choice early? and that it hath been the study of my ripest years, with which I would fain close my life, if it were his will.
Sometime in the year 1684, or at farthest, 1685, I was put to the grammar school, under Mr. James Bullerwall, schoolmaster in the town, and continued at it till the harvest, 1689, save that one summer I was kept at home, while the rest of may class were going on in the grammar.
When I was very young, going to a neighbour's house, with a halfpenny, or some such reward of divination, in my hand, to a fortune-teller; after entering the outer door, I was suddenly struck in my mind, stood musing a little between the doors, durst not go forward, but came stealing away again. Thus the unseen Counsellor preserved me from that snare.
I remember some things which I was, by hearing or seeing, in persons come to years, witness to, in these days, leaving an impression on me to their disadvantage. Wherefore care should be taken, that nothing should be done or said, sinful or indecent, before children; for their memory may retain the same, till they are capable to form a right judgment of it, to the staining of the character of the party with them afterward.
By means of my education, and natural disposition, I was of a sober and harmless deportment, and preserved from the common vices of children in towns. I was at no time what they call a vicious or a roguish boy; neither was I so addicted to play as to forget my business; though I was a dexterous player at such games as required art and nimbleness; and towards the latter end of this period, having had frequent occasion to see soldiers exercised, I had a peculiar faculty at mustering and exercising my school-fellows accordingly, by the several words and motions of the exercise of the musket; they being formed into a body, under a captain. The which exercise I have
managed, to as much weariness and pain of my breast, as sometimes I have preached.
During the first years of my being at the grammar school, I kept the kirk punctually, where I heard those of the Episcopal way; that being then the national establishment; but I knew nothing of the matter, save to give suit and presence within the walls of the house; living without God in the world, unconcerned about the state of my soul, till the year 1687. Toward the latter end of summer that year, the liberty of conscience being then newly given by King James, my father took me away with him to a Presbyterian meeting in the Newton of Whitsome. There I heard the worthy Mr. Henry Erskine,* minister of Cornhill before the Restoration, mentioned in Calamy's Account of the Ejected Ministers, vol. II. p. 518, and in the continuation of that Account, vol. II. p. 578; ct seq.; by whose means it pleased the Lord to awaken me and bring me under exercise about my soul's state; being then going in the twelfth year of my age. After that I went back to the kirk no more, till the Episcopalians were turned out; and it was the common observation in these days, That whenever one turned serious about his soul's state and case, he left them. The which experience in my own case, founded my aversion to that way, which hath continued with me all along to this day.
But how blameless and harmless soever my life was before the world during my childhood, and while I was a boy, whether before or after I was enlightened, the corruption of my nature began very early to shew and spread forth itself in me, as the genuine offspring of fallen Adam. And this not only in the vanity and ungodliness of the general course of my life before I was enlightened, living without God; but in particular branches thereof, which I remember to this day with shame and confusion before the Lord. And indeed in this period were some such things as I have ever since looked upon as special blots in my escutcheon; the which, with others of a later date, I have been wont, in my secret fasts all along, still to set before mine own eyes, for my humiliation, and lay before the Lord, that he may not remember them against me; though I hope they are pardoned, being
washed away by the blood of Christ my Saviour. I remember my gross and unbecoming thoughts of the glorious, incomprehensible God; keen hatred of my neighbour, upon disobligations received; and divers loathsome sproutings of the sin which all along hath "most easily beset me," as the particular bias of my corrupt nature. Two snares I fell into in that period, which have been in a special manner heavy to me, and have occasioned me many bitter reflections; and, I think, they have been after the Lord had begun to deal with my soul, and enlightened me. The one I was caught in, being enticed by another boy to go to Dunse-law with him on a Lord's day, and, when on the head of the hill, to play pins with him. The other I narrowly escaped, being put into the snare by the indiscretion of one who then had the management of me; all circumstances favouring the temptation, God alone, by his Spirit, working on my conscience, delivered me as a bird out of the snare of the fowler. The particular place I well remember, whither after the escape I went, and wept bitterly, under the defilement I had contracted, in tampering with that temptation. Such is the danger of ill company for young ones, and of indiscreet management of them. However, that they were the genuine fruits of my corrupt nature I do evidently see; in that, however bitter both of these had been to me, I did some years after run, of my own accord, into two snares much of the same kinds, narrowly also escaping one of them, but so as it occasioned to mo great bitterness.
Two of Mr. Erskine's first texts were, John 1:29, "Behold the I Lamb of God," &c.; and Matth. 3:7, "O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee," &c. I distinctly remember, that from this last he ofttimes forewarned of judgments to come on these nations, which I still apprehend will come. By these, I judge, God spake to me; however, I know I was touched quickly after the first hearing, wherein I was like one amazed with some new and strange thing.
My lost state by nature, and my absolute need of Christ, being thus discovered to me, I was set to pray in earnest; but remember nothing of that kind I did before, save what was done at meals, and in my
bed. I also carefully attended for ordinary the preaching of the word at Revelaw, where Mr. Erskine had his meeting-house, near about four miles from Dunse. In the summer time, company could hardly be missed; and with them something to be heard, especially in the returning, that was for edification, to which I listened; but in the winter, sometimes it was my lot to go alone, without so much as the benefit of a horse to carry me through Blackadder water, the wading whereof in sharp frosty weather I very well remember. But such things were then easy, for the benefit of the word, which came with power.
The school-doctor's son having, in his childish folly, put a pipestopple in each of his nostrils, I designing to pull them out, happened so to put them up that he bled. Whereupon his father, in great wrath, upbraided me; and particularly said, Is that what you learned at Revelaw? which cut me to the heart, finding religion to suffer by me.
In these days I had a great glowing of affections in religion, even to zeal for suffering in the cause of it, which I am very sure was not according to knowledge; but I was ready to think, as Zebedee's children said; Matth. 20:22, "We are able." I was raw and inexperienced, had much weakness and ignorance, and much of a legal disposition and way, then, and for a good time after, undiscerned. Howbeit I would fain hope, there was, under a heap of rubbish of that kind, "some good thing toward the God of Israel" wrought in me. Sure I am, I was in good earnest concerned for a saving interest in Jesus Christ; my soul went out after him, and the place of his feet was glorious in mine eyes.
Having read of the sealing of the tribes, Rev. 7, Satan wove a snare for me out of it, viz. That the whole number of the elect, or those who were to be saved, was already made up; and therefore there was no room for me. How that snare was broken, I do not remember; but thereby one may see, what easy work Satan, brooding on ignorance, hath to hatch things which may perplex and keep the party from Christ.
At that time there was another boy at the school, Thomas Trotter of Catchilraw, whose heart the Lord had also touched; and there came to the school a third one, Patrick Gillies, a serious lad, and elder than either of us; but the son of a father and mother, ignorant and carnal to a pitch; which made the grace of God in him the more remarkable. Upon his motion, we three met frequently in a chamber in my father's house, for prayer, reading the scriptures, and spiritual conference; whereby we had some advantage, both in point of knowledge and tenderness. It was remarkable concerning the said Thomas, that being taken to the first Presbyterian meeting that was in the country after the liberty; where I suppose the worthy and famous Mr. James Webster, afterwards a minister in Edinburgh, preached; he, upon his return from it, giving an account in the school concerning his being there, ridiculed the Whigs; the which I, who nevertheless was not there, was very sorry for, on no other account, I reckon, but that my father was one of that sort of people. But going afterwards to the like meetings, he turned a very devont boy.
To bind myself to diligence in seeking the Lord, and to stir me up thereto, I made a vow, to pray so many times a-day; how many times, I cannot be positive; but it was at least thrice. It was the goodness of God to me, that it was made only for a certain definite space of time; but I found it so far from being a help, that it was really a hinderance to my devotion, making me more heartless in, and averse to duty, through the corruption of my nature. I got the time of it driven out accordingly; but I never durst make another of that nature since, nor so bind up myself, where God had left me at liberty. And it hath been of some good use to me, in the course of my after life.
The school-house being within the churchyard, I was providentially made to see there, within an open coffin, in an unripe grave opened, the consuming body just brought to the consistence of thin mortar, and blackish; the which made an impression on me, remaining to this day; whereby I perceive what a loathsome thing my body must at length become before it be reduced to dust; not to be beheld with the eye but with horror.
In the course of years spent at the grammar school, I learned the Latin rudiments, Despauter's grammar, and all the authors, in verse or prose, then usually read in schools; and profited above the rest of my own class, by means of whom my progress was the more slow. And before I left the school, I, generally, saw no Roman author, but what I found myself in some capacity to turn into English; but we were not put to be careful about proper English. Towards the end of that time, I was also taught Vossius's Elements of Rhetoric; and May 15, 1689, began the Greek, learned some parts of the New Testament, to wit, some part of John, of Luke, and of the Acts of the Apostles. And helping the above-mentioned Patrick Gillies, in the Roman authors, in our spare hours, I learned from him, on the other hand, some of the common rules of arithmetic, being but a sorry writer. And this was the education I had at school, which I left in harvest, 1689, being then aged thirteen years, and above five months.
PERIOD II
FROM MY LEAVING THE GRAMMAR
SCHOOL, TO MY LAUREATION
BETWEEN my leaving of the grammar school, and my entering to the college, two years intervened. And here began more remarkably my bearing of the yoke of trial and affliction, the which laid on in my youth, has, in the wise disposal of holy providence, been from that time unto this day continued, as my ordinary lot; one scene of trial opening after another.
Prelacy being abolished by act of parliament, July 22, 1689, and the Presbyterian government settled, June 7, 1690, and the curate of Dunse having died about that time, the Presbyterians took possession of the kirk, by the worthy Mr. Henry Erskine's preaching
in it on Wednesday, being the weekly market day; the soldiers being active in carrying on the project, and protecting against the Jacobite party. The purity of the gospel being new to many, it had much success in these days, comparatively speaking; and in the harvest that year, my mother fell under exercise about her soul's case, and much lamented her misspent time; and there was a remarkable change then made upon her.
My father, as well as myself, inclined that I should proceed in learning; but apprehending the expense unequal to his worldly circumstances, was unwilling to bear the charges of my education at the college; whereupon he tried several means for effectuating the design otherwise, particularly in the year 1690; but prevailed not. Hereby I was discouraged, and had some thoughts of betaking myself to a trade; the which being intimated to him, he slighted, as being resolved not so to give it over; and I entertained them not, but as the circumstances seemed to force them on me.
In the end of that year he took me to Edinburgh, and essayed to put me into the service of Dr. Rule, principal of the college, not without hope of accomplishing it; but one who had promised to recommend me to the Doctor, having forgot his promise, that essay was made in vain; and I returned home, having got that notable disappointment on the back of several others.
Meanwhile the difficulties I had to grapple with, in the way of my purpose, put me to cry to the Lord in prayer on that head, that he himself would find means to bring it about. And I well remember the place where I was wont to address the throne of grace for it, having several times thereafter had occasion to mind it, in giving thanks for that he had heard the prayers there put up for that effect.
About, or before this time, was the melancholy event of Mr. J. B——'s falling into adultery. He was born in Dunse, and so an acquaintance of my father's; and he was minister of the meeting house at Mersington, and not young. This dreadful stumbling-block, laid
especially at such a critical juncture as the Revolution, filled the mouths of the ungodly with reproach against the way of religion, and saddened the hearts of the godly to a pitch. I well know, that I many a heavy heart it made to me, and remember the place where I was wont heavily to lament it before the Lord in secret prayer.
On the 1st day of February 1691, it pleased the Lord to remove my mother by death, not having lain long sick. To the best of my knowledge, she was not above fifty-six years of age, my father and she having lived together, in the state of marriage, from their youth, about thirty years. While she died in one room, my father was lying in another sick, as was supposed unto death; and heavily received the tidings of her departure. Returning from bidding some friends in the country to her burial, I met on the street one whom I asked concerning my father, that told me, in all probability he would never recover. This so pierced me, that getting home, I went to the foot of the garden, and cast myself down on the ground, where, according to the vehemency of my passion, I lay grovelling and bemoaning my heavy stroke in the loss of my parents, looking on myself as an absolute orphan, and all hopes of obtaining my purpose now gone. Thus I lay, I think, till my eldest brother, a judicious man, came and spoke to me, and raised me up. But it pleased the Lord that I was comforted in the recovery of my father some time after. About this time, I suppose, I myself was sick about eight days.
Some time after, my father, in pursuance of what had passed betwixt him and the town-clerk, sent me, at his desire, to write with him. But whatever way they had concerted their business, he drew back, took no trial of me in the matter, and I returned. And that project was blown up.
But being, it would seem, put in hopes by my father of proceeding in learning, towards the middle of June I betook myself to my books again, which I had almost given over; and I applied myself to the reading of Justin at that time, the malt-loft being my closet; but
beginning thus to get up my head, my corruption began to set up its head too; so necessary was it for me to bear the yoke.
Meanwhile I was, that year, frequently employed to write with Mr. Alexander Cockburn, a notary. The favourable design of providence therein, then unknown to me, I now see, since it could not be but of some use to help me to the style of papers; the which, since that time, I have had considerable use for. And thus kind providence early laid in for it.
But here I was led into a snare by Satan and my own corruption. Mr. Cockburn being in debt to me on the foresaid account, I saw Dickson on Matthew lying neglected in his chamber; and finding I could not get the money due to me out of his hand, I presumed to take away the book without his knowledge, thinking I might very well do it on the foresaid account. I kept it for a time; but conscience being better informed, I saw my sin in that matter, and could no more peaceably enjoy it, though he never paid me; so I restored it secretly, none knowing how it was taken away, nor how returned; and hereby the scandal was prevented. This, I think, contributed to impress me with a special care of exact justice, and the necessity of restitution in the case of things unjustly taken away, being like a burnt child dreading fire.
My father being fully resolved to put me to the college on his own charges, I began on the 15th of October, to expound the Greek New Testament: which, I think, I completed betwixt that and December 1; at which time he took me to Edinburgh, where being tried in the Greek New Testament by Mr. Herbert Kennedy, regent, I was entered into his semi class, my father having given him four dollars, as was done yearly thereafter, paying also all other dues.
Thus the Lord, in my setting out in the world, dealt with me, obliging me to have recourse to himself for this thing, to do it for me. He brought it through many difficulties, tried me with various disappointments, at length carried it to the utmost point of