Cliff Barrows often gives a message to Christian couples which he calls, "Ten Words that Will Safeguard a Marriage." They are:
I was wrong. Forgive me.
I'm sorry. I love you.
This same formula will work to safeguard one's spiritual life as well. Couples need to learn to clean up issues as soon as they develop and to erase the slate every day. See Ephesians 4:26.
• Spiritual unity. Understanding the spiritual dimension in marriage has profound implications. Paul compared marriage—the union of husband and wife—to the eternal relationship between Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:22–33).
Billy Graham writes: "The perfect marriage is a uniting of three persons—a man, a woman, and God! That is what makes marriage holy. Faith in Christ is the most important of all principles in the building of a happy marriage and a happy home."
Helping Strategy
1. Be supportive and encouraging. Listen carefully, with understanding. Don't judge. Don't take sides. Sometimes the inquirer is at fault.
2. Try to discover the reasons for the disagreements and problems. Ask questions, if necessary. Does the inquirer feel that he or she has any responsibility in any of the negative developments? Ask how the inquirer would rate the marriage in the light of the "Background." How has he or she fallen short? What might be done to improve the relationship? In humility, the caller could ask forgiveness for insensitivities, hurts, and offenses. It may take time, but it is worth the effort.
3. Ask if God has ever been brought into their life and marriage. Share "Steps to Peace with God," page 11.
4. Where does the individual go from here? Share follow-up steps:
A. Get into the Bible—reading, studying, and applying it to his or her
life and marriage.
B. Learn to pray daily. Pray for each other. Pray about existing or
potential problem areas: "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7, NIV). Better attitudes lead to a deeper sensitivity as to the needs of one's mate, producing better