Marriage and Virginity (continued)
24, 30. It is not only that one must not commit adultery, which is what everyone (not just certain ones) does who divorces his wife and marries someone else, even if the reason for marrying again is to make the woman a Christian. Moreover, anyone who is not married, but has made a vow of celibacy to God, should on no account commit sin with that excuse in mind, believing he should marry because the woman who wants to marry him has promised to become a Christian. Something it was not wrong for someone to do before making a vow becomes wrong once the person has made a vow never to do it. It is assumed that the vow was one it was right to make, such as a vow of perpetual virginity, or a vow of celibacy made by someone who has become free from the marriage bond after the experience of marriage, or a vow made with mutual consent by a faithful and chaste husband and wife who release each other from their sexual obligations, a vow it is wrong for either of them to make without the other. Once people make these and other similar vows which are properly made, on no condition must they be broken, since they have been made unconditionally. This too is commanded by the Lord, as we should understand from the text, Make vows to the Lord your God, and keep them (Ps 76:11). This is why, referring to women who make a vow of virginity and afterward want to marry, which was certainly not wrong for them to do before they took the vow, the apostle says: They incur damnation, because they have broken their original promise (1 Tm 5:12).
31. So there is nothing good that is wrong, and there is nothing forbidden by the Lord that is not wrong.
Paul Advises Us to Choose the Better Path
25. When, however, things are left to our own decision because there is no binding commandment from the Lord, we should listen to the apostle. He guides us in the Holy Spirit and advises us to choose the better things or to avoid things that are not good. We should listen to him when he says, I have no commandment from the Lord, but I give you advice (1
Cor 7:25); and I say, not the Lord (1 Cor 7:12). If anyone wants to do the better thing, he should listen to these words: If he is not bound to a wife, he should not look for a wife, although if he takes a wife, he does not sin (1 Cor 7:27-28). Here he advises the virgin not to marry: Anyone who gives her in marriage does well; and anyone who does not give her in marriage does better (1 Cor 7:38). And here he suggests that a woman will be happier if she stays as she is: If her husband dies, she is free to marry as she chooses, although only in the