witness of the Spirit. James Hutton would not have them give me any
twenty of the still brethren there; and more, to hear they constantly
meet on Thursday and Sunday, while I am preaching at the Foundery.
The reason is obvious.
I bore my testimony for the ordinances and weak faith. Asked whether
they did not hold,
1. That the means of grace are neither commands nor means:
2. That forgiveness is never given but together with the abiding
witness of the Spirit. James Hutton would not have them give me any
answer. I said, if they durst not avow their principles, I should take
their silence for confession, and warn God's people against them.
Wed., May 14th. I talked with a woman to whom Jesus lately appeared,
but immediately vanished out of her sight. Never did I see a soul more
inconsolable. Esther Owen was with me, pierced, melted,
overpowered with love.
At Blackheath I preached redemption in the blood of Jesus. He gave
me power "to sound the unbelieving heart." A woman screamed out so
loud that I could not be heard; and therefore had her removed, but not
out of hearing. To the scoffers I spoke with much contention. Many
were driven off, and others constrained to stay. I am sure the word did
not return void.
I found Mr. Hall at Fetter-lane, asking them, whether they would try their spirits by the word, or the word by their spirits. I enforced the
question, which they strove to evade. Rabbi Hutton forbade their
answering me. I warned the few remaining brethren to beware of the
leaven of stillness; showed them the delusion of those who had cast
off the ordinances, and confined the faith to themselves only; I
foretold the dreadful consequences of their enthusiasm; set the case
of Gregor before their eyes; besought, entreated, conjured them not to
renounce the means, or deny the Lord that bought them; read a letter
from one who had been strongly tempted to leave off the sacrament,
But, in receiving, powerfully convinced that her dissuader was the
devil. Hodges, Hall, and Howel Harris confirmed my words. Others
were hereby emboldened to bear their testimony to the divine
ordinances. By the strength of the Lord we have stood between the
living and the dead; and the plague, we trust, is stayed.
Poor James was all tergiversation. O how unlike himself; The honest,
plain, undesigning Jacob, is now turned a subtle, close, ambiguous
Loyola. Bell was more frank, and I therefore put him upon speaking.
He expressly denied the sacrament to the unjustified; that is, in effect,
to all but Molther, M. Eusters, and himself; for these three are all the
church Christ has in England.
I mentioned Simpson's advice to M. Seaton, that if she would but leave
off the sacrament, prayer, and reading the Scriptures, for one week,
she should then find what she never found before in her life. He
justified his advising her, and several others, to lay aside their Bibles,
because he trusted in them. The rest abated somewhat of their
stiffness, and much pressed me "to preach Christ the foundation;"
meaning, that I should not recommend the ordinances, but let them
trample on them undisturbed. I did not say that I understood them.
Ascension-day, May 15th. I preached from Rom. 8:33, 34. Great power
accompanied the word; but greater still, while I exhorted the Society
to wait for the promise of the Father. Many cried out in the birth-
pangs. After a long and violent struggle, Eleanor Tubbs testified that
God had now showed her her heart, and broke it in pieces, and bound
it up.
Sarah Church informed me she had received forgiveness the night Mr.
Simpson expounded at Rag-fair; not under his preaching, which was
quite dead to her, but in singing an hymn which I gave out. So did
Anne Roberts, after hearing the word, in the same carnal ordinance of
singing.
Mary Shrievely, who has been groaning under the burden of sin from
the time she first heard me preach, was last night relieved by the
coming of Jesus, and now goes on her way rejoicing. Jane Bourn also
informs me that she received forgiveness in the Society, and was
sprinkled from her idols.
Fri., May 16th. Almost the whole Society met at one. A spirit of
contrition ran through all. I received the following letter: -
"My Friend, - I hear there are divisions among you; for some say, 'I am
of Wesley;' and others, 'I am of Molther;' but I say, I am of Christ; and
what he bids me do, I will do, and not trust in any man.
"Here some will say, 'What Christ bids you do, is, to believe and be
still.' True; but does he bid me do nothing else? He bids me let my light
so shine before men, that they may see my good works, and glorify my
Father which is in heaven.
"He likewise says, 'The scribes and Pharisees sit in Moses's chair; all
therefore whatsoever they bid observe, that observe and do.' But how
can I know what they bid me do, except I go to hear them?
"Again: Christ bids me observe all things which he commands the
Apostles; and with such He will be to the end of the world. But if I do
not observe and do his commands, he will not be with me.
"He bids me 'do this in remembrance of Him.' Now, if any man can
prove this is not a command, I will obey it no longer. 'But whosoever
breaketh one of these least commandments, and teacheth men so,
shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven.'
"As to stillness, our Saviour saith, 'The kingdom of heaven suffereth
violence, and the violent take it by force;' and, 'Strive to enter in at the
strait gate.' And St. Paul saith, 'Work out your salvation with fear and
trembling.' And, 'God is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.'
Now these scriptures imply somewhat more than barely sitting still.
"Some deny that there are any means of grace: but I will be thankful
for them; since it was in them I first heard you preach faith in Christ;
and had I not been there, I might have been without faith unto this
day.
"One told me, when you preached you had nature in your face. So will
every one have, who speaks with zeal; but no matter for that, if he has
but grace in his heart. My friend, there are many teachers, but few
fathers; but you are my father, who begot me by the Gospel, and, I
trust, many more.
"May the Lord lead you into all truth!"
Sat., May 17th. I expounded the chapter in course, Isaiah 53. One could
not bear my enlarging on that, "The Lord hath laid on Him the iniquity
of us All;" but often interrupted me with, "Stop his mouth." Alas!
thought I, if meekness be the mark of the elect, I fear thou art still a
reprobate.
I dined at Mr. Williams's. His wife had formerly found favour with God
under the word; but Satan reasoned her out of it. After our praying,
she said she had an answer in herself at every word. All doubt and
unbelief fled away and she clearly saw her interest in the Saviour of all
men.
Sun., May 18all. I preached to near ten thousand at the Common, from
1 Cor. 6:9, &c. The Lord was with us in his convincing power. I would
give Him the glory.
Mon., May 19th. Our brethren complain, that we unjustly charge them
with speaking against the ordinances. Yet they teach, that your using
them before faith, necessarily keeps you out of it; and your using them
after faith, necessarily makes you lose it. Particularly when you find
comfort, by no means offer to pray, they say: if you pray then, you will
forfeit it immediately.
Ridley is famous for saying, "You may as well go to hell in praying as in thieving." Mr. Brown's words are, "If we read, the devil reads with us; if we pray, he prays with us; if we go to church or sacrament he goes
with us."
In the time of conference Mary Benham declared her faith, which she
has lately received. Anne Judge found power to believe under the
word last Monday; Thomas Boreman, while we were at prayers.
While I expounded the woman of Samaria, the word reached many
hearts, particularly Mrs. Ash the Quaker's, a great enemy to crying out.
However, she could not now forbear; for the love of Christ constrained
her. Jesus had said, "I that speak unto thee am He!" Her sister
appeared under strong convictions at the sight of her. O that the flame
might spread throughout all the earth!
Tues., May 20th. Poor desperate John Dickenson received the word of
reconciliation, Isaiah 54: "For a small moment have I forsaken thee,
but with great mercies will I gather thee," &c. After having been long afflicted, tossed with tempests, and not comforted, in that hour he
found rest to his soul.
At eleven, Eliz. Bird testified her having lately felt the atoning blood; as
likewise Astrea Edzard and Thomas Haddock; all by the ministry of
the word. Mary Wotlen, too, can set to her seal, that God is true. I
found S. Sutherland strong in the Lord. Several others were present,
whom I took knowledge of, that they have been with Jesus.
I went with Maxfield to Bray's, as a fool to the correction of the stocks.
I laboured for peace: but only the Almighty can root out those cursed
tares of pride, contempt, and self-sufficiency, with which our
Moravianized brethren are overrun.
Wed., May 21st. I carried Bridget Armstead to Bloomsbury church,
where the Minister baptised her. She had been bred a Quaker. I was
one of the witnesses. We were all in great heaviness before; but
perceived that Christ was with us always in his ordinances. The Spirit
infallibly bears witness on this occasion. Our youngest sister assuredly
knows that she is born of water and of the Spirit.
Thur., May 22nd. I found our dear brother Ingham at M. West's. The
holiday mob was very outrageous at the Foundery. God filled my
mouth with threatenings and promises. Both, I believe, took place; for
at last we got the victory, and the fiercest rioters were overawed into
silence.
The day of Pentecost, May 25th. I discoursed on the first pouring out
of the Spirit. (Acts 2). He gave me utterance. Many felt his descent in
an invisible power; and even trembled at his presence.
At the Common I again declared the Promise to many thousands. At
the love-feast I was overwhelmed with the burden of our brethren,
with such visible signs of dejection, that several, I was since informed,
were in great hopes that I was now coming down in my pride, or
unsettling, and coming into confusion. Indeed, my faith did well nigh
fail me: for in spite of the seeming reconciliation which brother
Ingham forces them into, it is impossible we should ever be of one
mind, unless they were convinced of their abrogating the law of
Christian ordinances, and taking away the children's bread.
Mon., May 20th. A woman from Islington complained to me, that she
had brought Mr. Stonehouse to her mother, who lay a-dying, but
waiting for redemption. Her Minister told her, "it signified nothing to
pray either publicly or privately. Reading the Scriptures, or taking the
sacrament, were equally useless. These outward things must all be
laid aside. She had nothing to do but to be still." He refused to pray by her, and so left her.
The work of grace goes on in several that were with me to-day; and
God still gives fresh seals to my ministry.
Tues., May 27th. I rejoiced to find no difference betwixt my brother
Ingham and me. He has honestly withstood the deluded brethren;
contradicted their favourite errors, and constrained them to be still.
That blot he easily hit: "You say no man must speak of what he has not
experienced: you, Oxley and Simpson, say, that one in Gospel-liberty
can have no stirrings of sin." "Yes." "Are you in Gospel-liberty?", "No."
"Then out of your own mouth I judge you: you speak of the things
which you know not of." I expounded in Snowsfield, and met the
bands at the Foundery. An extraordinary power overshadowed us. S.
Hunting received the witness in herself; R.R.was even lost in love.
Wed., May 28th. At Blackheath I discoursed from Matt. 21: "He that
falleth on this stone shall be broken," &c. There were a multitude of 245
scoffers, but all forced to fly before the sword of the Spirit. I talked once more with our wild brethren, and laboured heartily for peace
and union. But it cannot be, while they are so full of bitter, proud
contempt of all except themselves.
Thur., May 29th. I expounded Isai. 57, a chapter most contradictory to
the doctrine of our brethren. I dined at friend Keen's, a Quaker and a
Christian; and read George Whitefield's account of God's dealings with
him. The love and esteem he expresses for me, filled me with
confusion, and brought back my fear, lest, after having preached to
others, I should be myself a cast-away. At Marybone the scoffers
fulfilled the scripture I explained: "The wicked are like the troubled
sea, when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt." I
addressed myself to one of them after another, and silenced them on
whatever side I turned. Sometimes a stray coach would stop: but my
doctrine did not suit them. Our Lord vouchsafed us much of his
presence at the Society. We find him daily uncovering our hearts,
casting down imaginations, and bringing every thought into captivity.
The souls of many were smitten asunder as with a sword; and I am
sure, if God wounds, he will bind up again.
Fri., May 30th. I had yet another conference, but could not convince
our dear brother Simpson. He cannot allow there are more than four
Christians in London, which are Molther, M. Eusters, Wheeler's maid,
and Bell. Of the last he roundly affirms, that he is holier than Moses,
the meekest of men; than Abraham, the friend of God; than David, the
man after God's own heart; than Elijah and Enoch, who walked with
God, and were translated. As to our father Abraham, he denies him to
have had any right faith at all.
Sat., May 31st. I took sweet counsel with Benjamin lngham, and Howel
Harris. A threefold cord cannot easily be broken.
I heard that the Foundery was lately presented at Hicks's Hall, for a
seditious assembly. Sir John Gunson interposed, and objected, that no
persons were named in the presentment. Upon this they presented
Charles Wesley, Clerk, J. Hutton, bookseller, Timothy Lewis, printer,
and Howel Harris, alias the Welsh Apostle. But our friend Sir John
quashed the whole.
Sun., June 1st. I was much refreshed in spirit among the women bands. They have rest, and walk in the comfort of the Holy Ghost, and
are edified.
Mon., June 2nd. I preached up the ordinances, as they call it, from Isai.
58; but first with the Prophet I preached them down. Telchig, Ingham,
&c., were present, which made me use greater plainness, that they
might set me right, if I mistook.
I talked with several in whom the work of conversions effectually
begun; particularly Mary Russel, convinced and deeply wounded by
my last discourse at Kennington; Mary Peck, whom God showed her
heart in singing; Sarah Redford, to whom faith lately came by hearing;
and Mary Litchfield, who, by all I can yet discern, was justified the last
time I preached at Blackheath.
I preached on Job 23:8, I would hope, to the comfort of many, whose
hearts God is directing into the love of Christ, and into the patient
waiting for him.
Tues., June 3rd. I met with Amos Comenius's moving exhortation of
the Bohemian churches to the Church of England. O that we might see,
at least in this our day! Who knows but our eyes may behold "the last
surviving Bishop of the Church of England!"
Wed., June 4th. I preached at Marybone on, "What must I do to be
saved?" The opposers had threatened me hard; but all they now could
do was to curse and swear. I only invited them to Christ. But I am more
and more persuaded, that the law has its use, and Moses must bring
us to Christ. The promises to the un-wakened are pearls before swine.
First the hammer must bleak the rocks; then we may preach Christ
crucified.
Thur., June 5th. My brother returned from Bristol.
Fri., June 6th. I spoke with Billah Aspernel, who had lately been with
me in the depth of mourning. A still brother had been troubling her,
and deterring from the word and sacrament. Last night it pleased our
Lord to lift up her head above all her enemies. He spoke to her in the
word, and she had joy again, and her joy shall no man take from her.
Martin Chow and Margaret Martin at the same time found the power of the Lord present to heal them; as did Eleanor Gambel the Thursday
before.
I went with my brother, and Howel Harris, and J. Purdy, to see Molther,
at Islington. I wished George Stonehouse joy of his good bargain; and
left him to justify to my brother the selling of his living. I half
persuaded a Dissenter out of her faith of adherence.
I explained the progress of grace by our Lord's comparison of the
grain of mustard-seed, and the little leaven.
Sat., June 7th. I recommended the woman of Canaan as a pattern of
triumphant importunity. It is plain she had not heard of the doctrine
of stillness.
Mon., June 9th. I dined at Mr. Wild's, in Islington, and rejoiced over a
few unperverted souls. The shepherd, alas, is smitten, and the sheep
are scattered; but not all. God has left himself a very small remnant.
Tues., June 10th. I rode with Maxfield to Bexley, and was greatly
comforted with my brother Piers. The weak stand when the strong
fall. In spite of all the still ones, he had held fast the truth, neither
forsaking the ordinances, nor denying his weak faith.
I went thence to Blendon: no longer Blendon to me. They could hardly
force themselves to be barely civil. I took an hasty leave, and with an
heavy heart, weighed down by their ingratitude, returned to Bexley.
Here I preached the Gospel to a little flock, among whom the grievous
wolves are not entered.
Wed., June 11th. I was constrained to bear my testimony for the last
time at Blendon. Maxfield accompanied me. I desired to speak with
Mrs. Delamotte alone. She did not well know how to refuse, and
walked with me into the hall. I began, "Three years ago God sent me to
call you from the form to the power of godliness. I told you what true
religion was, a new birth, a participation of the divine nature. The way
to this I did not know myself till a year after. Then I showed it to you,
preaching Jesus Christ, and faith in his blood. You know how you
treated me; God soon after called you to a living faith by my ministry.
Then you received me as an angel of God. Where is now the
blessedness you spake of? Whence is this change this jealousy, and fear, and coldness? Why are you thus impatient to hear me speak?"
She offered several times to leave me; said, "She did not know what I
meant; did not want to dispute," &c. "I do not come to dispute: why are you afraid of me? What have I done? You gave as a reason for not
seeing me in town, that you did not care to be unsettled. Once I
unsettled you through the strength of the Almighty, stirred you up
from your lees, took you off your own works, and grounded you upon
Christ. Other foundation than this can no man lay. I only desire to
settle you more firmly upon Him, to warn you against the danger of
being removed from the hope of the Gospel. Our brethren, whom now
you follow, are making a schism in the church: follow them not in this."
She would not bear any more, but hurried into the parlour. When I
came in, Betty left it; but afterwards returned. She has not been at the
sacrament for several months. I warned them against casting off the
ordinances, which were divine commands, binding all, whether
justified or unjustified.
They continually interrupted me, asking why I talked to them. I
answered, "Because I durst not forbear, but must deliver my own
soul." Betty said she had received great benefit from Molther, and
should therefore hear none but him. I told her, I had nothing to say
against her hearing him, unless when he spoke against the ordinances.
Upon their again and again bidding me silence, I asked, "Do you,
therefore, at this time, in the presence of Jesus Christ, acquit, release,
and discharge me from any farther care, concern, or regard for your
souls? Do you desire I would never more speak unto you in His
name?" Betty frankly answered," Yes." Mrs. Delamotte assented by her silence. "Then here," said. I, "I take my leave of you, till we meet at the judgment-seat." With these words I rendered up my charge to God.
"Then said I," after leaving them, "I have laboured in vain, I have spent my strength for nought; yet surely my judgment is with the Lord, and
my work with my God." Surely this is enough to wean and make me
cease from man. With Blendon I give up all expectation of gratitude
upon earth. Vanity of vanities, all is vanity, even friendship itself.
I rode on softly to Eltham, cast out by my dearest friends. I pray God it
may not be laid to theirs, or their seducers', charge! Pity and grief for them was uppermost in my heart; and these were much relieved by
the scripture that first offered: "And Paul went down, and fell on him,
and, embracing him, said, Trouble not yourselves, for his life is in him."
I returned to be exercised by our still brethren's contradiction. My
brother proposed new-modelling the bands, and setting by
themselves those few who were still for the ordinances. Great clamour
was raised by this proposal. The noisy still-ones well knew that they
had carried their point, by wearying out the sincere once, scattered
among them, one or two in a band of disputers, who had harassed and
sawn them asunder; so that a remnant is scarcely left. They grudged
us even this remnant, which would soon be all their own, unless
immediately rescued out of their hands. Benjamin Ingham seconded
us; and obtained that the names should be called over, and as many as
were aggrieved put into new bands.
We gathered up our wreck: for nine out of ten are swallowed up in the
dead sea of stillness. O, why was not this done six months ago? How
fatal was our delay and false moderation! "Let them alone, and they
will soon be weary, and come to themselves of course," said one, - one
man, by delaying, has restored the state to us! I tremble at the
consequence. Will they submit themselves to every ordinance of man,
who refuse subjection to the ordinances of God? I told them plainly I
SHOULD ONLY CONTINUE WITH THEM SO LONG AS THEY
CONTINUED IN THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND. My every word was
grievous to them. I am a thorn in their sides, and they cannot bear me.
They modestly denied that we had any but hearsay proof of their
denying the ordinances. I asked them all and every one, particularly
Bray, Bell, &c., whether they would now acknowledge them to be
commands or duties; whether they sinned in omitting them; whether
they did not leave it to every man's fancy to use them or not; whether
they did not exclude all from the Lord's table, excepting those whom
they called believers. These questions I put too close to be evaded;
though better dodgers never came out of the school of Loyola. Honest
Bell and some others spoke out, and insisted upon their antichristian
liberty. The rest put by their stillness, and delivered me over to Satan
for a blasphemer, a very Saul, (for to him they compare me,) out of
blind zeal persecuting the church of Christ.
Thur., June 12th. The power of the Lord was present in his word, both
to wound and heal. The adversary roared in the midst of the
congregation; for to him, and not to the God of order, do I impute
those horrible outcries which almost drowned my voice, and kept
back the glad tidings from sinners.
Fri., June 13th. At Wapping some so disturbed us by their outcries,
that my preaching was vain. Those who cried, "Away with them," I
rebuked; but wish for the sake of all, and myself also, that, if it be the
will of God, this stumbling-block may be removed.
At the time of intercession, we were carried out for all mankind,
especially for our own Church and nation, and the little flock which
God is gathering. I prayed believing, that Satan might not destroy his
work, as in the last age, by that spirit of rebellion and enthusiasm
which is so visible in our deluded brethren.
Mon., June 16th. M. Sparrow carried me to Eltham, where I called to
many, in King John's chapel, "Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to
the waters." It was indeed a solemn assembly. We found God had
formerly recorded his name there, and that was one place of meeting
Him. Several of the assembly-ladies heard me patiently, while I
showed them they were in no wise better than the harlots and
publicans.
Tues., June 17th. I had an extraordinary meeting of the Society, now
increased from twelve to three hundred, most of them justified; and
took my leave of them with hearty prayer.
Wed., June 18th. I set out at two for Oxford, with brother Maxfield, and
a nephew I was going to prentice at Bristol. We stopped half-an-hour
at brother Hodge's; lost our way through Kensington; baited an hour
at Gerard's-cross. Three miles short of Wycombe, several people met,
and asked us if we had seen an highwayman, who had shot a man on
the road, not an hour ago. In a mile's riding, we found the poor man
weltering in his blood. The Minister of Wycombe informed us, that he
was a little behind, and heard the highwayman threaten to shoot him,
if he did not deliver his money that instant. He answered, "You shall
have all the money I have; but it is not much;" and the other, without any more words, shot him through the head.
I could not but observe the particular providence of God over us. Had
we not delayed in the morning, had we not called on Hodges, had we
not stopped at Gerard's-cross, we had just met the murderer.
Thur., June 19th. Hearing he was apprehended at a farrier's, his horse
having cast a shoe, I went this morning to tell him, Christ died to save
murderers; but his heart was harder than the nether millstone.
By noon we came to Oxford. I called on M. Ford, and found her shut up.
She besought me not to speak in the Society, not to make disturbances
and divisions, &c. I told her, I spoke no other words than I had from
the beginning; whence then her unusual apprehensions Mr. Simpson's
presence accounted for it. Wherever he comes, his first business is to
supplant us, which he does by insinuating himself, under the
appearance of our friend.
To the Society I described the stillness of the first Christians; (Acts
2:42;) who continued in the Apostles' doctrine, and in fellowship, and
in breaking of bread, and in prayers.
Fri., June 20th. At the desire of some Baptists in Maimsbury, I
expounded Rom. vii.; but not at all to their satisfaction. They could not
see any higher state of perfection than what is there described.
Sat., June 21st. Such an unaccountable heaviness came over me on the
road, that I was forced to light and lie down for a quarter of an hour. I
rose refreshed with this little sleep, and rode forward till we met a
poor old man of eighty: was enabled to preach the Gospel to his heart.
We left him looking up to Jesus, and went on praising God.
My first greeting in Kingswood was by one of our colliers' daughters. I
then rejoiced with William Hooper and Hannah Cennick. In the
evening at the Malt-room I addressed myself to those in the
wilderness. O what simplicity is in this childlike people! A spirit of
contrition and love ran through them. Here the seed has fallen upon
good ground.
Sun., June 22nd. I went to learn Christ among our colliers, and drank
into their spirit. We rejoiced for the consolation. O that our London brethren would come to school to Kingswood! These are what they
pretend to be. God knows their poverty; but they are rich; and daily
entering into rest, without being first brought into conclusion. They
do not hold it necessary to deny the weak faith, in order to get the
strong. Their soul truly waiteth still upon God, in the way of his
ordinances. Ye many masters, come learn Christ of these outcasts; for
know, except ye be converted, and become like these little children, ye
cannot enter into the kingdom of heaven.
I met several of those whom I had baptized, and found them grown in
grace. Some thousands waited for me at Rose-green, to whom I
expounded Ezek. 16. And surely the Lord passed by, and said to some
in their blood," Live." I concluded the day at the men's love-feast.
Peace, unity, and love are here. We did not forget our poor distracted
brethren that were, till the Moravians came.
How ought I to rejoice at my deliverance out of their hands and spirit!
My soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowler. Leave, break
out, escape. And did I not love the lambs of Christ, indeed, the
grievous wolves, I would see your face no more.
I am no longer a debtor of the Gospel to you. Me ye have fairly
discharged; but if you reject my testimony, others receive it gladly, and
say, "Blessed be he that cometh in the name of the Lord."
Tues., June 24th. I preached Christ, the way, the truth, and the life, to
one thousand little children at Kingswood. At the room I proceeded in
St. John. Some were present who fancy themselves elect, and therefore
sink back into their old tempers. Without meddling in the dispute, I
rebuked them sharply, yet in much love. I read my Journal to the
bands, as an antidote to stillness.
Thur., June 26th. I saw Mrs. T_____ under the buffetings of Satan, to
whom she is plainly delivered over, for her pride and envy. O that she
may learn hence not to blaspheme, or mimic the Spirit of God, with
her imaginary experiences!
In my farther exposition of Ezek. 16, the secrets of many hearts were
revealed. When some cried out, I bade the people be quiet, that Satan
might lose his end. Those noisy souls I believed sincere; but he tormented them to make them confound the work, and hinder the
word of God. Immediately, as if his device was discovered, the enemy
withdrew, and the outcries ceased.
Sat., June 28th. I met the bands in Kingswood, and reproved Hannah
Barrow before them all. She would not be convinced of her pride; but
was sure she had the witness of the Spirit, and the seal, and what not.
I tremble to think what will be the end.
Sun., June 29th. I found the spirit of the colliers before I began to
speak. Then my mouth was opened to declare the promise of
sanctification, in Ezekiel. I gave the sacrament to about eighty colliers;
exhorted the last-baptized; met the men-Leaders; preached to the
usual congregation at Rose-green; and returned without strength to
the Horsefair.
When I am weak, then I am strong; and was never more enlarged, nor
I think so much, as in speaking from that scripture: "Holding forth the
word of life, that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run
in vain, neither laboured in vain." Many in that hour found heaven
begun upon earth.
Mon., June 30th. I spent a week at Oxford to little purpose but that of
obedience to man for the Lord's sake. In the Hall I read my two
lectures on Psalm 130, preaching repentance towards God and faith in
Jesus Christ. But learned Gallio cared for none of these things.
Yet even in this place God did not leave himself without witnesses. He
began to call them forth; but where are they now all scattered by
those refiners on Christianity who make the cross of none effect, and
forbid men to remember God in his ways. Therefore, when I came in
the name of the Lord Jesus, there was no man; when I called them to
Him, there was none to answer; or at most a score, out of the
multitude which Mr. Viney found.
Sun., July 6th. I preached at Stanton-Harcourt in the morning, at
Southleigh in the afternoon; then expounded blind Bartimeus at Mr.
G.'s. The next evening I discoursed on the good Samaritan.
Tues., July 8th. I came to Malmsbury with Mr. Robson; and the next
day to Bristol. I met the Lord among his people. Brother Robson said,
"It is good for me to be here;" and that the half had not been told him of God's goodness to this little flock.
Fri., July 11th. This morning he preached on Lazarus raised, with the
demonstration of the Spirit. I carried him to Kingswood: he was in
love with our colliers.
Sat., July 12th. I passed the afternoon with them. They grow in grace,
and in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. We cannot be among
them, and not perceive the divine presence.
Sun., July 13th. I gave the sacrament to above seventy of them,
different from those who received the last time. I preached at Rose
green on the fall of man. (Gen. 3). I dare not depart from the work,
while God so strengthens me therein. We walked over the waste to the
school, singing and rejoicing. It was their love-feast. Two hundred
were assembled in the Spirit of Jesus. Never have I seen and felt such a
congregation of faithful souls. I question whether Hernhuth can now
afford the like.
Tues., July 15th. To the colliers I described, what many of them have
experienced, religion, a participation of the divine nature. At Bristol I
pressed the example of the primitive Christians, (Acts 4,) and tasted
something of their spirit.
Wed., July 16th. I was convincing the natural man of sin, when a poor
sinner cried out vehemently, "What do you mean by looking at me,
and directing yourself to me, and telling me I shall be damned" I did
then address myself to him; but he hurried away with the utmost
precipitation.
At the time of intercession, the Spirit greatly helped our infirmities.
We began with particulars; but at last were enlarged in prayer for all
mankind. I dissuaded one who was strongly tempted to leave the
fellowship. The devil knows what he does: Divide and rule, will carry
the world before him.
While I was meeting the bands, my mouth was opened to rebuke,
reprove, exhort, in words not my own. All trembled before the
presence of God. I was forced to cut off a rotten member; but I felt
such love and pity at the time, as humbled me into the dust. It was as if one criminal was made to execute another. We betook ourselves to
fervent prayer for him, and the Society. The Spirit was poured out; and
we returned unto the Lord in weeping, and mourning, and praying.
Thur., July 17th. I admitted near thirty new members into the Society.
Sun., July 20th. Our poor colliers being repelled from the Lord's table,
by most of the Bristol Ministers, I exhorted them, notwithstanding, to
continue daily with one accord in the temple; where the wickedest
administrator can neither spoil the prayers, nor poison the sacrament.
These poor sinners have ears to hear.
Wed., July 23rd. I talked with Mrs. T - , who justifies God, and the
wisdom of his children, taking shame to herself, and confessing that
spiritual pride was the sole occasion of her fall.
In the bands I reproved one who was fallen asleep again, and yet
horribly confident she was in a good way, and should go to heaven if
she died that moment. I tried the weapons of our warfare upon her
strong-holds, and pulled them down, to the conviction of all but
herself. At last she raged and tore like a mad woman; this child of God,
with her full assurance of faith! I showed the rest, through her, the
deceitfulness of the heart, and the blinding power of Satan.
Thur., July 24th. I went to see her, lest Satan should get irrecoverable
advantage over her. She was more mode-rate, but still in the false
assurance of unbelief, in the spirit of self-delusion. What an exertion
of omnipotence does such a soul require to re-awaken it!
At night I took occasion, from Acts 7, to discourse on the sin of
resisting the Holy Ghost. It sent the word home to many souls.
Sun., July 27th. I heard a miserable sermon at Temple church,
recommending religion as the most likely way to raise a fortune. After
it, proclamation was made, "that all should depart who were not of the
parish." While the shepherd was driving away the lambs, I stayed,
suspecting nothing, till the Clerk came to me, and said, "Mr. Beacher
bids you go away, for he will not give you the sacrament." I went to the
vestry-door, and mildly desired Mr. Beacher to admit me. He asked,
"Are you of this parish?" I answered, "Sir, you see I am a Clergyman."
Dropping his first pretence, he charged me with rebellion in
expounding the Scriptures without authority; and said in express
words, "I repel you from the sacrament." I replied, "I cite you to answer this before Jesus Christ at the day of judgment." This enraged
him above measure. He called out, "Here, take away this man!" The
Constables were ordered to attend, I suppose lest the furious soldiers
should take the sacrament by force: but I saved them the trouble of
taking away this man, and quietly retired.
I preached the Gospel in Kingswood with double power, from Isai. 40:
"Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God." Before sermon, I declared our brother Cennick's entire agreement with me in the belief
of universal redemption; and he confirmed my saying with an hymn of
his own. Never did I find my spirit more knit to him.
At Rose-green, though my bodily strength was gone, I was carried out
beyond myself in speaking of God's free-grace to sinners.
Mon., July 28th. I spoke searchingly on those words of our Lord:
"Nevertheless, I tell you the truth; it is expedient for you that I go
away; for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come," &c.
Tues., July 29th. One, pestered with the predestinarians, desired me to
expound Rom. 9. I did, through Christ strengthening me, in an
extraordinary manner. The poor creature Wildboar contradicted and
blasphemed, and even called for damnation upon his own soul, if
Christ died for all, and if God was willing that all men should be saved.
The power of the Lord was present so much the more. Many believed
with their heart, and made confession with their mouth, of Jesus
Christ the Saviour of all men. I have not known a more triumphant
night since I knew Bristol.
Sun., August 3rd. I preached Jesus Christ to the colliers from lsai. 63:
"Who is this that cometh from Edom, with dyed garments from
Bozrah?" Great power was in the midst. Many wept. I myself was
much affected. At Rose-green my text was, "Drop down, ye heavens,
from above, and let the skies pour down righteousness." It rained
hard: but that did not interrupt their attention. I was comforted at the
women's love-feast.
Tues., August 5th. I talked sharply to Jenny Dechumps, a girl of twelve years old; who now confessed that her fits and cryings out (above
thirty of them) were all feigned, that Mr. Wesley might take notice of
her.
Wed., August 6th. In great heaviness I spoke to the women-bands, as
taking my farewell: sang the hymn which begins, -
"While sickness shakes the house of clay,
And, sapp'd by pain's continued course,
My nature hastens to decay,
And waits the fever's friendly force."
After speaking a few faint words to the brethren, I was immediately
taken with a shivering; and then the fewer came. The next morning I
was bled, and carried by M. Hooper to her house. There I looked into
the Bible, and met with, "The Lord will strengthen him upon the bed
of languishing, thou wilt make all his bed in his sickness." My pain and
disease increased for ten days; so that there was no hope of my life:
but then Jesus touched my hand, and rebuked the fever, and it left me.
I had no apprehension of death myself. It was reported I was dead,
and published in the papers: but God had not finished (O that he had
effectually begun!) his work in me: therefore he held my soul in life;
and made all things work together for my recovery.
Dr. Middleton, an utter stranger to me, God raised up, and sent to my
assistance. He refused taking any fees, and told the Apothecary he
would pay for my physic, if I could not. He attended me constantly, as
the divine blessing did his prescriptions; so that in less than a
fortnight the danger was over.
For the next fortnight I recovered slowly, but had little use of my legs,
and none of my head. One of our comers, taken ill of the same fever
since me, has died in full triumph of faith.
When I was just able to stand, my brother came from London. We rode
out most days in Mr. Wane's, or an hired, chariot, comparing our dense
temptations and deliverances.
I found myself, after this gracious visitation, more desirous and able to pray; more afraid of sin, more earnestly longing for deliverance, and
the fulness of Christian salvation.
September 7 - December 31, 1740
Sun., September 7th. As soon as my bodily weakness would permit, I
returned to my old hours of retirement; but with fear, and earnest
prayer that I might not rest in my own works or endeavours. Mr.
Cary's Curate informed us, that Mr. Cary had ordered him to repel my
brother and me from the sacrament.
Wed., September 10th. It rained all day, but cleared up when I went to
the bands. A few words I spoke in great weakness; and they seemed
not spoken in vain.
Mon., September 15th. I passed two or three days at Mr. Arthur's, in
Kingswood, and, by the blessing of God, recovered the use of my
understanding, which was so clouded, that I could neither read nor
think.
Thur., September 18th. Out of weakness I was made strong to preach
at the room to-night; not for a quarter of an hour, as I proposed, but
for an hour and an half.
Fri., September 19th. "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their
strength." So I found it this morning, both in soul and body. At night I
was enabled to preach Anne Hodges's funeral sermon.
Mon., September 22nd. I was setting out for the Downs, when one
asked me to ride out toward Mr. Willis's. At the end of the town I was
informed the colliers were risen. Above one thousand of them I met at
Lawrence-hill They came about me, and saluted me very
affectionately, not having seen me since my sickness. The occasion of
their rising, they told me, was the dearness of corn. I got to an
eminence, and began speaking to them. Many seemed inclined to go
back with me to the school; but the devil stirred up his oldest
servants, who violently rushed upon the others, beating, and tearing,
and driving them away from me. I rode up to a ruffian who was
striking one of our colliers, and prayed him rather to strike me. He
would not, he said, for all the world; and was quite overcome. I turned
upon one who struck my horse, and he also sank into a lamb.
Wherever I turned, Satan lost ground; so that he was obliged to make
one general assault, and, by the few violent colliers, forced on the
quiet ones into the town.
I seized on one of the tallest, and earnestly besought him to follow me:
that he would, he said, all the world over. About six more I pressed
into Christ's service. We met several parties; stopped and exhorted
them to join us. We gleaned a few from every company, and grew as
we marched along singing to the school. From one till three we spent
in prayer that evil might be prevented, and the lion chained. Then
news was brought us that the colliers were returned in peace. They
had quietly walked into the city, without sticks, or the least violence. A
few of the better sort went to the Mayor, and told their grievance: then
they all returned as they came, without noise or disturbance. All who
saw were amazed; for the leopards were laid down. Nothing could
have more shown the change wrought in them than this rising.
I found afterwards that all our colliers to a man had been forced in it.
Having learned of Christ not to resist evil, they went a mile with those
that compelled them rather than free themselves by violence. One the
rioters dragged out of his sick-bed, and threw him into the Fishponds:
near twenty of Mr. Willis's men they got by threatening to fill up their
pits, and bury them alive, if they did not come up and bear them
company.
Tues., September 23rd. Mr. W. Seward came, and was very cordial. We
prayed, rejoiced, and gave thanks. If I did not love him the better for
his opinion, I am sure it made me more industrious to confirm my old
love towards him.
I carried him to Mr. Wane's, and then to our colliers; before whom I set
the things they would have done in the late rising, had not grace
restrained them. One poor man declared, when they forced him away,
he would much more willingly have gone to the gallows.
Mr. Seward spoke a few words to them, which did not convince me of
his call to preach. In our return, he told me Mrs. Grevil and others had
urged him to claim the room in the Horse-fair; but he abhorred their
baseness.
Wed., September 24th. He told me he was in a mist; the Baptists last night having laboured hard to make him oppose me publicly. Before
we parted, all was set right again. Yet a few hours after, he came from
them, and utterly renounced both me and my brother, in bitter words
of hatred, which they had put in his mouth. I pray God lay not this sin
to their charge, neither all the weakness of word and action which
ensued for the following days.
God endues my soul and body also with much strength. This day he
has comforted me on every side. To Him be all the glory.
Fri., September 26th. I was greatly assisted in the evening to preach
the Christian perfection, that is, utter dominion over sin; constant
peace, and love, and joy in the Holy Ghost; the full assurance of faith,
righteousness, and true holiness. I see more and more into the height
of our privileges, and that God will give them to me.
Sun., September 28th. At the sacrament I received power to believe sin
shall not have dominion over me. I reached many hearts in
expounding blind Bartimeus. Our love-feast was such as deserved the
name. We all rejoiced in hope of the glory of God.
Mon., September 29th. God was wonderfully with our assembly, and
opened my eyes to see the promise of holiness, or perfection, not in
some, but in almost every, scripture.
Thur., October 2nd. I rejoiced to hear that M. Puruell was on Sunday
morning, under the word, taken into the very borders of Canaan. The
patient abiding of the meek shall not perish for ever.
Sun., October 5th. I offered myself at the sacrament, and was not
refused, though Mr. Cary himself administered. I received it with
comfort.
Mon., October 6th. I prayed by Margaret Thomas. At my first visit, she
hoped her sins were forgiven. Now she more than hoped it, having
received the faith which works by love, and filial fear of offending.
I met the Leaders; and endeavoured to humble one who begins to
grow rich, not by denying what God has done for his soul, but by
showing him he could no more trust to his graces than his works, but
must still come to Christ as a poor sinner that has need of all things.
Wed., October 8th. I took down the case of Catherine Hyfield. She was
charged with robbing her master (one Townsend) of £800; whose
dying wife my brother had visited. Alderman Day, &c., threatened to
put her in irons, &c., if she would not confess she had given the money
to my brother. When no proof could be brought against her, they were
forced to discharge her: and soon after, her master found the money
where himself had lodged it.
Thur., October 9th. I was much revived by the sight of Margaret
Thomas, dying in the highest triumph of faith. I could not help asking,
"Is this the soul so late weigh'd down
By cares and sins, by griefs and pains
Whither are all thy terrors gone
Jesus for thee the victory gains,
And death, and sin, and Satan yield
To faith's unconquerable shield."
Her hope was now full of immortality. She had no desire of life or
death, or ease in her great pain. God had finished his work; and her
will was quite swallowed up in his. This is that holiness without which
no one shall see the Lord.
Fri., October 10th. I prayed by Mrs. Purnell, who patiently waits for the
seal of her pardon. At night I spoke strongly to the unawakened; and,
behold, a cry! but such as became poor lost sinners. Great was the
stirring among the dry bones.
Sun., October 12th. From Isai. 64. I was assisted to stir up those who
had settled upon their lees, since they were justified. I visited
Margaret, now at the haven where she would be, and only waiting the
word, "Come up hither!" Her spirit helped me wonderfully in prayer.
She told me, she had been heard in my behalf, and God would give me
an humble heart.
Mon., October 13th. I breakfasted and gave an exhortation to some of
our friends. One seemed so deeply affected, that her outcries much interrupted me. I took no notice of her, seeing she could not help it;
only said at last, "I do not think the better of you for this;" and
immediately her trouble was over, and she hushed and unconcerned
as before.
Wed., October l4th. At the intercession, our casting down was in the
midst of us. O that I was always as I am sometimes! But a fit or start of
humility is not to be depended on.
Thur., October 16th. I rejoiced in an opportunity of heaping coals of
fire upon the head of an enemy. Poor Mitchel, arrested by Charles
Martin, sent me first a reproaching, and then a begging, letter. I paid
his debt, and won him at a very moderate price.
Fri., October 17th. I prayed by Mrs. Purnell, near death. She had no
fear, and no assurance of pardon; but believed she should know her
sins forgiven before she went hence. I called again at noon; and then
the Lord had showed her his salvation, and she could confidently
testify, "God for Christ's sake hath forgiven me."
Sun., October 19th. I called on a dying man, who told me he hoped to
be saved through Christ, because he was one of the worst of sinners.
"If that be your plea," said I, "you must be damned without all remedy." I proceeded to set before him the spirituality of the law, and
the terrors of the Lord. He fought hard against God, often repeating
the words of his predecessor, "I am not like other men," reproaching my Master, not me, and refusing to humble himself under the mighty
hand of God. He told me he never desired to see me more; yet, when I
offered to go, he desired me to pray by him. I did, in faith, that God
might open his eyes to see himself the chief of sinners. He begged me
to call again.
I gave the sacrament to Mrs. Purnell; who, after receiving the cup,
cried, "It is!" I visited her once more in her last conflict; yet, even then, by plain signs expressing her confidence. She held out till Wednesday
morning, October 22nd; and then departed to the church triumphant.
I met the Leaders, and removed one, (J. W.) who was much lifted up,
but lay concealed from herself by a voluntary humility. She cheerfully
resigned an office which she owned herself so unfit for; yet,
afterwards, I heard, complained, with many tears, that I should think
ill of her from the report of others. The next day she was taken with a
fit of humility, and bade a sister go and tell it me. "Anybody now," she said, "might trample upon me: do you, pray, trample upon me; but tell
Mr. Wesley." Verily, "the heart is deceitful above all things. Who can know it"
Thur., October 23rd. I met several of the bands at the house of our
departed sister Purnell, and solemnly rejoiced over her, with singing. I
walked with the funeral as far as the church; then hastened back to
the room, where lay the corpse of Margaret. Her spirit was, with the
other's, returned to God. A wonderful power accompanied the word
preached, 1 Cor. 15. O what triumph did we find in the house of
mourning! Many strangers were convinced. The Society attended her
to the grave, and praised God with joyful lips for her translation.
Fri., October 24th. I was greatly enlarged in enforcing that promise,
"The Lord knoweth how to deliver out of temptation." I showed them
the only infallible way to conquer sin, namely, "Sin shall not have
dominion over me, because I believe in Jesus Christ that it shall not." A poor drunkard believed, and had a witness that he shall no more turn
back to his own wickedness.
Sun., October 26th. I heard Mr. Tucker's (not railing)accusation
against the Methodists, "that they went contrary to custom; did not
catechise their children; did not reform men in the regular way." He
told us farther, what Mr. Whitefield would say when he returned from
Georgia; and concluded with an excellent quotation out of Mr. Law. I
offered my assistance at the sacrament, which he civilly declined.
Mon., October 27th. I met a young gentlewoman who was never under
the word till the night of our triumphant funeral. Then it laid hold on
her heart: yet I could not persuade her to expect the promise, till she
had endeavoured, and mourned, and waited longer.
In the evening I set the terrors of the Lord in array against sinners,
and an horrible dread overwhelmed some of them. May the law be
their schoolmaster to bring them to Christ.
Tues., October 28th. I was exceedingly shocked with the news of Mr.
Seward's death: but he is taken from the evil; rescued out of the hands
of wicked men. Calling on the Pharisee whom I had visited last week, I
found him dead; but at the last hour he had cried unto Jesus, as a poor,
undone sinner, who was like other men.
I was led in the evening to preach universal redemption from those
words, "The Lord is not willing that any should perish, but that all
should come to repentance." The Spirit mightily confirmed that
irresistible truth. I then spoke with unfeigned concern of our dear
departed brother; and with just abhorrence of those unhappy bigots,
whose headlong zeal had robbed us of him. We sang a funeral hymn
over him, and were comforted in the hope of soon meeting him again,
where no sower of tares, no reprobating Pharisee, shall ever part us
more.
Fri., October 31st. The time for my going to Wales is now come. To-day
Captain Philips challenged me; said he came to fetch me; and Mr. Wells
invited me to preach in his churches.
I passed an hour with two very wise Quakers, who were for inverting
the order of God, and making Christ our sanctification before he is our
righteousness. The true Light, I trust, will one day teach them better.
Tues., November 4th. At Kingswood Mr. Cennick showed me a letter
from Howel Harris, wherein he justified poor Mr. Seward, and talked
of declaring against us himself. With the loss of him and all things, I
am commanded to preach the Gospel to every creature. I did so to the
colliers, from Titus 2:11; and was carried out more than ever before,
till all were drowned in tears of love.
While I was testifying Christ died for all, Mr. Cennick, in the hearing of
many, gave me the lie. I calmly told him afterwards, "If I speak not the
truth as it is in Jesus, may I decrease, and you increase."
Thur., November 6th. At six I took boat for Cardiff, and at six in the
evening landed on Welsh ground with the voice of praise and
thanksgiving. Mr. Wells, who invited me over, waited to give me the
first greeting. From his house we went to the Society, where God
opened my mouth to call, "Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the
waters." They received the word with all readiness.
I lodged at Mr. Glascot's.
Fri., November 7th. I rode with Mr. Williams to St. Andrew's, a little
town four Welsh miles from Cardiff. Mr. Wells was not afraid to trust
me in his pulpit. I was greatly assisted to invite many poor sinners to
come weary and heavy laden to Christ. They gladly received my
saying. Mr. Hodges desired me to preach next Tuesday in his church at
Wenvo. I returned to Cardiff rejoicing; and expounded I John 1, to the
conviction, I hope, of many.
Sat., November 8th. I had an opportunity to moderate the spirits of
some who were greatly exasperated against Howel Harris, for
preaching predestination among them. After church I waited with Mr.
Wells on the sick Minister; who was extremely civil, invited me to
dinner, and to preach in his pulpit morning and evening. I spent the
day in singing and close conference, with some who would fain
persuade themselves they had faith, without forgiveness. My Master, I
trust, will soon persuade them that they have both together.
Sun., November 9th. At six I explained the legal state, from Rom. vii. I
read prayers, and preached to a large congregation, "All have sinned
and come short of the glory of God." I administered the sacrament to
many strangers. I read prayers in the afternoon, baptized a child, and
preached both law and Gospel with great plainness. My hearers were
surprisingly patient. Only one went out. I continued my discourse till
it was dark; and had much comfort in having delivered my message.
The scripture to be expounded at night was, 1 John 2: "If any man sin,
we have an advocate with the Father," &c. God opened my mouth to
declare the truth of his everlasting love to all mankind. At the same
time he enlarged my heart to its opposers. I took the occasion to speak
of Howel Harris; bore such a testimony of him as he deserves; and
mildly upbraided them for their ingratitude toward the greatest
benefactor their country ever had. We all expressed our love by
joining in hearty prayer for him.
Mon., November 10th. I set out for St. Nicholas; called at Llandaff on
the then officiating Minister, to ask the pulpit. He referred me to the
Chapter; but I do not mean to trouble them. The church at St. Nicholas, also, was shut against me; but we met at a neighbouring house, Mr.
Deer's, where I offered Christ to all sinners, with much freedom and
power.
At Cardiff I spoke a word in season to one (Sus. Young) who was
puffed up, and boasted of her graces, and took upon her to teach
others. l told her she had deceived her own soul, and brought a
scandal on religion. She flew out into self-justification: God knew her
heart, would not quench the smoking flax, &c. But I cut her short, and,
with six plain words, God accompanying them with his power, struck
her down into the deep. She cried out, "I am damned, I am damned,"
and was stripped of all, as in one moment.
I sent a messenger to Howel Harris, with the following letter: "My
dearest Friend and Brother, - In the name of Jesus Christ I beseech
you, if you have his glory and the good of souls at heart, come
immediately, and meet me here. I trust we shall never be two in time
or eternity. O my brother, I am grieved that Satan should get a
moment's advantage over us; and am ready to lay my neck under your
feet for Christ's sake. If your heart is as my heart, hasten, in the name
of our dear Lord, to your second self,
"C. WESLEY."
Tues., November 11th. The church at Wenvo was full as it could hold,
while I preached the Gospel from the good Samaritan. All were visibly
affected. I went to Mr. Hodges; took sweet counsel with him and Mr.
Wells. The former, at parting, in great simplicity desired my prayers
and a kiss.
Wed., November 12th. In Lanissan church I preached on, "Repent, and
believe the Gospel." Our Lord was never more with me than at this
time. I concluded with earnest prayer for the Curate. I dined at Mr.
Wells's with several of the brethren, and Mr. Thomas, a neighbouring
Curate of great simplicity, who preaches not himself, but Christ Jesus
the Lord.
Thur., November 13th. I went with reluctance to the prisoners, almost
despairing to do any good, when I received faith to believe Christ
would be with me. I looked up to him; and never preached the Gospel with greater freedom. Two women fell down as dead. The infection
ran through us all, and we felt that the Gospel was indeed the power of
God.
The three Ministers, Mr. Wells, Hodges, and Thomas, made part of my
evening congregation; to whom I showed in strong words the
blessedness of persecution.
Fri., November 14th. I rode with Mr. Hodges to Micelston-Lepil. He
read prayers: I preached Christ from, "Who is this that cometh from
Edom with dyed garments." &c. He was evidently set forth before our
eyes as crucified. I rode back in the spirit of triumph. I heard the
players had sent me a challenge; that is, a ticket and invitation to their
play. Suffice for the time past. I now serve another Master.
Sat., November 15th. At Mr. Price's, in Watford, I preached "Christ our
wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption;" and again at
five with double power. An Arian Minister of our own Church, and a
Baptist teacher, were present. The latter could not allow either
justification or sanctification necessary to salvation.
Sun., November 16th. Mr. Williams informed me that many had bound
themselves with a curse to make a disturbance in the church, and not
suffer me to preach. Then the Clerk told me I as not to preach in the
afternoon. I answered, I had not expected to preach there in the
morning, or, indeed, a second time.
The Psalms began, "O God, the Heathen are come into thine
inheritance; thy holy temple have they defiled."
The Second Lesson was very animating, being John 8; that earnest
contention of our Lord with the Pharisees.
My text was, "If God be for us, who can be against us?" I began
abruptly with the opposers, and defied them in the name of the Lord
Jesus. The Spirit of power was with me; but I soon perceived him as
the Spirit of love; and besought those unhappy sinners to be
reconciled unto God. Their master durst not hazard their staying any
longer; but, in the midst of my discourse, hurried them out of church.
I went on convincing and entreating the Pharisees to submit to the righteousness of God. Never was my mouth and heart more enlarged.
Upon my repeating, "It pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to
save all them that believe," a gentleman rose, and turned his back on
the Gospel of his salvation. I called after him in vain; then earnestly
prayed for him and the rest, the Spirit helping my infirmity.
I read prayers in the afternoon. Many hungry souls were disappointed
through my not preaching. I sent them to the Society. Several players
were present, but quickly fled before the sword of the Spirit. When we
were departing, Mr. Wells stopped us to hear his unexpected apology
for me. He strongly enforced the truths I had delivered; and, with
great humility, asked me to set him right, if he had spoken ought
contrary to sound doctrine.
Mon., November 17th. Again my mouth was opened to preach the law
and the Gospel at Llantrissent. Mr. Harris, the Minister, was exceeding
civil. He had been dealt with to refuse me the pulpit, but would not
Break his word.
Tues., November 18th. I preached at St. Bride's, "Thou shalt call his
name Jesus," &c. Here, too, I east my net to catch the fisher. We were setting out from the public-house when God brought Howel Harris to
us. All misunderstandings vanished at sight of each other, and our
hearts were knit together as at the beginning. We sang an hymn of
triumph. God had prepared his heart for this meeting. At the
sacrament he had found the spirit of martyrdom falling upon him, and
immediately I was brought to his remembrance. His heart overflowed
with love, and he thought we were going hand in hand to the stake.
Before the Society, several were with me, desiring me, now I had
gotten him, to reprove him openly. Some wanted me to preach against
lay-preaching; some against predestination, &c. In my discourse on
Isai. xl., a gentleman, who had come thither on purpose, interrupted
me, by desiring I would now speak to Mr. Harris, since I was sent for to
disprove his errors, and Mr. Wells, an experienced Clergyman, sat by
to moderate between us. God gave me immediate recollection. I
smiled at Satan's impudence; but turned aside the question with
mildness, and thanks to the proposer. In vain he urged me to enter the
lists with my friend. I quashed all farther importunity by declaring, "I am unwilling to speak of my brother Howel Harris, because, when I
begin, I know not how to leave off; and should say so much good of
him, as some of you could not bear." The gentleman, disappointed of
his hope, immediately departed.
After this victory over Satan, I proceeded with double power,
addressing myself particularly to the ladies, whose company we were
favoured with because there was no play to-night, I showed them they
were no better than common harlots, if they outwardly differed from
them through pride, not virtue. The Lord open their hearts to receive
my hard saying.
The Captain giving me notice that he should sail the next day, I
determined to spend the night in taking leave. We supped at the
friendly Mr. Wells's, and then called at Captain Philips's. Between ten
and eleven, just as I was going, Satan began to show his wrath at the
many sore disappointments he has met with this very day. He could
not set the children of God against each other, and was therefore
forced to make use of his own. The Physician, who had gone out of
church on Sunday, stirred up by his companions, and unusually heated
with wine, came and demanded satisfaction of me for calling him
Pharisee. I said, "I was ready to acknowledge my mistake, if he would
assure me he had gone out of church to visit his patients." He replied,
"He had gone out because he disliked my discourse." "Then, Sir," said I,
"I cannot ask pardon for telling you the truth." "But you must for calling me a Pharisee." "I still insist you are a Pharisee, and cannot endure sound doctrine. My commission is, to show you your sins; and
I shall make no apology for so doing, to you or any man living. You are
a damned sinner by nature, and a Pharisee, like me: and this
testimony I should bear before rulers and Kings. You are a rebel
against God, and must bow your stiff neck to Him before you can be
forgiven." "How do you know my heart?" "My heart showeth me the wickedness of the ungodly." "Sir, I am as good a Christian as yourself."
"You are no Christian at all, unless you have received the Holy Ghost."
"How do you prove that you have the Holy Ghost?" "By searching your heart, and showing you that you are a Pharisee." Here he lifted up his
cane, and struck me. Mrs. Philips intercepted and broke the blow; F.
Farley tripped up his heels; and the company rushed in between. My soul was immediately filled with the calm, recollected boldness of
faith. There was a great outcry among the women. Several of them he
struck, and hurt, and raged like one possessed, till the men forced him
out, and shut the door.
Soon after, it was broken open by a Justice, and the Bailiff, or head-
Magistrate. The latter began expostulating with me upon the affront
offered the Doctor; and said, "As it was a public injury, I ought to make him public satisfaction." I answered," Mr. Bailiff, I honour you for your office' sake; but was you yourself, or His Majesty King George, among
my hearers, I should tell you both that you are by nature damned
sinners. In the church, while preaching, I have no superior but God;
and shall not ask man leave to show him his sins. As a ruler, it is your
duty to be a terror to evil-doers, but a praise to them that do well."
Upon my thus speaking, he became exceeding civil; assured me of his
good-will, and that he had come to prevent my being insulted; and
none should touch an hair of my head.
While we were talking, the Doctor made another attempt to break in,
and get at me; but the two Justices and others with much trouble at
last got him out. They went; and we continued our triumph in the
name of the Lord our God. The shout of a King was among us. We sang
on unconcerned, though those sons of Belial, the players, had beset
the house. They were armed, and threatened to burn the house. The
ground of their quarrel with me is, that the Gospel has starved them.
We prayed and sang with great tranquillity till one in the morning.
Then I lay down till three; rose again; and was scarce got into the
room, when they discovered a player just by me, who had stole in
unobserved. They seized him, and F. Farley wrested the sword from
him. There was no need of drawing it, for the point and blade were
stripped an hand-breadth of the scabbard.
When the sword was brought in, the spirit of faith was kindled among
us, at sight of the danger. Great was our rejoicing within, and the
uproar of the players without, who strove to force their way after their
companion. My female advisers were by no means for my venturing
out, but deferring my journey. I preferred Mr. Wells's advice of going
with him, through the midst of our enemies. I called in on the poor
creature they had secured. They talked of warrants, prosecutions, &c.
On sight of me he cried, "Indeed, Mr. Wesley, I did not intend to do you
any harm." "That," I answered, "was best known to God, and his own heart: but my principle was, to return good for evil; wherefore I
desired he might be released;" assured him of my good wishes, and
with Mr. Wells walked peaceably to the water-side, no man forbidding
me. Our friends stood on the shore, while we joined in hearty
thanksgiving. The fierceness of men shall turn to thy praise, and the
fierceness of them shalt thou restrain.
Wed., November 19th. Between five and six we were forced to return
for want of water. I found Howel Harris and the flock still at Captain
Philips's, and was strengthened to lay open the promise of
sanctification. (Ezek. 36). I took leave of my dear Howel; and with Mr.
Wells waited upon the Bailiff; acknowledged his last night's civilities;
and left him, as a trophy, the player's sword. In public prayer, Mr. Wells
returned thanks to God for our late deliverance.
At two I took my leave of the Society, and preached the pure Gospel
from the woman of Canaan. A spirit of love constrained me to beseech
them, with tears, to receive Christ Jesus. It ran through all. Some of the
greatest opposers wept, especially a young lady, for whose
entertainment the players had acted me, sang, and prayed, and
trembled exceedingly. The word was as a fire that melteth the rocks. I
saw why God had brought me back. Our parting was such as it ought
to be.
About four, Mr. Wells, &c., attended me to the vessel. I laid me down,
and slept, and took my rest; for it is thou, Lord, only, that makest me
dwell in safety.
Thur., November 20th. By five this morning, He who blest our going
out, blest our coming in to Bristol. I found my brother at the room,
expounding Rom. 9. I confirmed his saying, and gave some account of
my success in Wales. A great power accompanied the word, and I
prayed in the Spirit. I joined with him in administering the sacrament
to a young woman I had baptized, but who had not kept her garments
unspotted. Yet God healed her backslidings, and soon after she
confidently resigned her spirit into the hands of Jesus.
Fri., November 21st. My brother returned to London.
Sun., November 23rd. I was very dead in delivering it, yet the word
was mixed with faith in some that heard it, as they afterwards
testified.
Thur., November 27th. At the Malt-house, the spirit of love and
supplication fell upon me. I was filled with the tenderest concern for
the desolate Church of England; which I could not help expressing
before the congregation in tears, and strong cries to God for her.
Sun., November 30th. I gave the sacrament to our sister Taylor, dying
in triumph. Here is another witness to the truth of our Gospel.
Commend me to a religion upon which I can trust my soul, while
entering into eternity.
I expounded the lesson at Kingswood. It was Hebrews 6. I prayed
Christ our Teacher to enlighten the people and me; and began my
discourse with fear and trembling.
The Spirit gave me utterance. I calmly warned them against apostasy,
and spake with great tenderness and caution. But who can stand
before envy and bigotry? The strong ones were offended. The poison
of Calvin has drunk up their spirit of love. Anne Ayling and Anne Davis
could not refrain from railing. John Cennick never offered to stop
them. Alas! we have set the wolf to keep the sheep! God gave me great
moderation toward him, who, for many months, has been
undermining our doctrine and authority.
Mon., December 1st. I passed two hours at M. Parsons's funeral, and
looked with envy on the corpse in the coffin. Her soul, before it left the
body, was sweetly and fully conscious of its reconciliation with God.
The word has been a saviour of life to her also.
While I was showing the universality of Christ's redemption, the flame
was kindled all around, and the Holy Ghost bore witness with many
consciences.
Tues., December 2nd. I had a conference in Kingswood with Mr.
Cennick and his friends, but could come to no agreement, though I
offered entirely to drop the controversy if he would.
I preached on the three-fold office of Christ, but never with greater power. It constrained even the separatists to own that God was with
us of a truth. I rode back in a glorious storm of thunder, lightning, and
rain. My spirit rejoiced in hope of the glory of God.
He opened my mouth again at the Society; and I spoke in much grief
and love of our desolate mother the Church of England. My heart
yearns towards her when I think upon her ruins, and it pitieth me to
see her in the dust.
Thur., December 4th. I administered the sacrament to Mr. Page,
against hope believing in hope. After receiving, he had power to
believe his sins forgiven.
Fri., December 5th. I was much refreshed in spirit among some of my
friends, the Quakers, by a writer of theirs, who strongly insists on the
perfect death unto sin, and life unto righteousness, which every
Christian experiences. Death must precede life, and condemnation
justification. This he as clearly teaches, as any of our first Reformers.
Sat., December 6th. I wrote my brother a full account of the
predestinarian party, their practices and designs, particularly "to have
a church within themselves, and to give themselves the sacrament in
bread and water."
Sun., December 21st. I took my leave of the colliers in the words of the
great Apostle, (without comparing myself to him,) "And now, Brethren,
I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace." The loving spirit
was mightily among us, and more still at our love-feast, for all the
brethren of Kingswood and Bristol.
Mon., December 22nd. I showed, with demonstration of the Spirit, the
(ordinary) necessity of our being bruised and broken before the
Comforter would abide in us for ever. He who saith, "My work is
before me," set to his seal.
Wed., December 24th. At five I set out for London, which I reached,
with Thomas Maxfield, the next day by five in the afternoon. At six God
renewed my strength to preach the glad tidings to a crowded audience
at the Foundery. Great was our joy in the Lord, and in each other.
Fri., December 26th. I rose at five, without feeling my journey, and expounded Isai 40:9: "O Zion, that bringest good tidings, get thee up
into the high mountain," &c. He spake comfortably to his people by my mouth, though I am nothing.
I talked with one, who has entirely stopped the work of God in her
own soul, by judging of it in others.
A spirit of contrition fell upon me the moment I entered the Society-
room. We made supplication for all men, especially the household of
faith, and that small part of it at Bristol.
Sat., December 27th. From eleven to one I met five or six hundred, to
praise God with the voice of joy and thanksgiving. He hath done great
things for us already, but we shall see greater things than these. I
dined at a Dissenter's, armed cap-a-pie with her faith of adherence,
brim full of the five points, and going on to the perfection of Rom. 7.
At Mr. Craven's, a man abruptly accosted me, "Are you ready to receive
my message?" "Yes," I answered, "if you speak not of yourself." "I speak to you from God."
"Where are your credentials? What proof show you of your divine
commission?" "Nay, nay," said he, "if you cannot receive my saying, I have nothing to do with you. I have delivered my own soul." With
these he flung away, and left his prophecy imperfect.
Sun., December 28th. In the evening the scoffers were very
outrageous. God filled my mouth with threatenings and promises. I
defied and invited them by turns, till he got himself the victory; and I
freely published the glad tidings, "To us a son is born, to us a child is given."
I earnestly warned the bands not to fancy they had new hearts before
they had seen the deceitfulness of the old; not to think they would
ever be above the necessity of praying; not to yield for one moment to
the spirit of judging.
Among my visitants this morning I had a very ingenious person, who
generously proffered to teach me the grand arcanum for the value of
five shillings. Having no need of money, I declined his proffer; but gave
him sixpence, and told him, as he had the art of transmutation, it was the same as if I had given him half a guinea. We had more serious talk
before parting: how to change an heart of stone into an heart of flesh.
Tues., December 30th. I exhorted the Society at Deptford with
convincing power. A woman fell down under it.
Wed., December 31st. I found the Spirit of prayer among the bands in
London, and strongly exhorted them to humility.
Document Outline
The Journal of Charles Wesley March 9 - August 30, 1736 September 4 - December 30, 1736 May 2 - August 31, 1737 September 9 - December 31, 1737 January 5 - April 30, 1738 May 1 - August 31, 1738 September 1 - December 26, 1738