Marriage and Virginity (continued)
pride adds its weight to them. If, however, they are suppressed by devout humility, they will be fully absolved by the priest we have in heaven.
51. I do not wish to argue with those who assert that it is possible for a human being to live in this life without committing any sin; I do not argue with that, and do not contradict it.†67
Perhaps we measure great persons from the viewpoint of our own wretchedness, and because we compare ourselves with ourselves we fail to understand them.†68 One thing I know, those great persons, who are different from us and outside our experience, are great precisely to the extent that they find favor with God by being humble in everything. However great they are, the servant is not greater than the master or the disciple greater than the teacher (Jn 13:16).
That master is the one who says, Everything has been handed over to me by my Father (Mt
11:27), and that teacher is the one who says, Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and learn from me (Mt 11:28). And what do we learn? For, he says, I am gentle and humble of heart (Mt 11:29).
Love and Humility Protect Virginity
51, 52. At this point someone might say, "He is no longer writing about virginity, but about humility." As if our object is to preach just any virginity, and not the one that follows God's way. The greater I perceive its excellence to be, the more I dread it being stolen and destroyed by pride. The only one who can protect the gift of virginity is God himself, he who gave it, and God is love (1 Jn 4:8). Love, therefore, is the guardian of virginity; and the place for this guardian is humility. This is the dwelling place of the one who said that his Spirit rests on the humble and peaceful and those who reverence his word.†69 How is it irrelevant, then, if I have wanted the good thing that I am commending to be protected more securely, and therefore have taken steps to see that there is a place ready for its guardian? I speak with confidence, and I have no fear that those I am anxiously advising to share my fears will be angry with me for having those fears. Married persons who are humble will follow the Lamb
—if not wherever he goes, certainly as far as they are able—more easily than virgins who are proud. How can someone follow him, who does not want to go near him? And how can someone go near him, who does not come to him to learn, because he is gentle and humble of heart?†70 Those whom the Lamb leads after him wherever he goes are those with whom previously he has found a place to lay his head. A proud, cunning person once said to him, Lord, I shall follow you wherever you go, and he answered, Wolves have their holes and the birds of the air their nests; but the Son of Man does not have a place to lay his head (Mt 8:19-
20). With the word "wolves" he was accusing him of cunning trickery, and with the word "birds" accusing him of fickle vanity. He did not find in him the devout humility where he could rest. So it happened that, although he had promised to follow the Lord, not just for some of the way but absolutely wherever he went, he did not follow him anywhere at all.
Humility Will Produce Love
52, 53. This, therefore, is what you must do, virgins of God, this is what you must do: follow the Lamb wherever he goes. But first come to the one you are going to follow and learn, for he is gentle and humble of heart (Mt 11:29). If you love him, come humbly to the one who is humble; and do not leave him, lest you fall. Anyone who is frightened of leaving him says the prayer, Let not the foot of pride come upon me (Ps 36:11). Continue along the road to greatness with humble steps. He who did not decline to stoop to those lying prostrate will raise up those who follow him with humility. Commit to him for safekeeping the gifts he has given you, trust him to maintain your strength.†71 Whatever evil you avoid committing with his protection, count as having been forgiven by him. Then you will not think you have been forgiven little and so love him little, and will not, with disastrous self-glorification, disdain the tax collectors as they beat their breasts.†72 As for strength you know you have from experience, take care not to become proud about what you are capable of enduring; as for strength you do not know you have from experience, however, pray that you will not be tempted beyond what you can bear. When you are superior to other persons in obvious things, think of them as being superior in something hidden. When you generously assume others to have good qualities that perhaps you are not aware of, your own gifts that you are aware of are not diminished by the comparison, but are made secure by love. Moreover, the more humble you are in your desire for them, the more readily the gifts that perhaps you still lack will be granted to you. Let those of your number who hold fast be an example to you; let those who lapse increase your fear. Love what the former do, so that you will imitate it; grieve for what the latter do, so that you will not become puffed up. Do not decide your own justification, but submit yourselves to God's judgment. Pardon the sins of others, pray for your own. Avoid sin in the future by being vigilant, destroy sins of the past by confessing them.
Virginity Is the Angelic Life on Earth
53, 54. Yes, your way of life is now in harmony with the virginity you profess and preserve.
Not only do you have nothing to do with murder, satanic sacrifices and other abominations of the devil, theft, robbery, fraud, perjury, drunkenness and every kind of greed and excess, pretense, envy, irreverence and cruelty,†73 but even things that are less serious, or at least thought to be so, are not observed in you, and do not happen. There are no impudent looks, no wandering eyes, no unbridled tongue, no suggestive laugh, no smutty jokes, no immodest ways, no extravagant or affected walk. You do not repay evil with evil, curses with curses (1 Pt 3:9). In the end you have that supreme degree of love, such that you would lay down your life for your brothers and sisters.†74 Yes, that is how you are now, and that is how you ought to be. When you have added these qualities to your virginity, you will display the life of angels to all, and a heavenly way of life on earth. Nevertheless, the greater you are, all you who are great in this way, the more you must be humble in everything, in order to find favor with God (Sir 3:20), so that he will not resist the proud,†75 nor humble those who exalt themselves,†76 nor fail to drag through the narrow door those who are swollen with pride. When there is ardent love, however, there is no need for any concern about lack of humility.
Virgins Should Contemplate the Incarnate Savior
54, 55. If, therefore, you reject human marriage, where you would have children, love with all your heart the one who is the most handsome of men (Ps 45:2). You are free to do this; your heart is free of the ties of marriage. Gaze on the beauty of your lover, ponder how he is equal to the Father,†77 but subject to his mother; ruler in heaven, but servant on earth; creator of all things, but also creature as one of them. See how beautiful is the very thing the proud disdain in him. Gaze with the mind's eyes on the wounds of the crucified one, the marks in the flesh of the risen one, the blood of the dying one, the price paid for the faithful, the transaction completed by the redeemer.
Virgins Should Love Christ as a Spouse