Marriage and Virginity (continued)
commandments, and the repentance whereby we do not excuse, but accuse, ourselves of our sins, it is obvious that when this happens, we receive these things as a gift from him and they have their effect with his help. In relation to obedience there is an even clearer statement: The Lord directs the steps of men and women and takes pleasure in their progress (Ps 37:23), while about repentance the apostle says: To see if God will give them repentance (2 Tm 2:25).
43. About celibacy itself has it not been said in the clearest way: And although I knew that no one can be continent unless God grants it, even this too, to know whose gift it is, was also part of wisdom (Wis 8:21)?
God Even Gives the Gift to Know His Gifts
42. Perhaps, however, celibacy is a gift from God, but wisdom, whereby one knows that the gift is not one's own but comes from God, is the human being's own accomplishment. On the contrary, The Lord makes the blind wise (Ps 146:8); and The Lord's words are trustworthy and they give wisdom to the little ones (Ps 19:7); and If anyone is in need of wisdom, let that person ask for it from God, who gives generously to everyone and does not hold back, and it will be granted (Jas 1:5). Virgins, however, should be wise, so as not to let their lamps go out;†54 but how are they to be wise, except by not aspiring to the high places, but being content with the lowly (Rom 12:16)? Wisdom itself said to mankind: Behold, piety is wisdom (Jb 28:28). If, therefore, you have nothing that you have not received, do not be proud but be afraid (Rom 11:12). Then do not love little, as though you have been forgiven little, but love much because you have been given much. If someone loves because of being excused from giving something back, how much more ought someone to love who has been given something to keep? When anyone stays chaste from the beginning, it is God who directs them; and when anyone becomes chaste after being unchaste, it is God who corrects them, and when anyone is unchaste to the end, it is God who rejects them. The way God decides these things may well be mysterious, but it cannot be that it is unjust. Perhaps the reason why it is hidden is to make us more afraid and less proud.
False Humility Is a Worse Form of Pride
43, 44. Now that men and women know that they are what they are by the grace of God, let them not fall into another trap of pride, by becoming proud even about God's grace and looking down on others because of that. This was the sin of that Pharisee who gave thanks to God for the good things he had, but still put himself above the tax collector who confessed his sins.†55 What then is the virgin to do? What are to be her thoughts if she is to avoid seeing herself as superior to men and women who do not have the same great gift? She ought not to pretend to be humble, but should show that she is; for a pretense of humility makes pride worse. For this reason, when scripture wanted to show that humility should be genuine, it first said, The greater you are, the more humble you should be in everything, but also added, you will find favor with God (Sir 3:18-19), and there can certainly be no pretense of humility with him.
The Virgin Must Consider Her Hidden Defects
44, 45. What shall we say then? Is there something that God's virgin can think truthfully, so as not to see herself as better than other women of faith, whether widows or married women? I am not speaking of a sinful one, as everyone knows that a woman who is obedient is better than a virgin who is not.†56 When, however, both keep God's commandments, will she be afraid to prefer holy virginity even to chaste marriage, celibacy to matrimony, and to put the hundredfold fruitfulness ahead of the thirtyfold fruitfulness? Not at all; she must not hesitate to rank the one above the other. Nevertheless, this virgin, this obedient and God-fearing virgin, will not dare to consider herself superior to any particular obedient and God-fearing woman; otherwise she will not be humble, and God resists the proud (Jas 4:6). What then should be her thoughts? She should consider God's hidden gifts, which are revealed even to the person who has them only when put to the test. Saying nothing about other things, even though she is concerned about the Lord's interests, how to please the Lord (1 Cor 7:32), how does the virgin know whether perhaps, because of some hidden spiritual defect, she is not yet ready for martyrdom, whereas the other woman, whom she delights to think is her inferior, is already able to drink the cup of the Lord's humility, the cup he offered to be drunk first to the disciples who were eager to have the places of honor?†57 What I am saying is this: How can she know whether perhaps she is not yet a Thecla, but the other woman already is a Crispina?