Rise and Progress of a Remarkable Work of Grace among the Indians in New Jersey and Pennsylvania (Brainerd's Journal) (part 4 of 6)
DIVINE GRACE DISPLAYED;
OR, The Continuance and Progress OF A Remarkable tvork of grace among some of the Jnvdians belonging ro the Provinces of Mew-Jersey and Pensplvania,
Justly represented in a
; JOURNAL,
KEPT BY ORDER OF THE HONOURABLE SOCIETY IN SCOTLAND FOR PROPAGATING CHRISTIAN KNOWLEDGE; With some general Remarks,
TO WHICH I8 SUBJOINED, AN APPENDIX CONTAINING SOME ACCOUNT OF THE DIFFICULTIES ATTENDING THE WORK OF A MISSIONARY AMONG THE INDIANS,
Minister of the Gospel, and Mission#ty from the said@:Society.
<a oe
Crosweeksung in New-Jersey, 1745.
Lorvp’s day, November 24. Preached both parts of the day from the story of Zaccheus, Luke xix. 1—9. In the latter exercise, when I opened and insisted upon the salvation that comes to the sinner, upon his becoming a son of Abraham, or a true believer, the word seemed to be attended with divine power to the hearts of the hearers. Numbers were much affected, former convictions were revived, one or two persons newly awakened, and a most affectionate engagement in divine service appeared among them universally.
These impressions appeared to be the genuine effect of God’s word brought home to their hearts, by the power and influence of the divine Spirit.
Nov. 26. After spending some time in private conferences with my people, I discoursed publicly among them from John v. 1—9. 1 was favoured with some special freedom and fervency in my discourse, and a powerful energy accompanied the word. Many wept, and scarcely any appeared unconcerned in the whole assembly. The influence that seized the audience appeared gentle, and yet pungent and efficacious. It produced no boisterous’ commotion of
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the passions, but seemed deeply to affect the heart; and excited in the persons under convictions of their lost state, heavy groans and tears: and in others who had obtained comfort, a sweet and bumble melting. It seemed like the gentle but steady showers that effectually water the earth, without violently beating upon the surface.
The persons lately awakened were deeply distressed for their souls, and appeared earnestly solicitious to obtain an interest in Christ: aad some of them, after public worship was over, in anguish of spirit, said, “ They knew not what to do, nor how to get their wicked hearts changed,” &c.
Nov. 28. Discoursed to the Indians publicly, after having privately endeavoured to instruct some of them in the duties of Christianity. Opened and made remarks upon the sacred story of our Lord’s transfiguration, Luke ix. 28—36, principally with a view to the edification and consolation of God’s people. I observed some who I have reason to think are truly such, exceedingly affected with an account of the _ glory of Christ in his transfiguration; and filled with longing desires of being with him, that they might with open face behold his glory.
After public service was over, I asked one of them who wept much, what she now wanted? She replied, “ Oh to be with Christ! she did not know how to stay,” &c. This was a blessed refreshing season to the religious people in general. The Lord Jesus Christ seemed to manifest his divine glory to them, as when transfigured before his disciples; and they, with the disciples, were ready universally to say, “ Lord, it is good for us to be here.”
The influence of God’s word was not confined to those —who had given evidences of being truly gracious, though at. this time my discourse was directed chiefly to such: but it appeared to be a season of divine power in the whole assembly, so that most were in some measure affected. One aged man in particular, lately awakened, was now brought under deep and pressing concern for his soul, and was earnestly inquisitive “how he might find Jesus Christ.” God seems still to vouchsafe his divine presence and the influence of his blessed Spirit to accompany his word, at least in some measure, in all our meetings for divine worship.
Noy. 30. Preached near night, after having spent some hours in private conference with some of my people about
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their souls. Explained and insisted upon the story of the ich man and Lazarus, Luke xvi. 19—26.. The word made powerful impressions upon many in the assembly, especially while I discoursed of -the blessedness of ‘ Lazarus in Abraham’s bosom.” This I could perceive affected them much more than what I spoke of the rich man’s misery and torments. Thus it has been usually with them: they have appeared more affected with the comfortable than the dreadful truths of God’s word. That which has distressed many of them under convictions is, that they found they wanted and could not obtain the happiness of the godly; at least they have often appeared to be more affected with this, than with the terrors of hell. But whatever be the means of their awakening, it is plain, numbers are made deeply sensible of their sin and misery, the wickedness and stubbornness of their own hearts, their utter inability to help themselves, or to come to Christ for help, without divine assistance; and so are brought to see their perishing need of Christ, to do all for them, and to lie at the foot of sovereign mercy.
Lord’s day, Dec. 1. Discoursed to my people in the forenoon from Luke xvi. 27, 31. There appeared an unfeigned affection in divers persons, and some seemed deeply impressed with divine truths.—In the afternoon preached to a number of white people; at which time the Indians attended with diligence, and many of them were able to - understand a considerable part of the discourse.—At night discoursed to my people again, and gave them some particular cautions and directions relating to their conduct. I ’ pressed them to watchfulness in all their deportment, seeing they were encompassed with those that waited for their halting,. and who stood ready to draw them into temptations of every kind, and then to expose religion on their account.
Lord’s day, Dec. 8. Discoursed on the story of the blind. man, John ix. There appeared no remarkable effect of the word upon the assembly at this time. Those who have lately been much concerned for their souls, seemed now not so affected nor solicitous to obtain an interest in Christ as has been usual, although they attended with seriousness and diligence., Such.have been the doings of the Lord here, in awakening sinners, and affecting the hearts of those who are brought to solid comfort, with a fresh sense of divine things
B b from time to time, that it is now strange to see the assembly sit with dry eyes, and without sobs and groans.
Dec. 12. Preached from the parable of the ten virgins, Matth. xxv. The divine power seemed in some measure to attend this discourse, in which I was favoured with uncommon freedom and plainness of address, and enabled to open and explain divine truths to the capacities of my people, in a manner beyond myself.——There appeared in many persons an affectionate concern for their souls; although the concern in general seemed not so deep and pressing as formerly. Yet it was refreshing to see many melted into tears and unaffected sobs; some with a sense of divine love, and some for want of it.
Lord’s day, Dec. 15. Preached to the Indians from Luke xiii. 24—28. Divine truths fell with weight and power upon the audience, and seemed to reach the hearts of many. Near night discoursed to them again from Matth. xxv. 31—46. At this season also the word appeared to be accompanied with a divine influence, and made powerful impressions upon the assembly in general, as well as upon divers persons more especially. This was an amazing season of grace. The word of the Lord was quick and powerful, sharper than a two-edged sword, and pierced to the hearts of many. The assembly was greatly affected, and deeply wrought upon; yet without so much apparent commotion of the passions, as was usual in the beginning of this work of grace. The impressions made upon the audience appeared solid and rational, worthy of the solemn truths by means of which they were produced, and far from being the effects of any sudden fright, or groundless perturbation of mind. The hearts of the hearers seemed to bow under the weight of divine truth, and how evident did it now appear that they received it “ not as the word of man, but as the word of God.” None can frame a just idea of the appearance of our assembly at this time, but those who have seen a congrega-. tion solemnly awed, and deeply impressed by the special power and influence of truth delivered to them in the name of the Lord.:
Dec. 16. Discoufsed to my people in the evening from Luke xi. 1—13. After having insisted some time upon the 9th verse, wherein there is a command and encouragement to ask for divine favours, I called upon them to ask for a new heart with the utmost importunity, as the man mentioned in the parable pleaded for loaves of bread at midnight. There was much affection and concern in the assembly; one woman especially appeared in great distress. She was brought to such an agony in seeking after Christ, that the sweat ran off her face for a considerable time together, although the evening was very cold, and her bitter cries were the most affecting indication of the inward anguish of her heart.
Dec. 21. My people having now attained to a considerable degree of knowledge in the principles of Christianity, I thought it proper to set up a Catechetical Lecture among them. This evening I attempted something in that form; proposing questions to them agreeable to the Assembly’s Shorter Catechism, receiving their answers, and then explaining and enforcing each question as it might appear necessary. After this 1 endeavoured to make some practical improvement of the whole—They were able readily and rationally to answer many important questions I proposed to them; so that I found their doctrinal knowledge to exceed my own expectations. In the improvement of my discourse, when I came to explain the blessedness of those who have so great and glorious a God for their everlasting friend and portion, several of my hearers were much affected; especially when I exhorted and endeavoured to persuade them “ to be reconciled to God,” through his dear Son, and thus to secure an interest in his everlasting favour. They appeared to be not only enlightened and instructed, but affected and engaged in their soul’s concern by this " method of discoursing.
Lord’s day, Dec. 22. Discoursed upon the story of the young man in the gospel, Matth. ix. 16—@2. God made it a seasonable word, I am persuaded, to some souls. Several of the Indians newly come here, had frequently lived among Quakers; and being more civilized and conformed to English manners than the generality of the Indians, they had imbibed some of the Quakers’ errors, especially this fundae * mental one, viz. That if men will but live soberly and honestly, according to the dictates of their own consciences,
(or the light within,) there is then no danger or doubt of their salvation, &c. I found these persons much worse to deal with than those who are wholly under pagan darkness,
Bbg@ who make no pretences to knowledge in Christianity at all, nor have any self-righteous foundation to stand upon. However they all, except one, appeared now convinced that this sober honest life, of itself, was not sufficient to salvation; since Christ himself had declared it so in the case of the
‘young Ruler. They seemed in some measure concerned to obtain that change of heart which I had been °n labouring to shew them the necessity of.
This was likewise a season of comfort to some souls, and in particular to one, (the same mentioned in my Journal of the 16th instant,) who never before obtained any settled comfort, though I have abundant reason to think she had experienced a saving change some days before. She now appeared in a heavenly frame of mind, composed and delighted with the divine will. When I came to discourse particularly with her, and to enquire how she got relief and deliverance from the spiritual distresses she had lately been under, she answered in broken English, * “ Me try, me try, save myself, last my strength be all gone, (meaning her ability to save herself,) could not me stir bit further. Den last, me forced let Jesus Christ alone, send me hell if he please.” 1 said, But you were not willing to go to hell, were you? She replied, + “ Could not me help it. My heart he would wicked for all. Could not me make him
* good.” I asked her how she got out of this case? She answered still in the same broken language, { “ By, by my heart be grad desperately.” 1 asked her why her heart was - glad? She replied, “ Grad my heart Jesus Christ do what he please with me. Den me tink, grad my heart Jesus Christ send me hell. Did not me care where he put me, me lobe him for all,” c. She could not readily be convinced, but that she was willing to go to hell, if Christ was pleased to send her there. Though the truth evidently was, her will was so swallowed up in the divine will, that she could not
* In proper English thus: ‘I tried and tried to save myself, till at last my, strength was all gone, and I could not stir any further. Then at last I was forced to let Jesus Christ alone to send me to hell if he pleased,”
t In plain English thus: “ I could not help it. My heart would be wicked for all that I could d6. I: could not make it good.”
¢ “ By and by my heart was exceeding glad.——My heart was glad that Jesus Christ would do with me what he pleased. Then I thought my heart would be glad although Christ should send me to hell. I did not care where he put me, I should love him for all; i. e, do what he would with me.”.
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frame any hell in her imagination that would be dreadful or undesirable, provided it was but the will of God to send her to it.
Toward night discoursed to them again in the Catechetical method, which I entered upon the evening before. And when I came to improve the truths I had explained to them, and to answer that question, “ But how shall I know whether God has chosen me to everlasting life, by pressing them to come and give up their hearts to Christ, and thereby “ to make their election sure;” they then appeared much affected. The persons under concern were afresh engaged in seeking after an interest in him; while some others, who had obtained comfort before, were refreshed to find that love to God in themselves, which was an evidence of his electing love to them..
Dec. 25. The Indians having been used upon Christmasdays to drink and revel among some of the white people in these parts, I thought it proper this day to call them together, and discourse to them upon divine things: which I accordingly did from the parable of the barren fig-tree, Luke xiii. 6—9. A divine influence evidently accompanied the word at this season. The power of God appeared in the assembly,’ not by producing any remarkable cries, but by breaking and melting the hearts of several who were scarce ever moved with any concern before. The power atttending divine truth resembled the earthquake, rather than the whirlwind. ‘Their passions were not so much alarmed as has been common here in times past, but their judgments appeared to be powerfully convinced by the conquering influence of divine truth. The impressions made upon the assembly in general seemed not superficial, but deep and heart-affecting. Oh how ready did they now appear universally to embrace and comply with every thing they heard and were convinced was duty !. God was in the midst of us of a truth, bowing and melting stubborn hearts. How many tears and sobs were then to be seen and heard among us. What liveliness and strict attention: what eagerness and intenseness of mind appeared in the whole assembly in the time of divine service. ‘They seemed to watch and wait for the dropping of God’s word, as the thirsty earth for the former and latter. rain.”,
Afterwards I discoursed to them on the duty of husbands
Bb 3 and wives, from Eph. v. 22—33; and have reason to think this was a word in season.——Spent some time further in the evening, in inculcating the truths I had insisted upon in my former discourse respecting the barren fig-tree, and ‘observed a powerful influence still accompany what was spoken.
Dec. 26. This evening I was visited by a person under great spiritual exercise, the most remarkable instance of this kind I ever saw. It was a woman of more than fourscore, who appeared to be so much broken and childish through age, that it seemed impossible to instil into her mind any notions of divine things, or so much as to give her any doctrinal instruction, for she seemed incapable of being taught. She was led by the hand into my house, and appeared in ex treme anguish. 1 asked her what ailed her? She answered, “That her heart was distressed, and she feared she should never find Christ.” I asked her several questions relating to her distress. To all which she answered, for substance, to this effect, viz. That she had heard me preach many times, but never knew any thing about it, never “ felt it in her heart” till the last sabbath; then it came she said, “ all one as if a needle had been thrust into her heart;” since which time she had no rest day nor night. She added that on the evening before Christmas, a number of Indians being together at the house where she was, and discoursing about Christ, their talk pierced her heart, so that she could not sit up, but fell down on her bed; at which time “she went away,” as she expressed it, and felt as if she dreamed, and. yet is confident she did not dream. When she was thus gone, she saw two paths, one appeared very broad and crooked; and that, she says, turned to the left hand. The other appeared strait and very narrow; and that went up the hill to the right hand. She travelled, she said, for some time up the narrow right-hand path, till at length something seemed to obstruct her journey. She sometimes called it darkness, and then described it otherwise, and seemed to compare it to a block or bar. She then remembered what she had heard me say about “striving to enter in at the strait gate,” (although she took little notice of it at the time. when she heard me discourse upon that subject,) and thought she would climb over this bar. But just as she was thinking of this, she came back again, as she termed it, meaning that
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she came to herself; whereupon her soul was extremely distressed, apprehending she had now turned back and forsaken Christ, and that there was therefore no hope of mercy for her.
As [ was sensible that trances and imaginary views of things are of dangerous tendency in religion, when sought after and depended upon; so | could not but be much concerned about this exercise, especially at first; apprehending this might be a design of Satan to bring a blemish upon the work of God here, by introducing visionary scenes, imaginary terrors, and all manner of mental disorders and delusions, in the room of genuine convictions of sin and the enlightening influences of the blessed Spirit. I was almost resolved to declare that I looked upon this to be one of Satan’s devices, and to caution my people against it, and the like exercises, as such. However, I determined first to enquire into her knowledge, to see whether she had any just views of things that might be the occasion of her present distress, or whether it was a mere fright arising only from imaginary terrors. 1 asked her several questions respecting man’s primitive and present state, and respecting her own heart; which she answered rationally, and to my surprise. I thought i it next to impossible, if not altogether so, that a Pagan who was become a child through age, should in that state gain so much knowledge by any mere human ‘instruction, without being remarkably enlightened by a divine influence.
lthen proposed to her the provision made in the gospel for the salvation of sinners, and the ability and willingness of Christ to save to the uttermost all (old as well as young) thateome to him. To this she seemed to give a hearty assent. But instantly replied, “ Ay, bat | cannot come; my wicked heart will not come to Christ; | do not know how to come,” &c. She spoke this in anguish of spirit, striking on her breast, with tears in her eyes, and with such earnestness in her looks as was indeed piteous and affecting. She seems to be really convinced of her sin and misery, and: her need of a change of heart; and her concern is abiding and constant. Nothing appears but that this exercise may have a saving issue: she is so solicitous to obtain an interest in Christ, that her heart, as she expresses it, prays day and night.
Bb 4 How far God may make use of the imagination in awakening some persons under these and such like circumstances, I cannot pretend to determine; and whether this exercise I have mentioned be from a divine influence, 1 shall leave others to judge. But this! must say, thatyts @ffects hitherto bespeak it to be such; nor can it as I see be accounted for in a rational way, but from the influence of some spirit, either good or evil. The woman I am sure never heard divine things treated of in the manner she now viewed them; and it would seem strange she should get such a rational notion of them from the mere working of her own fancy, without some superior or foreign aid. Yet I must say, | have looked upon it as one of the glories of this work of grace among the Indians, and a special evidence of its being from a divine influence, that there has till now been no appearance of such things, no visionary notions, trances and imaginations, inter-- mixed with those rational convictions of sin and solid consolations, which numbers have experienced. And might I have had my desire, there had been no appearance of any thing of this nature at all.
Dec. 28. Discoursed to my people in the Catechetical method 1 lately entered upon. During the improvement of my discourse, wherein I was comparing man’s present with his primitive state, shewing what he had fallen from, the miseries to which he is now exposed, and pressing sinners to take a view of their deplorable circumstances without Christ, also to strive that they might obtain an interest in him; the Lord, I trust, granted a remarkable influence of his blessed Spirit to accompany what was spoken, and a great concern appeared in the assembly. Many were
melted into tears, and the impressions made upon them seemed deep and heart-affecting. In particular, there were two or three persons who appeared to be brought to the last exercises of a preparatory work, and reduced almost to extremity; being in great measure convinced of the impossibility of helping themselves, or of mending their own hearts; and seemed to be upon the point of giving up all hope in themselves, and of venturing upon Christ as helpless and undone. Yet they were in distress and anguish because they saw no safety in so doing, unless they could do something towards saving themselves. One of these persons was the very aged woman above mentioned, who now appeared
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“weary and heavy laden” with a sense of her sin and misery, and her perishing need of an interest in Christ. _
Lord’s day, Dec. 29. Preached from John iii. 1—5. A number of white people were present, as is usual upon the sabbath. The discourse was accompanied with power, and seemed to have a silent but deep and piercing influence upon - the audience. Many wept affectionately, and there were some tears among the white people, as well as the Indians. Some could not refrain from crying out, though there were not many so exercised. ‘Ihe impressions made upon their hearts appeared chiefly by the extraordinary earnestness of their attention, and their heavy sighs and tears.
After public worship was over, I went to my house, proposing to preach again after a short season of intermission. But they soon came in one after another, with tears in their eyes, to know “what they should do to be saved.” And the divine Spirit in such a manner set home upon their hearts what | spoke to them, that the house was soon filled with cries and groans. They all flocked together upon this occasion, and those whom I had reason to think in a Christless state, were almost universally seized with concern about their souls. It was a season of great power among them; it. seemed as if God had “ bowed the heavens, and come down.” So astonishingly prevalent was the operation upon old as. well as young, that it seemed as if none would be left in a state of carnal security, but that God was now about to convert all the world. And I was ready to think then, that I should never again despair of the conversion of any man or woman living, be they who or what they would.
It is impossible to give a just and lively description of the. appearance of things at this season, at least such as to con-
. Yey a bright and adequate idea of the effects of this influence. A number might now be seen rejoicing, that God had not taken away the powerful influence of his blessed Spirit from this place. It was refreshing to see so many “ striving to’ enter in at the strait gate,” and others animated with such concern for them, that they wanted, “ to push them forward,”: as some of them expressed it. At the same time numbers both of men and women, old and young, might be seen in tears, and some in anguish of spirit, appearing in their very countenances, like condemned malefactors bound towards the place of execution, with a heavy solicitude sitting in their faces: so that there seemed here, as [ thought, a lively emblem of the solemn day of accounts; a mixture of heaven and hell, of joy unspeakable, and anguish inex pressible.
The concern and religious affection was such, that I could Bot pretend to have any formal religious exercise among them; bat spent the time in discoursing to one and another, as | thought most proper and seasonable, and sometimes addressed them all together, and finally concluded with prayer. Such were their circumstances at this season, that I could scarcely have half an hour’s rest from speaking, from about half an hour before twelve o'clock, at which time 1 began public worship, till past seven at night. There appeared to be four or five persons newly awakened this day and the evening before, some of whom but very lately came among us
Dec. 30. Was visited by four or five young persons, who were lately awakened. They wept much while I discoursed to them, and endeavoured to press upon thei the necessity of fying to Christ for salvation, without delay.
Dec. 31.. Spent some hours this day in visiting my people from house to house, and conversing with them about their spiritual concerns; endeavouring to press upon Christless souls the necessity of a renovation of heart. I scarcely left x house, without leaving some or other of its inhabitants in tears, appearing solicitously engaged to obtain an interest in Christ.—The Indians are now gathered together from alk quarters to this place, and have built them little cottages, so that more than twenty families live within a quarter of a mile of me; a very convenient situation in regard both of public and private instruction.
January |. 1745-6. Spent some considerable time in visiting my people again. Found scarce one but what was under serious impressions respecting their spiritual concerns.
Jan. 2. Visited some persons newly come among us, who had scarce ever heard any thing of Christianity, except the. empty name, before. Endeavoured to instruct them particularly in the first principles of religion, in the most easy and familiar manner 1 could.—Strangers from remote parts are almost continually dropping in among us, so that I have. occasion repeatedly to open and inculcate the first principles of Christianity.
Jan. 4. Prosecuted my catechetical method of instructing.
Found my people able to answer questions with propriety, beyond what could have been expected from persons so lately brought out of heathen darkness. In the improvement of my discourse, there appeared some concern and affection in the assembly; and especially those of whom 1 entertained hopes.as being truly gracious, at least several of them were much affected and refreshed.
Lord’s day, Jan. 5. Discoursed from Matth. xii. 1}O—13. There appeared not so much liveliness and affection in divine service as usual. The same truths that have often produced many tears in the assembly, seemed now to have no special influence upon any.
Near night I proposed to proceed in my usual method of catechising, but while we were engaged in the first prayer, the power of God seemed to descend upon the assembly ia such a remarkable manner, and so many appeared under pressing concern for their souls, that I thought it much more expedient to insist upon the plentiful provision made by divine grace for the redemption of perishing sinners, and to press them to a speedy acceptance of the great salvation, than to ask them questions about doctrinal points. What was most practical seemed most seasonable to be insisted upon, while numbers appeared so extraordinarily solicitous to obtain an interest in the great Redeemer.
Baptized two persons this day; one adult, the woman particularly mentioned in my Journal of Dec. 29, and one child. This woman has discovered a sweet and heavenly frame of mind from time to time, since her first reception of comfort. One morning in particular she came to see me, discovering an unusual joy and satisfaction in her countenance; and when I inquired into the reason of it, she replied, “ That God had made her feel that it was right for him to do what he pleased with all things; and that it would be right if he should cast her husband and son both into hell,” though it was apparent she loved them dearly. She moreover inquired, whether I was not sent to preach to the Indians, by some good people a great way off. I replied, Yes, by the good people in Scotland. She answered that her heart loved those good people so, the evening before, “ that she could. scarce help praying for them all night, her heart would go to God for them, &c.” Thus the blessing of such as are ready to perish is likely to come upon those pious persons who have communicated of their substance to the propagation of the gospel.
Jan 11. Discoursed in a catechetical method, as usual of late. Having opened our first parent’s apostacy from God, and our fall in him; I proceeded to improve my discourse, by shewing the necessity of an almighty Redeemer, and the absolute need every sinner has of an interest in his merits and mediation. Some tenderness and affectionate concern appeared in the assembly. -
Lord’s day, Jan. 12. Preached from Isai. lv. 6. The word of God seemed to fall upon the audience with a divine weight and influence, and evidently appeared to be “ not the word of man.” The blessed Spirit, I am persuaded, accompanied what was spoken to the hearts of many; and there was a powerful revival of conviction in numbers whe were under spiritual exercise before.
Toward night, catechised in my usual method. Near the close of my discourse, there appeared a great concern and
much affection in the audience, which increased while I con-|
tinued to invite them to come to an all-sufficient Redeemer for eternal salvation. The Spirit of God seems, from time to time, to be striving with numbers of souls here. They are so frequently and repeatedly rouzed, that they seem unable at present to lull themselves asleep.
Jan. 13. Was visited by several persons under deep concern, one of whom was newly awakened.—It is a most. agreeable work to treat with souls who are solicitously inquiring “ what they shall do to be saved; and as we are never to be “ weary in well-doing,” so the obligation seems to be peculiarly strong when the work is so very desirable. Yet I must say, my health is so much impaired, and my spirits so wasted with my labours and solitary manner of living, (their being no human creature in the house with me,) that their repeated and almost incessant applications to me for help and direction are sometimes exceeding burdensome,
and so exhaust my spirits, that I become fit for nothing at
all, entirely unable to prosecute any business sometimes for days together. And what contributes much toward this difficulty is, that I am obliged to spend much time in communicating a little matter to them; there being oftentimes many things necessary to be premised, before | can speak directly to what I principally aim at; which things would readily be taken for granted, where there -was a competency of doctrinal knowledge.
Jan. 14. Spent some time in private conferences with my people, and found some disposed to take comfort, as 1 thought, upon slight grounds.—They are now generally awakened, and it is become so disgraceful, as well as terrifying to the conscience, to be destitute of religion, that they are in imminent danger of taking up with any appearances of grace, rather than to live under the fear and disgrace of an unregenerate state.
- Jan. 18. Prosecuted my catechetical method of discoursing. There appeared a great solemnity, and some considerable affection in the assembly. 1 find this method of instructing very profitable. When I first entered upon it, I was exercised with fears, lest my discourses would unavoidably be so doctrinal that they would tend only to enlighten the head, but not to affect the heart. But the event proves quite otherwise; for these exercises have hitherto been remarkably blessed in the latter, as well as the former respects.
Lord’s day, Jan. 19. Discoursed to my people from Isai. lv. 7—Toward night catechised in my ordinary method. This appeared to be a powerful season of grace among us; numbers were much affected; convictions powerfully revived, and believers in general were refreshed and strengthened. One weary heavy-laden soul, 1 have abundant reason to hope was brought to true rest and solid comfort in Christ, who afterwards gave me such an account of God’s dealings with him, as was abundantly satisfying as well as refreshing to me.
He told me, he had often heard me say, that persons must see and feel themselves utterly helpless and undone; that they must be emptied of a dependance upon themselves, and of all hope of saving themselves by their own doings, in order to their coming to Christ for salvation. He had long been striving after this view of things, supposing this would be an excellent frame of mind to be thus emptied of a dependance upon his own goodness; that God would have respect to this frame, would then be well pleased with him, and bestow eternal life upon him. But when he came to feel himself in this helpless undone condition, he found it quite contrary to all his thoughts and expectations; so that it was not the same, nor indeed any thing like the frame he had been seeking after. Instead of its being a good frame of mind, he