INTRODUCTION Asking the Right Questions
INTRODUCTION
Asking the Right Questions
Life is all about questions.
And wow, there are so many questions.
Questions about the world.
Questions about the past.
Questions about the present.
Questions about the future—and more pointedly, about your future.
Maybe you feel the pressure to have everything figured out. Maybe you’ve thought the point of life is actually to find all the answers. Maybe you have adults around you who make it seem like that’s your job, which feels stressful.
We want to let you in on something up front: this is not that kind of book.
Embracing the Questions
We may not know you personally, but we’ve spent a lot of time with young people like you. We are youth leaders who serve in churches and researchers who listen to teenagers talk about life and faith. We hear a lot of questions, and we ask a lot of questions.
This book is about embracing the questions.
Because the answers aren’t the whole point. Questions take us on a journey, and the act of exploring, wondering, seeking, even wrestling our way toward answers changes us—sometimes as much as the answers themselves.
Over the course of this book, we’ll each share a few of our own stories of wrestling with big questions. Since there are three of us, we’ll clarify whose story is whose by adding our names in parentheses the first time we say “I” in a post. One thing you should know though: asking a lot of questions is what landed each of us where we are today.
Brad used to get in trouble for asking too many questions in school. He couldn’t help asking questions that started with “But what about . . . ?” Yes, he drove his teachers crazy.
Kristel is naturally curious and would always ask her parents “Why . . . ?” She wanted to know how and why the world functioned as it did and what it all meant. She’s still looking for answers.
And Kara especially used to love asking questions in church. All the better if she could stump her youth pastor and small group leader.
So if you’re a question asker already, we’re here to say you’re not alone. If, on the other hand, you tend to shy away from questions, or if asking questions stresses you out, you’re also not alone. We’ve written this as a guide you can use wherever you are in your journey.
Here’s more good news: questions aren’t new to God. By one count of the four Gospels, Jesus was asked 183 questions.
That’s remarkable, but what’s even more remarkable is that Jesus himself asked 307 questions. If he was comfortable with questions then, he’s comfortable with questions now.
So maybe we shouldn’t worry whether God can handle our questions.
Easier said than done, right?
All the same, we know what it’s like to not feel safe enough to ask what we really want—or to not have the tools and guides we need to explore our questions and even wrestle down some answers.
The 3 Big Questions underneath the Rest
Based on our research with over two thousand teenagers, we’ve learned a lot about your generation. We heard from young people like you that among the dozens of questions tumbling through any teenager’s mind at any time, the following often float to the top.
Who am I? The question of identity.
Where do I fit? The question of belonging.
What difference can I make? The question of purpose.
These aren’t questions just for young people; they’re questions for everyone. Adults still wonder about these things too. The three of us sure do! It’s just that the period of life you’re in right now is one that tends to push the big questions to the surface more often.
We’ve put this book together as a guide for you to explore these questions for yourself. You won’t be alone. We’ll be here, and we’ll tell the stories of other teenagers and some stories from the Bible and stories from historical figures along the way. Whenever we directly quote a young person from our research, we use a pseudonym we’ve given them to protect their privacy. So anyone we reference by just a first name (like Lilly, Daniel, or Armando) is a real teenager like you who participated in up to six hours of interviews over the course of three visits.
While we based our work on research, we haven’t weighed this book down with lots of citations. All the background and notes can be found in 3 Big Questions That Change Every Teenager, which was written for adults but might be interesting to you if you’re into research (like us).
How to Use This Book
Notice we didn’t say “How to read this book.” It is, of course, a book, and we do want you to read it. But we hope it is more like a guide—something useful, offering directions and insights along your journey.
Each post includes a story or some thoughts that introduce the idea, followed by these sections:
Sometimes the Bible passage will be the main focus of the day; other times it will offer a way to reflect on the ideas we’ve shared. The verses are written out for you here, but we encourage you to look them up in your own Bible or your favorite Bible app—that way you can mark them for yourself, see where the passage fits into a chapter and book, and read more if you’re curious. Sometimes we’ll share only part of a passage, so having your Bible open alongside the book will help you see what else is there.
We’ve written a few prompts and journaling questions to get you thinking. You can either write your reflections here in the book or use a separate journal for more writing, drawing, or whatever helps you process.
There’s also a starter prayer you can pray. Sometimes it’s helpful to have words to use, but if that’s not your style, you can just pray your own prayer!
Each post offers something you can do to turn your questions into action. All of the suggestions may not work for you, but we encourage you to try as many as you can. You might find a few practices you want to repeat or make a regular part of your rhythms.
One last thought for the road—short and sweet.
There are sixty posts in all, divided between the big questions of identity, belonging, and purpose. Here are a few ideas for how you might tackle the content:
However you choose to use this book, we want it to be shame-free. We didn’t list dates or days of the week or anything like that on the posts because we wanted you to have a guide that can flex with what fits you best.
If some of the language we use is new to you, or if Christianity altogether is new to you or something you’re checking out, we hope this guide can be a sort of “way in,” a start down a new road.
As you go, you might find even more questions bubbling up in you. That’s a good thing. Remember that finding answers isn’t necessarily the point. Both life and faith are, at their core, kind of a mystery.
If questions lead you to more questions, that’s no sign of failure. It’s a sign of growth.
So let’s get started right now. What do you wonder about? What questions bug you about your life now or what your life will be like someday? What do you wonder about your future? Go ahead and write down a few of your own big questions. Don’t hold back!
Who am I?
What difference can I make?
My other questions . . .