The Ordering Of The Household
THE ORDERING OF THE HOUSEHOLD
COLOSSIANS 3:18-21
Is Jesus Lord in all our relationships?
At the time Paul dictated Colossians he had with him Onesimus, the runaway Colossian slave. Paul had been wrestling with the whole question of the relationship of Christian masters and slaves. Now he turns abruptly to what has been called the “household code” (3:18–4:1; see also Ephesians 5:22ff.; 1 Peter 2:18ff.), a set of instructions concerning the ordering of life in the family as a whole. The first section of the code treats the relationship of husbands and wives and of parents and children, since these are foundational to family life.
The distinctly Christian contribution to the ordering of family life was the emphasis on mutual responsibilities. Even in Judaism, where family relationships were given a significance not found elsewhere in ancient times, it tended to be assumed that husbands and fathers had rights to be exercised, while wives and children had duties to be performed. In emphasizing that all members of the household had rights and duties, Paul develops a conception of family life which is implicit in Jesus’ teaching concerning marriage (see Mark 10:2-16).
Wives are instructed to fulfill their appropriate duties in the Christian home. The new freedom in Christ did not permit the neglect of household tasks or responsibilities toward their husbands. Husbands are commanded to provide that climate of loving support which makes it possible for their wives to fulfill their obligations happily. Aware of the conventions of Greek marriage, Paul warns against surliness and discontent, which can ruin Christian marriage, and turns husbands and wives against each other (3:18f.).
The mutual relationship of husbands and wives finds its complement in parents and children. God set before Israel the commandment to honor father and mother; he now reaffirms that this is his will in the new life (3:20). The responsibility of Christian fathers is understanding in the use of their authority. Paul’s statement recognizes that firm discipline is necessary, but cautions against nagging and fault-finding. The purpose of discipline is not to irritate but to encourage willing obedience by sons and daughters. Children must know they live in a home where they are recognized to be individuals in their own right whom God loves and cares for.