Marriage and Virginity
saying things they should not (1 Tm 5:13). He had already said about them, But avoid the young widows; for after living a life of pleasure they now want to marry in Christ, although they incur damnation, because they have violated their original pledge (1 Tm 5:11-12); that is to say, they were not faithful to the vow they first made.
Pride Afflicts the Virtuous More Than Sinners
34. He does not say, however, that they "marry," but that they want to marry. Many of them in fact are held back from marrying, not by attachment to a splendid resolution, but by fear of open disgrace. This itself comes from pride, which makes them more afraid of displeasing other people than displeasing God. These women want to marry, but they do not marry because they cannot do so without criticism. They would do better to marry rather than burn, that is, rather than their hearts be laid waste by the hidden flames of desire. They regret the commitment they made and are loath to acknowledge it.
Unless they reform and once again turn to God in their hearts, and once again conquer lust with the fear of God, they must be counted among the dead. They may be living a life of pleasure, which is why the apostle says, She who lives a life of pleasure is dead while still alive (1 Tm 5:6); or, without any change for the better in their hearts, they may be living a life of needless labor and fasting, directed more to show than to reform. It is not my task to inculcate great concern for humility in women like that. In them pride itself is in disarray, splattered with the blood of the wounds of conscience. Nor is it my task to demand this great concern for holy humility from those who are drunkards or avaricious or afflicted by any other kind of deadly infection, since these profess chastity but then indulge in perverted practices completely out of tune with that calling; I address myself to them, only if they boldly parade these evils, not satisfied that their punishment has only been postponed. I am not dealing either with those who have a particular desire to please others, either by wearing clothes too elegant for their lofty calling or by dressing their hair in outlandish styles, whether with towering ornamentation or with veils so delicate that the hair bands†36 beneath are visible. These women do not need to be instructed about humility, but about chastity and modesty. Consider the woman who professes perpetual chastity and has none of these or any similar sins or moral defects. It is for her that I fear pride; it is for that great gift in her that I fear the cancer of self-satisfaction. The more she has reason to be pleased with herself, the more I am apprehensive that by being pleased with herself she will be displeasing to him who resists the proud and gives his grace to the humble (Jas 4:6).
Christ Is the Prime Example of Humility
35, 35. For the main source of instruction and example of humility we must certainly look to Christ himself. What more can I demand from virgins in the way of humility over and above what he commanded, he who said to everyone, Learn of me for I am meek and humble of heart (Mt 11:29)? After first reminding them of his greatness, as he wanted to show how much he had lowered himself for our sake, he said: I acclaim you, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and prudent, and have revealed them to the lowly. Yes, Father, because that is how you wanted it to be. Everything has been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father; and no one knows the Father except the Son, and those to whom the Son reveals him. Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will refresh you. Put on my yoke and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble of heart (Mt 11:25-29). Although the Father had handed everything over to him, and no one knows him except the Father, and no one knows the Father except him and those to whom he chooses to reveal him, he does not say, "Learn from me how to create the world and raise the dead to life," but because I am gentle and humble of heart. O doctrine of salvation! O Lord and Master of the mortal creatures who taste and drink death from the cup of pride! He would not teach us to be anything that he himself was not; he would not command us to do anything that he himself did not do. Good Jesus, with the eyes of faith that you have opened for me I see you as crying out in an assembly of the whole human race and saying, Come to me and learn from me. O Son of God, through whom all things were made, O Son of Man,†37 who yourself became one of those created objects, what, I implore you, what is it that we come to you to learn from you? Because I am gentle and humble of heart (Mt 11:28), he says. Do all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge hidden in you (Col 2:3) reduce to this, that the great thing we should learn from you is that you are gentle and humble of heart? Is it that the greatness of being lowly is such that it would be entirely impossible for us to learn it unless you, who are so great, did it yourself? Yes,