Chapter 8: Anxious and Frustrated
CHAPTER 8
ANXIOUS AND FRUSTRATED
Some years ago, I went through the entire New Testament looking for teaching on and examples of various character traits. I found twenty-seven.
It may not surprise you that love was the big winner. It came up at least fifty times.
Humility was a close second, with forty instances.
But what really surprised me is what came third: trust in God. It’s stressed at least thirteen times in the New Testament. To me that means (1) trust is a big issue for a lot of people and (2) God really wants us to learn to trust Him.
The opposite of trust in God is anxiety, and Jesus had a lot to say about that. In Matthew 6:25-34, for instance, He used the word anxious or worry six times. We’re not to be anxious about having something to eat, drink, or wear, and we’re not supposed to worry about what’s going to happen in the future. Jesus also told us repeatedly to “fear not” (see, for example, Matthew 10:31; Luke 12:7). Paul picked up the same theme in Philippians 4:6: “Do not be anxious about anything.” And Peter urged, “[Cast] all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).
When you or I say to someone, “Don’t be anxious” or “Don’t be afraid,” we are usually just trying to encourage that person. But when Jesus says it (or Paul or Peter, by divine inspiration), it’s a command.
In other words, anxiety is sin.
Does that surprise you? It surprises a lot of people because anxiety seems so … normal. It’s often dismissed as a matter of temperament (as in “anxious personality”) or an inevitable response to difficult events in a fallen world. It’s true that there’s a lot of anxiety going around, but that doesn’t mean it’s normal or inevitable. It certainly doesn’t mean anxiety isn’t a sin. Can you picture Jesus ever being anxious or frustrated? And aren’t we supposed to model our lives on Him?
Anxiety is sinful because it’s basically distrusting God. I get anxious because, at some level, I just don’t believe God will take care of me. Suppose someone you love were to tell you, “I don’t trust you. I don’t believe you love me and will care for me.” You’d be insulted, right? Yet that is what we are saying to God by our anxiety.
Anxiety also reveals disbelief in or resistance to God’s providence. Providence simply means that God’s in charge of everything that happens. He has a plan. He orchestrates everything in His universe for His glory and the good of His people. Some believers have difficulty believing that, and those who do believe often lose sight of it or resist it. We tend to focus on the immediate causes of our anxiety rather than remembering that it’s all under God’s control.
This is a persistent struggle for me when it comes to air travel. I fly often for speaking engagements, and my travel usually involves a connecting flight from the city where I live to one of the airline’s hub cities. If that first flight is late, I may miss the next flight to my destination. Then I am tempted to become anxious about making that connection, because usually I am scheduled to speak within a few hours after my scheduled arrival, and it’s important to me that I make that flight so I can get comfortably settled before it’s time to speak.
But what if God’s agenda is different from mine? What if He has a reason for me to be late for that meeting or miss it altogether? Will I fret and fume, or will I believe that God is in control of my travel and accept His agenda, whatever that may be?
I tend to think, Lord, it’s important that I arrive in time to speak at that meeting. The people in charge are counting on me. What will they do if I don’t arrive in time? But I am learning to add, God, it’s Your meeting. If You don’t want me there, that’s Your business. And what the people who are counting on me to be there will do is also Your business. God, I accept Your agenda for this situation, whatever that may be.
Accepting that God’s in control does not mean we shouldn’t pray about our concerns. Paul’s command to not be anxious is accompanied by the instruction to pray about whatever situation is bothering us (see Philippians 4:6). And even Jesus, anticipating His suffering on the cross, prayed, “If it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39). So it is appropriate to pray for relief and for deliverance from whatever triggers our anxiety. But we should always do so with an attitude of accepting whatever God may have in mind and a confidence that, whatever the outcome, God’s plan is better than ours.
Do you, like me, tend to get anxious in certain circumstances? Do you tend to chafe under God’s agenda when it is different from your own? If so, I encourage you to memorize and pray over some of the Scriptures mentioned above. They really help.
Above all, ask God to help you believe that He really does know better than you do. His will for you in any circumstance comes from His infinite wisdom and goodness and is intended for your good. Ask Him to give you a heart that is submissive to Him even when His plans conflict with yours.
WORRY
Worry is a synonym for anxiety in the Bible. In popular usage, however, we tend to associate worry with more long-term difficult or painful circumstances for which there appears to be no resolution. These are the kinds of circumstances that tend to keep us up stewing over what might happen and trying to figure out what to do.
I have several friends who have mentally or physically dependent adult children. The parents are getting older. And they can easily lie awake at night wondering, Who will care for my child after I die? If I were them, I’d be tempted to worry too. And yet the Bible tells us, “Do not worry about tomorrow” (Matthew 6:34, NIV).
We do have the promises of God and the ministry of the Holy Spirit to help us in these difficult times. Recently, a friend who is actually experiencing one of these long-term situations called my attention to the J. B. Phillips translation of 1 Peter 5:7: “You can throw the whole weight of your anxieties upon him, for you are his personal concern.” Jesus said that God does not forget a single sparrow (see Luke 12:6). It’s not a stretch to say that you, His child, are indeed His personal concern.
Granted, that’s not always easy to remember, though. Sometimes a situation we’re facing looms larger in our minds than the promises of God. Trust in God’s care and belief in His providence can be a struggle. At such times I find it helpful to think of the distressed father in the Bible whose son was possessed by demons. “I believe,” he cried out to Jesus, “help my unbelief !” (Mark 9:24).
There is a vast difference between stubborn unbelief such as was demonstrated by the people of Jesus’ hometown (see Mark 6:5-6) and the struggling faith of the son’s father. God honors our struggles, and the Holy Spirit will help us. The important issue is that we seek to honor God through whatever faith we have and lean on Him to help us.
FRUSTRATION
Closely akin to anxiety or worry is the sin of frustration. Whereas anxiety involves fear, frustration usually involves being upset or even angry at whatever or whoever is blocking our plans. For instance, I might have an important document to print from my computer, but the printer will only produce gobbledygook. My blood pressure begins to rise. I get frustrated.
Actually, this type of reaction has its roots in ungodliness, the tendency to live as if God were not involved in my life or my circumstances. I fail to recognize the invisible hand of God behind whatever is triggering my frustration. In the heat of the moment, I tend not to think about God at all. Instead, I focus entirely on the immediate cause of my frustration — my printer.
The passage of Scripture that has greatly helped me deal with frustration is Psalm 139:16, which says, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (NIV). “Days ordained for me” refers not only to the length of my life, but to all my daily events and circumstances. God is in charge of each one of them. I can trust Him to work things out for His glory and my good.
I find this is a tremendously encouraging and comforting thought. When something happens that threatens to frustrate me, I actually quote Psalm 139:16 to myself and then say to God, “This circumstance is part of Your plan for my life today. Help me to respond to it in faith and in a God-honoring way. And please give me wisdom to know what to do.”
Note what resources I have brought to bear on the circumstance that tempted me to frustration. First, I’ve applied a specific Scripture to the circumstance. Second, I’ve asked for the Spirit’s help in responding in a godly manner — that is, without the sin of frustration. Finally, I’ve asked for practical wisdom. After all, my document does need to be printed!
I have also found it beneficial to ask God if there is something I need to learn or pay attention to. Sometimes God uses events that tempt us toward frustration to get our attention or even to give us a nudge in an area we need to grow in.
In any case, there are no events in our lives that do not ultimately come to us from the invisible hand of God, nothing that is beyond His loving care.
We really can trust Him. Why worry?
YOUR TURN
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God … casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:6-7)
ENGAGE
1. Read Matthew 6:25-34 and make a list of the things Jesus said we shouldn’t be anxious about. What did He say about how we should respond to anxiety (worry)?
2. Why does anxiety seem so normal in our culture — in our daily activities, in advertising, in news reports? How does the Bible’s teaching about anxiety contradict what modern culture assumes about it?
3. Do you believe that some people are naturally more prone to anxiety or frustration than others? Can a natural reaction still be a sin?
4. What circumstances tend to make you anxious? Worried? Frustrated? How have you typically reacted? How does your typical reaction compare to what this chapter recommends?
BRING IT TO GOD
Choose one circumstance that concerns you right now and tempts you to anxiety, worry, or frustration. Picture yourself laying that circumstance at God’s feet and leaving it there for Him to handle. Then thank God that you can always trust Him to care for you.