POST 34: How to Get the Mentoring You Need
POST 34
How to Get the Mentoring You Need
Wouldn’t it be great to have the kind of mentoring and coaching Luke Skywalker had in the original Star Wars trilogy?
First, he had Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan was instrumental in Luke’s early lightsaber training. He single-handedly freed Luke and his companions from certain death by sacrificing himself to Darth Vader. That’s quite a mentor! Unfortunately, with Obi-Wan’s final, heroic act, he left Luke on his own to fight for truth, justice, and the Jedi way.
But then Luke ended up with Yoda as a mentor. One downside to Yoda’s mentoring was that Luke had to carry him around on his back (but at least that made him portable).
Yoda was constantly whispering all sorts of pithy phrases in Luke’s ear. Granted, most of them were over Luke’s head. But still, Luke was trained day and night by a wise Jedi master whose nine hundred years of experience were unmatched in the galaxy.
Though it’s often the case in movies, the type of mentoring Luke received from Obi-Wan and Yoda is not very likely to happen to us. Obi-Wan and Yoda were with Luke 24/7. They helped him with everything from lifting starfighters out of swamps to challenges of the will and body.
These days few people can give that kind of time or have that kind of power.
As we face big and small questions where we could use some wise advice, it’s often hard to find such be-all, end-all mentors. It’s easy to give up on finding a wise coach when no Yoda drifts into our lives and promises to make us a better person, he will.
Years ago, I (Kara) took a class on leadership that changed my view of mentoring, especially in those times when there aren’t enough mentors to go around.
Instead of expecting one perfect, all-encompassing mentor, what if we had a constellation of mentors—a small galaxy perhaps? No single mentor will be perfect, but each can speak into our lives, and they all can provide us with the diverse community of belonging we need.
Here’s more good news from research: as you grow closer to Christ-centered adults, your relationship with Jesus can become stronger and more vibrant. In other words, while it’s great to spend time with people your own age, being connected to trustworthy adults (in what we call “intergenerational relationships”) can help you develop a faith that lasts.
READING GOD’S WORD
Plans fail for lack of counsel,
but with many advisers they succeed. (Proverbs 15:22 NIV)
REFLECT AND RESPOND
Journaling Questions
What decisions are you facing, what plans are you trying to make, or what questions are you wrestling with?
Whom do you know who is older and trustworthy and might have some wise advice?
How do you think connecting with them might help in what you’re wrestling with and also in your faith?
Pray This Prayer
God, thank you that you have designed us to walk through life in community instead of walking alone. Please help me to know the right mentors to talk to at the right times to get the advice I need. When I feel intimidated or nervous about reaching out, may your grace give me strength and courage. If there is a potential mentor I need to reach out to right now, please make that clear to me. In Jesus’ name, amen.
SOMETHING TO TRY
Sometimes our attempts at finding mentors get stalled because we don’t know how to ask someone older for help. If you’re struggling with asking, try this script this week: “I’m realizing I could use some advice as I try to figure out [fill in the blank with your top questions]. I think maybe you could help me. Could we please have a short conversation about this sometime?”
Our experience is that when a teenager like you asks for a conversation about a specific topic, almost all adults will say, “Sure.” Often that single discussion is an on-ramp to multiple conversations and a longer-term coaching relationship.
THE TAKEAWAY
Never face your tough life questions alone; instead, ask one or more adults for the help you need.