POST 1: Who People Expect You to Be vs. Who God Expects You to Be
POST 1
Who People Expect You to Be vs. Who God Expects You to Be
“I just really, really, really cared about what other people thought about me. And I really wanted to have the right friends and do the right things.” She pointed her finger at a handful of imaginary people: “I was whatever I wanted to be for you, and for you, and for you. I didn’t have any stability. I kept looking for satisfaction, but none of it was working.”
Rebekah
I (Brad) love theater. In middle school, acting saved me from isolation and even depression.
A lot of that love came from my drama teacher, Mrs. Dwyer. Starting in sixth grade, she saw something in me that others didn’t: the potential to take my over-the-top personality and extra-loud voice and channel both toward public speaking and performance. At her invitation, I joined the speech and drama team and never looked back. (It’s possible she regretted this invitation; at times, I was a bit much.)
Acting opened up an entire world of possibilities for me—and one of the most exciting parts was getting to pretend I was someone else for a while.
When Pretending Gets Complicated
Acting is great when it’s on an actual stage for fun. But not when it’s your real life.
Maybe you find that each day feels like a live performance in front of a packed audience. On the far right of the theater sits your family. The center of the audience is full of friends from school, work, sports, and your neighborhood.
Just to the left are members of your church. Next to church members sit rows of teachers, coaches, and mentors.
In the front row are the people who follow you on social media, while perched in the balcony sit influencers telling you how to measure your beauty and achievement.
Your task: to try to please every audience member. At every moment. You can’t just be yourself; you have to be your best self—whatever that means.
It’s exhausting.
More than that, it’s impossible. No one can do it.
The best of us can please only one audience at a time. But as we bounce from group to group, we’re often swapping scripts. So we end up defining ourselves this way: I am what others want or need me to be. I constantly feel pressure to live up to everyone else’s expectations.
All our lives, our identities are shaped by others. But you’re in a stage of life when others’ influence is massive. The thing is, while you may feel like you have to meet everyone’s expectations all the time, God doesn’t see you that way.
God doesn’t expect you to be perfect or to meet a long list of requirements. God created you the way you are and is joyfully watching your personality, gifts, and unique quirks unfold. God’s expectation is that you will be you—the person God created, not the person everyone else expects or pressures you to be.
We see this in the story of Jesus’ own baptism. When he was dipped under the water and raised up again, the voice of God spoke a blessing over him: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased” (Mark 1:11 NIV). This was before Jesus had done anything in his ministry to prove he was good enough for a blessing—no followers, no miracles, no teaching. He was loved, and his Father was pleased with him without any performance.
When I think back to the real power of Mrs. Dwyer’s influence on my life, it reached far beyond a skill set. In a season when I was experiencing intense social rejection, she never once made me feel left out, weird, or alone.
She didn’t just see something in me—she saw me. That gift profoundly shaped who I am today. Because who I am is enough.
READING GOD’S WORD
At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” (Mark 1:9–11 NIV)
REFLECT AND RESPOND
Journaling Questions
How often do you feel like your identity is caught up in others’ expectations? How does that make you feel about yourself?
List some of the unique qualities God’s given you. How would you describe who you really are beyond the expectations or opinions of others? It’s okay if you’re not sure or if you write characteristics that seem opposite one another; that’s part of discovering who you are! Just write a snapshot of who you are today.
What does it mean to you to read that God is “well pleased” with you? How might knowing that impact the way you see yourself?
Pray This Prayer
God who created me and knows me, thank you for loving me for who I am. I spend a lot of energy trying to be what other people want me to be. Help me to live each day knowing that I am who you made me to be, and let that be enough. In Jesus’ name, amen.
SOMETHING TO TRY
Flip the script. Pick an audience in your life with whom you’re working too hard to act according to a script that doesn’t feel authentically you. Where are you performing for the expectations of others? Imagine what it would look like to flip that script in some way—maybe it’s saying no when you typically say yes, giving an unpopular opinion, or deciding not to post a perfectly curated picture or video. Pay attention to what it feels like to choose to be yourself.
THE TAKEAWAY
Acting is great when you’re on a stage, but God didn’t put you on a permanent stage. Be your offstage self today.