The Haircut That Never Happened
5.Daycares Don’t Have Drive-Thrus…
Please Don’t Leave Your Orders at the Door!
These days everyone seems to be on the fast track to convenience. Everything can be done with the push of a button or minimal effort and people are becoming very accustomed to modern technology and the convenience it allows them. You can deposit your check and order your groceries all from your phone, then go to the grocery drive-thru to pick up your order without ever leaving the comfort of your car. Even our cars are a place of convenience with their built-in navigation systems, dual DVD players and heated steering wheels and seats. We can pay bills in our bathrobes, shop for swimwear in our sweats, and many people can now work from home without ever being inconvenienced by having to get dressed. Life has become, in many ways, too easy, and many times we see the result of this madness creeping into daycare settings where it really doesn’t belong.
It’s great when a quality home daycare or center offers you some conveniences like hours to accommodate your schedule or proximity to your work. The problem occurs when parents become a little too accustomed to modern convenience and begin to treat daycare like a one-stop convenience store or a drive-thru where their kids can be ordered to go. If daycares did have drive-thrus, some parents would probably pull up, name the child they wanted delivered, and collect them through the checkout window, without even giving it a second thought.
We want parents to slow down and spend the time with their children that they deserve. Of course there will always be those days when parents are racing against the clock, and need to run in and out as fast as possible, but this shouldn’t be a regular occurrence. Make the same time for your kids as you would for other important priorities and commitments in your life. Childcare is not meant to just accommodate the working parent, it is also meant to benefit the child while the parent is at work. Pay enough attention to what they need at daycare to make their experience successful, so you can confidently focus your attention elsewhere while you’re away.
Honk Honk!!!
Daycare centers and home daycares are always busy places but can be especially busy at pickup and dropoff times. Parents are coming and going, kids are preparing to either start their day or leave, and providers have many responsibilities associated with opening and closing their classrooms. Parents and providers need to work together during these transitional times so that all runs smoothly and each day can start and end in success.
At the end of a busy day in a small home daycare, the kids were sitting at a table enjoying coloring activities and books as parents were streaming in and out picking up their children. From where the children were sitting, they could see the front driveway of the house through a large window in the living room. They would get really excited whenever they saw their own familiar cars pull up and would run to get their coats and wait by the door for their parents to come in.
The provider was busy briefly chatting with each parent about their child’s day and doing last-minute cleaning duties before closing. Meanwhile, a little three-year-old boy recognized his mom’s blue van and screamed with excitement as he quickly put his book away and ran to get his things. The provider knew better though and tried to distract him since she knew this child’s mom had a habit of sitting in the driveway for long periods of time on her cell phone before coming in. In the past, there were times when the daycare had actually closed and the provider had walked the child to his mom’s car. On those occasions, she would watch disappointedly as the boy would climb into his car seat and buckle himself in, with little or no acknowledgment from his mom as she continued her “important” conversation without disruption.
Once the boy’s mom pulled into the driveway, she once again remained in the car. This time, the boy finally questioned his provider about why his mom always took so long to come in. After several more attempts to distract the child, the provider decided to address the problem rather than ignore it. She took the little boy by the hand, grabbed his backpack and opened her door leading out to the driveway where they could clearly see Mom busily chatting away in her car. As they stood right outside the front door, the little boy started to jump up and down and wave frantically to get his moms attention to no avail. The provider also motioned for his mom to end her conversation and come to see her child who was so eagerly waiting for her. After a few minutes, his mom ended her call and hurried over to see what the problem might be. The provider explained that the child had seen her pull up quite a while ago and was now questioning why she hadn’t come in. She tried to explain the child’s feelings and express to the mom just how much her child missed her all day, but the mom looked annoyed that she had ended an important conference call thinking something was actually wrong. Something was very wrong in deed, but the provider apologized and again tried to explain how this child was feeling. In the end, his mom abruptly responded by saying, “Don’t worry about it. From now on, I will just honk and you can bring him out to me.”
While this story is sad on many levels and there are a few lessons to be learned from it, the main point here is that daycares don’t have drive-thrus for a reason, and honking will not get your child delivered to your car like a chocolate milkshake. You should be as excited to see your child as your child is to see you at the end of a long day. You should also look forward to spending a few minutes in his daycare checking out the latest art projects, chatting with your child’s teacher and making your child feel like his home away from home is a place that is important to you too. As parents we tend to get so wrapped up in our own lives, jobs and everyday demands that we forget daycare is not a place of convenience where we can make deliveries and later order our kids to go. Kids will only be young once so enjoy these moments and make the extra time for them that they deserve. Go the extra mile, put forward a little more effort and every now and then, try to see life through their eyes. Convenience is a great thing we all love it but there’s the right time and place for it, and pickup time at your child’s daycare isn’t one of them.
The Teeny Weeny Little Diapereeny
Every now and then, parents will donate diapers that have outgrown their children, and usually these diapers are either newborn or size 1. They will be placed into a bin labeled “extra” to be used as emergency backup when a child is completely out of diapers. These tiny diapers could be squeezed onto a baby of a bigger size, if needed, but trying to squeeze them onto a toddler is definitely pushing it!
The parent of a toddler had been reminded several times that her child had only enough diapers left for a week. Either the parent never picked up her child’s reminder notes, or just kept forgetting to bring in more diapers, but by the end of the week, the child was out. After the teacher used the last diaper that morning, she called his mom and left a message but did not receive a call back. After a couple hours, this child’s diaper needed changing again.
Now, not only was this child a toddler, but a larger and hefty one at that! When the teacher was preparing to change his diaper, she had no choice but to request a diaper from the Infant Room’s “extra” stash. This meant the diaper would be many sizes too small and she would probably end up needing help to get it on him. As the teacher held the teeny diaper in place on the child, barely covering the necessities, the assistant used masking tape to try to bring the two sides of the diaper together. The diaper kept popping out on one side, then the other, until they finally got it under control and all taped up! The child ended up with what looked like a teeny bikini diaper, Brazilian style! As we watched the child standing their proudly looking like a tiny sumo wrestler, we realized the situation was funny and unfortunate all at the same time, but the child didn’t seem to mind and at least the “situation” was covered.
One of the few requests providers continuously have is for parents to remember to bring in more diapers and wipes. You may be inconvenienced by a phone call at work but imagine how your child may feel in a diaper that is many sizes too small, or not to be changed at all. It always makes providers wonder what parent’s think we will use if their child is out of diapers? We are daycares after all, not 24 hour convenience stores!
No, We Do Not Deliver!
A six-week-old baby had just started attending a home daycare which was conveniently located just across the street from his house. His parents had him at a later stage of their lives and had been feeling a bit overwhelmed by his arrival so they were very relieved to find a daycare close by and be able to return to work and the normalcy of everyday life shortly after. The daycare provider was happy to take the baby and was optimistic about the arrangement with her neighbors.
At first, the parents would dutifully come to pick the child up at 3:30 on their way home from work. The baby was doing great and seemed very happy with the provider and soon the parents began picking the child up later and later. As spring arrived and the weather became warmer, the daycare provider started noticing his parents sitting outside on their patio, sipping drinks, while she was still caring for their child. At first this was no big deal, but after several weeks of watching this child’s parents sit outside for hours after work and relax while she was caring for their new born baby, she became very frustrated and felt they were taking advantage of the situation.
One afternoon, feeling like she’d had enough, she put the baby, who was the only child left, in his stroller and walked him by his house in hopes that his parents would get the hint and want to take their child. As she walked by their house, they casually waved at her, which she thought was odd, but they never got up or stopped their conversation to come see the baby at all.
At 5:30, which was closing time, his parents finally walked over to get the baby and casually explained to the provider that if she was going to walk the baby again near closing time, she could feel free to drop him off at their home if she wanted to. This was appalling and heartbreaking to the provider, mainly because she knew these parents were missing out on precious time with their sweet little boy, which we all know goes by way too quickly! Unfortunately, they were much too focused on the convenience factor instead.
Most children, within a reasonably short amount of time, will adjust to the routine of daycare and become comfortable in their daycare setting. Parents are usually very relieved to show up after work and find their children happily playing with friends or engaged in activities. As great as this is, some parents often mistake this to mean that their children don’t miss them while they are gone. As daycare providers, we want to assure you that your kids do miss you very much while you are away from them. They know by the scheduled activity what time their parents typically arrive and they eagerly watch each parent as they walk through the door, hoping their own will show up next. We understand, at times, it’s easier to get some errands done before coming to pick up your child, but this shouldn’t become a regular occurrence and your child shouldn’t always be the last one to be picked up.
The Haircut That Never Happened
The main reason I decided to own and operate a childcare center was that I hold children and their well-being very close to my heart. Having a soft spot for children, my staff and I have gone above and beyond the call of duty many times when we felt a family needed a helping hand. Unfortunately, sometimes that kindness gets taken for granted and, worse yet, gets abused.
A single mother of three had all three kids attending my daycare for several years. At times, throughout the years, the mother had car trouble or other things that prevented her from picking up her children. Since she lived very close to the center, one of the teachers or I would drop her children off each time one of these isolated incidents occurred.
At one point, one of her children required a surgical procedure, and I offered to bring her other two children to the hospital at the end of the day since I planned on visiting her child anyway. At the end of my visit, I offered to take her other children back home with me to sleep over so she could stay overnight with her child at the hospital. It’s not unusual for providers to develop close bonds with the children and families they work with, and treat those children as if they were their own. The night went well and in the morning, I brought the children back to daycare. Later that afternoon, their mother came to pick them up, and all returned to normal.
Many months later, the mother called me one morning and asked me to please take her oldest child for a haircut because he had school pictures scheduled the next day. I couldn’t really believe what I was hearing! I told her I didn’t have the time to take my own child for a haircut, let alone someone else’s! I was taken aback and felt truly disrespected by her request. To make matters worse, when I arrived at daycare later that morning, the office assistant handed me the cash the mother had dropped off earlier for me to pay for the haircut. How presumptuous of her!
Providers can and will make exceptions as needed for the children they care for and for the families that they serve. However, please remember that our jobs as providers are no less busy than other jobs; in fact, our jobs can be busier, and caring for children’s lives can require a higher level of responsibility than other jobs. That a parent would assume we have time to run her or his personal errands would be comical if it weren’t so insulting. Whether it’s to drive a child to a regularly scheduled lesson or an occasional appointment, make sure you have an agreement with your provider about special requests above and beyond their standard services.