Pride on the High Dive
17.Memories and Milestones
It’s the memories we make through life’s journeys that matter most…
Most childcare providers will have many wonderful stories of children they’ve cared for through the years, and will have been undeniably, greatly touched by them. Children that have come into our lives leave their own unique imprint on our hearts, and bittersweet memories of the huge milestones we have helped them achieve.
Childcare may not always offer the benefits of other careers but, as providers, we feel so privileged to be a part of children’s lives. Parents don’t always realize that while they are choosing us to care for and teach their children, they are also selflessly sharing their child with us and allowing us to be a part of their lives. As we witness children reach new milestones throughout their time with us, their great moments become our great moments as well. We get to see babies take their first wobbly steps, hear their first spoken words, see first friendships form and, years later, see those same kids climb the big stairs of the bus on their first day of kindergarten.
While each child leaves us with many cherished memories, we hope they leave our care with many fond, fun-filled memories of their own…memories of a childhood full of friends, adventures, love, laughter, learning and carefree days that to them seemed never-ending. We often don’t realize until years later just how fondly they look back on their daycare years and how much they actually remember. We occasionally have families visit us years later and mention how their children still talk about their daycare days. Occasionally, we will run into a teenager who’s hardly recognizable, who ends up noticing us and blurting out, “Hey, remember me? I came to your daycare!”
One of the Firsts
When I first opened my daycare center, two of the first five children that enrolled was a three-year-old boy and his infant sibling. Through the years, the young boy had his ups and downs, and my dedicated staff worked with him on his occasional outbursts and stubborn moments. He and my daughter were the same age, so they ended up attending Kindergarten at the same school. (I still have the picture of the first day he and my daughter went to school together in the daycare van.)
One morning, when it was time for him to be driven to school, he was in one of his stubborn and angry moods and refused to leave the daycare. It took two teachers to finally get him into the van and, when they arrived at school, he refused to get out. The teacher got out of the van and tried to encourage and assist him out, but he wouldn’t budge. Despite his little size, he was a very strong boy, so she didn’t want to take a chance on hurting herself by carrying him. She decided she needed help and told the boy she would be calling the Principal out to come get him if he didn’t get out on his own. Still nothing. He probably figured it was just an empty threat. A few minutes later, the Principal appeared and said a few words to him while he was still in the van. She then gave her hand to him, and he calmly stepped out and walked into the school with her.
Years went by, and his time with us at the daycare was coming to an end. He was in seventh grade now, and soon would be turning 13, the legal cutoff age for school-agers in daycare centers. During this time, the other children in middle school at our daycare didn’t think they should still be in daycare, nor did they like getting picked up by a daycare van. They had requested the teacher pick them up behind the school in an inconspicuous spot where their friends couldn’t see them enter the daycare van. Ironically, this boy, who had acted like he didn’t want to be at daycare when he was younger and had given staff such a hard time, was now the only one among the middle school students who didn’t mind. He felt fine about getting picked up by the van in front of the school, and would frequently announce to everyone that “daycare is cool”.
We all knew that once he left, the place would never be the same, and it wasn’t; meanwhile his mother had two more children, so his younger siblings continued to attend and one of them still does. One afternoon, as I was leaving the center, I heard someone yell, “Bye, Rita” from the preschool room. I yelled back, “Bye” and continued walking out the door, wondering who the tall man in the preschool room was and how he knew my name. Suddenly I stopped in my tracks and realized who it was. It was the little boy who was now in 11th grade, taller than a beanstalk with a voice deeper than Barry White’s. He’d come in with his mom to pick up his little brother. I ran back in and gave him a hug (on my tippy toes) and, squeezing his (partially bearded) cheeks, I told him, “To me, you will always be that little boy I remember.”
Some children will spend over a decade with the same provider, and they may end up having to say goodbye as a teenager, but will likely never be forgotten. And what’s so rewarding for a provider is when they are told by those children, if they are lucky enough to see them again, that they, too, are still remembered. This child went on to tell me how he loved his daycare days, and they were some of the best days in his life. I never thought, of all the kids that entered my daycare, this one, who acted like he was “too cool” at times, would be the one who loved it the most.
Season of Memories
Christmas time is a season where we reflect on the year that’s coming to an end and look forward to the New Year ahead. A home daycare provider had started a tradition many years earlier with her daycare families and to this day, the tradition continues. Each year, on the last day of daycare before Christmas, she would hand out special and unique ornaments to each of the children. She put a lot of thought into the ornaments that she selected for each child, choosing symbols of the milestones each one accomplished and things they had been interested in. Her favorites were the tiny blue and pink booties for the babies’ first Christmas, inscribed with their names as well as the year. Many little boys were given tractor and train ornaments, and for the girls, she especially loved giving them fluffy pink ballerinas and princess crowns. As the children grew older and started school, they often were given chalkboard ornaments covered in colorful letters and numbers to celebrate the many things that they were now learning in school.
The daycare provider loved this tradition and each year, as she decorated her own tree, she would think of all the children she cared for throughout the years and wonder if they were hanging their ornaments and remembering those happy times as well. She also loved receiving Christmas photo cards her daycare parents would send of their children, which she proudly displayed on her mantle. She loved seeing pictures of toothless eight- and nine-year-olds who she had cared for as babies, and knowing that she was still in their families’ hearts and minds.
Choosing to be a daycare provider is essentially offering to join many parents on their journey to help raise their children. Providers, like many, may end their job at 5:00, but their dedication and compassion for their daycare kids continues beyond that. Daycare providers will worry when their daycare kids are sick, they will celebrate their birthdays and achievements, and they will continue to wonder how the kids they once provided care for are doing. While the kids may only be in the provider’s care for a short period of time, they will be in their thoughts and memories long after that.
Where is my Sister?
Every child is special in their own unique way; however, there are always those that leave lasting impressions for a lifetime. I had a boy who started attending my center as an infant who had recently been adopted from a Russian orphanage. When his parents signed him up, they explained that he had suffered developmental, social and emotional delays due to the treatment he received in the orphanage. He struggled with eating, receiving physical affection and interacting with others. The teachers put in a lot of extra time and hard work to help him get to his appropriate level of development. Many times, this proved to be quite challenging, given the nature of his delays, his never-ending curiosity and the amount of exuberant energy (and strength) he was blessed with. When he moved up to the Toddler Room, the teachers were chasing him almost constantly to keep him from climbing everything in sight, from the furniture to the walls!
Throughout his years at the center, the teachers saw and were encouraged by the strides he made in his ability to communicate, focus and extend compassion to others. When another child was sad, he would turn and look at the teacher and start “fake crying” since he thought he should be sad too; he did it with such emotion that you couldn’t help but laugh and adore him that much more! He would give hugs to his friends, and when he accidentally bumped them, he would yell out, “I sorry, I sorry!” an inch from their face. Once when his classroom door was open, which led to the Infant Room, he stood and peeked over the gate that blocked the doorway. When he noticed another friend from his class visiting her little sister in the Infant Room, he quickly began to shout while jumping up and down excitedly, “I want to see my sister too! I want to see my sister too!” While holding the gate, and continuing to jump with all the excitement, energy and strength he could muster, he broke the gate loose and came crashing down to the floor with it! His teachers, startled that he was able to knock the gate loose, quickly ran to his side and lifted him up. He wasn’t hurt, but instead was smiling with a big open grin that showed his teeth (luckily all intact). So happy he made it into the room, he immediately began searching for his baby sister. His teachers couldn’t help but laugh before telling him, “Honey, you don’t have a sister.”
All children can be challenging in their own ways. A quality provider welcomes these challenges and creates learning opportunities to benefit the child. Taking the time to discover children’s individual needs is key to helping them reach their full potential. The unique experiences my staff and I shared with this boy during the four years we had him left us with fond memories that we still laugh and reminisce about almost a decade later. I still get a smile on my face every time I think of him and I wonder how and what he’s doing these days…
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A group of elementary kids were crying in the school-age room at daycare on their last day of school. It was a sight to see these 11-year-old children huddled up in corners of the classroom bawling their eyes out. When the teacher asked them what was wrong, they replied they were sad (and scared) about having to start middle school in the fall, and were already missing their elementary school and the friends that would be going to different schools. It didn’t take long before their tears turned to non-stop fun and activities as they enjoyed their “end of the school year party” at their daycare. Daycare offers many comforts to children and despite other changes in their life, they can count on the security and consistency they have come to expect there.
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Pride on the High Dive
A little boy and his brother had been attending a home daycare for several years. They had learned many things and reached many milestones during that time, and the provider had always taken pictures along the way to share their many accomplishments with their parents. Both boys had taken swimming lessons every summer, and the older boy was soon going to learn to dive.
A few weeks before the start of summer, the mom found out she was going to have another baby and decided to take the summer off to spend with her children. The provider was happy for the family, yet disappointed that she wouldn’t be spending time with the boys that summer. What further saddened her was the fact that the boys were going to start school in the fall, so this would end up being their final farewell. She was going to miss them, but providers get used to bonding with children for a short time and then having to let them go.
A few weeks into the summer, the daycare provider was sitting at the edge of the swimming pool overseeing a group of kids when she heard her name called. She looked around but couldn’t figure out who was trying to get her attention. She heard it again and still could not figure out where the voice was coming from or who was calling her. A few minutes later, she saw the mother of the two boys she used to care for. The mother told the provider that her older son was on the high dive and he was screaming for her to watch! The provider and her daycare kids walked over to the fence that separated the big and little pools and looked up at the high dive. There stood the older brother, who, upon seeing his spectators, did a perfect dive into the pool and came up seconds later with a huge smile on his face. “I did it! I did it!” he screamed, and all the kids cheered him on by clapping and jumping up and down. The daycare provider was so proud of the boy for what he had learned so quickly and even more overjoyed that he wanted so badly to show her.
Many lasting memories and milestones can come out of a good quality daycare experience and the lessons that are learned can serve a child throughout his life. Remember, when your children leave a daycare that has contributed positively to their lives, they are probably leaving a lasting impression on their providers as well. When kids leave, providers are often left wondering how they are doing or if they have further developed any of the skills providers had first introduced them to. It’s always so heartwarming to see children years later and realize that we have a special place in their hearts too.