desired a minister to moderate in a call there, but were repulsed,
their appointment foresaid, I preached there the Sabbath before the synod, October 17. There had been before that an inclination in that parish to me to be their minister; the which was first moved to me by Abbay himself, and afterward by an elder with much affection. After being appointed to preach there, they shewed themselves very cordial for my settlement among them, very affectionate to me, and unwilling that I should go out of the country.
Having come to Kelso as aforesaid, the drawing up of my licence in due form was shifted and put off. It was represented, that a lady had engaged to write to Lord Ross in my favour; I was urged to fall from my intended departure; and Mr. Colden, whom I particularly regarded, told me, he thought providence lay cross to it. So I behoved to return home again without my licence, unexpected, to my friends.
Being thus locked in at home for that season, I preached several times at Abbay during the winter, lodging ordinarily in Blackerstone; where, at family prayer, December 14, I fainted away, not having got the prayer formally closed, as they afterwards told me. There was an appearance of my settling there; the people were knit to me; and that was the only parish, I think, that ever I was fond of. But I smarted for the loose I foolishly had given to my heart upon it. I proposed to myself to be very happy in such a small charge, being told that they would be but about four score people; but then there appeared to be an occasion of diffusive usefulness in that hill country, the other three kirks thereof being still possessed by curates. The stipend was about 700 merks, the place retired among the hills, the manse pleasantly situate on Whitwater, and within three or four miles of Dunse. But the Presbytery was still against settling me there.
1698. On January 16, 1698, the elders, who twice before that had desired a minister to moderate in a call there, but were repulsed, applied to them again for the same end, and were repulsed as formerly; notwithstanding that the same day there was read before them a leter from Lord Ross, bearing, that since I had not come to him, he had another in view for Foulden.
About the latter end of that month, Abbay being in Dunse, told me, that sometime he had a mind for that parish himself, but now he had changed his resolution, and would join with the elders, in order to my settlement there. And about the 8th of February, the elders appearing again before the Presbytery, renewed their address for a minister to moderate in a call there; and Abbay himself joining them accordingly, as an heritor, the Presbytery could no longer refuse it; but, in the meantime, they took a long day for it, purposely it would seem, and appointed the 10th of March for that effect. As we came out of the Presbytery, Abbay told me, according to his manner, he would preach my ordination sermon.
Now the poor parish thought themselves secure; and things seeming to go according to my heart's wish, I was much comforted in the thoughts thereof. But, behold, in a few days Abbay changed his mind, and all endeavours were used to turn about the call for him; which with the heritors was easily obtained, none of them residing within the parish. The point on which it seemed to turn was, that now or never was the occasion of consulting his interest; which missed, the Presbytery would by some means get him turned out of Aiton. This, I was informed, some ministers did put in the head of his friends, by whose persuasion he changed his mind and courseagain in that matter.
Observing the matter to be going thus, I fell under great discouragement, by means of the disappointment, having foolishly judged that place the fittest for me. Then it was my exercise, and a hard one, to get my heart brought to a submission to providence in that point; the which submission I desired, if my heart deceived me not, more than the removal of the stroke. Being sore broken by the disappointment, I took hold of an occasion to preach, for my own ease, a sermon on 1 Sam. 3:18, on a week-day at Dunse. After sermon, one of the hearers came to me, and thankfully acknowledged God's goodness in bringing her to that sermon, so suited to her case. She was a godly woman of Polwarth parish, who shortly before had lost her husband. This sermon was not without advantage to myself
in the point I was aiming to reach. Howbeit, that discouragement and the spring season trysting together, there was a notable breach made in my health, which continued for a long time after, the which I dated from the beginning of that month of March. When I had near studied that sermon, I was in hazard of fainting away; but being taken care of, and laid to bed, I recovered.
March 6—Preaching in Dunse, such an indisposition of body and faintness was on me, that I thought either to have swooned in the pulpit, or to have been obliged to go out abruptly; but, by good providence, there was opposite to the pulpit an aisle wanting some of the roof, by which came a refreshing gale that supported me, and the Lord carried me through, giving me a taste of his goodness, of which I was preaching. The same day eight days, after preaching in the same place, the indisposition recurred; and as I was going into the kirk very pensive, and thinking of the hazard of swooning in the pulpit, and how it would be matter of reproach, I heard the precentor reading, and found them singing Psalm 57:3, "From heaven he shall send down, and me from his reproach defend," &c. which was sweetly seasonable to my soul.
Having been for some time very indisposed, I was under some apprehensions of death, but very unwilling and afraid to die; in which case I had occasion to ride by that spot of ground where I was formerly so content to die, (see p. 26), which let me see a great difference in the frame of my spirit now from what it was then.
March 10.—The call was drawn up for Abbay himself, my lord Mersington, a good-natured, well-inclined man, being the main agent in the affair; at whose door the poor people, among whom there were wet cheeks on that occasion, laid the blood of their souls; but it prevailed not with him. One of the elders, Abbay's own tenant, was brought to subscribe the call. It was brought before the Presbytery on the 15th; and Mersington having a commission from Abbay, had signed it for him in his name as an heritor. Two elders and a parishioner appeared that day before the Presbytery, and
reclaimed, earnestly entreating them to consider, that they behoved to answer to God for what they did. But the Presbytery sustained the call. Mr. Colden would say nothing in the matter, but went out in the time. They appointed him to write to lord Ross, and to the minister of Paisley, to deal with my lord on my account with respect to Foulden. This was the ungospel-like way that even then much prevailed in the case of planting of churches; a way which I ever abhorred. I had been named by the commission of the assembly to go to Caithness, a few days before the moderating of that call; but Mr. Colden telling them, that, on the Thursday after, a call was to be moderated for me, it was dropped. So by it providence diverted that mission of me, which would have been very heavy.
On the 29th, the writing of the letters aforesaid having been forgot, a letter from Mr. Wilkie, bailie of Foulden, was read coram, bearing, that he would cordially concur for my settlement in Foulden; but thought reason and good-breeding required that I should go to lord Ross. Whereupon they peremptorily enjoined me to go to him; and Mr. Colden told me, I would be out of my duty if I went not. Nevertheless, having no clearness for it in my own conscience, I continued unmoved in my resolution; though it troubled me that they should have appointed me.
At the April synod I was invited to the Presbytery of Kelso; but being advised to wait till the following presbytery-day, I preached at Foulden; and, May, 1, hearing there that my lord Ross was was to send them another man, I resolved forthwith to go to the Presbytery of Stirling, having given over thoughts of Kelso.
Accordingly, having got up the extract of my licence, and testimonials on the 10th, I went away on the 15th; and having come to my quarters at Edinburgh, I was overtaken with a fainting-fit. On the 17th I arrived in the bounds of the Presbytery of Stirling.
Providence having thus tried me in my native country, especially in the affair of Abbay, I was so taught, that no place did ever after get so
much of my fond affection. But, notwithstanding all the bustle made for the laird's transportation to that place, it did not at this time take effect: but, after I was gone, Mr. George Home minister of Selkirk was planted in it, he having been uneasy in that public post. And afterward, when I was a member of the Presbytery of Churnside, a process of drunkenness was commenced against Abbay, which yet proved ineffectual for his removal out of Aiton. But Mr. Home being dead, he was at length, I think, before I came to Ettrick, transported thither; the people by that time being taught more tamely to bear the yoke.
PERIOD V
FROM MY REMOVAL INTO THE BOUNDS OF THE PRESBYTERY OF STIRLING, TO MY RETURN UNTO THE
MERSE
HAVING come into the bounds aforesaid, I took up my lodging with Thomas Brown of Barhill in Ferritown, with whom I had contracted a particular friendship when I was at Kennet, he being a good man. I was once and again invited to Kennet's family to lodge there, but declined it; a plain evidence of no real inclination to settle in Clackmannan parish. I continued with Thomas Brown while I remained in that country, which was near about a year; and in these days that text had weight with me, "Go not from house to house:" judging that course unworthy of the sacred character.
The parishes which I preached mostly in, while in that country, were Clackmannan and Airth, and after some time Dollar, all of them being then vacant. The Lord was with me in my work there, and did some good by me, especially in Airth and Dollar. The minister I conversed most with was Mr. Turnbull in Alloa, a steady friend. Mr.
Hugh White in Larbert, a man of considerable abilities, great piety and tenderness, was also very friendly and affectionate; but I had little occasion of converse with him, being on the other side of Forth.
Having preached some time in these parts, and before the Presbytery of Stirling on July 13, some of the parish of Carnock, in the Presbytery of Dunfermline, took occasion to hear me at Clackmannan and Airth. Whereupon I had two letters from Mr. John Wylie, then minister of Saline, afterwards of Clackmannan, inviting me to preach at Saline, a parish neighbouring with Carnock; but Mr. Turnbull shewed me, that I behoved not to go; and I went not. William Paton, one of the elders of Clackmannan, was clear for my going, and told me, what others kept secret from me, that they had a design on me for Clackmannan; but withal, that Mr. Inglis, tacksman of the estate of Clackmannan, whose coal grieve he was, and Kennet, would set their foot against it. But on July 26, two of the elders of Carnock came to the Ferritown unto me, trying how I would relish a call to their parish. I left the matter open, saying little, and desiring them to seek a minister from the Lord.
About the beginning of August, Mr. Wylie wrote to the Presbytery of Stirling, in name of the Presbytery of Dunfermline, desiring them to allow me to come a day or two to them; the which they absolutely refused; and that day, or soon after, I perceived the Presbytery had a design on me for Clackmannan. That their refusal I did not take well; but they never asked my inclination, and I had no freedom to urge their letting me go. However, afterward, on a letter from Mr. James Fraser of Brea, minister of Culross, inviting me to assist by preaching at the communion there, on the 21st, I went and preached there accordingly in the churchyard; Mr. Turnbull having allowed, if there was such a necessity as was alleged in the letter, it could not well be refused. At this time began my acquaintance with the worthy Mr. George Mair, Brea's colleague, whose conversation was afterwards of good use to me, in regard to the spirituality of it, and the insight he had into the doctrine of the gospel. I think, that holy and learned man Brea died not very long after.