What’s in the “Pot”?
12.Behind Closed Doors
What really happens when no one is watching?
Picture this: You are enjoying a nice evening out to dinner with a group of friends at one of your favorite restaurants. As you settle into the plush cherry-colored leather booth, you relax with a glass of fine wine, and enjoy good conversation with friends with classical music playing softly in the background. After a long work week, it really doesn’t get much better than this. Behind the kitchen’s closed doors, however, there is a different scenario playing out… Both chefs called in sick that night, so the understaffed kitchen crew is scrambling around doing their best to grill steaks and prepare pleasant-looking dinner plates. In all this chaos, your $30 steak happens to fall to the floor and, without giving it much thought, the cook quickly picks it up and throws it on the grill. No harm done, he thinks, since the fire will burn off any dirt and germs anyway, and the customer will be none the wiser. As predicted, you are none the wiser as you enjoy your meal and finish every last bite of the steak you paid for with your hard-earned money.
A steak is one thing, but when it comes to your child, how do you really know what occurs throughout the day before they are served to you at pickup time with a fresh clean face, big smile and a daily report detailing the day’s events? Unfortunately, not everyone who chooses to work with children has their hearts and intentions in the right place, so what you see at the end of the day may not always represent a complete picture of what actually happened that day. Most home daycare providers (often operating for 12 hours a day) are probably also tending to the needs of their families and homes during this time. In daycare centers, where there are usually a few staff members working together in each classroom, there can be more socializing and personal cellular phone use at times than care-giving. Knowing the right questions to ask, and the red flags to look for, will help reveal a more accurate picture of what might really be going on behind closed doors.
Singing in the Rain
For over a year, my friend’s two girls attended a small home daycare. They were very happy there and loved their daycare provider. The provider had three daughters of her own and all of the girls were best friends. My friend admits that she never really asked for details about daycare since her girls would talk non-stop about all the fun they would have and new things they would learn each day. She also didn’t give much thought to what the provider would do all day, other than to assume she was doing her job. Whereas my friend sometimes felt overwhelmed caring for just her two children at home, her provider was caring for six children! She would often jokingly say, “I wonder if she ever has time to sit down?”
One morning my friend called me in tears to say that something horrible had happened at daycare and she wasn’t sure what to do. She explained that after arriving at work, she realized she had forgotten to pay the daycare provider, so she returned during her morning break to take care of it. When she walked into the house, she could see the four girls watching TV together on the couch while two smaller children were playing together nearby. What she didn’t see was the daycare provider. Confused, she started to look around and asked the kids where she was. They replied that she was in the shower but… that couldn’t be true, could it? She walked down the hall towards the bathroom and could hear singing coming from the running shower! Completely shocked, she knocked on the door. The daycare provider came out a few minutes later acting as if nothing were wrong. She explained that every morning after breakfast, the kids would watch TV while she took a shower and got ready for the day. My friend understood that this was the provider’s home but she had never considered the idea that the provider would be tending to personal things during daycare hours. She left that day in tears with the girls, feeling very much like she had been deceived. She had trusted this woman and was paying her good money to watch her girls, but now she was left wondering if this sort of thing was a common occurrence and actually happened in other home daycares.
Dropping in from time to time at your home daycare is always a good idea. Don’t worry about whether or not you will be disturbing your provider or if your child might get upset. Rather, worry about what you might miss if you don’t. Just because home daycare providers are at home does not mean that they should be doing personal or household chores during the time they are operating a childcare business. You are paying for your child to be cared for and supervised while you are at work. You are not paying your daycare provider to shower, do her laundry or talk on the phone. Occasionally, all home daycare providers may take advantage of naptime to start dinner for their own families or to pay a few bills; after all, they are usually operating for 12 hours a day and everyone receives some sort of break during working hours. However, if a provider’s multi-tasking with personal duties jeopardizes your child’s safety, it becomes a problem, and sometimes different arrangements must be made. Don’t assume that these things never happen in your child’s home daycare; pop in one day unannounced and see for yourself.
Social Hour
Many years ago I was working as a director at a busy daycare center. One issue that seemed to come up repeatedly was that staff would often socialize with each other while working in the same classroom. We addressed this issue time and time again but this behavior would still reoccur.
Our toddler room was a very busy place. We had 21 toddlers with three providers and most of the kids were just turning two. Constant supervision was a must with so many young children and turning your back for even a second could result in disaster. One afternoon, the toddlers were outside on the playground which was surrounded by a large wooden fence with a gate that led out to the parking lot. The teachers were supposed to separate outside so that the entire playground was being monitored and all of the kids would be safe. On this particular day, the conversation must have been especially good because all three of the teachers were sitting on a large wooden climber together having “social time” while three toddlers opened the gate and were heading out into the busy parking lot, completely unseen.
I came out to check on numbers and immediately saw the open gate and the three ignorant staff members. They realized quickly what had happened and ran to the gate to get the three children. Luckily the children hadn’t gotten very far, but if I hadn’t come out right then, this event could have easily ended in tragedy. The three teachers were put on probation and separated from each other in different classrooms and licensing as well as the children’s parents were informed about this unfortunate incident. Even after this shocking event and this huge wake-up call for the teachers, I bet things like this still happen in daycares across the country every single day. Teachers will chat with one another and lose sight of the job they are supposed to be doing. It takes a special kind of person to stay engaged and present in what the children are doing all day and to not get distracted by text messages, phone calls or the latest juicy gossip.
Working in a daycare center requires staff to have a certain dedication and diligence to the job that they are choosing to do every day. Excuses in this profession come at the expense of a child’s safety and well-being and having a bad day could result in many children having a bad day as well. It’s a job that requires staff to bring their “A game” every day and to never fall short of the high expectations required of them. This job is not for everyone and thinking that playing with kids all day sounds like a fun and easy career choice could quite possibly be the biggest misconception someone considering becoming a provider could ever make!
Where Did Everyone Go?
It’s very common for childcare workers to call in sick, and due to the amount of illness and germs they are exposed to, it probably happens more frequently than in most professions. Most centers have substitute teachers or agencies they can call when backup is needed but there will always be those days when too many staff members are unable to come in and, regardless of backup options, classrooms can end up running over ratio. This jeopardizes the quality and safety of the children’s care. One center’s director experienced such a day, which turned out to be one of the craziest days in her daycare career!
This director recalls returning to work on her first day after a restful maternity leave, completely unprepared for what she was about to encounter. That morning, one of the teachers had a scheduled day off and two other teachers had called in sick. A fourth teacher’s child had gotten sick so she had to leave an hour after she arrived, and the cook had received an emergency phone call and left right after breakfast, leaving behind a sink full of dirty dishes and lunch still to be made. All the backup substitutes had been called but, unfortunately, none were unavailable.
When she arrived, hoping to slowly ease back into her job, she was thrown into a tornado of chaos and didn’t know where to start first. Two of the teachers with early opening shifts were waiting for someone to break them, and every room was running over ratio. She started in the infant room, which seemed to be the calmest at the time. She needed a moment to figure out the best plan for the day, but no matter how she figured it, they would be short-staffed and rooms would have to run over ratio!
As her day continued, giving one break after another and trying to get lunch together, she didn’t get a chance to take her own needs into consideration and realized a new issue had formed. She had planned to return to work without her baby at first, who was being cared for by a close relative, and to pump several times a day to be able to continue breastfeeding. In all of the chaos and craziness, she had forgotten to take time to pump and had now become fully engorged and was feeling extremely uncomfortable. Nevertheless, there was nothing she could do at that point, so she worked through the pain!
Everyone did their best that day to meet the demands of the job while keeping classrooms under control and the children safe and supervised. The director’s biggest fear that day wasn’t that licensing could make a surprise visit and cite the center for operating understaffed or that a parent might notice how there were more children than required caregivers; her biggest fear was that an accident might occur due to being understaffed or that a child’s needs might not be properly met due to the circumstances of the day. Accidents will occasionally happen that are unpreventable, but if an accident happened on a day like that, it would have seemed inexcusable. Children’s safety and well-being should always come first and foremost, in daycare as well as at home. So everyone stepped up that day and gave their all to ensure that happened.
Later that afternoon, rooms were finally back in proper ratio as children began to leave. The madness was over and everyone was relieved and grateful that all the children made it through the day unharmed. The teachers all pulled through a difficult day, with a little less sanity to show for it, and it’s times like these it’s so important to have such dedicated teachers willing to put in that extra effort!
In this example, it was clearly a crazy and stressful day that no one would want to relive. Unfortunately, when home providers take in more children than they are allowed, or when centers do not have enough staff and backup to meet staff-to-child ratio requirements, days like these become a recurring problem. Every center should have a backup plan for staff absences but sometimes even the backup plan can’t be relied upon. Like any business place, daycare centers can have crazy, out-of-control days, but they should be few and far between. Pay attention to your child’s classroom and make sure the center is consistently operating within ratio. You may ask to see a home provider’s license to verify how many children of each age group they are allowed to have. Ultimately, your child’s safety and well-being is dependent on how well and appropriately providers are operating.
What’s in the “Pot”?
In a nice suburban neighborhood on a tree-lined street with pretty houses and beautifully manicured lawns, one home had a sign out front advertising home daycare services. If what you see on the outside is a fair indication of the type of childcare program being offered on the inside, you would have no worries and no reason to look any further. In reality, what was behind this home’s impressive doors was not a pretty picture at all.
A couple dropped their toddler off at a home daycare, as they had done many times before, and went off to work. At the end of their workday, they picked up their daughter and headed home to start dinner. Within the next few hours, their daughter became very lethargic and didn’t look or feel well. They decided to take her into the emergency room. Upon assessing her condition, the doctor decided they needed to draw her blood to get a proper diagnosis. After analyzing the blood tests, the doctor delivered the shocking news to the anxious parents: the results showed traces of marijuana in the child’s system. The parents were in complete, utter shock and disbelief and couldn’t wrap their heads around what they had just been told. They realized the only place their daughter had been that day was at daycare. The hospital reported this incident, as required, to the authorities.
The following day, authorities showed up at the home daycare to investigate and what they found was unbelievable! After completing a thorough search of the home, they found the facility smelling strongly of urine and they found mouse droppings in areas where the kids would play. There were dirty dishes piled up in the kitchen sink and sharp knives within the children’s reach. The toilets didn’t work, the electricity had been shut off and, last but not least, a bong and other drug paraphernalia were found out in the open.
The most ironic part of this story is that while this search was being conducted, eight families tried to drop their children off at this daycare and were turned away by authorities. When these families were informed of the findings, they were confused, to say the least, and many couldn’t believe what they were hearing. They were unaware of, and had never seen, any of these conditions. When neighbors were interviewed, they stated they weren’t surprised about what had been found. They claimed they would see children constantly crying at the windows while the provider would be outside on her cell phone.
The home daycare facility was deemed unlivable and was shut down immediately and condemned by officials. It leaves you wondering how parents could drop off their children at such a place.
As a parent, you’re probably wondering how something like this can happen without your knowledge. Believe it or not it’s easier than you think to make something appear to be different than it actually is. If your child attends a home daycare, does the provider always greet you in one certain area of the home so that you have no chance to see any other parts of the house? You may think this is a convenience and it just may be, but it can also be a blazing red flag. Is it possible that there is something your provider just doesn’t want you to see? Initially you may have been shown the entire house and everything checked out just fine, but if your child is spending time in a home, then you need to be aware of what’s in the home at all times. It’s very disturbing as well as disheartening that this incident could occur, but at the same time it’s a great eye-opener for parents to realize they need to make a conscious effort and be more aware of what is going on behind closed doors at their child’s daycare.
The only way you may know what is truly going on behind closed doors is to open those doors yourself and take a peek. If your child is always ready and waiting for you in one certain area of your provider’s home, be suspicious. The provider in the above story specifically would discourage parents from going into the other rooms in her home, for good reason, and yet parents obliged without any suspicions! You should feel completely comfortable to walk into the areas where the children eat, play, sleep, and do activities anytime you like. Evidence of what the child has done all day, like artwork and activities, should be present in these areas. Occasionally, ask to use the bathroom to see what condition it is in. Is their soap at the sink and is the bathroom clean? Ask if you can help yourself to a glass of water in the kitchen. If these things seem uncomfortable to you, then you are in the wrong place. Make unannounced visits every so often. This will show you a more accurate picture of what’s really going on behind those closed doors, and hopefully keep unwelcome surprises or shocking incidents from occurring.
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An assistant was hired at a center and after working a few days, her co-workers complained to the director that she smelled like marijuana. She had passed her background check and the director hadn’t noticed or smelled anything unusual about her. The next afternoon, right after the assistant returned from her lunch break, the director called her into the office. At that point, she clearly picked up the smell of marijuana coming from the assistant’s clothes and also noticed her eyes were completely bloodshot! Shocked, the director looked at her and asked, “Have you been smoking marijuana?” The assistant looked back at the director with a straight face and bloodshot eyes and said, “No. I would never do such a thing.” She was fired on the spot! When it comes to people that want to work in childcare, like most other professions, know that they come in all kinds!
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