Marriage and Virginity (continued)
praised as deserving, because after her husband's early death for the rest of her long life she fought against the flesh and overcame it. Scripture says: Anna was a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel of the tribe of Aser. She had reached a great age, but had lived with her husband for seven years from when she was a virgin. She had been a widow up to her present age of eighty-four, and did not leave the temple, giving service in prayer and fasting day and night (Lk 2:36-37). You see how the holy widow is extolled not only because she had only one husband, but also because she lived with her husband for only a few years after the time of her virginity, and then gave herself so fully to religious practices and carried out the obligations of chaste widowhood up to such a great age.
Widows Should Be Judged by Their Religious Devotion
14, 17. Let us look at three widows, who possess separately the things that were all combined in Anna. The first has had only one husband, but she has not been a widow for as long, because she lived with her husband for a long time, and she does not have the same religious zeal, not giving herself in the same way to prayer and fasting. The second, after the very short life of her first husband, also lost a second husband in a short time, and she has been a widow for many years, but she too does not dedicate herself so completely to the devout practices of prayer and fasting. The third not only has had two husbands, but she lived with them, either with each of them or with one or the other, for a long time; she became a widow at a more advanced age, but at an age when she could still marry and have children if she wanted to, and she then embraced chastity as a widow. She, however, is more attentive to God, and more concerned for activities that please him, serving him in prayer and fasting day and night like
Anna (Lk 2:37). If it is debated which of these has most merit, who cannot see that the victor's prize in this contest must go to the one with greater religious fervor? Similarly, if three others are considered, each of whom lacks one of those three things but has the other two, who can doubt that the better ones are those whose two special qualities include devout humility, and who therefore are profoundly devout?
18. None of those six widows is equal to you. If you persevere in this vow until old age, you can have all of the three things that made Anna's merit outstanding. You have had only one husband, and he did not live long with you in this world. Because of this, if you demonstrate compliance with the words of the apostle, She who is truly a widow and left alone in the world has put her hope in the Lord, and perseveres in prayer day and night (1 Tm 5:5), and if you take good care to avoid what he said after that, She who lives a life of pleasure is dead while still alive (1 Tm 5:6), then all three of those perfections that Anna had will be yours too.
You also have children, which perhaps she did not, but you are not to be commended more because you have them, but because you give yourself to their care and education. They were born because of your fertility, they live because of your good fortune, but their development like that is due to your good will and ability. People should congratulate you on those other things, but imitate you in this. With prophetic insight Anna recognized Christ in his virgin mother;†24 the grace of the gospel has made you the mother of Christ's virgin.
That sacred virgin, therefore, whom you offered to Christ in response to her free choice and request, adds to the merits of widowhood of her grandmother and her mother something of the merit of virginity.†25 It is not without some consequence that you have this daughter, and in her participate in something you do not have in yourselves. In marrying you gave up the holy state of virginity, but as a result it has been born again in your child.
The Conclusion of Augustine's Instruction
15, 19. I would not be discussing the relative merits of different wives and widows in what I am writing now, if I were writing it only for you. Since, however, with a subject like this there are some very difficult questions, I have chosen to say something more than is strictly relevant to you, for the sake of certain persons who do not consider themselves learned unless they try, not to discuss the efforts of others objectively, but to tear them apart destructively.
My purpose also is for you not only to maintain the vow that you have made and live it out more perfectly, but also to know in more detail and with greater assurance that the good thing you have is not distinguished from the evil of marriage, but exceeds the excellence of marriage. Do not let yourself be led astray by those who condemn the marriages of women who have been widowed, even though they themselves practice continence with extraordinary fervor, abstaining from many of the things of which you avail yourself. Even though you are unable to do as they do, do not be lured into thinking as they do. No one wants to become insane, even if they see that an insane person has superior strength to that of a sane person. It is especially necessary, therefore, that the good intention be enhanced and fortified by sound doctrine. So it is indeed that even when they have been married several times Catholic women are rightly considered superior, not only to the heretics' widows of one marriage, but even to their virgins. On these three topics, marriage, widowhood and virginity, there is a great complexity of questions and a multiplicity of problems. To discuss them in depth and unravel them, there is need for greater care and further discussion, so that either we will hold right views about them all, or if there is anything astray in our thinking, God will make that known to us too.†26 Nevertheless, as the apostle says a little further on in the same text, Let us continue on from the point we have reached so far (Phil 3:16). As far as concerns the matter under discussion, we have reached the point that we put celibacy ahead of marriage, but holy virginity also ahead of celibacy in widowhood; yet in praising any commitment made by ourselves or our children we do not condemn any marriages, which are truly marriages and not adultery. We have written much on these topics in the book, The Excellence of Marriage, and another book, Holy Virginity, and in a work we wrote, Answer to Faustus, a Manichean.
We did this as thoroughly as possible, because by relentlessly attacking the chaste marriages of the patriarchs and prophets in his writings he wrenched the minds of some unlearned persons away from the sound doctrine of the faith.†27
Widowhood Is a Gift from God
16, 20. In the introduction to this essay I suggested that two things needed to be done, and I promised to do them, one relating to instruction and the other to encouragement.†28 As I have not been remiss, to the best of my ability, in carrying out the first part of that undertaking, let us turn now to encouragement, so that the good that is properly understood will also be ardently loved. With this in mind the first advice I would give is that to whatever extent you are conscious of being attracted to holy celibacy, you should consider that attraction to be a gift from God and give thanks to him for it. He has been so generous to you with the gifts of his Spirit that with his love filling your heart†29 the love of a greater perfection has brought it about that something otherwise lawful is no longer lawful for you. It is his gift to you that you chose not to marry when it was lawful for you to do so, and now it would not be lawful for you even if it were what you wanted. This is why you are more resolute in your desire that what did not occur when it was lawful should not occur now when it is unlawful, and it is why as Christ's widow you have become worthy to see your daughter also Christ's virgin; while you pray like Anna, she has become what Mary was. The more you are aware that these are gifts from God, the more blessed you are in having them; in fact, unless you are aware of who it is who has given you what you have, you are not blessed at all. Hear what the apostle has to say about this: We, however, have not received the spirit of this world, but the spirit which is from God, so that we may know what gifts we have received from God (1 Cor 2:12). Many people indeed have many gifts from God, and with unholy vanity boast about them, because they do not know from whom they have received them. No one is blessed by having God's gifts, if he or she is ungrateful to the giver. In the course of the sacred mysteries we hear the command, "Lift up your hearts," and we are able to do this with the help of him from whose command this exhortation comes. For this reason, what then follows is not a tribute of praise to ourselves for this great benefit of our hearts being lifted up, as though we did it by our own strength, but "Let us give thanks to the Lord our God." We are immediately further encouraged to do this, because "it is proper," and because "it is just."†30 Bear in mind where these words come from, and appreciate the authority and holiness of the instruction they give.
Keep what you have received, therefore, and hold on to it, and give thanks to the one who has given it to you. Even though it is you who receive it and hold on to it, you still have it because you have received it, as is clear from what Truth says, through the apostle, to the proud persons who glory in what they have as though it were their own doing: What do you have that you have not received? If, however, you have received it, why do you exult as though you had not received it? (1 Cor
4:7).
A Warning Against the Opponents of Grace
17, 21. I have been compelled to give these warnings because of the need to guard against and shun the thoughtless chatter of certain persons. I say it tearfully, they are enemies of Christ's grace.†31 They have begun to worm their way into many people's souls by way of their ears, persuading them that there is no apparent need even to pray to the Lord to keep us from entering into temptation. They try to defend free will in mankind by arguing that by it alone, even without the help of God's grace, we are able to carry out whatever God commands. From this it would follow that it was needless for God to say, Watch and pray, that you do not enter into temptation (Mt 26:41), and needless for us to say every day in the Lord's prayer, Lead us not into temptation (Mt 6:13). If it is entirely in our own power not to be overcome by temptation, why do we pray not to enter into it or be led into it? Let us rather do what is a matter for our own free will and absolutely under our own control, and scorn the apostle for saying, God is faithful, and he does not allow you to be tempted beyond your capacity (1 Cor
10:13), and disagree with him and say, "Why would I ask God for what he has put in my own power?" But far be it from any person of sound mind to think this! So let us ask him to give us what he commands us to have. The reason why he commands us to have what we do not yet have is to teach us what to ask for, and when we find we are able to do what he commands, for us to appreciate that even this is something we have been given.†32 Then we will not be swollen and puffed up with the spirit of the world and ignorant of the gifts God has given us.†33 So, when we refuse to be proud and ungrateful and deny God's grace, by which even free will itself is aided, but rather with devout gratitude proclaim it, in no way do we destroy human free will. The willing is ours; but the will itself is instructed so that it will raise itself up, and is healed so that it will have strength, and is enlarged so that it will be receptive, and is filled so that it will possess. If we did not will it, we would neither receive nor possess what we are given. Who would have chastity—to mention among God's other gifts the particular one I am speaking to you about—who, I say, would have chastity unless they willed it? No one would receive that gift if they did not want it. But if you ask whose gift it is that with our will we can accept it and keep it, look in the scripture; or rather, since you already know it, recall what you have read. Since, it says, no one can be chaste unless God grants it, this is itself a sign of wisdom, to know whose gift this is (Wis 8:21).
Those two, wisdom and chastity, are two great gifts. With wisdom we become like God in knowledge, and with chastity we become unlike the world.
God, however, commands us to be both wise and chaste, and without those two qualities we cannot be just and perfect. Let us pray, then, that he, who with his command and invitation has told us what we ought to choose, may with his help and inspiration grant us what he commands. Let us pray, then, that he will protect what he has already given us, and will provide what he has not yet given us. At the same time, let us pray and give thanks for what we have been given, and by the very fact that we are not ungrateful for what we have been given we can have confidence we will be given what we have not yet been given. He, who has granted it to the married faithful that they refrain from adultery and fornication, has granted to virgins and widows that they refrain from all sexual union. Strictly speaking the words "integrity" and "continence" refer to this virtue.†34 Is it perhaps that we receive continence from him, but wisdom comes from ourselves? What then does the apostle James mean when he says, If anyone among you lacks wisdom, let that person ask for it from God, who gives to everyone freely and ungrudgingly, and it will be granted (Jas 1:5)? On this topic, however, with God's help we have already said many things in other brief works of ours, and, as best we can with his help, will say more elsewhere as the occasion arises.†35
Exhortations Are Effective Only by God's Grace
18, 22. I wanted to say something to you on that matter because of certain of our brothers and sisters who are very loving toward us and much loved, and who are not caught in this error with any malice, but who are nonetheless caught in it.†36 They think that when they urge anyone to be just and devout, their urging has no efficacy unless they establish that what one is trying to get people to do is entirely possible for a human being to do by the power of free will alone, without the help of any gift from God (as if the will could be free to perform any good work, if it were not made free as a gift from God). They also overlook that it is even a gift from God that they have that ability to motivate others, to arouse wills that are lethargic to embrace the task of living well, to set fire to those that are cold, to correct those that are perverted, to bring back those that have turned away, to reconcile those that are rebellious.
They have that power of persuading others to take the advice they give. If they do not achieve this effect on the human will, what do they achieve? Why do they talk? They should leave them to decide for themselves. On the other hand, if they do achieve this with them, is it true now that a human being can have such a great effect on the will of another human being by talking, but God achieves nothing by his assistance? On the contrary, a human being may have the greatest power of speech, able by careful argument and pleasant style to plant in the human will the seeds of truth and nourish love, to drive out error by teaching and dispel lethargy by motivating; nevertheless, neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the increase (1 Cor 3:7). The laborer's external toil is all in vain, unless the creator works secretly within. I hope, therefore, that by your good efforts this letter of mine will quickly reach the hands of those people too. That is why I thought some of these things had to be said. At the same time I wanted you and any other widows who read it, or have it read to them, to know that to love and preserve the benefit of being celibate you gain more from your prayers than from any words of encouragement from us. If it is any help to you to have our words at your disposal as well, that is entirely due to the grace of the one in whose hands, as it is written, we and our utterances rest (Wis 7:16).