3. Inquire about the person's attitudes toward sex. How he or she feels about it will explain his or her sexual behavior. What were the contributing causes of getting involved? Does he or she feel guilty about this involvement and regard it as sin?
4. Ask if you may read portions of God's Word about premarital or extramarital sex. Emphasize that the Bible is a trustworthy source in regard to moral issues. Read some or all of the following Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 6:13, 15–20; Acts 15:20; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; Exodus 20:14.
5. In the light of Scripture, the caller's immoral acts are displeasing to God. To please God, he or she must repent of all immorality and renounce it (read 1 Corinthians 6:9–11). God condemns immoral behavior, but loves us and will forgive us if we confess our sin and, by faith, receive Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Share "Steps to Peace with God," page 11.
6. Emphasize the importance of severing any relationships which may have contributed to the immoral behavior: "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character'" (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV). The best place to form new friendships is in a Bible-teaching church. Recommend finding one and becoming involved. Being a committed Christian should be the person's goal. The lack of a vital relationship with Christ is a primary contributing factor to an immoral lifestyle.
7. Suggest seeking a pastor's encouragement and counseling. He or she may need serious counseling for a period of time to experience freedom from temptation and to begin to walk with the Lord.
8. Pray with the inquirer for a complete refocus of mind and life, to the glory of God.
If the inquirer is a Christian, share the section on "Restoration," page 17. Encourage reading and studying God's Word for the purpose of remolding his or her mind and life. As a Christian, he or she should become involved in a Bible-teaching church, where energies can be turned toward serving Christ.
Scripture
"Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; put away the evil of your doings from before My eyes. Cease to do evil. . . . Come now, and let us reason together," says the Lord, "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool" (Isaiah 1:16, 18).
"Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let
him return to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon" (Isaiah 55:7).
"But sexual sin is never right: our bodies were not made for that, but for the Lord, and the Lord wants to fill our bodies with himself" (1 Corinthians 6:13, TLB).
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. . . . And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous" (1 John 1:9; 2:1).
SUFFERING AND ADVERSITY
Background
Why? Why me? Why my family? What is the meaning of this suffering?
These are familiar questions asked by Christians and non-Christians alike. No one is immune to suffering and adversity: "Man is born to trouble, as the sparks fly upward" (Job 5:7). There are the pressures of want, need, sorrow, persecution, unpopularity, and loneliness. Some suffer for what they have done; others suffer because of what people do to them. Many suffer because they are victims of circumstances they cannot control.
Pain is distressing. There can be nights of agony when God seems so unfair and it seems that there is no possible help or answer. Temporary relief may seem adequate, but the real solution to suffering is not to isolate it and try to do away with it, nor even to grit our teeth and endure it. The solution, rather, is to condition our attitudes so that we learn to triumph in and through suffering. When the apostle Paul sought relief from his "thorn in the flesh" (2 Corinthians 12:7), God did not take it away, but reassured him that, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness" (verse 9).
Except for physical pain, handling suffering seems to be a question of attitude: "What am I going to do in the face of suffering in order to learn from it and use it for my advantage as far as God's eternal purposes are concerned?"
Billy Graham comments: "Nowhere does the Bible teach that Christians are exempt from the tribulations and natural disasters that come upon the world. Scripture does teach that the Christian can face tribulation, crisis, calamity, and personal suffering with a supernatural power that is not available to the person outside of Christ."
Some of the most pathetic people in the world are those who, amid adversity, indulge themselves by wallowing in self-pity and bitterness, all the while taking a sort of delight in blaming God for their problems.
Job's attitude is an inspiration: "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him" (Job 13:15).
The sufferer will be blessed if, amid great agony and despair, he or she can look into the face of the Heavenly Father and, because of His eternal love and presence, be grateful. Our response to suffering should be to look beyond it and see God's higher purposes and what He wants to teach us.
Reasons for Human Suffering
• We may bring suffering upon ourselves. Dissipation and lack of discipline bring unhappy consequences. Long-term abuse of our bodies may bring on sickness. Wrong choices come back to haunt us. You may ask the inquirer: "Do you think this is happening to you because of your own bad judgment or excessive actions? What can you do to alleviate your suffering?"
• Sometimes God is taking corrective action because of sin and disobedience. God will correct and discipline His own. Through chastening He proves that He loves us and that we truly belong to Him (Hebrews 12:5–11).
• God may permit suffering so that we learn to respond to problems in a biblical way. Scripture tells us that Jesus "learned obedience by the things which He suffered" (Hebrews 5:8). Our goal should be not merely relief from suffering but rather learning from it (Romans 12:1–2).
• Sometimes God permits us to suffer simply to teach us that pain is a part of life. Nowhere does the Bible say that the Christian will not suffer adversity! Paul points out that it is "granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake" (Philippians 1:29).
Adversity can be a gift from God. Christ did not try to escape the cross. Hebrews 12:2 says He "endured the cross, despising the shame." Why? "For the joy that was set before Him." Jesus knew that the final word was not crucifixion (suffering) but resurrection (victory). We may suffer briefly, or all our lives. But let us not give up hope or engage in self-pity or bitterness. The end result is what we all look forward to: Being with the Lord in heaven will put everything into perspective!
• God may permit suffering for our well-being: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28, NIV). We must accept this by faith and pray that God's highest good will come as a result of our suffering. Some of the deeper lessons of life are learned only through adversity. We must trust God to work out His own will and purpose in us so that we might be more Christlike (Romans 8:29). There is no redemptive merit in our suffering, as there was in that of Jesus; but if we are faithful under adversity we may be able to share in "the fellowship of His sufferings" (Philippians 3:10).
• Sometimes God permits suffering in order to speak through our life