Chapter 17: Judgmental
CHAPTER 17
JUDGMENTAL
The sin of judgmentalism is one of the most subtle of our “respectable” sins because it is often practiced under the guise of standing up for what is right. It’s obvious that within our conservative evangelical circles there are multiple opinions about everything from what we believe to how we act to what our politics are, and most of us assume our opinions are correct. That’s where judgmentalism begins, when we equate our opinions with truth.
Of course, judgmentalism is not limited to conservative evangelicals. It permeates our society and occurs on either side of the cultural divide. Animal rights activists who burn medical research clinics and extreme environmentalists who vandalize ski slopes are acting out their judgmentalism. The person who says, “Jesus wouldn’t drive an SUV” is judgmental, not because Jesus would drive an SUV (that’s not the point) but because the person has made a dogmatic and judgmental statement based purely on personal opinion.
I grew up in the middle of the twentieth century, when people dressed up to go to church. Men wore jackets and ties — usually suits and ties — and women wore dresses. That’s just the way it was. Then, sometime in the 1970s, men started showing up at church wearing casual slacks and open-collared shirts, and women began to wear pants. (Jeans weren’t even on the radar for church back then, although that would come.)
For several years, I was judgmental toward this more casual style of dress. Don’t they have any reverence for God? I wondered.
I was wrong.
There is nothing in the Bible that tells us what we ought to wear to church. And reverence for God, I finally concluded, is not a matter of dress, but a matter of the heart. Jesus said that true worshippers are those who worship the Father in spirit and truth (see John 4:23). Casual clothing might possibly reflect a casual attitude toward God, but I cannot look at a casually dressed person and know that’s his or her attitude. Therefore, I should avoid ascribing an attitude of irreverence based purely on what a person is wearing.
I also grew up in the era of grand old hymns sung to the accompaniment of piano and organ. To me, that was the way worship should be. Then praise music began to replace the hymns I loved. Drums and guitars appeared on worship platforms. And again I was judgmental. How can people worship God with those instruments? It took me a while to remember that the New Testament churches had neither pianos nor organs, yet they managed to worship in “psalms and hymns and spiritual songs” (Colossians 3:16).
I still have a preference for church music sung as we did when I was younger, but it’s just that — a preference, not a Bible-based conviction. The same is true for those who love contemporary music and think the old hymns and organ music sound stuffy and boring. That’s a preference too, nothing to be judgmental about.
Some issues involve more than simple preference, of course. Some are matters of conviction. I remember a polite but firm letter I received from a woman who read something I wrote about drinking alcohol. After much thought and study, I’d concluded that in most instances the Bible teaches temperance, not abstinence. I had done that study because I found myself being judgmental when I would see Christians having a glass of wine at a restaurant. But the woman who wrote in was convinced I was selling out a foundation stone of Christian morals.
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating alcohol use. In fact, I believe that the widespread abuse of alcohol in our society makes a good case for abstinence. But this chapter is about judgmentalism, and I’m just giving some first-person examples of how easy it is to become judgmental over issues the Bible does not address with the clarity we would like — or address at all.
The apostle Paul faced this problem head-on in Romans 14. The church there was divided over the issue of what Christians should eat. Some people ate only vegetables; others thought it was fine to eat anything (presumably meat). The vegetarians thought they had the moral high ground and looked down their religious noses at those who ate anything. The “eat anything” crowd thought they had superior knowledge. They knew that what they ate made no difference to God if it was received with thanksgiving (see 1 Timothy 4:4). So they were judgmental in a different way.
Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Judgmentalism can be a two-way street. But judgmentalism is also a sin, no matter which side of an issue we’re on. It’s just so tempting to disdain anyone whose opinions are different from ours, then hide our judgmentalism under the cloak of Christian convictions.
Paul’s response to the situation in Rome was, “Stop judging one another regardless of which position you take.” And then he added, “Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make Him stand” (Romans 14:4).
Basically Paul was saying, “Stop trying to pretend you’re completely blameless in your interactions with fellow believers in Christ. God is the judge, not you.”
Playing God — that’s what we’re doing when we judge others. We’re claiming a role God has reserved for Himself. And that’s sin.
Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying we should never make judgments regarding the practices and beliefs of others. Scripture clearly condemns some actions, such as those described in Romans 1:24-32, Galatians 5:19-21, and 2 Timothy 3:1-5. When we judge them as sin, we are simply agreeing with the Word of God.
I believe we also need to make judgments concerning matters of doctrine, or Christian belief. Certain teachings are essential to biblical faith and need to be defended. But even here, we need to be careful. Because sound doctrine is important to me, I confess I have slipped into judgmentalism. I disagree so strongly with what some evangelicals are teaching that unfortunately I have sometimes demonized them. And though I believe I was right in my position, my judgmental attitude was sinful.
The point is, we can still sin even when we judge according to Scripture and right doctrine. We sin if we judge harshly or with an attitude of self-righteousness. We sin if we condemn the obvious sins of others without acknowledging that we, too, are sinners before God. One of the major objectives of this book is to help us stop doing that.
A CRITICAL SPIRIT
Most of us can slip into the sin of judgmentalism from time to time, but some of us practice it continually. These people have what I call a critical spirit. They look for and find fault with everyone and everything. Regardless of the topic of conversation — whether it’s a person, a church, a preference, or an activity — they end up speaking in a disparaging manner. I’m not writing about hypothetical people. I’ve been with some of them, and they are not pleasant to be around.
In earlier chapters, I have mentioned that some of our acceptable sins — selfishness, impatience, and anger — are often expressed more freely at home than in public, especially the Christian public. This is true of a critical spirit. Husbands and wives, parents and children, even siblings often hurt each other with this ongoing form of judgmentalism.
A friend of mine tells of being raised in an upper-middle-class Christian home where the father displayed this critical spirit toward his middle child. He was always putting her down “for her own good,” and the constant barrage of criticism gradually wore her down. The more he criticized her posture, the more she slumped. The more he pointed out her lack of eye contact, the more she stared at the floor.
Eventually that father’s judgment of his daughter became a self-fulfilling prophecy. She felt her father’s pattern of criticism as rejection and came to see herself as a reject. As an adult, she clung to anyone who offered her acceptance, and her “friends” soon learned how to take advantage of her need.
On his deathbed, the father realized his sinfulness and tearfully repented of his critical spirit toward his daughter. But it was too late. By then she was a crack addict.
This is an extreme example, true, but it gives an idea of how destructive this sin can be. It is often said that it takes seven compliments to undo the effects of one criticism. So let’s examine ourselves or, better yet, subject ourselves to the examination of others. Do we tend to find fault with others, especially members of our own family or members of our own church? Is our judgment harsh or unrelenting? If there’s even a slight chance this might be true, we need do whatever is necessary to put this highly destructive sin to death.
As I wrap up this chapter, I’m aware that some of my dearest friends may disagree with some things I’ve said in this chapter. You may disagree too, and I’m okay with that. I respect your right to read the Bible, think through the issues, and come to your own conclusions.
I’d like to be like Paul, who took a similar position regarding the divisive issues in Rome. He did not try to change anyone’s convictions regarding what they ate. Instead, he said, “Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind” (Romans 14:5).
Such a statement makes many of us uncomfortable. We don’t like ambiguity in issues of Christian practice. It’s difficult for us to accept that one person’s opinion can be different from ours and both of us be accepted by God. But that is the position Paul took. And if we will take him seriously and hold our convictions with humility, we’ll find it easier to resist the subtle — or not so subtle! — sin of judgmentalism.
YOUR TURN
“There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?” (James 4:12)
ENGAGE
1. Describe some examples of judgmentalism you’ve seen (or felt!) in your church, at school, in your community, or on the Internet. What kind of person or issue most tempts you to be judgmental or hypercritical?
2. Judgmentalism begins, writes the author, when “we equate our opinions with truth.” What’s the difference between a preference for something and a Bible-based conviction? What can happen when we elevate personal convictions to the level of biblical truth — even when the Bible is not clear on that particular issue?
3. How does the author distinguish between “making judgments” and “being judgmental”? How is the perspective of Bible-based confrontation different from much of our society’s emphasis on “tolerance”?
BRING IT TO GOD
Meditate on your answer to the first question above. Take your personal judgment issues to the Lord in prayer. Confess any lapses into a judgmental spirit and pray for a sweet and discerning spirit instead.