71. TO DURAND, ABBOT OF: Chaise-Dieu.
The Letters of St. Anselm
71. TO DURAND, ABBOT OF
CHAISE-DIEU.
Anselm protests at being unworthy of Abbot Durand's love and asks for his prayers. He offers his own prayers, and asks to be counted among the communi ty of La Chaise-Dieu. Durand's suggestion has been discussed and the bearers of the letter will inform him of this.
TO THE LORD AND FATHER DURAND, ABBOT OF THE MONASTERY
CALLED LA CHAISE-DIEU1, DESERVEDLY TO BE REVERED WITH LOVE
FOR HIS HOLINESS AND TO BE LOVED WITH REVERENCE: BROTHER
ANSELM OF BEC, A SINNER IN THIS LIFE, A MONK BY PROFESSION:
WISHING THAT HE MAY SO PERSEVERE IN THIS LIFE IN THE
PERFECTION OF SANCTITY THAT HE MAY REJOICE IN ABUNDANT
BLISS IN THE LIFE TO COME.
ON RECEIVING THE LETTER of your paternity, great joy flooded my heart; but on reviewing my life, this joy not only ebbed away almost entirely from my heart, but over and above this a genuine sadness profoundly flooded my spirit.
When I realized that your holiness has such affection for me, an unknown, worthless creature, as to deign to visit and greet me with your letter from so great a distance, it seemed that my humility ought justly to rejoice at this. But when I consider that I am loved by you for no reason but because you esteem me to be something when I am noth ing, then I perceive that you do not love a person vile and contemptible before God and men—which I am—but a man energetic and of some virtue—which I am not at all. Where fore, fearing not only that your love may profit me noth ing, or only a little, because I am not the sort of person whom you love, but also that my lukewarmness, which you do not recognize in me, may hinder me considerably, I pray,
I beseech you not to think of me or love me as if I had al ready made some progress in the spiritual life, but love me that I can make some, and in loving me pray that I may become [this person]. For thus your estimation of me will be true, your love towards me true and my exultation over your love for me free of anxiety.
The Letters of St. Anselm I beg your reverend paternity, then, with as much hu mility as I can: by your holy prayers cause whatever I have been guilty of up to now to be taken away from me, whatever I have not yet profitably done to be granted me, and whatever you have mercifully given your indigent neighbor to be repaid to you. Indeed I dare not promise your reverend blessedness our prayers because they are worthless, yet I ought not to refuse them after you have deigned to request them. Wherefore, if these [prayers] are of any use now or become so in the future thanks to the pleading of your merits, then in true charity they should be [useful] to you and to the holy men of your monastery who are now entrusted to you by divine providence, or shall be in the future. And although what I grant you from me may be of very little or no use, yet I presume to demand something very great from you. My spirit prostrates itself in the presence of your reverend paternity and in the presence of all the brothers of your holy community, there fore, begging with humble supplication that you permit me to be your servant, a brother of your monastery, like one of you for ever, and that you have my name inscribed last where your names are written.
Indeed, about the matters which have been carried out according to your orders, and those which have been re quested, our reverend fellow-monks and brothers, your sons, who have come to us, will be better able to tell you by word of mouth than we can do in writing. May almighty
God grant you to live such a life in La Chaise-Dieu in this world, my lord father and your fellow-monks, our brothers in Christ, that you may praise God for ever and ever among the saints who live in the house of God.2 Amen. c. 1075/76.
NOTES 1. See Ep 70.
2. Anselm puns on casa Dei and domus Dei.