His Return to Susquahannah, and Last Illness (part 2 of 3)

“PART VEIL} DAVID BRAINERD. 173

mind, the four next days. As ‘to his services among the Indians, and his success in this time, see the public J ournal.}

Saturday, February 1, Towards night, enjoyed some of the clearest thoughts on 1 Cor. xv. 13—16, that ever I remember to have had upon any subject whatsoever, and spent two or three hours in writing them. I was refreshed with this intenseness. My mind was so engaged in these medi- ' tations that I could scarcely turn it to any thing else; and indeed I could not be willing to part with so delightful. an

_, entertainment,

Lord’s day, Feb. 2. After public worship, my badily strength being much spent, my spirits sunk amazingly; and especially on hearing that | was so generally taken to bea Roman Catholic, sent by the Papists to draw the Indians into an insurrection against the English, that some were in fear of me, and others were for having me taken up by authority and punished. Alas, what will not Satan do to bring aslur and disgrace on the work of God. Oh how holy and circumspect had I need to be! Through divine goodness, I have been enabled to “mind my own business,” in these parts, as well as elsewhere; and to let all men, and all denominations of men alone, as to their party-notions; and only pteached the plain and necessary truths of Christianity, neither inviting to nor excluding from my meeting any persons of any persuasion whatever. Towards night, the Lord gave. me freedom at the throne of grace, in my first prayer before my catechetical lecture; and in opening the xlvith Psalm to my people, my soul confided in God, although the wicked world should slander and persecute me, or even condemn and execute me as a traitor to my king and country. Truly God is a “ present help in time of trouble.” In the evening, my soul was in measure comforted, having some hope that one poor soul was brought home to God this day. Oh that I could fill up every moment of time, during my abode here below, in the service of my God and King.

Monday, Feb. 3. My spirits were still much sunk with what I heard the day before, of my being suspected to be engaged in the Pretender’s interest. It grieved me, that after there had been so much-evidence of a glorious work of grade among these poor Indians, as that the most carnal men could

not but. take notice of the great change made among them,

t..

174 THE LIFE OF [parr vin.

so many poor souls should still suspect the whole to be only a Popisk plotz-and so cast an awful reproach on this blessed work of the holy Spirit, and at the same time wholly exclude themselves from receiving any benefit by this divine influe ence. This put me upon searching whether I had ever dropped any thing inadvertently, that might give occasion to any to suspect that 1 was stirring up the Indians against the English; and could think of nothing, unless it was my attempting sometimes to vindicate the rights of the Indians, and complaining of the horrid practice of making the Indians drank, and then cheating them out of their lands and other properties. Once, I remembered, I had done this with too much warmth of spirit, and it greatly distressed me; thinke ing that this might possibly prejudice them against this work of grace, to their everlasting destruction. God, I believe, did me good by this trial; which served to humble me, and shew me the necessity of watchfulness, and of being “ wise as a serpent,” as well as “harmless as a dove.” This exercise led me often to the throne of grace; and there I found some support, though I could not get the burden wholly removed. Was assisted in prayer, especially in the evening.

[He was still exercised in mind about this affair, which. caused him to reflect upon and humble himself and frequent the throne of grace; but soon found himself much more relieved and supported. He was this week in an extremely weak state, and obliged, as he expresses it, “ to consume considerable time in diversions for his health.”

The Monday after, he set out on a journey to the Forks of Delaware, to visit the Indians there. He performed the journey under great weakness, and sometimes was exercised with much pain; but says nothing of dejection and melancholy. He.arrived at his own house at the Forks on Friday. © During the week he felt composure of mind, thankfulness to God for his mercies to him and others, resignation to the divine wall, comfort in prayer and religious conversation; his heart drawn out after God, and affected with a sense o§This own barrenness, as well as the fulness and freeness of divine grace. J

Lord's day, Fgb. 16. In the evening, was in a composed frame of mind. -It was refreshing and comfortable to think that God had been with me, affording some good measure uf assistance. I then found freedom and sweetness in prayer

and thanksgiving; my soul was sweetly engaged and en-

larged in prayer for dear friends and acquaintance. Blessed - be the name of the Lord, that ever I am enabled to do any

thing for his interest and kingdom. Blessed be God who

enables me to be faithful. Enjoyed more resolution and

courage for God, and more refreshment of spirit, than I have

been favoured with for many weeks past.

Monday, Feb. 17. 1 was refreshed and encouraged: found a spirit of prayer in the evening, and earnest longings for the illumination and conversion of these poor Indians.

Wednesday, Feb. 19. My heart was comforted and Tee freshed, and filled with longings for the conversion of the Indians here.

Thursday, Feb. 20. God was pleased to support and refresh my spirits, by affording me assistance this day, and so hopeful a prospect of success. I returned home rejoicing, and blessing the name of the Lord. Found freedom afterwards in secret prayer, and had my soul drawn out for dear friends. How blessed it is to labour for God faithfully, and with the hope of success. Blessed be the Lord for ever and ever, for the assistance and comfort granted me this day.

Friday, Feb. 21. My soul was refreshed and comforted, and I could not but bless God, who had enabled me in some good measure to be faithful in the day past. How pleasant: itis to be spent and worn out for God,

Saturday, Feb. 22. My spirits were much supported, though my bodily strength was much wasted. Oh that God would be gracious to the souls of these poor Indians! He has been very gracious to me this week, in enabling me to preach every day; and has given me some assistance, and encouraging prospect of success in almost every sermon. Blessed be his name. Divers of the white people have been awakened this week, and several of the Indians much cured of the prejudices and jealousies they had conceived against.

Chagpianity, and some seem to be really awakened.

[The next day he left the Forks of Delaware, to return to Crosweeksung, and spent the whole week till Saturday, before he arrived there. He preached by the way every day, excepting one, and was several times greatly assisted; had 176 THE LIFE OF [PART vir.

much inward comfort, and earnest Jongings to fill up all his time in the service of God. He utters such expressions as these, after preaching: “ Oh that I may be enabled to plead the cause of God faithfully, to my dying moment! Oh how Sweet it would be to spend myself wholly for God, and in his cause, and to be. freed from selfish motives in my labours f”

For Saturday and Lord’s day, March }, 2, see the publi¢e Journal. The four next days were spent in great bodily weakness; but he speaks of some seasons of considerable i inward comfort.]

Thursday, March 6. I walked alone in the evening, and-. found freedom and comfort in prayer, beyond what | have of late enjoyed. My soul rejoiced in my pilgrimage state, and was delighted with the thoughts of labouring and enduring hardness for Christ; felt some longing desires to preach the gospel to immortal souls, and confided in God, that he would be with me in my work, and that he would never leave nor forsake me, to the end of.my race. Ob, that I may obtain mercy of God to be faithful, to my dying moment!

Friday, March 7. In the afternoon, went on in my work with freedom and cheerfulness, God assisting me; and enjoyed comfort in the evening.

Monday, March 10. My soul was refreshed and enlarged, and had I hope the lively exercise of faith in secret prayer this night. My will was sweetly resigned to the divine will, and my hopes respecting the enlargement of the kingdom of Christ somewhat raised. I could commit Zion’s cause to God as his own.

[On Tuesday he found a degree of spirituality in Christian conversation. On Wednesday, complains that he enjoyed not much comfort and satisfaction through the day, because he did but little for God. On Thursday, spent considerable time in company, on a special occasion; but in perplexity, for want of savoury religious conversation.

In the former part of the week following he was very il}, ’ and under great dejection; being, as he apprehended rendered unserviceable by his illness, and fearing that he should never be serviceable any more; he therefore longed for death. He was afterwards encouraged, and life appeared more desirable; because, as he says, he “hada little dawn of hope that he might be useful in the world.” In the latter part of the week he was in some measure relieved of his illness, in the use of means prescribed by a physician.]

Monday, March 24. After the Indians were gone to their work, to clear their lands, I got alone, and poured out my soul to God, that he would smile upon these feeble beginnings, and that he would settle an Indian town that might be “a mountain of holiness.” My soul was much refreshed in these petitions, and much enlarged for Zion’s interest, and for numbers of dear friends in particular. My sinking spirits were revived and raised, and | felt animated in the service God has called me to. This was the happiest hour I have enjoyed for many days, if not weeks: I found an encouraging hope that something would be done for God, and that he would use and help me in his work. And oh, how sweet were the thoughts of labouring for God, when I felt any spirit and courage, and had any hope that ever I should be succeeded!

“{The next day his Schoolmaster was taken ill of a pleurisy, and he spent great part of the remainder of this week in tending him. In his weak state this was almost too much for him, being obliged constantly to wait upon him from day to day, and to lie on the floor at night. His spirits sunk in a considerable degree, with his bodily strength under this burden.]

Monday, March 31. Towards night, enjoyed some sweet meditations on those words: “It is good for me to draw “near to God.” My soul, [ think, had some sweet sense ofwhat is intended in those words.

{The next day he was extremely busy in tending the Schoolmaster, and in some other necessary affairs, that greatly diverted him from what he looked upon as his proper business: yet he speaks of comfort and refreshment in some

parts of the day.]

Wednesday, April 2. Was somewhat exercised with a spititless frame of mind. Was a little relieved and refreshed in the evening, with meditation alone i in the woods: But alas, my days pass away as the chaff; it’ is but little I do or can do, that turns to any account, and it is my constant misery

N 178 THE LIFE OF: (PART Viti

and burden that [ am so fruitless in the vineyard of the Lord.. Oh that I were spirit, that I might be active for God. This I think more than any thing else, makes me long that “ this corruptible might put on incorruption, and this mortal put on immortality.”. God deliver me from clogs, fetters, and a body of death, that impede my service for him.

Friday, April 4. Spent most of the day in writing on Rev, xxii. 17.“ And whosoever will,” c. Enjoyed some freedom and encouragement in my work, and some comfort and composure in prayer.

Saturday, April 5. After public worship, a number of my dear Christian Indians came to my house; with whom I felt a sweet union of soul. My heart was knit to them; and 1 cannot say that I have felt such a fervent “ love to the brethren” for some time past. I also saw in them appearances of the same love. This gave me something of a view of the heavenly state; and particularly that part of the happiness of heaven, which consists in the communion of saints. This was affecting to me.

' [On Tuesday he went to a meeting of the Presbytery, appointed at Elisabeth-Town. In his way thither he enjoyed some sweet meditations; but after he came there, he was under an awful gloom which oppressed his mind. This continued till Saturday evening, when he began to have some relief and encouragement. He spent the Sabbath at Staten- Island, where he preached to an assembly of Dutch and English, and enjoyed considerable refreshment and comfort, both in public and private. In the evening he returned to Elisabeth-Town. ],

Monday, April 14. My spirits this day were raised and refreshed, and my mind composed, so that 1 was in a-comfortable frame most of the day. In the evening my head was clear, my mind serene; I enjoyed sweetness in secret prayer, and meditation on Psal. Ixxiii. 28... Oh how free, how chearful and yet solemn do | feel, when in a good measure freed from those damps and melancholy glooms, that I often labour under! And blessed be the Lord, I find myself relieved in this respect.

Tuesday, April 15. My soul longed for more spirituality, and it. was. my. burden that I could do no more for God. MG barrenness is my daily affliction and heavy load. Oh how precious is time; and how it paitis me to see it slide away, while I doso very little to any good purpose. Oh that God would make me more fruitful aad spiritual.

Thursday, April 17. - Enjoyed some comfort in prayer, some freedom in meditation, and composure in my studies. Spent time in writing, in the forenoon. In the afternoon, engaged in conversation with several dear ministers. In the evening, preached from Psal. Ixxiii. 28. “ But itis good for me to draw near to God.” God helped me to feel the truth of my text, both in the first prayer and in sermon. I was enabled to\pour ont my soul with great freedom.and affection; and blessed be the Lord, it was a comfortable season tome. I was enabled to speak with tenderness, and yet with faithfulness; and divine truths seemed to fall with weight and influence upon the -hearers. My heart was melted for the whole assembly,, and I loved every one in it. My soul cried, “Qh that these dear people might be saved; oh that God would have mercy on them!

Lord's day, April g0.* Enjoyed some freedom, and I hope exercise of faith in prayer, in the morning; especially when 1 came to pray for Zion. I was free from that gloomy discouragement which so often oppresses me; my soul rejoiced in the hopes of Zion’s prosperity, and the enlargement of the kingdom of the great Redeemer. Oh that his kingdom might come.

Monday, April 21. Was composed and comfortable most of the day, and mercifully freed from gloomy apprehensions. Had freedom and comfort in prayer several times, and especially some rising hopes of Zion’s enlargement and prosperity. Oh how refreshing were these hopes to my soul! Oh that the kingdom of the Lord might come, and that the poor Indians might quickly be gathered in, in great numbers!

Tuesday, April 22. My mind was remarkably free this day from melancholy, and animated in my work. I found such fresh vigour and resolution in the service of God, that the mountains seemed to become a plain before me. Blessed be God for an interval of refreshment, and fervent resolution in my Lord’s work! In the evening I was refreshed in secret prayer, and my heart drawn out for divine blessings; espe- | cially for the church of God, and- his interest among my own people, and for dear friend’ in remote places. Oh that Zion might prosper, and precious souls be brought home to God!

* This day pe entered into the 49th year of his age. N 2

180, THE LIFE OF [PART VIL.

[In this comfortable fervent frame of mind he remained

’ the two next days. On the following Tuesday he went to

Elisabeth-Town, to attend the meeting of the Presbytery

there; and seemed to spend the time, while absent from. his

people on this occasion, in a free and comfortable state of mind.]

Saturday, May 3. Rode from Elisabeth-Town home to my people, at or near Cranberry; whither they are now removed, and where I hope:God will settle them as a Christian con- _gregation. Was refreshed in lifting up my heart to God, while riding; and enjoyed a, thankful frame of spirit, for divine favours received the week past. Was somewhat uneasy and dejected in the evening, having no house of my own to go into in this place, but God' was my support.

_ Tuesday, May 6. Enjoyed some spirit afd courage in my ‘work; was in a good measure free from melancholy. Blessed be God for freedom from this death. ..

Wednesday, May 7, Spent most of the day in writing, as usual, Enjoyed freedom in my work, and was favoured with ‘some comfortable meditations this day. In the evening, was in a composed frame of mind; pleased and delighted to leave all with God, respecting myself, for time and eternity, and respecting the people of my charge, and dear friends. Had no doubt but that God would take care of me, and of ‘his own interest among my people; and‘ was,enabled to use freedom in prayer, as a child with a tender father. Oh how sweet is such a frame! -

Thursday, May 8. In the evening, was somewhat refreshed with divine things, and enjoyed a tender melting frame in secret prayer. My soul was drawn out for the interest of Zion, and comforted with the lively hope of the appearing of the kingdom of the great Redeemer. These were sweet moments: [ felt almost loth ‘to go to bed, and grieved that sleep was necessary. However, I lay down with a tender reverential fear of God, sensible that “ his favour is life,” and his smiles better than all that earth can give, infi-

‘nitely better than life itself.

Saturday, May 10. Rode tg Allen’ =-Town, to assist in © the administration of the Lord’s supper. In the afternoon;, preached trom Tit. ii. 14. “ Who gave himself for us,” Sc... God was pleased to carry me through with some competency:

RPE

of freedom, and yet to deny me that enlargement and power Honged for. In the-evening my soul mourned, and could

not but mourn, that I had treated so excellent a subject inso

defective a manner, that I had borne so broken a testimony for so worthy and glorious a Redeemer. .And if my discourse had met with the utmost applause from all the world, (as [

' accidently heard it applauded by some:persons of judgment)

it would not have given me any satisfaction. It grieved me

.to think, that I had had no more holy warmth and fervency,

that I had been no more melted in discoursing of Christ’s death, and the end and design of it. Afterwards, enjoyed some freedom and fervency in secret and family prayer, and longed much for thé presence of God to attend his word and ordinances the next day.'

Lord’s day, May 11. Assisted in the administration of the Lord’s supper, but! enjoyed little enlargement; was grieved and sunk with some things I thought undesirable. In the afternoon, went to the house of God weak and sick in soul, as well as feeble in body. 1 longed that the people might be entertained and edified with divine truths, and that an honest fervent testimony might be borne for God; but knew not how it was possible for me to do any thing of that kind, to any good purpose. Yet God, who is rich in mercy, was pleased to give me assistance, both i in prayer and preaching. He helped me to wrestle for his presence in prayer, and to tell him that he had promised, “ Where two or three are met together in his name, there he would be in the midstsof them ;” and that we were, at least some of us, so met. I therefore pleaded, that for his truth’s sake he would be with us; and blessed be his name, it was sweet thus to plead, and rely upon the promises. Discoursed from Luke ix. 30, 31, “ And behold, there talked with him two men, which were Moses and Elias; who appeared in glory, and spake of his decease, which he should accomplish at Jerusalem.” En- Joyed special freedom, from the beginning to the end of my discourse, without interruption. Things pertinent to the. subject were abundantly presented to my view, and such d fulness of matter, that I scarcely knew how to dismiss the various heads and particulars I had occasion to’touch upon, Blessed be the Lord, I was favoured with some fervency and power, as well as freedom’; so that the word seemed ta awaken the attention of a stupid audience, t to a considerable

‘ N 3

a 182 THE LIFE OF (PART vir.

degree. I was inwardly refreshed with the consolations of God, and could with my whole heart say, “ Though there be no fruit in the vine, yet will I rejoice in the Lord.” - After public service, was refreshed with the conversation of some Christian friends. Friday, May 16. Near night, enjoyed some agreeable and edifying conversation with a dear minister, which f ‘trust was blessed to me. My heart was warmed, and engaged to live to God, so that I longed to exert myself with ‘more vigour than ever I had done. Those words quickened | me: “ Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bring forth much unit.” My soul longed and prayed, to be enabled to live to God with the utmost constancy and ardour. In the evening ' God .was pleased to shine upon me in secret prayer, and draw out my soul after himself. I had freedom in supplication for myself, but much more in intercession for others; so that I was sweetly constrained to say,- Lord, use me as thou wilt; do as thou wilt with me; but oh, promote thine own cause! Zion is thine; oh.visit thine heritage! _ Let thy kingdom come; oh let thy blessed interest be advanced in the world! When I attempted to look to God, respecting my worldly circumstances, and his providential dealings with me, in regard to settling with my congregation, which seems to be necessary, and yet very difficult, and contrary to my fixed intention for years past, as well as my disposition, which has been and still is, at times especially, to go forth and spend my life in preaching the gospel from place to place, and gathering souls afar off to Jesus the great Redeemer; when I attempted to look to God with regard to these things, and his designs concerning me, I could only say, “ The will

of the Lord be done:” it'is no matter forme. The same *

frame of mind I felt with respect to another important affair, I have lately reflected on, and could say with the utmost calmness and composure, Lord, if it be most for thy glory, let me proceed in it; but if thou seest that it will in any wise hinder my usefalness i in thy cause, oh prevent my proceeding. All I want respecting-this life is, such circumstances as may best, capacitate me to do service for God in the world.—Blessed be his name, I enjoyed liberty in prayer for my dear flock, and was enabled to pour out my soul into the bosom of a tender Father. My hart within me was melted when I came to plead for my dear people, and for the kingdom of Christ in Feneral. How sweet was this evening tomy soul! 1 knew not how to go to bed; and when got to bed, longed for some way to improve time for God, to some excellent purpose.. Bless the Lord, oh my soul.

Saturday, May 17. Walked out in the morning, and felt much of the same frame I enjoyed the evening before. Had my heart enlarged in preying for the advancement of the kingdom of Christ, and found the utmost freedom in leaving all my concerns with God. I find discouragement to be a great hindrance to spiritual fervency and affection; but when God enables me sensibly to find that I have done something for him, this refreshes and animates me, so that I could ~ break through all hardships, undergo any labours, and nothing seems too much either to do or to suffer. But oh what a death it is, to strive, and strive; to be always in a hurry, and yet do nothing, er at least nothing forGop!. Alas alas, that time flies away, and I do so litle for God!

Lord’s day, May 18. I felt my own utter insufficiency for my work: God made me to see that I was a child, yea, that I was foolish. 1 discoursed both parts of the day, from Rev. iii. 20. ‘‘ Behold, I stand at the door and knock.” God gaye me freedom and power in. the latter part of my fore-

. noon’s discourse; although, in the former part of it, I felt

peevish and provoked with the unmannerly behaviour of the white people, who crouded in between my people and me; which proved a great tempfation to me. Blessed be God, I got these shackles off before the middle of my discourse, and

‘was favoured with a sweet frame of spirit in the latter par,of

the exercise; was full of lave,. ‘warmth and: tenderness, ‘in addressing my dear people. | ‘In the interval I gould not but’ discourse to my people on "whe. kindness and patience of © Christ in “ standing and knookipg-at ‘the door,” &c. In the evening I was grieved that { had doné <0 little for God:: oh that I could be “a flame of fire” in his service. Thursday, May 22. In the evening, was in a frame some-

“what remarkable. I had apprehended for several days be» ‘fore, that it was the design of providence I should settle,

among .my people here, and had in my own mind begun to

make provision for it, and to contrive means to hasten it.

I also found my heart engaged in it, hoping 1 ipight then

enjoy more agreeable circumstances of life, in several res-

pects; and yet was never fully determined, Hever quite N-4 pleased with the thoughts of being settled and confined to one place., Nevertheless it.now appeared more desirable, because the congregation I thought of settling with, was one that God had enabled me to gather from amongst Pagans. For I never since I began to preach, could feel satisfied to “ enter into other men’s labours,” and settle down in the ministry where the “ gospel was preached before.” I could not make that appear to be my province. When I felt any disposition to consult my ease and worldly comfort, God has never suffered me to feel happy, either before or since | began to preach. But God having succeeded my labours, and made me instrumental in gathering a church for him among the Indians, I was ready to think, it might be his design to give me a quiet settlement and 4 stated home of my own. And considering the late frequent sinking-and failure of my spirits, the need I had of some agreeable society, and my great desire of enjoying conveniences and opportunities for profitable studies, this was not altogether disagreeable to me, although I still wanted to go about far and wide, in order to spread the blessed. gospel among benighted: Heathen. For more than five years past however, I had, not been so willing to settle in any one place, as Iwas in the foregoing part of this week. But now these: thoughts seemed to be wholly dashed to pieces; hot by necessity, but of choice; for it appeared to me that God’s dealings towards me had fitted me for a life of solitariness and hardship. It appeared also that Thad nething to lose, nothing to do with earth, and conse, quently nothing to lose by a total renunciation of it; it. was therefore right that I should be destitute af house and home, and many comforte ef life, which, 1 rejoiced to see - others of God’s people enjoy. At the same time | saw so much of the excellen¢y of Christ’s kingdom, and the infinite desirableness of its advancement in the world, that it swallowed up all my other*thoughts; and made me willing, yea, even rejoice, to be made a pilgrim or hermit in the wilderness, to my dying moment, if | might thereby promote the blessed interest of the great Redeemer. And if ever my soul presented itself to God for his service, without any reserve of any kind, it did so now.. The language of my thoughts and disposition (although I spake no words) now were,‘ Here Iam, Lord, send me; send me to the ends of the earth; send me to the rough, the savage Pagans of the. wilderness; send me from all that is called comfort on earth; send me even to death itself, if it be but in thy service, and _ to promote thy kingdom.’ At the same time I had as quick and lively a sense of the value of worldly comforts as ever I had; but saw them infinitely overmatched by the worth of Christ’ s kingdom, and the propagation of his blessed gospel. The quiet settlement, the certain place of-abode, the tender friendship, which I thought I might be likely to enjoy in consequence of such circumstances, appeared as valuable to me, considered absolutely and in themselves, as ever before ;. but considered comparatively, they appeared nothing; compared with the value and preciousness of an enlargement of Chgst’s kingdom, they vanished like the stars before the rising sun. And sure 1 -am, that although the comfortable accommodations of life appeared valuable and dear to me, yet 1 did surrender and resign myself, soul and body, to the service of God, and the promeation of Christ’s kingdom, though it should be in the loss of them all. And I could not do any other, because I could ‘not will or chuse any other. ’ I was constrained, and yet chose to say, ‘ Farewell, friends and earthly comforts, the dearest of them all, the very dearest, if the Lord calls for it; adieu, adieu; I’ll spend my life to my latest moments, in caves and dens of the earth, if the kingdom of Christ may thereby be advanced.’ I found extraordinary freedom at this time in pouring out my soul to God for his cause, and especially that his kingdom might be extended among the Indians far remote; and I had great hope that God-would do it. I continued wrestling with God in prayer for my dear little flock here, and for the Indians elsewhere; "% as well as for dear friends in one place and another, till it was ‘bed-time, and I feared I should hinder the family. But ob, with what reluctancy did I find myself obliged to consume time in sleep! I longed to be as a flame of fire, contidually glowing in the divine service, preaching and building up Christ’s kingdom, to my latest moments. Friday, May 23. In the morning, was in the same frame of mind as the evening before. The glory of Christ’s kingdom so much outshone the pleasure of earthly accommodations and enjoyments, that they appeared comparatively nothing, though in themselves good and desirable. My soul was melted in secret meditation and prayer, and I found he