Chapter 9 — Duties of neighbours to one another
Having in a few words showed you what is your duty in your different relationships, I shall now at last speak a word or two concerning good neighbourhood, and then conclude. There are these things to be considered and practised, if you will excel in the practical part of good neighbourhood.
First, You must be of a good and sound lifestyle in your own family, place, and station, showing to all the power that the gospel and the things of another world have in your heart, 'That you may be blameless, and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom you shine as lights in the world' (Phil 2:15, 16).
Second, As people who wish to be good neighbours must be of good behaviour at home,, so they must be full of courtesy and love to those who have need about them (Luke 10:36, 37). Right neighbourhood is for men readily to share not only their spiritual, but also their physical resources, such as food, clothing, and help, to those that have need; to give to the poor as you see them go by you, or to ask after them, and help them as you are able (Job 31:15-17, &c).
Third, You must be always humble and meek among them, as also serious and gracious; not frivolous, but by word and attitude bringing 'grace to the hearers' (Eph 4:29). Thus Job honoured God among his neighbours (Job 29:6-12).
Fourth, Your wisdom will be rightly to frown on sin, and reprove your neighbour for it (Lev 19:17), denying yourself in some things, to avoid stumbling him, so that you may please him for his benefit (Rom 15:2).
Fifth, If you would be a good neighbour, be careful of your tongue on two accounts.
1. That it is not offensive to your neighbour, to provoke him to anger. Bear much, put up with wrongs, and say little: 'It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling' (Prov 20: 3). And again, 'He loves sin that loves strife' (Prov 17:19).
2. And as you should be careful that you are not the cause of contention and anger, so also be careful that you are not an instrument to cause it between others, by tale-bearing and a gossiping spirit: 'He that passes by, and meddles with strife belonging not to him, is like one that takes a dog by the ears. As coals are to a furnace, and wood to fire; so contentious man kindles strife' (Prov 26:17-21). I have seen two very bad things in many professors; one is a headstrong and stiff-necked spirit, that insists on its own way; and the other is a great deal of chat and talk about religion, but very little, if anything, of those deeds that carry in them the cross of a Christian and benefit to my neighbour.
(1) When I say a head-strong and stiff-necked spirit, I mean that they please themselves and their own fancies in things of no importance' though doing that is like a knife to the weak conscience of a brother or neighbour. This is bad. A Christian, in all that does not affect matters of faith and worship, should be full of self-denial, and seek to please others rather than himself; 'Give no offence - to the Jews, nor to the Greeks, nor to the church of God: - not seeking my own benefit, but the benefit of many, that they may be saved' (1 Cor 10:32, 33). (2) The second is as bad, that is, when professors are great gossips and talkers, but do little that speaks of love to the poor, or self-denial in outward things. Some people think religion is made up of words; a very big mistake! Words without deeds is but a half-faced religion: 'Pure religion, and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world' (James 1:27). Again, 'If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,' - very fine words -, but do not give them what the body needs, what use is it?' (James 2:15, 16).
Now, before I go any further, I will here touch a little on those sins that are so rife in many believers: covetousness, pride, and uncleanness. They spoil both Christian brotherhood, and civil neighbourhood in so great a measure.