POST 24: When You Feel Like an Outsider
POST 24
When You Feel Like an Outsider
You want to know if you really fit in there, if they really like you coming along or just invited you because they felt bad.
Janelle
I’ve always been a visitor in suburbia.
Let me (Brad) explain. My entire life, I’ve lived either on a farm or in a city. I’ve visited suburbs and have friends in suburbs, but I have never lived there.
This may sound silly. But sometimes when I’m with people, I can’t relate to things they talk about. I’ve never had a garage with space to keep stuff like coolers or camping equipment. I don’t own a lawn mower or a leaf blower.
I grew up driving tractors and working with cows and sheep, but I don’t fit in with that lifestyle these days. And in the part of the city where I live now, I’m in the racial minority. I have had to learn a lot about the cultures of my neighbors to understand them, but I don’t quite fit here either.
These parts of my life have all shaped my experiences of belonging. Feeling a little—or a lot—like an outsider has been part of my story.
Maybe you have different reasons for feeling as if you’re on the outside. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where your family doesn’t seem to have as much as some of the people around you.
Maybe you are a different race or come from a different ethnic background than most people at your school or church—or both.
Maybe you don’t fit some of the stereotypes people expect of your gender.
Maybe the lunch you take to school seems weird to other kids, and you get embarrassed about your family’s food.
Maybe you don’t watch the same shows, listen to the same music, or follow the same influencers, so you’re the only one who doesn’t get the joke.
On some level or another, we’ve all experienced not belonging or only half belonging. We have felt on the edge of outside, half-included but not really “in.”
No Outsiders
This may sound surprising to you, but Jesus understands what it’s like to be on the outside.
He grew up normal in some ways but strange in others. He was a child refugee who grew up to live as a migrant. He chose to spend time with people on the margins—people others ignored. This made him fit in even less with all the “right” people—or anyone at all.
To make matters worse, his family struggled to understand him. In the end, his closest friends deserted him and he died a criminal’s death, rejected by his own ethnic group and especially by the religious leaders. Ironically, God in the flesh was rejected and killed by the people whose job was to point to God.
Jesus didn’t fit their categories. He was an outsider.
That’s good news for us. Jesus took on all the awkwardness, shame, and loneliness of outsiders so he could identify with us—so his God-ness could fully experience our humanness—and to welcome us to belong to him.
Jesus’ welcome means there are no outsiders. We’re all in. We all belong.
You are all God’s children through faith in Christ Jesus. All of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek; there is neither slave nor free; nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. (Galatians 3:26–28)
REFLECT AND RESPOND
Journaling Questions
When, where, or with whom do you feel like an outsider? What do you do when you don’t fit in?
What are some things you and your friends do that might make other people feel like they don’t fit in?
How might knowing you’re always in—you always belong—with Jesus change the way you feel about where you fit? How might it change the way you treat or include others?
Lord, sometimes I feel so lonely, even when I’m with other people. I question my belonging. Other people make me feel left out by the things they say and do, and I make myself feel like an outsider because of my own self-doubt. Give me courage to believe that you’ve erased all the reasons I don’t belong. In Jesus’ name, amen.
SOMETHING TO TRY
Take the next five minutes (set a timer if it’s helpful) to close your eyes and imagine Jesus speaking to you, “You belong.” One by one, picture all the places you feel like an outsider, and imagine Jesus speaking these words in each setting. Then just sit with that phrase quietly. Repeat whenever you need the reminder!
THE TAKEAWAY
Next time you feel on the outside, remember that Jesus has thrown out all the reasons you don’t belong.