POST 3: What to Do When Being Labeled Holds You Back
POST 3
What to Do When Being Labeled Holds You Back
I (Kara) was known as the “smart” kid in the family. Since kindergarten, studying and getting good grades have both been pretty natural for me.
My brother was the funny one—always cracking jokes and making our family laugh.
My stepsister was the athlete. She excelled at any sport she tried (well, except basketball, but that was because she didn’t know the rules so she kept fouling out).
My stepbrother was the creative and curious one. From dismantling sprinklers across our block (which got him into trouble) to diving into computers when they first became popular (which got him into his programming career), he’s perpetually eager to figure out how stuff works.
We didn’t discuss these labels aloud, but they still came to define us—first in our family, but also in our friend groups.
How about you? In your family or in your friend group, which label fits you? Are you the smart, funny, athletic, or creative one—like me and my siblings?
Or maybe you’re the artistic one.
Or the romantic one.
Or the wild one.
Or the spiritual one.
Or the outgoing or introverted one.
Those sorts of labels—that others say aloud or we think ourselves—are hard to avoid. While labels are not entirely bad, they tend to limit us at times.
Labels Limit Us
Labels limit us when we stay stuck in certain understandings of who we are and don’t allow ourselves to change. If we think that we’re only creative and not also potentially introverted or funny, we can shortchange ourselves and miss out on parts of who God has made us to be.
Labels limit us when we feel like we have to be what others expect—even if it’s not who we are or what we feel at that moment. Sometimes it’s not our view of ourselves that limits us but others’ views. If we feel like we always have to be the “happy one” at home to cheer up Grandpa, or the “good youth group kid” at church so our youth pastor likes us, we miss out on the full spectrum of emotions God’s given us. We end up denying some of our feelings, which can make us feel fake.
Labels limit us when we forget that more than anything else, we are defined as people who are made in God’s image and loved by God. God has made each of us as unique individuals, and our unique qualities often come to define us. No one can change the fundamental truths of who God made us to be. They define us more than even our standout athletic, academic, artistic, or social skills.
Even Jesus was dogged by labels. Being from Nazareth was an insult at the time, but Jesus turned the insult around. In John 1, he gives Nathanael a compliment, catching him off guard and sharing a vision that transcended any simple label.
When we choose to follow Jesus, this identity surrounds all others and becomes part of all we are.
READING GOD’S WORD
The next day Jesus wanted to go into Galilee, and he found Philip. Jesus said to him, “Follow me.” Philip was from Bethsaida, the hometown of Andrew and Peter.
Philip found Nathanael and said to him, “We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law and the Prophets: Jesus, Joseph’s son, from Nazareth.”
Nathanael responded, “Can anything from Nazareth be good?”
Philip said, “Come and see.”
Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said about him, “Here is a genuine Israelite in whom there is no deceit.”
Nathanael asked him, “How do you know me?” (John 1:43–48)
REFLECT AND RESPOND
Journaling Questions
What are the labels you would use to describe yourself? What are the labels others would use to describe you?
Which of these labels do you love? Which would you change if you could?
How do these qualities compare with your identity as a Jesus follower?
God, thank you for the skills and personality you have given me. I’m sorry for the way I let other labels define me. I want to be more defined by my relationship with you than by anything else. Please help me to view myself first as a follower of yours—above anything else. In Jesus’ name, amen.
SOMETHING TO TRY
On your phone or on a piece of paper, draw a fairly large circle in the center. Label that circle “Jesus follower.” Then draw a handful of other surrounding circles and write a label next to each of them—such as daughter, athlete, close friend. The bigger the circle, the more important the label is to you. If being a Jesus follower isn’t yet your biggest circle, that’s okay. Be honest with where you are now and come back to this exercise as you grow.
If there are other aspects of yourself that you’d like to explore further (such as being more of an introvert or sad or angry), then add those circles in a different color or label them with a different font. Keep this diagram somewhere you can pull it out from time to time as a reminder of the value in having Jesus define you more than anything else. Let it encourage you to keep exploring more aspects of who God has made you.
THE TAKEAWAY
The more you follow Jesus, the more your relationship with Jesus defines you.