God's Word says, "Put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language" (Colossians 3:8).
Helping Strategy
1. As your inquirer reveals the problem, remain neutral. Assure him or her that God's Word has the solution to any problem.
2. Assure yourself that you are speaking with someone who has truly received Christ. If this is not the case, then share "Steps to Peace with God," page 11.
3. If your inquirer has not yet realized that he or she has a problem with bitterness and resentment, or if he or she is aware of it and sincerely wants to find a solution, make sure he or she understands that bitterness is sin. To ignore this will prevent any real solution.
4. Repentance and confession will result in forgiveness and restoration to fellowship with God. Share "Restoration," page 17, emphasizing 1 John 1:9. Pray together, asking the inquirer to privately confess to God all known bitterness and resentment.
5. If the above is accomplished, then steps toward reconciliation are in order, especially if there has been accusation, recrimination, criticism, and a rupture in a relationship. Victory comes when matters are solved on both the vertical and horizontal planes. The prize is a "conscience without offense toward God and men" (Acts 24:16).
It is not necessary to make a public issue of it, but Jesus said, "First be reconciled to your brother" (Matthew 5:24).
The apostle Paul advised, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. . . . 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:18, 20-21, NIV). If there is reconciliation, God will be pleased and both parties will be spiritually healed. If, on the other hand, nothing positive happens, the inquirer will have done all God requires. He or she has been obedient and can live with a clear conscience.
6. Urge your inquirer to pray to be filled with love for the other person, whether or not reconciliation occurs: "Love . . . keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil" (1 Corinthians 13:4–6, NIV).
7. If the bitterness and resentment are of long standing, and the inquirer stubbornly maintains the correctness of his or her position, share Paul's admonition: "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and