danger; and thus became the founder of the colony of Georgia; a

danger; and thus became the founder of the colony of Georgia; a

1732. He willingly encountered, in their behalf, a variety of fatigue and

danger; and thus became the founder of the colony of Georgia; a

colony which afterwards set the noble example of prohibiting the

importation of slaves. This new establishment he strenuously and

successfully defended against a powerful attack of the Spaniards. In

the year in which he quitted England to found this settlement, he

nobly strove to secure our true national defence by sea and land, - -a

free navy, without impressing, - a constitutional militia. But his social

affections were more enlarged than even the term patriotism can

express: he was the friend of the oppressed Negro; no part of the

globe was too remote, no interest too unconnected, or too much

opposed to his own, to prevent the immediate succour of suffering

humanity. For such qualities he received, from the ever-memorable

John Duke of Argyle, a full testimony, in the British Senate, to his

military character, his natural generosity, his contempt of danger, and

regard for the public. A similar encomium is perpetuated in a foreign

language; and, by one of our most celebrated poets, his remembrance

is transmitted to posterity in lines justly expressive of the purity, the

ardour, and the extent of his benevolence. He lived till the 1st of July,

1785; a venerable instance of what a duration a life of temperance and

virtuous labour is capable of being protracted. His widow, Elizabeth,

daughter of Sir Nathan Wright, of Cranham Hall, Bart., and only sister of Sir Samuel Wright, of the same place, surviving, with regret, but

with due submission to divine Providence, an affectionate husband,

after an union of more than forty years, hath inscribed to his memory

these faint traces of his excellent character.

Religion watches o'er his urn,

And all the Virtues bending mourn:

Humanity, with languid eye,

Melting for others' misery;

Prudence, whose hands a measure hold,

And Temperance, with a chain of gold

Fidelity's triumphant vest,

And Fortitude, in armour dress'd;

Wisdom's grey locks, and Freedom, join

The moral train to bless his shrine;

And pensive all, around his ashes holy,

Their last sad honours pay in order melancholy."

Such was the man who drew the Wesleys from an ascetic and

retired state of life, in which they intended to spend their days, into a

course of active service for the good of mankind, and whose name is

therefore associated with theirs in the imperishable records of the

church.

IV.

FEW brief observations concerning the contents of the ensuing

volumes must suffice, considering the unexpected length to which this

introduction has been extended.

The Journal of Mr. Charles Wesley, which is placed the first in

order, contains an artless but spirited account of his labours and

sufferings in Georgia, accompanied by many interesting notices

respecting the colony; his return to England, as the bearer of

dispatches from the Governor, with a description of some singular

characters that came under his observation during the voyage; the

manner in which he was led to a practical reception of the doctrine of

present salvation from sin by faith in the Lord Jesus. From this time, it

will be found that his character was entirely changed. He was no

longer the anxious, perplexed, and disappointed inquirer after peace and holiness; wishing to die, because, while he earnestly sought these

blessings, he found them not; supposing that a joyous certainty of

acceptance with God, and of conformity to His will, is unattainable in

this life. Instead of singing, in a tone of pensiveness and despair, as he

had formerly done,

"Doubtful and insecure of bliss,

Since Death alone confirms me His,"

he now possessed the inward and abiding witness of his personal

adoption, and exclaimed, with holy thankfulness,

"No condemnation now I dread,

Jesus, and all in Him, is mine!

Alive in Him, my living Head,

And clothed in righteousness divine,

Bold I approach the' eternal throne,

And claim the crown through Christ my own."

Instead of being "carnal, and sold under sin," he felt that, "to be spiritually minded is life and peace." This great salvation from the

guilt, the misery, and the power of sin, the faith by which it is

obtained, the penitence by which it is preceded, and the practical

holiness which is invariably consequent upon it, formed the chief

subjects of his effective ministry, which ended only with his life.

His laborious zeal and his success, as an Itinerant Evangelist,

which may be gathered from the subsequent parts of his Journal, have

seldom been equalled, and perhaps in no instance surpassed, at least

since the apostolic times. They place him on a level with his honoured

brother, and their common friend Mr. Whitefield. In London, Bristol,

Bath, Birmingham, Nottingham, Sheffield, Leeds, Manchester,

Newcastle, Wales, - among the miners of Cornwall, Kingswood,

Staffordshlre, Yorkshire, and the north, - among the Romanists of

Dublin, and of the south and west of Ireland, - his labours were

abundant, his persecutions and privations severe, and his success was

most encouraging. Many of the Wesleyan societies in those places

were formed by him at the hazard of his life; and his Journal, with that

of his brother, will supply ample materials for a history of Methodism,

which is greatly needed, and which it is hoped some person of

competent abilities and leisure will at no distant period undertake.

There is one subject of painful interest in the Journal, upon which

it is requisite to offer a remark, - the separation of the two Wesleys

from the Moravian Brethren, to whom they were both indebted, under

God, for correct views concerning the nature and method of salvation,

and therefore for their religious enjoyments. It cannot be denied that

some persons of leading influence among the Moravians, then in

England, held and propagated grievous errors respecting the

ordinances of religion, by means of which not a few persons lost the

fervent piety by which they had been distinguished. The abettors of

these errors the Wesleys felt it their duty, in all faithfulness, to

withstand, and to warn their children in the Lord against them. On

this subject the testimonies of the brothers are in perfect agreement.

It is, however, due to the Moravian body to state, that the men who

propagated these errors departed from the recognised creed of the

Church to which they belonged; so that the Church should not be held

responsible for their peculiar tenets; except in this, that the offending

parties were silently tolerated, and not subjected to the rebuke and

correction which they merited, and which every church is bound to

administer in cases of this kind. The doctrine of the Moravian Church,

in respect of Christian ordinances, as it is expounded by Spangenberg

and La Trobe, does not appear at all to differ from the doctrine of

other Protestant communities; so that the "stillness" which Molther

and some of his associates inculcated, and which consisted in

abstinence from prayer, from reading the Scriptures, and from

attending the public preaching of the Gospel, was not less opposed to

the tenets of their own Church, than it was to the judgment of the

Wesleys. The evils which resulted from it were great; so that strong

and decisive measures in opposition to it were indispensable.

The Correspondence of Mr. Charles Wesley, which immediately

follows the Journal, consists mostly of letters which were addressed to

his wife in Bristol, when he was fulfilling his ministerial duties in

London. These artless epistles, which were written without the

slightest apprehension that they would ever be published, and which

express the undisguised sentiments of his heart, are conceived to be of

inestimable value. To a great extent they supply the deficiencies of the

Journal; for they record the writer's feelings and labours when the

Journal was discontinued. They prove that when he had become the head of a family, and ceased to travel through England and Ireland as

he had formerly done, his zeal still burned with an ardent and steady

flame; conversions under his word were numerous; he freely

sacrificed the pleasures of domestic life for considerable periods of

time, when the necessities of the people required his absence from

home; the unction of God still rested upon him; and the effusions of

divine influence which came upon him and his congregations,

especially when they were engaged in their sacramental services,

were powerful, frequent, and refreshing; so that the people knew not

how to separate. The Pastor entered fully into the spirit of devotion, so

as to have power with God; the communicants sympathized with him

in his pleading importunity; and all felt that "the effectual fervent

prayer of a righteous man availeth much." Of these seasons of special

visitation and blessing, Mrs. Wesley was often apprized by her absent

lord.

These domestic letters bespeak the hand and heart of the

husband and of the father, and convey a favourable impression of the

writer in both these sacred relations. They manifest his uninterrupted

concern for the health and comfort of his wife, and above all for her

spiritual welfare. His pious inquiries concerning her religious

progress, the encouragements which he suggests to stimulate her

faith, his kind and delicate promptings of her to prayer, and especially

secret prayer, his tender questionings respecting his infant children,

and his suggestions concerning the Christian management of them as

their mental faculties expanded, are honourable to him, and contain

many lessons of great practical importance to all who sustain the

same relations. His wife and children he regarded as a trust

committed to him by God; and he was anxious to resign his trust with

acceptance and joy.

His letters also show, in an incidental manner, something of the

esteem and affection with which he was regarded by an extensive

circle of intelligent Christians, among whom were several of the most

eminent Ministers of the age, especially the evangelical Clergy; such as

Venn of Clapham, Romaine of St. Ann's, Jones of Southwark, and

Madan of the Lock chapel, before he had ruined his reputation and

usefulness by his speculations on polygamy.

The selections from the author's poetry, which follow next in

order, reflect great honour upon his genius. Notwithstanding the

sameness of the subjects which they embrace, and the occasions upon

which they were written, they present a beautiful variety both of

sentiment and expression. They exhibit, with no less distinctness, the

tenderness and piety of his personal friendships, and the spirit of the

people whose characters were formed under his ministry and that of

his fellow-labourers. Happy the men whose preaching was followed

by such results! who saw among their own spiritual children persons

who adorned the doctrine of God our Saviour, by their spirit and

deportment, in all the relations of social and domestic life, and then

passed to the companionship of angels and of glorified saints with the

very language of heaven upon their lips.

Some of these poetical compositions were never before printed;

and the rest have been hitherto known by only a very limited number

of readers; most of them having been out of print more than half a

century, and others of them for twice that period. They show how the

Methodist Christians, who were in religious fellowship with the

Wesleys, lived and died a century ago. In the beautiful and expressive

lines of the venerable Charles Wesley, these devout people still speak,

reminding the members of the living church of their high privilege and

calling, and beckoning them to the heaven which is provided for them.

The second series of poetical selections mostly refer to facts

which are recorded in the Journal and Correspondence, and therefore

serve to illustrate the author's personal history. They express, in his

own inimitable manner, the spirit of faith, of patience, and of holy zeal,

in which he laboured and suffered as a Christian Evangelist and

Pastor, who was intrusted with the Gospel message and the care of

souls.

The Editor of these volumes cherishes a feeling of lively

satisfaction in sending them forth into the world, persuaded as he is of

their tendency to promote true spiritual religion; "righteousness, and

peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost." They exhibit the power of

evangelical truth, and the signs which follow, when it is preached by

men of faith and prayer. Why should not conversions be as numerous

in the congregations of the present age, as they were in the days of the

Wesleys? Gospel truth is the same; the mercy and power of Christ have suffered no diminution; the grace of the Holy Spirit is as

omnipotent as it ever was; the ordinances of day and night shall cease

sooner than the word of the living God shall fail; the gracious covenant

of God still remains in force, so that fervent and believing prayer is as

prevalent as it was even in the apostolic times. O for a return of those

days when in every religious assembly the power of the Lord was

signally present, to wound the consciences of the impenitent, to heal

the broken in heart, to comfort and sanctify those who had through

grace believed! Let all who are interested in the cause of Christianity

remember, that the irrevocable word which secures the future

enlargement of the church has passed the lips of Him who cannot lie.

Faith, mighty faith the promise sees,

And looks to that alone,

Laughs at impossibilities,

And cries IT SHALL BE DONE!"

THOMAS JACKSON.

RICHMOND, March 7th, 1849.

The Journal of Charles Wesley

March 9 - August 30, 1736

TUESDAY, March 9th, 1736, about three in the afternoon, I first set

foot on St. Simon's island, and immediately my spirit revived. No

sooner did I enter upon my ministry, than God gave me, like Saul,

another heart. So true in that [remark] of Bishop Hall: "The calling of

God never leaves a man unchanged; neither did God ever employ any

one in His service, whom He did not enable to the work He set him;

especially those whom He raises up to the supply of His place, and the

representation of Himself." The people, with Mr. Oglethorpe, all

arrived the day before.

The first who saluted me on my landing was honest Mr. Ingham, with

his usual heartiness. Never did I more rejoice at the sight of him;

especially when he told me the treatment he had met with, for

vindicating the Lord's day: such as every Minister of Christ must meet

with. The people seemed overjoyed to see me: Mr. Oglethorpe in

particular received me very kindly.

I spent the afternoon in the conference with my parishioners. (With

what trembling ought I to call them mine!) At seven we had evening

prayers, in the open air, at which Mr. Oglethorpe was present. The

lesson gave me the fullest direction, and greatest encouragement:

"Continue instant in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving;

with praying also for us, that God would open unto us a door of

utterance, to speak the mystery of Christ; that I may make it manifest,

as I ought to speak. Walk in wisdom toward them that are without,

redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned

with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man." "Say

to Archippus, Take heed to the ministry which thou hast received of

the Lord, that thou fulfil it." (Col. 4:2-6, 17.) At nine I returned, and lay in the boat.

Wed., March l0th. Between five and six in the morning I read short

prayers to a few at the fire, before Mr. Oglethorpe's tent, in a hard

shower of rain. Mr. Oglethorpe had set up a tent for the women, near

his own. Toward noon I found an opportunity of talking at the tent-

door with Mrs. W. I laboured to guard her against the cares of the

world, and to give herself to God in the Christian sacrifice; but to no purpose. God was pleased not to add weight to my words; therefore

they could make no impression.

After dinner I began talking with M. Germain, about baptizing her

child by immersion. She was much averse to it, though she owned it a

strong, healthy child. I then spoke to her husband, who was soon

satisfied, and brought his wife to be so too.

In the evening I endeavoured to reconcile M.W. to M.H., who, I assured

her, bore her no ill-will. She replied, "You must not tell me that. M.H. is a very subtle woman. I understand her perfectly. There is a great man

in the case; therefore I cannot speak; only that she is exceeding jealous

of me." Company stopped her saying more.

Thur., March 11th. At ten this morning I began the full service, to

about a dozen women, whom I had got together; intending to continue

it, and only to read a few prayers to the men before they went to work.

I also, expounded the second lesson with some boldness, as I had a

few times before.

After prayers I met M.H.'s maid, in a great passion of tears, at being

struck by her mistress. She seemed resolved to make away with

herself, to escape her Egyptian bondage. With much difficulty I

prevailed upon her to return, and carried her back to her mistress.

Upon my asking M.H. to forgive her, she refused me with the utmost

roughness, rage, and almost reviling.

Mr. Tacknet, whom I talked with next, made me full amends. He was in

an excellent temper; resolved to strive, not with his wife, but himself,

in putting off the old man, and putting on the new.

In the evening I heard the first harsh word from Mr. Oglethorpe, when

I asked for something for a poor woman. The next day I was surprised

by a rougher answer, in a matter that deserved still greater

encouragement. I know not how to account for his increasing

coldness.

My encouragement was the same in speaking with M.W., whom I

found all storm and tempest. The meek, the teachable M.W. (that was

in the ship) was now so wilful, so untractable, so fierce, that I could

not bear to stay near her. I did not mend myself by stumbling again upon Mr. Oglethorpe, who was with the men under arms, in

expectation of an enemy. I stayed as long as I could, however, "Unsafe

within the wind Of such commotion:" but at last the hurricane of his

passion drove me away.

Sun., March 14th. We had prayers under a great tree. In the Epistle I

was plainly shown what I ought to be, and what to expect. "Giving no

offence in anything, that the ministry be not blamed: but in all things

approving ourselves as the Ministers of God, in much patience, in

afflictions, in necessities, in distresses, in strives, in imprisonments, in

tumults, in labours, in watchings, in fastings; by purity by knowledge,

by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfailing, by

the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armour of

righteousness on the right hand and on the left, by honour and

dishonour, by evil report and good report: as deceivers, and yet true;

as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and, behold, we live; as

chastened, and not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor,

yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all

things." (2 Cor. 6:8-10.)

I preached with boldness, on singleness of intention, to about twenty

people, among whom was Mr. Oglethorpe. Soon after, as he was in

M.H.'s hut, a bullet (through the carelessness of one of the people, who

were exercising today) flew through the wall, close by him. M.

Germain now retracted her consent for having her child baptized:

however, M. Colwell's I did baptize by true immersion, before a

numerous congregation.

At night I found myself exceedingly faint, but had no better bed to go

to than the ground; on which I slept very comfortably, before a great

fire, and woke up the next morning perfectly well.

Tues., March 16th. I was wholly spent in writing letters for Mr.

Oglethorpe. I would not spend six days more in the same manner for

all Georgia.

Wed., March 17th. I found an opportunity to tell M.W. the reason why I

had not talked to her lately which was, my despair of doing her any

good. She acknowledged herself entirely changed, but could never tell

me the cause. I immediately guessed it, and mentioned my conjecture.

She confessed the truth of it. My soul was filled with pity; and I prayed

God the sin of others might not ruin her.

Thur., March 18th. Today Mr. Oglethorpe set out with the Indians, to

hunt the buffalo upon the main, and to see the utmost limits of what

they claimed. In the afternoon M.W. discovered to me the whole

mystery of iniquity.

I went to my myrtle-walk, where, as I was repeating, "I will thank thee,

for thou hast heard me, and art become my salvation," a gun was fired

from the other side of the hushes. Providence had that moment

turned me from that end of the walk, which the shot flew through; but

I heard them pass close by me.

Sun., March 21st. Mr. Oglethorpe had ordered, more often than once,

that no man should shoot on a Sunday. Germain had been committed

to the guard-room for it in the morning, but was, upon his submission,

released. In the midst of the sermon a gun was fired. Davison, the

constable, ran out, and found it was the Doctor; told him it was

contrary to orders, and he was obliged to desire him to come to the

officer. Upon this the Doctor flew into a great passion, and said, "What, do you not know that I am not to be looked upon as a common

fellow?" Not knowing what to do, the constable went, and returned,

after consulting with Hermsdorf, with two sentinels, and brought him

to the guard-room. Hereupon M.H. charged and fired a gun; and then

ran thither, like a mad woman, crying she had shot, and would be

confined too. The constable and Hermsdorf persuaded her to go away.

She cursed and swore in the utmost transport of passion, threatening

to kill the first man that should come near her. Alas, my brother! what

has become of thy hopeful convert

In the afternoon, while I was talking in the street with poor Catherine,

her mistress came up to us, and fell upon me with the utmost

bitterness and scurrility; saying she would blow me up, and my

brother, whom she once thought honest, but was now undeceived:

that I was the cause of her husband's confinement; but she would be

revenged, and expose my hypocrisy, my prayers four times a day, by

beat of drum, and abundance more, which I cannot write, and thought

no woman, though taken from Drurylane, could have spoken. I only said, I pitied her, but defied all she or the devil could do; for she could

not hurt me. I was strangely preserved from passion, and at parting

told her that, I hoped she would soon come to a better mind.

In the evening hour of retirement I resigned myself to God, in my

brother's prayer for conformity to a suffering Saviour.

Faint and weary with the day's fatigue, I found my want of true

holiness, and begged God to give me comfort from his word. I then

read, in the evening lesson, "But thou, O man of God, flee these things;

and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience,

meekness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life,

whereunto thou art called, and hast professed a good profession

before many witnesses." (1 Tim. 6:11, 12.) Before prayers I took a

walk with Mr. Ingham, who was surprised I should not think

innocence a sufficient protection. I had not indeed acquainted him

with what M.W. had told me. At night I was forced to exchange my

usual bed, the ground, for a chest, being almost speechless through a

violent cold.

Tues., March 23rd. In reading Hebrews 11, I felt my faith revive; and I

was confident God would either turn aside the trial, or strengthen me

to bear it. In the afternoon Mr. Davison informed me that, the Doctor

had sent his wife a word to arm herself from the case of instruments,

and forcibly make her escape; to speak to Mr. Oglethorpe first, and

even to stab any that should oppose her. M. Perkins told me, she had

heard M.H. say," Mr. Oglethorpe dares not punish me." I was

encouraged by the lesson: "God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but

of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Be not thou therefore

ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be

thou partaker of the afflictions of the Gospel according to the power of

God." "Whereunto I am an appointed Preacher. For which cause I also

suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I

have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I

have committed unto him against that day." (2 Tim. 1:7, 8, 11, 12.)

Wed., March 24th. I was enabled to pray earnestly for my enemies,

particularly Mr. Oglethorpe, whom I now looked upon as the chief of

them. Then I gave myself up entirely to God's disposal, desiring I might not now want power to pray, when I most of all needed it. Mr.

Ingham then came, and read the thirty-seventh psalm: a glorious

exhortation to patience, and confidence in God, from the different

estate of the good and wicked. After breakfast I again betook myself to

intercession, particularly for M.W., that Satan, in the shape of that

other bad woman, might not stand at her right hand. Doubting

whether I should not interpose for the prisoners, I consulted the

oracle, and met Jer. 44:16, 17: "As for the word which thou hast spoken

to us in the name of the Lord, we will not hearken unto it: but we will

certainly do whatsoever thing goeth forth out of our own mouth." This

determined me not to meddle with them at all.

At eleven, I met M. Perkins, who told me of the infamy M.H. had

brought on Mr. Oglethorpe, and the utter discouragement it would be

to the people, if she was supported. Farther she informed me that

M.W. had began to repent of having engaged so far with her,

confessing she had done it through cowardice, as thinking Mr.

Oglethorpe would bear her out against all the world.

Soon after I talked with M.W., and with the last degree of

astonishment heard her accuse herself. Horror of horrors! Never did I

feel such excess of pity. I gave myself up to prayer for her. Mr. Ingham

soon joined me. All the prayers expressed a full confidence in God:

when notice was given to us of Mr. Oglethorpe's landing. M.H., Mr.

Ingham, and myself were sent for. We found him in his tent, with the

people round it; Mr. and M.H. within. After a short hearing, the

officers were reprimanded, and the prisoners dismissed. At going out

M.H. modestly told me, she had something more to say against me, but

would take another time. I only answered," You know, Madam, it is

impossible for me to fear you." When they were gone, Mr. Oglethorpe

said he was convinced, and glad I had had no hand in all this. I told

him I had something to impart, of the last importance, when he was at

leisure. He took no notice, but read his letters; and I walked away with

Mr. Ingham, who was utterly astonished. The issue is just what I

expected.

I was struck with those words in the evening lesson: "Thou therefore,

my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus." "Endure

hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." "Remember that Jesus Christ was raised from the dead according to my Gospel: wherein I

suffer trouble, as an evil-doer, even unto bonds; but the word of God is

not bound. Therefore I endure all things for the elect's sakes, that they

may also obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal

glory. It is a faithful saying: For if we be dead with him, we shall also

live with him: if we suffer, we shall also reign with him." (2 Tim. 2:1, 3, 812.) After reading I could not forbear adding, "I need say nothing.

God will shortly apply this."

Glory be to God for my confidence hitherto! O what am I if left to

myself? but I can do and suffer all things through Christ strengthening

me.

Thur., March 25th. At five I heard the second drum beat for prayer,

which I had desired Mr. Ingham to read, being much weakened by my

fever. But considering I ought to appear at this time especially, I rose

and heard those animating words: "If any man serve me, let him

follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man

serve me, him will my Father honour. Now is my soul troubled; and

what shall I say Father, save me from this hour: but for this cause came

I unto this hour. Father, glorify thy name." (John 12:26-28.)

At half-hour past seven Mr. Oglethorpe called me out of my hut. I

looked up to God, and went. He charged me with mutiny and sedition;

with stirring up the people to desert the colony. Accordingly he said

they had had a meeting last night, and sent a message to him this

morning, desiring leave to go; that their speaker had informed against

them, and me the spring of all; that men constantly came to prayers,

therefore I must have instigated them; that he should not scruple

shooting half-a-dozen of them at once; but that he had, out of

kindness, first spoken to me. My answer was, "I desire, Sir, you would

have no regard to my brothers, my friends, or the love you had for me,

if anything of this is made out against me. I know nothing of their

meeting or designs. Of those you have mentioned, not one comes

constantly to prayers, or sacrament. I never incited any one to leave

the colony. I desire to answer my accuser face to face." He told me, my

accuser was Mr. Lawley, whom he would bring, if I would wait here. I

added," Mr. Lawley is a man who has declared he knows no reason for

keeping fair with any man, but a design to get all he can by him: but there was nothing to be got by the poor Persons." I asked whether he

himself was not assured that there were enough men in Frederica, to

say or swear anything against any man that should be in disgrace:

whether; if he himself was removed, or succeeded ill, the whole

stream of the people would not be turned against him; and even this

Lawley, who was of all others the most violent in condemning the

prisoners, and justifying the officers. I observed, this was the old cry,

"Away with the Christians to the lions;" mentioned H. and his wife's scandalizing my brother and me, and vowing revenge against us both,

threatening me yesterday even in his presence. I asked what redress

or satisfaction was due to my character; what good I could do in my

present parish, if cut off by their calumnies from ever seeing one half

of it. I ended with assuring him, I had and should still make it my

business to promote peace among all. I felt no disturbance while

speaking, but lifted up my heart to God, and found him present with

me. While Mr. Oglethorpe was fetching Lawley, I thought of our Lord's

words, "Ye shall be brought before Governors and Kings for my sake.

But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall

speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak;"

(Matt. 10:18, 19;) and applied to Him for help, and words to make my

defence. Before Mr. Oglethorpe returned I called in upon Mr. Ingham,

and desired him to pray for me: then walked, and, musing on the

event, opened the book on Acts 15:31-83: "Which when they had read,

they rejoiced for the consolation; and exhorted the brethren with

many words, and confirmed them. And after they had tarried there a

space, they were let go in peace." Mr. Ingham coming, I related all that

had passed. On sight of Mr. Oglethorpe and Lawley, he retired.

Mr. Oglethorpe observed, the place was too public. I offered to carry

him to my usual walk in the woods. On our way God put it into my

heart to say, "Show only the least disinclination to find me guilty, and

you shall see what a turn it will give to the accusation." He took the

hint, and instead of calling upon Lawley to make good his charge,

began with the quarrel in general; but did not show himself angry

with me, or desirous to find me to blame. Lawley, who appeared full of

guilt and fear, upon this dropped his accusation, or shrunk it into my

"forcing the people to prayers." I replied, that the people themselves 50

would acquit me of that; and as to the officers' quarrel, I appealed to the officers for the truth of my assertion, that I had had no hand at all

in it; professed my desire and resolution of promoting peace and

obedience: and as to the people, I was persuaded their desire of

leaving the colony arose from mistake, not malice. Here Mr.

Oglethorpe spoke of reconciling matters; bade Lawley told the

petitioners, he would not so much ask who they were, if they were but

quiet for the future. " I hope," added he, "they will be so; and Mr.

Wesley here hopes so too." "Yes, Sir," says Lawley, "I really believe it of Mr. Wesley, and had always a very great respect for him." I turned, and

said to Mr. Oglethorpe, "Did not I tell you it would be so?" He replied to Lawley, "Yes; you had always a very great respect for Mr. Wesley.

You told me he was a stirrer up of sedition, and at the bottom of all

this disturbance." With this gentle reproof he dismissed him; and I

thanked him for having first spoken to me of what I was accused of,

begging he would always do so. This he promised, and then I walked

with him to M.H.'s door. She came out again to see me with him. He

then left me, "and I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion."

I went to my hut, where I found Mr. Ingham. He told me this was but

the beginning of sorrows. "Not as I will, but as Thou wilt." About noon, in the midst of a violent storm of thunder and lightning, I read the

eighteenth Psalm, and found it gloriously suited to my circumstances.

I never felt the Scriptures as now. Now I need them, I find them all

written for my instruction and comfort. At the same time I feel great

joy in the expectation of our Saviour thus coming to judgment, when

the secrets of all hearts shall be revealed, and God shall make my

innocency as clear as the light, and my just dealing as the noon-day.

At three I walked with Mr. Ingham, and read him the history of this

amazing day. We rejoiced together in the protection of God, and

through comfort of the Scriptures.

The evening lesson was full of encouragement. "This know also, that

in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be false

accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors,

heady, high-minded, but they shall proceed no further: for their folly

shall be made manifest unto all men. But thou hast fully known my

doctrine, manner of life, what persecutions I endured; but out of them

all the Lord delivered me. Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and

being deceived. All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is

profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in

righteousness." (2 Tim. 3:1-4, 9-13, 16.) Blessed be God, I begin to find it so!

Meeting with Mr. Hird, I persuaded him to use all his interest with the

people, to lay aside all thoughts of leaving the colony. He told me he

had assured Mr. Oglethorpe that this was always my language toward

him and the rest; but was answered short, with, "You must not tell me

that; I know better."

After spending an hour at the camp, in singing such Psalms as suited

the occasion, I went to bed in the hut, which was thoroughly wet with

the day's rain.

Fri., March 26th. "My soul is always in my hand; therefore will I not

forget thy law." This morning, early, Mr. Oglethorpe called me out to

tell me of Mrs. Lawley's miscarriage, by being denied access to the

Doctor for bleeding. He seemed very angry, and to charge me with it;

saying he should be the tyrant if he passed by such intolerable

injuries. I answered, I knew nothing of the matter, and it was hard it

should be imputed to me; that from the first Hermsdorf told the

Doctor he might visit whom of his patients he pleased; but the Doctor

would not. I denied my having the least hand in the whole business as

Hermsdorf himself had declared. He said, "Hermsdorf himself assured

me, what he did, he did by your advice." I answered, "You must

mistake his imperfect English; for many have heard him say the

contradictory of this. Yet I must be charged with all the mischief."

"How else can it be," said he, "that there should be no love, no meekness, no true religion among the people, but instead of that,

mere formal prayers?" "As to that, I can answer for them, that they

have no more of the form of godliness than the power. I have seldom

above six at the public service." "But what would an unbeliever say to your raising these disorders?" "Why, if I had raised them, he might say there was nothing in religion; but what would that signify to those

who had experienced it? They would not say so." He told me the people were full of dread and confusion; that it was much easier to

govern a thousand than sixty men; for in so small a number, every

one's passion was considerable; that he does not leave them before

they were settled, & I asked him, "Would you have me forbear

conferring at all with my parishioners?" To this I could get no answer,

and went on: "The reason why I did not interpose for or against the

Doctor was his having, at the beginning, charged me with his

confinement. I talked less with my parishioners these five days past,

than I had done in any one afternoon before. I shunned appearing in

public, lest my advice should be asked, or lest, if I heard others talking,

my very silence should be deciphered into advice. But one argument

of my innocence I can give, which will even convince you of it. I know

my life is in your hands: and you know, that was you to frown upon

me, and give the least intimation that it would be agreeable to you, the

generality of these wretched people would say or swear anything." To

this he agreed, and owned the case was so with them all. "You see that

my safety depends on your single opinion of me. Must I not therefore

be mad, if I would in such a situation provoke you by disturbing the

public peace? Innocence, I know, is not the least protection; but my

sure trust is in God." His company interrupted us, and I left him.

I was no longer careful of the event, after reading those words in the

morning lesson: "Thou cannot follow me now; but thou shalt follow

me afterwards." (John 13:36.) Amen. When Thou pleasest. Thy time is

the best.

Mr. Oglethorpe, meeting me in the evening, asked when I had prayers.

I said, I waited his pleasure. While the people came slowly, "You see,

Sir," said I, "they do not lay too great a stress on forms." "The reason of that is, because others idolize them." "I believe few stay away for that reason." "I don't know that." Mr. Oglethorpe stood over against me, and joined audibly in the prayers. The chapter was designed for me,

and I read it with great boldness, as follows: "I charge thee before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at

his appearing and his kingdom; preach the word; be instant in season,

out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long-suffering and

doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound

doctrine." "But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an Evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry." "At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me." "Notwithstanding the

Lord stood with me ...... that by me the preaching might be fully

known, and that all the Gentiles might hear: and I was delivered out of

the mouth of the lion. And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil

work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be

glory for ever and ever. Amen." (2 Tim. 4:1-3, 5, 16-18.)

Sat., March 27th. This morning we began our Lord's last discourses to

his disciples: every word was providentially directed to my comfort,

but particularly those: -"Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in

God, believe also in me." "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:1, 18, 27.)

I was sensibly concerned this afternoon at hearing that M.W. is

growing more and more like M.H., declares she will be no longer

priest-ridden, jests upon prayers, and talks in the loose, scandalous

dialect of her friend. In the evening a thought came into my mind of

sending Mr. Ingham for my brother. He was much averse to leaving me

in my trials, but was at last persuaded to go.

Sun., March 28th. I went to the storehouse (our tabernacle at present)

to hearken what the Lord God would say concerning me. Both myself

and the congregation were struck with the first lesson: Joseph and

Potiphar's wife. The second was still more animating: "If the world

hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of

the world, the world would love his own." (John 15:18, 19.) After the

prayers poor Mr. Davison stayed behind, to take his leave of Mr.

Ingham. He burst into tears, and said, "One good man is leaving us

already. I foresee nothing but desolation. Must my poor children be

brought up like these savages" We endeavoured to comfort him by

showing him his calling. At ten Mr. Ingham preached an alarming

sermon on the day of judgment, and joined with me in offering up the

Christian sacrifice.

In my walk at noon I was full of heaviness; complained to God that I

had no friend but Him; and even in Him could now find no comfort.

Immediately I received power to pray; then, opening my Bible, read as follows: - "Hearken unto me, ye that seek the Lord: look unto the rock

whence ye are hewn." "Fear not the reproach of men, neither be afraid of their revilings." "Who art thou, that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall die; ...... and hast feared continually every day because

of the fury of the oppressor - and where is the fury of the oppressor"

(Isai. 51:1, 2, 12, 13.) After reading this, no wonder that I found myself

renewed in confidence.

While Mr. Ingham waited for the boat, I took a turn with Mr. Horton.

He fully convinced me of M.H.'s true character; ungrateful in the

highest degree, a common prostitute, a complete hypocrite. She told

me, her and her husband had begged him upon their knees to

intercede with Mr. Oglethorpe, not to turn them out of the ship, which

would be their utter ruin. This he accordingly did; though Mr.

Oglethorpe at first assured him he had rather give one hundred

pounds than take them. The first person she fell upon, after this, was

Mr. Horton himself, whom she abused, as she has since done to me.

From him I hastened to the water-side, where I found Mr. Ingham just

put off. O happy, happy friend! Abiit, erupit, evasit! But woe is me, that

I am still constrained to dwell with Meshech! I languished to hear him

company, followed him with my eyes till out of sight and then sunk

into deeper dejection than I had known before.

Mon., March 29th. I was revived by those words of our Lord: "These

things have I spoken unto you, that you should not be offended. They

shall put you out of the synagogues: yea, the time cometh, that

whosoever killeth you will think that he doeth God service. And these

things will they do unto you, because they have not known the Father,

nor me." "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." (John 16:1-3, 33.)

Knowing I was to live with Mr. Oglethorpe, I had brought nothing with

me from England, except my clothes and books; but this morning,

asking a servant for something I wanted, (I think a tea-kettle,) I was

told Mr. Oglethorpe had given orders that no one should use any of his

things. I answered, that order, I supposed, did not extend to me. "Yes,

Sir," says she, "you were excepted by name." Thanks be to God, that it is not yet made capital to give me a morsel of bread.

Tues., March 30th. Having laid hitherto on the ground, in a corner of Mr. Reed's hut, and hearing some boards were to be disposed of, I

attempted in vain to get some of them to lie upon. They were given to

all besides. The Minister only of Frederica must be shipwrecked. Yet

are we not hereunto called homeless, badly spoken of? Even the Son

of man had not where to lay his head!

I find the Scripture an inexhaustible fund of comfort. "Is my hand

shortened at all, that it cannot save or have I no power to deliver I

gave my back to the stutters, and my cheeks to them that plucked off

the hair. I hid not my face from shame and spitting. For the Lord God

will help me, therefore shall I not be confounded. Therefore have I set

my face like a flint; and I know that I shall not be ashamed. He is near

that justifieth me; who will contend with me Let us stand together.

Who is mine adversary let him come near to me. Behold, the Lord God

will help me: who is he that shall condemn me"

Wed., March 31st. I begin now to be abused and slighted into an

opinion of my own considerableness. I could not be more trampled

upon, was I a fallen Minister of state. The people have found out that I

am in disgrace, and all the cry is, Curramus praecipites, et Dum jacet

in ripa calcemus caesaris hostem.

My few well-wishers are afraid to speak to me. Some have turned out

of the way to avoid me. Others desired I would not take it ill, if they

seemed not to know me when we should meet. The servant that used

to wash my linen sent it back unwashed. It was great cause of triumph

my being forbidden the use of Mr. Oglethorpe's things, and in effect

debarred of most of the conveniences, if not necessaries, of life. I

sometimes pitied, and sometimes diverted myself with, the odd

expressions of their contempt; but found the benefit of having

undergone a much lower degree of obloquy at Oxford.

Thur., April 1st. In the midst of morning service a poor scoutboat-man

was brought in, who was almost killed by the burst of a cannon. I

found him senseless and dying. All I could do was to pray for him, and

try by his example to wake his two companions. He languished till the

next day, and died.

Hitherto I have been borne up by a spirit not my own; but exhausted

nature at last prevails. It is amazing she held out so long. My outward hardships and inward conflicts, the bitterness of reproach from the

only man I wished to please, "At last have borne my boasted courage

down."

Accordingly, this afternoon, I was forced by a friendly fever to take my

bed. My sickness, I knew, could not be of long continuance; but, as I

was in want of every help and convenience, must either shortly leave

me, or release me from farther suffering.

In the evening Mrs. Hird and Mrs. Robinson called to see me, and

offered me all the assistance in their power. I thanked them, but

desired they would not prejudice themselves by taking this notice of

me. At that instant we were alarmed with a cry of the Spaniards being

come; heard many guns fired, and saw the people fly in great

consternation to the Fort. I felt not the least disturbance or surprise;

bade the women no to fear, for God was with us. Within a few minutes

news was brought us that the alarm was only a contrivance of Mr.

Oglethorpe, to try the people. My charitable visitants then left me, and

soon returned with some gruel, which threw me into a sweat. The

next morning, April 2nd, they ventured to call again. At night, when

my fever was somewhat abated, I was led out to bury the scoutboat-

man, and envied his quiet grave.

Sat., April 3rd. Nature I found endeavoured to throw off the disease by

excessive sweats: I therefore drank whatever my women brought me.

Sun., April 4th. Many of the people had been ill of the bloody flux. I

escaped hitherto by my vegetable diet; but now my fever brought it.

Notwithstanding this, I was obliged to go abroad, and preach, and

administer the sacrament. My sermon on, "Keep innocency, and take

heed to the thing that is right, for this shall bring a man peace at the

last," was deciphered into a satire against M.H. At night I got an old

bedstead to lie on, being that on which the scoutboat-man had died.

Mon., April 5th. At one this morning the sand flies forced me to rise,

and smoke them out of the hut. The whole town was employed in the

same manner. My congregation in the evening consisted of two

Presbyterians and a Papist. I went home in great pain, my distemper

being much increased with the little duty I could discharge.

Tues., April 6th. I found myself so faint and weak, that it was with the utmost difficulty I got through the prayers. Mr. Davison, my good

Samaritan, would often call, or send his wife to tend me: and to their

care, under God, I owe my life.

Today Mr. Oglethorpe gave away my bedstead from under me, and

refused to spar one of the carpenters to mend me up another.

Fri., April 9th. While talking to Mrs. Hird, I turned my eyes towards the

huts, and saw Mr. Lassel's all in a blaze. I walked towards the fires,

which, before I could come up to it, had consumed the hut, and

everything in it. It was a corner-hut, and the wind providentially blew

from the others, or they would have been all destroyed.

Sat., April 10th. Mr. Reed waked me with news of Mr. Delamotte and

my brother being on their way to Frederica. I found the

encouragement I sought in the Scriptures for the day, Psalm 53: "Why

boastest thou thyself in mischief, O mighty man the goodness of God

endureth continually. Thy tongue deviseth mischiefs; like a sharp

razor, working deceitfully. Thou lovest evil more than good; and lying

than to speak righteousness."

At six Mr. Delamotte and my brother landed, when my strength was so

exhausted I could not have read prayers once more. He helped me into

the woods; for there was no talking among a people of spies and

ruffians; nor even in the woods, unless in an unknown tongue. He told

me the scripture he met with at landing was, "If God be for us, who

can be against us" and that Mr. Oglethorpe received him with

abundant kindness. I began my account of all that has passed, and

continued it till prayers. It were endless to mention all the scriptures

which have been for so many days adapted to my circumstances; but I

cannot pass by the evening lesson, Heb. 11. I was ashamed of having

well-nigh sunk under mine, when I beheld the conflicts of those

triumphant sufferers, of whom the world was not worthy.

Sun., April 11th. What words could more support our confidence, than

the following, out of the Psalms for the day - "Be merciful unto me, O

God, for man goeth about to devour me. He is daily fighting, and

troubling me. Mine enemies are daily in hand to swallow me up; for

they be many that fight against me, O thou Most Highest. Nevertheless,

though I am sometimes afraid, yet put I my trust in thee. I will put my trust in God, and will not fear what man can do unto me. They daily

mistake my words: all that they imagine is to do me evil." (Psalm

56:1.) The next Psalm was equally animating:- "Be merciful unto me, O

God; for my soul trusteth in thee: and under the shadow of thy wings

shall be my refuge, until this tyranny be overpast. I will call upon the

most high God; even unto the God that shall perform the cause which I

have in hand. He shall send down from heaven, and save me from the

reproof of him that would eat me up. God shall send forth his mercy

and truth; my soul is among lions. And I lie even among the children of

men, that are set on fire: whose teeth are spears and arrows, and their

tongue a sharp sword. Set up thyself, O God, above the heavens; and

thy glory above all the earth." (Psalm 57:1-6.)

I had just recovered strength enough to consecrate at the sacrament:

the rest my brother discharged. We then got out of the reach of

informers, and proceeded in my account; being fully persuaded of the

truth of M.W.'s information against Mr. Oglethorpe, M.H., and herself.

Next morning Mr. Oglethorpe met and carried us to breakfast at the

modest M.H.,s. At noon my brother repeated to me his last conference

with M.W., in confirmation of all she had ever told me.

At night I took leave of Mr. Horton, Mr. Hermsdorf, and Major

Richards, who were going, with thirty men, to build a fort over against

the Spanish look-out, twelve leagues from Augustine.

Wed., April 14th. By a relation which my brother gave me of a late

conference he had with her, I was, in spite of all I had seen and heard,

half persuaded into a good opinion of M.H. For the lasting honour of

our sagacity be it written!

Fri., April 16th. My brother brought me of a resolution which honour

and indignation had formed, of starving rather than asking for

necessaries. Accordingly I went to Mr. Oglethorpe, in his tent, to ask

for some little things I wanted. He sent for me back again, and mid,

"Pray, Sir, sit down. I have something to say to you. I hear you have

spread several reports about."

The next day my brother and Mr. Delamotte set out in an open boat for

Savannah. I preached in the afternoon on, "He that now goeth on his way weeping, and beareth forth good seed, shall doubtless come again

with joy, and bring his sheaves with him."

Easter-eve, April 24th. At ten I was sent for by Mr. Oglethorpe. He

began, "Mr. Wesley, you know what has passed between us. I took

some pains to satisfy your brother about the reports concerning me,

but in vain. He hereby renews his suspicions in writing. I did desire to

convince him, because I had an esteem for him; and he is just so

considerable to me as my esteem makes him. I could clear up all, but it

matters not. You will soon see the reason of my actions.

"I am now going to death. You will see me no more. Take this ring, and

carry it from me to Mr. V. If there is a friend to be depended upon, he is

one. His interest is next to Sir Robert's. Whatever you ask, within his

power, he will do for you, your brother, and your family. I have

expected death for some days. These letters show that the Spaniards

have long been seducing our allies, and intend to cut us off at a blow. I

fall by my friends, Gascoin, whom I have made; the Carolina people,

whom I depended upon to send their promised succours. But death is

to me nothing. T. will pursue all my designs; and to him I recommend

them and you."

He then gave me a diamond ring: I took it, and said, "If, as I believe,

Postremum fato, quod te alloquor, hoc est, hear what you will quickly

know to be true, as soon as you enter upon the separate state. This

ring I shall never make any use of for myself. I have no worldly hopes.

I have renounced the world. Life is bitterness to me. I came hither to

lay it down.

"You have been deceived, as well as I. I protest my innocence of the

crimes I am charged with; and take myself to be now at liberty to tell

you what I thought never to have uttered."

When I had finished this relation he seemed entirely changed, full of

his old love and confidence in me. After some expressions of kindness,

I asked him, "Are you satisfied" He replied, "Yes, entirely." "Why then; Sir, I desire nothing more upon earth; and care not how soon I follow

you." He added, he much desired the conversion of the Heathen, and

believed my brother intended for it. "But I believe," said I, "it will 60

never be under your patronage; for then men would account for it without taking in God." He replied, "I believe so too:" then embraced and kissed me with the most cordial affection. I attended him to the

scout-boat, where he waited some minutes for his sword. They

brought him first, and a second time, a mourning sword. At last they

gave him his own, which had been his father's. "With this sword," says he, "I was never yet unsuccessful." "I hope, Sir," said I, "you carry with you a better, even the sword of the Lord, and of Gideon." "I hope so too," he added.

When the boat put off; I ran before into the woods, to see my last of

him. Seeing me and two others running after him, he stopped the boat,

and asked whether we wanted anything. Captain Mackintosh, left

Commander, desired his last orders. I then said," God be with you. Go

forth, Christo duce, et auspice Christo!" "You have," says he, "I think, some verses of mine. You therefore see my thoughts of success." His

last word to the people was, "God bless you all!" The boat then carried him out of sight. I interceded for him, that God would save him from

death, would wash out all his sins, and prepare, before he took, the

sacrifice to himself.

Easter-day, April 25th. The people were alarmed at night, by the sight

of two great fires, on either side of the town, not knowing if they were

made by friends or enemies. Next morning news was brought of a

boat coming up. Every one seemed under a consternation, though no

one but myself was fully apprized of our dangers. At night the watch

was doubled by Captain Mackintosh. The people being unwilling to

comply with his orders, I was forced to tell Mr. Hird, the constable,

that there might be danger which Mackintosh alone knew of, and

therefore they ought to obey. He promised it for himself and the rest.

Though I expected every hour that the Spaniards would bring us the

news of Mr. Oglethorpe's death, yet I was insensible of fear, and

careless of the consequence.

But my indifference arose from stupidity rather than faith. There was

nothing I cared for in life, and therefore the loss of it appeared a trifle.

Thur., April 29th. About half-hour past eight I went down to the bluff,

to see a boat coming up. At nine it arrived with Mr. Oglethorpe. I

blessed God for still holding his soul in life. In the evening we took a walk together, and he informed me more particularly of our past

danger. Three great ships, and four smaller, had been seen for three

weeks together at the mouth of the river; but the wind continuing full

against them, [they] were kept from making a descent, till they could

stay no longer. I gave him back his ring, and said, "I need not, Sir, and indeed I cannot, tell you how joyfully and thankfully I return this."

"When I gave it you," said he," I never expected to receive it again, but thought it would be of service to your brother and you. I had many

omens of my death, particularly their bringing me my mourning

sword; but God has been pleased to preserve a life which was never

valuable to me; and yet, in the continuance of it, I thank God, I can

rejoice." "I am now glad of all that has happened here, since without it I could never have had such a proof of your affection as that you gave

me, when you looked upon me as the most ungrateful of villains."

While I was speaking this, he appeared full of tenderness; and passed

on to observe the strangeness of his deliverance, when betrayed on all

sides, without human support, and utterly defenceless. He condemned

himself for his anger, (God forgive those who made me the object of

it!) which he imputed to his want of time for consideration. "I longed,

Sir, to see you once more, that I might tell you some things before we

finally parted: but then I considered that if you died, you would know

them all in a moment." "I know not whether separate spirits regard

our little concerns. If they do, it is as men regard the follies of their

childhood, or as my late passionateness."

Fri., April 30th. I had some farther talk with him in bed. He ordered

me whatever he could think I wanted; promised to have me an house

built immediately; and was just the same he had formerly been to me.

Sun., May 2nd. I went to him to ask if there was any truth in the report,

that Major Richards and Mr. Horton were detained at Augustine, and

the men at St. George's run away. He told me, he hoped that the

gentlemen were well received; but the people had been frightened

away by two soldiers bringing a civil proffer of refreshment; that

thereupon the men mutinied, and obliged Captain Hermsdorf to quit

the advanced post, and turn homeward, which he had done pursuant

to Ferguson's advice; that he intended immediately to go in quest of

them. In an hour's time he set out accordingly.

In the evening I endeavoured to convince Mr. Moore (as I had done

some few besides) of Mr. Oglethorpe's innocency. He then read me a

list of the officers that were to be: and who should be appointed head-

bailiff, but my dear friend the Doctor

Mon., May 3rd. The people had observed that I was taken into favour

again, which I found by their provoking civilities.

Wed., May 5th. At night news was brought of a boat being seen off the

point, which would not come to, though the soldiers had fired at her

several times. The people were greatly alarmed, being in no

preparation for an enemy. I went to bed, but was soon awakened by

the firing of a gun; and, rising, found all the town flocking towards the

fort, in the utmost consternation. I walked leisurely after them,

without fear, yet without faith; found the uproar was occasioned by a

friendly Indian; and walked back again.

Sat., May 8th. I had some affecting talk with a poor man, belonging to

the scout-boat, who had broke his arm. He owned himself greatly

moved by the Christian Monitor I had given him; convinced thereby of

the truth of religion; unable to read for tears; and fully resolved to

obey the motions of the Holy Spirit, by leading a new life.

Between ten and eleven I was woken up again by an alarm. I rose, as

did all the women, and found a signal had been made from the man-

of-war. I sent away the women, and, being myself of equal service,

soon followed their example, and went to sleep again.

Sun., May 9th. Notice was given to me that Mr. D., Chaplain to the

Independent Company, had landed, and walking toward me. His moral

character did not recommend him. I had just time to run away into the

woods, and so escaped his visit. The next morning Mr. Oglethorpe

returned, from whom I had the following account of his expedition.

On Saturday, May 1st, late at night, arrived the "Caroline" scout-boat, with Captain Ferguson, bringing advice that Major Richards and Mr.

Horton (who had carried answers to the Spanish Governor's letters)

had landed at their look-out, and he believed were made prisoners by

the Spaniards; for they had heard no more of them, except by a blind

letter, written with a pencil; that the boats, in which were the men under Captain Hermsdorf, had come about thirty miles on this side of

St. George's Point, and there waited for orders; that the men were

mutinous, and Hermsdorf believed he should be forced to retire to

Fort St. Andrews; that he was apprehensive they would either murder

their officers, and turn pirates, or be cut off by the Spaniards. Mr.

Oglethorpe, on Sunday, went on board the man-of-war, and proceeded

from thence with the man-of-war's boat, commanded by the

Lieutenant, and the Georgia scout-boat. They arrived that night at Fort

St. Andrews. On Monday they came up with the south point of

Cumberland, where we met with the boats under the command of

Captain Hermsdorf. Mr. Oglethorpe immediately took them out to sea

with him, round Amelia Island. He found, upon examination, that the

men did not intend to mutiny; but that the suspicion was occasioned

by the lies of one man, who was hereupon sentenced by Mr.

Oglethorpe to run the gauntlet.

He went to Point St. George, within sight of the Spanish look-out, and

re-settled them on the same place where Mr. Hermsdorf had before

taken up his quarters. It had been agreed that the Spaniards should

make a signal; and from thence he would repair with his boats, to

fetch Major Richards back, who was gone to Augustine, at the request

of the Governor, who promised to send horses to conduct him, but did

not. It likewise was agreed that the boats should patrol up and down

the rivers, to prevent the Indians, our allies, passing over to molest the

Spaniards; as they should prevent their Indians passing over to molest

us.

Mr. Oglethorpe went that afternoon to the Spanish lookout, with a flag

of truce; but not being able to perceive any one, leaving the boat at her

grappling, he leaped ashore himself, to see if he could discover

anybody there; and going along the beach, at distance from the Sandy

hillocks, to prevent surprise, he surrounded the hillocks, where he

found two horses hobbled. He went forward to a palmetto hut; but

could find no man. After this he sent the flag of truce into a great

savannah, to see if that would draw down any people to a conference.

Upon this W. Frazer, a Scotch lad, going into the neighbouring woods,

and finding a Spaniard, brought him to Mr. Oglethorpe, to whom he

delivered two letters; one from Major Richards, the other from Mr.

Horton, directed to Mr. Hermsdorf, acquainting him that he should be

back with him in two days' time. Mr. Oglethorpe gave the man a bottle

of wine, victuals, and tobacco, and a moidore for his trouble in

bringing the letters; and inquired where Major Richards and Mr.

Horton were. The man said he knew nothing concerning them; that he

was a horseman, and sent by the Colonel of the cavalry from the head-

quarters, which were about twelve leagues off, with these letters, to

wait there till he should see an English boat appear, and deliver it to

them; that he had lain four days on the beach, and had not discovered

a boat in that time. Mr. Oglethorpe delivered to him letters for the

Governor of Augustine; and between ten and eleven on Thursday

morning set out with the man-of-war's boat, and Georgia scout-boat,

to meet the man again, according to appointment.

He discovered a guard-coast full of men, that lay behind the sand-

bank, beyond the breakers, on the English side of the water; and soon

after he discovered several men hid in the woods, next to some sand-

hills. Two horsemen showed themselves, and beckoned to the boats,

which had a flag of truce flying, to come down to a point, beyond

which the guard-coast lay concealed: on which Mr. Oglethorpe rowed

with the two boats toward the guard-coast, that he might not leave

her behind to intercept us and our people at St. George's Point.

There seemed to be about seventy men on board her, and there were

in our boats twenty-four. She lay still for some time; but when they

found plainly that they were discovered, they rowed away with

incredible swiftness, directly out to sea, toward Augustine.

Mr. Oglethorpe returned to the horsemen, who seemed very unwilling

to approach the boat; but at last agreed to receive a letter, if Mr.

Oglethorpe would send an unarmed man ashore. One of them,

seemingly an officer, forbade the boats to land on the King of Spain's

ground. Mr. Oglethorpe answered, that as it was the King of Spain's

ground, the English would forbear landing on it, since the Spaniards

requested it; but that the Spaniards should be very welcome to land

on the King of England's ground, which was on the opposite side of

the river, and should be welcome to a glass of wine with him there. He

asked him for the news of Mr. Horton and Mr. Richards, and whether

he could not send anything to them. The man said he knew nothing of them; that he received his orders from the Colonel of horse, who was

quartered at twelve leagues' distance; and that he could carry no news

but to him. Upon this Mr. Moore, Lieutenant of the "Hawke" man-of-

war, wrote a letter to the Colonel of the horse, acquainting him that he

was come thither with boats, to conduct back the gentlemen who

were sent by Mr. Oglethorpe to treat with the Governor of Augustine;

and that, if at any time he would make three fires on the Spanish main,

he would take it as a signal that the gentlemen were come, and would

come over with a boat and fetch them. The Spanish officer promised

to deliver the letter by night to the Colonel of horse. Mr. Oglethorpe

stayed till Saturday night, expecting an answer, and sent over to the

Spanish side every day; but could find nobody to have conference

with. By the look-out within-land they have a vineyard, flocks of

turkeys, cattle, and horses; but great care was taken that none of our

people should touch any of them, On Saturday night Mr. Oglethorpe

set out, leaving Captain Hermsdorf with an armed periague, the

Georgia scout-boat, and another boat.

Tues., May 11th. I had now so far recovered my strength, that I could

again expound the lesson. In the lesson next morning was Elisha

encompassed with the host at Dothan. It is our privilege, as Christians,

to apply those words to ourselves: "There be more than be with us,

than those that be against us." God spoke to us yet plainer in the

second lesson: "Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of

wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. But

beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils; ...... and ye

shall be brought before Governors and Kings for my sake." "And ye

shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to

the end shall be saved. But when they persecute you in this city, flee ye

into another." "The disciple is not above his master." "Fear ye not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed, and

hid that shall not be known." (Matt. 11:16-26.) In explaining this, I

dwelt on that blessed topic of consolation to the innocent, that

however he suffers under a false accusation here, he will shortly be

cleared at God's righteous bar, where the accuser and the accused

shall meet face to face, and the guilty person acquit him whom he

unjustly charged, and take back the wickedness to himself. Poor W.,

who was just over against me, could not stand it, but first turned her back, and then retired behind the congregation.

While I waited for Mr. Oglethorpe, setting out again for the southward,

Mr. Appee accosted me, a young gentleman, lately come from

Savannah. He mentioned his desire of being baptized (having only

received lay-baptism before). I thought he ought to have a longer trial

of his own sincerity. He passed on to his intended marriage with Miss

Bovey, which I dissuaded him from, not thinking either sufficiently

prepared for it. He had made little progress in subduing his will, and

ought to be more dead to the world before he threw himself into it.

Near midnight I took leave of Mr. Oglethorpe, who set out in the scout-

boat, after the other boats, for St. George's. The remainder of the night

I passed upon the ground in the guard-room.

At four the next day I set out for Savannah, whither the Indian traders

were coming down to meet me, and take out licences. I was overjoyed

at my deliverance out of this furnace, and not a little ashamed of

myself for being so.

Sun., May 16th. We landed at Skiddoway, and dined at Mrs. M.'s. I then

went round, and asked the few people there were upon the island, to

come to prayers: which accordingly I read, and preached to about ten

in the guardroom; and promised so to contrive, if possible, that they

should be supplied once a month.

At four we returned to our boat, and by six reached Thunderbolt;

whence I walked the five remaining miles to Savannah. Mr. Ingham,

Mr. Delamotte, and my brother, were surprised at my unexpected visit:

but it being late, we each retired to his respective corner of the room,

where, without the help of a bed, we slept soundly till morning.

Wed., May 19th. According to our agreement, my brother set forward

for Frederica, and I took charge of Savannah in his absence. The

hardest duty imposed on me was on expounding the lesson morning

and evening to one hundred hearers. I was surprised at my own

confidence, and acknowledged it not my own. The day was usually

divided between visiting my parishioners, considering the lesson, and

conversing with Mr. lngham, Delamotte, and Appee.

Tues., May 25th. I visited a girl of fifteen, who lay dying of an incurable illness. She had been in that condition many months, as her parents,

some of the best people of the town, informed me. I started at the

sight of a breathing corpse. Never was real corpse half so ghastly.

Her groans and screams alone distinguished her from one. They had

no intermission: yet was she perfectly sensible, as appeared by her

feebly lifting up her eyes, when I bade her trust in God, and read the

prayers for the energumens. We were all in tears. She made signs for

me to come again.

Fri., May 28th. Mr. Oglethorpe returned from the frontiers. The

following account of his expedition I extracted out of his letter to the

Trustees:-

"After that flagrant breach of the law of nations, putting our

messengers, sent with a flag of truce, under arrest, I could expect

nothing but farther hostilities, and therefore prepared to repel force

by force. We fortified, with the utmost speed that the smallness of our

number would allow, St. George's Point, within sight of the Spanish

outguards, and were much facilitated by finding the ruins of a fort,

built by Sir Francis Drake: so that we had nothing to do but to repair

and palisade the breaches made by time, and to clear the ditches,

which were originally thirty foot deep. The Independent Company and

man-of-war being posted below Frederica, I drew out from thence,

and from the Scotch settlements, what men I possibly could, to

increase the garrison on St. George's Point. While we were getting

down recruits and cannon, the Governor of Augustine, having before

put our messengers under arrest, sent out Don Ignatio, Colonel of foot,

with thirty of his picked men, some Yamasaw Indians, and a strong

boat's crew, about sixty men, in a launch, to reconnoitre our

settlements; and, if he had found us so weak as the advices from

Carolina said we were, to dislodge us. Don Ignatio came out by sea,

and attempted to get undiscovered into Jekyl's Sound; was discovered

by Ensign Delegall, who commanded guard upon the sea-point. He

hailed them to give an account who they were; which they refusing, he

fired some cannon with powder; and about the same time they

discovered the man-of-war lying within the sound. They ran out to sea

with great precipitation, and strove to get in at another inlet, by the

island of Cumberland; where the Scotch from St. Andrews challenged them. They neither answered, nor hung out colours, but rowed away

in such haste, that the same night they reached the Spanish outguards,

on St. John's river, near sixty miles distant.

"Don Ignatio landed in the night, and had a conference with Don

Pedro de Lamberti, the Commander of the Spanish horse; who had

come up by land to the look-out, with one hundred and sixty foot, and

fifty horse. They concluded by the two forts they had met with, and

the man-of-war's being there, that all our strength lay at Frederica,

and that we were weak at Fort St. George; therefore resolved to try to

surprise some of our boats, and upon their intelligence leave their

horses, carry over their men by water, and attack us the night

following. This was on Wednesday. I, having discovered some fires on

the Spanish main, concluded troops came down, and therefore, in

order to make them delay attacking us till our succours should arrive

on Thursday morning, I had two carriage-guns, and two swivel-guns,

which we had brought with us, carried into the woods, that the

Spaniards might not distinguish where they were fired; and ordered

the swivel-guns to be re-charged so often as to make a salute of seven,

and with the carriage-guns fired five shot in answer. The swivel-guns,

by reason of the smallness of the report, seemed like a ship at a

distance saluting, and the carriage-guns like batteries answering from

the shore.

"I set out with two boats, and a flag of truce, to meet the Spaniards.

They concluded from the guns, as I have heard since, that there was a

new strength arrival; in which they were confirmed by our boats

rowing briskly toward them: on which their launch thought proper to

make the best of their way toward Augustine. There the soldiers and

boatmen, fatigued with over-labour, spread such dismal accounts,

magnifying our strength and diligence, in order to save their own

reputation, that they created a general uproar among the people.

"That night I had several fires made in the woods, some at two, some

at three, miles' distance from Point St. George. On Friday morning the

foot and horse, under the command of Don Pedro, finding themselves

abandoned by the launch, and therefore in no possibility of passing

over into the island against us; and from the many fires in the woods

collecting that the Creek Indians were come up; having left a small guard of horse to observe our motions, retired in good order to

Augustine. Their arrival doubled the confusion, they apprehending

that if the Indians should cut off their communication by land, as the

man-of-war might do by sea, they should perish by famine. The

Governor was obliged to call a council of war, in which the oldest

officers, and indeed almost all, gave their opinion, that the gentlemen

sent by me should be immediately released, and sent back in the most

honourable manner, with an officer attending them, to treat with me,

and desire me to restrain the Indians from invading them: at the same

time to ask me why we settled upon lands and territories belonging to

the King of Spain.

"Not knowing anything of these proceedings, except that the

Spaniards were retired, I lay at Fort St. George from Thursday to

Sunday; in which time fresh troops arrived: and falling all of us to

work, with the officers and men of the King's troop, who distinguished

themselves upon this occasion, we mounted some guns upon the

batteries along the river, and got the fortifications in good

forwardness; and having left the fort under the command of Captain

Hermsdorf, retired with the utmost diligence to Frederica.

"There I found the King of the Uchees, with thirty men, who offered to

assist me with one hundred more against the Spaniards. King Tome

Chachi was also there, with thirty men, and an account that hundreds

of the Creeks eagerly desired to fall upon the Spaniards. In three days I

set out with a large periagua, and fifty men, cannon and provision for

two months, two ten-cared boats, and the Indians in their own boats,

to relieve St. George, which I imagined by that time might be besieged.

God was pleased to prosper us; so that about fifteen miles from St.

George's, being fortunately an hour a-head of the rest of the boats, I

met a Spanish boat, with a flag of truce flying, and Mr. Dempsey, and

the gentlemen sent to Augustine, in her, together with Don Pedro de

Lamberti, Captain of their troop of horse, and Don Manuel, Secretary

to the Governor, and Adjutant of the garrison. It was lucky the Indiana

were not foremost; for if they had been, they would certainly have

engaged the Spanish boat; which, as it was, I could hardly prevent, by

sending a ten-cared boat to guard them to Frederica. Then I ordered

them to be received on board the man-of-war, where they dined with me. I received them with the greatest form I could, having a guard of

the King's troops on the right hand, with their bayonets fixed; and on

the left hand the Highlanders, with their targets, and broad-swords

drawn.

"After dinner we drank the King of Britain's and the King of Spain's

health, under the discharge of cannon from the ship; which was

answered with fifteen pieces of cannon from Delegall's fort, at the sea-

point. That again was followed by the cannon from the fort of St.

Andrews, and that by those of Frederica and the Darien, as I had

before ordered. The Spaniards seemed extremely surprised that there

should be so many forts, and all within hearing of one another. Don

Pedro smiled, and said, ' No wonder Don Ignatio made more haste

home than out.' After the healths were done, a great number of

Indians came on board, naked, painted, and their heads dressed in

feathers. They demanded of me justice against the Spaniards, for

having killed some of their men in time of full peace. They farther

proved, that after the woman was taken, she was abused by numbers

of men; and when she had satisfied their lust for two days, they

inhumanly burned her alive.

"Don Pedro, having asked several questions, acknowledged himself

fully satisfied of the fact; excusing it by saying he was then in Mexico;

and that the Governor, being newly come from Spain, and not knowing

the customs of the country, had sent out Indians under the command

of the Pohoia King of the Floridas, who had exceeded his orders, which

were not to make war with the Creeks. But the Indians not being

content with that answer, he undertook that, at his return to

Augustine, he would have the Pohoia King put to death, if he could be

taken; and if he could not, that the Spaniards would supply his people

with neither powder, arms, nor anything else, but leave them to the

Creeks. The Indians answered that he spake well; and if the Spaniards

did what he said, all should be white between them; but if not, they

would take revenge; from which, at my desire, they would abstain till

a final answer came.

"The Indian matters being thus settled, we had a conference with the

Spanish Commissioners. They thanked me for my restraining the

Indians who were in my power, and hoped I would extend that care to the upper Indians. They then, after having produced their credentials,

presented a paper, the contents whereof were to know by what title I

settled upon St. Simon's, being lands belonging to the King of Spain. I

took the paper, promising an answer the next day. The substance was,

that the lands belonged to the King of England by undoubted right;

that I had proceeded with the utmost caution, having taken with me

Indians, the natives, and possessors of those lands; that I had

examined every place, to see if there were any Spanish possessions,

and went forward till I found an outguard of theirs, over against which

I settled the English, without committing any hostilities, or dislodging

any. Therefore-I did not extend the King's dominions, but only settled

with regular garrisons that part of them which was before a shelter

for Indians, Pireks, and such sort of disorderly men.

"The rest of the evening we spent in conversation, which chiefly

turned upon the convenience it would be, both to the Spaniards and

English, to have regular garrisons in sight of each other. Don Pedro

smiled, and said he readily agreed to that; and should like very well to

have their Spanish guard upon the south side of the river (which is

within five miles of Charlestown, and where the Spaniards had a

garrison in King Charles the First's time). I replied, I thought it was

better as it was for there were a great many people living between,

who could never be persuaded to come into his sentiments. At last

Don Pedro acquainted me, that he thought the Spaniards would refer

the settling of the limits to the courts of Europe: for which purpose he

would write to their court and in the meantime desired no hostilities

might be committed; and that I would send up a Commissary to sign

with the Government an agreement to this purpose. I thereupon

appointed Mr. Dempsey to be my Commissary, and to return with

them.

"Don Pedro is the ruling man in Augustine, and has more interest with

the Council of War than the Governor. As he passed by St. George's

Point, he sent a whole ox as a present to their garrison. He gave me

some sweetmeats and chocolate. I gave him a gold watch, a gun, and

fresh provisions. To Don Manuel I gave a silver watch, and sent back a

boat to escort them. If the Spaniards had committed any hostilities, I

could, by the help of the Indians, have destroyed Augustine with great facility. But, God be praised, by His blessing, the diligence of Dempsey,

and the prudence of Don Pedro, all bloodshed was avoided."

Sat., May 29th. At ten this evening I first met my traders, at Mr.

Causton's, the head bailiff: as I did some or other of them every day for

some weeks.

Mon., May 31st. About noon Mr. Oglethorpe sent us word that he was

going to court. We went, and heard his speech to the people, in the

close of which he said, "If any one here has been abused or oppressed

by any man, in or out of employment, he has free and full liberty of

complaining. Let him deliver in his complaints in writing, at my house.

I will read all over by myself, and do every particular man justice."

At eight in the evening I waited upon him, and found the three

Magistrates, who seemed much alarmed by his speech, and hoped he

would not discourage government. He dismissed them, and told me,

he feared his following my brother's advice, in hearing all complaints,

would ruin the people; and he should never have any to serve him. I

replied, I thought the contrary; and that such liberty was the happiest

thing that could happen to the colony, and much to be desired by all

good men. He fell, I know not how, into talk of Frederica, and said,

Sun., June 6th. I passed good part of this as of every day in conversing

with Mr. Appee, who generally breakfasted and supped at our house.

The subject of our discourse was my intention of resigning my place,

which I resolved to do after my last conference with Mr. Oglethorpe.

The giving up my salary and certain hopes of preferment weighed

nothing against my resolution. I made Mr. Appee a proffer of them,

which he did not accept, being obliged to return, to look after his

fortune in Holland.

Tues., June 8th. I was present at court, and heard the accusations

against Mr. Causton, who stood by while Parker, the first tribune of the

people, on whom the malcontents had built all their hopes, brought

the heaviest charges I suppose that could be brought against him. But

they were so incredible, trifling, and childish, that I thought them a full

vindication of the Magistrates, and admired Mr. Oglethorpe's patience

in hearing them.

Wed., June 16th. This and many foregoing days have been mostly

spent in drawing up bonds and affidavits, licences and instructions,

for the traders; the evenings in writing letters for Mr. Oglethorpe. We

seldom parted till midnight. To-night, at half-hour past twelve, he set

out in the scout-boat for Frederica. I went to bed at one, and rose

again at four; but found no effect this variety of fatigue had upon my

body till some time after.

Sun., June 20th. Walking in the Trustees' garden, I met the Miss

Boveys, whom I had never been in company with. I found some

inclination to join them; but it was a very short-lived curiosity.

Sat., June 26th. Mr. Oglethorpe and my brother returned from

Frederica.

Thur., July 1st. I was at court while the Creek Indians had an audience

with Mr. Oglethorpe; which I took down (as several afterwards) in

short hand.

Wed., July 7th. Between four and five this morning Mr. Delamotte and I

went into the Savannah. We chose this hour for bathing, both for the

coolness, and because the alligators were not stirring so soon. We

heard them indeed snoring all around us; and one very early riser

swam by within a few yards of us. On Friday morning we had hardly

left our usual place of swimming, when we saw an alligator in

possession of it. Once afterwards Mr. Delamotte was in great danger;

for an alligator rose just behind him, and pursued him to the land,

whither he narrowly escaped.

Sat., July 10th. I was waked by the news my brother brought us, of

Miss Bovey's sudden death. It called up all my sorrow and envy. "Ah,

poor Ophelia!" was continually in my mind, "I thought thou shouldst

have been my Hamlet's wife." Mr. Appee was just set out for

Charlestown, [on his way to] Holland, intending to return, when he

had settled his affairs, and marry her. "But death had quicker wings

than love."

The following evening I saw her in her coffin, and soon seen in her

grave.

Wed., July 21st. I heard by my brother that I was to set sail in a few

days for England.

Thur., July 22. To-day I got their licences signed by Mr. Oglethorpe,

countersigned them myself, and so entirely washed my hands of the

traders.

Sun., July 25th. I resigned my Secretary's place, in a letter to Mr.

Oglethorpe. After prayers he took me aside, and asked me whether all

I had said was not summed up in the line he showed me on my letter:-

I leave as gifts things more suitable to you.

"Sir, to yourself your slighted gifts I leave,

Less fit for me to take, than you to give."

I answered, I desired not to lose his esteem, but could not preserve it

with the loss of my soul. He answered, he was satisfied of my regard

for him; owned my argument drawn from the heart unanswerable;

and yet, said he, "I would desire you not to let the Trustees know your

resolution of resigning. There are many hungry fellows ready to catch

at the office; and in my absence I cannot put in one of my own

choosing. The best I can hope for is an honest Presbyterian, as many of

the Trustees are such. Perhaps they may send me a bad man; and how

far such a one may influence the traders, and obstruct the reception of

the Gospel among the Heathen, you know. I shall be in England before

you leave it. Then you may either put in a deputy or resign.

"You need not be detained in London above three days; and only speak

to some of my particular friends, (Vernon, Hutchinson, and Towers,) to

the Board of Trustees, when called upon, and the Board of Trade.

"On many accounts I should recommend to you marriage, rather than

celibacy. You are of a social temper, and would find in a married state

the difficulties of working out your salvation exceedingly lessened,

and your helps as much increased."

Mon., July 26th. The words which concluded the lesson, and my stay in

Georgia, were, "Arise, let us go hence." Accordingly at twelve I took my final leave of Savannah.

When the boat put off I was surprised that I felt no more joy in leaving

such a scene of sorrows.

July 31st. I arrived with my brother at Charlestown. I lay that night at

an inn. Next morning I was much rejoiced at hearing Mr. Appee was

still in town, waiting for my company to England. His ingenuous, open

temper, and disengagement from the world, made me promise myself

a very improving and agreeable voyage: especially as I doubted not

but the sudden death of his mistress had taken off that appearance of

lightness, which I attributed rather to his youth and education, than

any natural inconstancy. After breakfasting with Mr. Eveley, a

merchant who had bespoke lodgings for us, I went in quest of my

friend. We met with equal satisfaction on both sides: but I did not

observe those deep traces of sorrow and seriousness which I

expected. I asked him whether his loss had had its due effect, in

making his heart more tender, and susceptible of divine impressions.

By his answer I concluded his heart was right, and its uppermost

desire was to recover the divine image.

Something of this desire I felt myself at the holy sacrament, and found

myself encouraged, by an unusual hope of pardon, to strive against

sin.

Mon., August 2nd. I had observed much, and heard more, of the

cruelty of masters towards their negroes; but now I received an

authentic account of some horrid instances thereof. The giving a child

a slave of its own age to tyrannize over, to beat and abuse out of sport,

was, I myself saw, a common practice. Nor is it strange, being thus

trained up in cruelty, they should afterwards arrive at so great

perfection in it; that Mr. Star, a gentleman I often met at Mr. Lasserre's,

should, as he himself informed L., first nail up a negro by the ears,

then order him to be whipped in the severest manner, and then to

have scalding water thrown over him, so that the poor creature could

not stir for four months after. Another much-applauded punishment

is, drawing their slaves' teeth. One Colonel Lynch is universally known

to have cut off a poor negro's legs; and to kill several of them every

year by his barbarities.

It were endless to recount all the shocking instances of diabolical

cruelty which these men (as they call themselves daily practise upon

their fellow-creatures; and that on the most trivial occasions. I shall only mention one more, related to me by a Swiss gentleman, Mr.

Zouberbuhler, an eye-witness, of Mr. Hill, a dancing-master in

Charlestown. He whipped a she-slave so long, that she fell down at his

feet for dead. When, by the help of a physician, she was so far

recovered as to show signs of life, he repeated the whipping with

equal rigour, and concluded with dropping hot sealing-wax upon her

flesh. Her crime was overfilling a tea-cup.

These horrid cruelties are the less to be wondered at, because the

government itself, in effect, countenances and allows them to kill their

slaves, by the ridiculous penalty appointed for it, of about seven

pounds sterling, half of which is usually saved by the criminal's

informing against himself. This I can look upon as no other than a

public act to indemnify murder.

Wed., August 11th. Coming on board our ship, I found the honest

Captain had let my cabin to another. My flux and fever that has hung

upon me, forced me for some nights past to go into a bed; but now my

only bed was a chest, on which I threw myself in my boots, and was

not overmuch troubled with sleep till the morning. What was still

worse, I then had no asylum to fly to from the Captain; the most

beastly man I ever saw; a lewd, drunken, quarrelsome fool; praying,

and yet swearing continually. The first sight I had of him was upon the

cabin-floor, stark naked, and dead drunk.

Fri., August 13th. The wind was still contrary; so that we were forced

to lie off the bar, about five miles from Charlestown.

Mon., August 16th. A faint breeze springing up, the pilot, weary of

waiting a week to no purpose, said he would venture over the bar,

though he feared there was not water enough. Accordingly we

attempted it, and had got above half of the two miles between us and

the sea, when a violent squall arose, and drove the ship before it with

incredible swiftness. Before it began we were almost becalmed, so

that it saved the ship, at least, from being a-ground, though with the

immediate hazard both of that and our lives. The sailors were in great

consternation, expecting to be stranded every moment. The pilot

cursed the ship most heartily, and the hour he set foot in her. Having

scraped along the ground for some minutes before, the ship at last stuck. She got clear, and stuck fast a second time; and immediately fell

into seven fathom water.

The Mate afterwards told me, it was one thousand to one but she had

been lost by the Captain's folly and ignorance, in letting fly the

mainsail, while we struck on the bar; which was the surest way to fix

her there; as it must have done had we not been on the very edge of it.

Tues., August 17th. We were much surprised (the passengers, I mean)

at finding, as soon as over the bar, that two of our twelve sailors were

obliged to pump every half-hour.

Mon., August 23rd. I rose in the night to appease a quarrel between

the second Mate and the Captain, who was continually interrupting

the officers in their duty; giving out, as they informed me, such orders

as would, if followed, cost them the ship and their lives. His

indignation at present was occasioned by their furling some of the

sails in the greatest squall we have yet met with.

Thur., August 26th. We saw a brigantine, standing to the windward of

us, but quickly lost sight of her. Had she come near us, Mr. Appee and I

intended to have gone on board her; for we cannot yet believe we shall

come to England in this ship.

Fri., August 27th. We came to an allowance of water, the Captain

knowing nothing of what we had on board, till the officers informed

him. Indeed, at his rate of drinking, we must quickly come to a shorter

allowance; for while any of his half-hogshead of rum remains, here

will be nothing but punch, and drams, and drunkenness without end.

This morning Mr. Appee laid aside his mask. He began by telling me all

Mr. Oglethorpe had ever said to him, particularly his inmost thoughts

of my brother and me; that he ridiculed our pretended fasting in the

ship; that he took all my abstemiousness for mere hypocrisy, and put

on for fear of my brother; for he saw how very uneasy I was under the

restraint; that he much blamed my carelessness, my closeness, my

frightening the people, and stirring them up to mutiny, &c., &c.; that he found I apprehended being turned out of my office, and therefore

pretended to be weary of it; that to save my reputation, he had found

me an errand to England, but never expected my return, any more than my brother's going to the Indians, which he well knew he never

intended, but he would make his own use of him; that he greatly

admired his finesse, in offering to go to the Choctaws in all haste, but

at the same time procuring the Germans to dissuade him. In a word,

he believed him to have a little sincerity, but more vanity: me to have

much vanity, but no sincerity at all.

I asked Appee whether his judgment was the same. He answered,

"Yes;" that my brother, he believed, was labouring to establish a

character for sanctity; was exceedingly subtle, keeping me in the dark,

as well as all others; yet credulous, and easy to be imposed upon

himself; that he pitied his ignorance, in taking him (Appee) to be

sincere; particularly in regard to his breaking off with Miss Bovey,

which he intended, not in pursuance of his ghostly advice, but of Mr.

Oglethorpe's, who had told him she was below his aspiring genius;

that after his fine talk with my brother, he never made the least

alteration in his own behaviour, or thought any farther about it.

While he was giving this blessed account of himself, I could not help

reflecting on the profound sagacity and spiritual discernment of my

brother and myself; particularly his, who was born for the benefit of

knaves. If you would be alert, may you wake up. For my own part, I

will never imitate, I will ever beware of, men, as He who best knows

them advises.

I will not think all men rogues, till I find them otherwise, (according to

Appee's avowed principle,)but I will insist upon a far different

probation from what my brother requires, before I take any one into

my confidence.

I next inquired what his thoughts were of me. He frankly replied, he

took me to be partly in earnest; but I had a much greater mind to

please myself than to please God. Yet as for money, I did not much

value it; but in my eagerness for pleasure and praise, I was a man after

his own heart.: that as I could not hold it, he wished I would leave off

my strictness; for I should then be much better company. As for

himself, he said his only principle was an insatiable thirst of glory;

that Georgia was too narrow a sphere for him, and that therefore he

should never see it more.

Yet he desired my friendship, because I had learning, was sincere, and

of his temper; but he should like me much better, if I were not a

Parson. I had before let him into my own affairs, and read him my

letter of resignation to Mr. Oglethorpe. His remark upon that was, "It is finely calculated for the end you propose, - the engaging Mr.

Oglethorpe's opinion and interest; but he will understand you."

Sat., August 28th. After a restless, tempestuous night, I hardly rose at

eight. Our happier Captain, having got his dose, could sleep a day and

a night upon the stretch, and defy either pumps or squall to wake him.

Mon., August 30th. At noon we were alarmed by an outcry of the

sailors, at their having continued pumping several hours, without

being able to keep the water under. They desired the Captain to put

into some port, before they were got out to sea too far for returning;

but he was too drunk to regard them. At five the sailors came down in

a body to the great cabin, waked, and told him it was as much as their

lives were worth to proceed on the voyage, unless their leaks were

stopped; that he remembered it was as much as ever they could do to

keep the ship above water in their passage from Boston, being forced

to pump without ceasing; that the turpentine fell down upon, and

choked up, the pumps continually: nor was it possible to get at it, or to

hold out in such continual labour; which made them so thirsty, they

could not live on their allowance of water; that they must come to

shorter still, through his neglect to take in five more hogsheads of

water, as his Mate advised him; that he owned they had no candles for

half the voyage: on all which accounts they begged him to consider

whether their common safety did not require them to put in at some

land, for more water and candles, and, above all, to stop their leaks.

The Captain, having now slept out his rum, replied, "To be sure, the

men talked reason," and, without consulting any of his officers,

immediately gave orders to stand away for Boston.

September 4 - December 30, 1736

Sat., September 4th. Appee laid a train for the Captain, and betrayed

him into talking lewdly; for which I reproved him too sharply, and

thereby increased his bedsfitness. He abused me plentifully, till I ceased to take any notice of him. In the evening he set upon me again;

but I turned from him, and talked Latin to Zouberbuhler. This made

him more outrageous. He blew out the candle by which I was writing.

Zouberbuhler lit it; and he blew it out again: on which we all set upon

him; I only talking Latin or Greek. He told me I was drunk, mad, an

emissary, a Jesuit, a devil; but could not get one English word from me.

The gentlemen, particularly Appee, baited him to his heart's content;

and having laughed upon the stretch till near midnight, we then

suffered the poor beast to return to his litter. The next day we said

neither good nor bad to him; but he was not continent of speech. His

indignation was mostly vented upon me, "the arch-rebel," as he called me, for my "audacious talk." In the evening he again put out

Zouberbuhler's candle; upon which Appee pulled out his spieket of

the rum, and let it run about the cabin. This was the cruellest

Punishment ['that] could have been devised; and farther heightened

by our mirth at his inimitable resentment. Zouberbuhler lighted up

the candle in his own cabin every now and then, bringing it into the

great cabin; and when the Captain (whose motions were not of the

nimblest) had come out of bed to put it out, Zouberbuhler carried it

back again. He called down his men ten times, ordering them to bind

us in our beds, to our and their no small diversion. He offered to get at

the candle in Zouberbuhler's cabin; but the Swiss stood sentinel at his

cabin-door, and then he might as well have wrenched a bone from

Cerberus. The Captain gave it over, as impossible, drank a hearty

dram, and dropped asleep.

Wed., September 15th. This is the first time I have heard a sailor

confess it was a storm. We lay under our mainsail, and let the ship

drive, being by conjecture about sixty leagues from Boston, upon

George's Bank; though, as we hoped, past the shoals in it. The Captain

never troubled himself about anything; but lay snoring even in such a

night as the last, though frequently called, without ever stirring, either

for squalls, or soundings, or shoals.

In the afternoon the Mate came down, having sounded, and found

forty, and soon after twenty, fathom; told the Captain he apprehended

coming into shoaler water still; and therefore it would be necessary to

reef the foresail and mainsail in readiness, that in case we fell foul of the shoals, (being upon George's Bank, and in a storm,) the ship might

have head-way, to get clear again. This the Captain absolutely refused;

and, though told it could do no possible harm, and might be the saving

of the ship and us, persisted in his obstinacy; so that the Mate left him

to sleep, and the ship to take care of itself. But it pleased God to abate

the storm, and on Thursday, about twelve, entirely to remove it.

Mon., September 20th. At seven, Mr. Graham, the first Mate, came to

ask for directions, as he constantly does, and the Captain as constantly

shifting him off, and leaving the whole management of the ship to him,

or chance, or any body. The conversation being somewhat remarkable,

I took it down in short-hand, as they were speaking it.

MATE - Captain Indivine, what would you have us do? What course

would you have us to steer to-night?"

CAPTAIN. - "Even what course you will. We have a fair wind."

M. - "Yes, Sir; and it drives us full upon the land, which cannot be many leagues off."

C. - "Then I think you had best keep forward."

M. - "Would you have us go on all night, and venture running upon the

land?"

C. - "I don't know. Go on."

M. - "But there are shoals and rocks before us."

C. - "Why, then, have a good look-out."

M. - "But you cannot see twice the ship's length. What would you

order me to do?"

C. - "These rebels and emissaries have excited you to come and ask for

orders. I don't know what you mean."

M. - "Sir, nobody has excited me. I come, as it is my duty, to my Captain for directions."

C. - "Have you a mind to quarrel with me?"

M. - "I have a mind to know what you will do."

C. - "Nay, what will you do, if it come to that?"

M. - "Am I your Captain or you mine?"

C. - "I am your Captain, and will make you know it, Mr. Man. Do what I

order you; for you must and shall."

M. - "Why, Sir, you order me nothing."

C. - "You would not have me come upon deck myself, sure."

M. - "If you did, I should not think it would be much amiss. Some

Captains would not have stirred off deck a moment in such a night as

this. Here you lie, without so much as ever once looking out, to see

how things are."

C. - "Yes, I have been upon deck this very day."

M. - "But you have taken no account of anything, or given yourself the

least trouble about the ship, for many days past."

C. - "It is all one for that. I know where we are exactly."

M. - "How far do you think we may be from land?"

C. - "Why, just thirty-five leagues. I am sure of it."

M. - "How is that possible? You have taken no observation this

fortnight; nor have we got one these four days."

C. - "No matter for that. I know we are safe."

M. - "The most skilful sailor alive cannot know it. Be pleased only to

declare what you would have done. Shall we sail on? Shall we lay by?

Shall we alter our course? Shall we stand in and off?" He went on

repeating such questions again and again; but as to giving an answer,

the Captain chose to be excused; till the Mate, quite out of patience,

having waited an hour to no purpose, left him; and the Captain

concluded all with, "Jack, give me a dram!"

Tues., September 21st. The sailors, who were upon' deck all night, saw

three large ships coming, as they supposed, out of the bay; but in vain

attempted to speak with them. At three I was waked by a cry of

"Land!" The Mate said we were just upon it; for he saw the light of the watch-house; and if they did not tack about immediately, they would

be upon the rocks, which lay just before them under the water. At the

same time it blew a storm. The uproar was so great, that it even

waked the Captain, who started up, ran to his rum, drank a hearty

draught, and then looked upon deck; but not much liking things there,

came down again immediately, cried, "Ay, ay; all will be well;" and

dropped asleep again.

Wed., September 22nd. Having sailed for some hours without

discovering land, we began to think the light which the Mate had seen

was of some ship, and not the lighthouse. At two we made land; which

the men soon found to be Cape Cod, about eighteen leagues from

Boston. The wind blew from shore, yet we kept our course. At

midnight the storm gave place to a calm. These have constantly

succeeded each other since our leaving Charlestown.

Thur., September 23rd. The fineness of the weather invited even Mr.

Appee upon deck, who usually disposes of twenty-three of the twenty-

four hours in bed. His vanity betrayed him into farther discoveries of

himself. He laboured to show me the only difference between us lay in

externals, through the difference of our education. I had the same

views that he had, but was forced by the restraints of a narrower

education to dissemble those inclinations which he had given a loose

to. The case was the same with my brother: a much better hypocrite,

he said, than me; and who would have made an excellent Jesuit. But

Mr. Oglethorpe understood him, though for his own convenience he

would not seem to do so.

Upon my asking him how he accounted for the great pains my brother

had taken with him, he readily answered, That was all grimace. My

brother could not but be mightily pleased with the reputation such a

convert would gain to his sanctity, which had charms to win over so

wild a young gentleman, of his parts. But how could you bear him so

long, if you had no esteem for him, or regard to his advice "Why, it was

so new a gratification to me to be thought religious, that I found no

difficulty in keeping on the mask: and I had got such a knack of going

to prayers and sacrament, that I don't know but I should have been

actually caught at last."

Fri., September 24th. Being within sight of the lighthouse, at nine in

the morning, the pilot came on board us. At two I gladly obeyed his

hasty summons, and went into his boat with the other passengers,

bidding an hearty farewell to our wretched ship, and more wretched

Captain, who for the two last days had, most happily for us, lain dead

drunk on the floor, without sense or motion.

I was at leisure now to contemplate a prospect entirely new, and

beautiful beyond all I had ever seen. We sailed smoothly on, in a vast

bason, as it seemed, bounded on all sides with small innumerable

islands. Some of these were entire rock, in height and colour not

unlike Dover cliffs: others steep, and covered with woods. Here and

there lay a round hill, entirely clothed with green; and all at such equal

distances, that the passages seemed artificially made, to admit the

narrow streams between.

Having passed one of these passages, we were presented With a new

set of hills, and rocks, and woods, in endless variety; till we came to

the castle, three miles from Boston. From thence we had a full view of

the town, stretched out a mile and a half upon the shore, in a

semicircle. We landed at Long Wharf, which we walked straight up,

having a row of houses on one side, and near two hundred sail of

ships on the other. I lodged in a public house; went to bed at eleven.

Appee followed me, drunk, between one and two in the morning.

Sat., September 25th. I called several times at Mr. Price, the

Commissary's, before I found him at home. At first he looked as not

believing me to be a Clergyman (my ship-clothes not being the best

credentials). But when I returned in my habit, (Dr. Cutler having met

him meantime, and informed him of me,) he received me very

cordially, and pressed me to live with him while I stayed in Boston.

Sun., September 26th. I preached in the morning at Dr. Cutler's church,

in the afternoon at Mr. Price's, on the one thing needful.

In the evening I first fell into company with Mr. John Chicheley, a right

honest zealous advocate for the Church of England, who has, on that

account, been cruelly persecuted by the Presbyterians.

Thur., September 30th. In the morning I waited upon the Governor. At noon Mr. Millar, a good-natured Clergyman, visited me. The rest of this

and the following day I employed in writing to my friends at

Charlestown.

Fri., October 1st. I wrote to my brother concerning my return to

Georgia, which I found myself inclined to refer wholly to God.

Sat., October 2nd. I rode out with Mr. Price, in his chaise, to see the

country, which is wonderfully delightful.

The only passage out of town is a neck of land about two hundred

yards over; all the rest being encircled with the sea. The temperate air,

the clear rivulets, and the beautiful hills and dales, which we

everywhere met with, seemed to present the very reverse of Georgia.

Sun., October 3rd. After near two months' want of it, I again enjoyed

the benefit of the sacrament, which I assisted Dr. Cutler to administer.

I preached on, "There the wicked cease from troubling, and there the

weary are at rest:" as I did again in the afternoon for Mr. Price, though I found my strength sensibly abated

Mon., October 4th. I rode with Mr. and Mrs. Price, Dr. Cutler, his son,

and Mr. Brig, (two Cambridge scholars,) to see Mr. Millar, at Braintree.

At our return we found Mr. Davenport, who was come to see me, a

worthy Clergyman, as deserving of the name as any I see in New

England.

Tues., October 5th. I dined at Mr. Plasted's, a London acquaintance of

my brother's; who from thence took occasion to find me out, and

showed me all the friendship and civility he could, while I stayed in

Boston. After dinner I drove Mr. Cutler to Cambridge. I had only time

to observe the civility of the Fellows, the regularity of the buildings,

and pleasantness of the situation.

Sat., October 9th. I was dragged out to consult Dr. Graves about my

increasing flux. He prescribed a vomit, from which I received much

benefit.

Sun., October 10th. I recovered a little strength in the sacrament; but

my body was extremely weakened by preaching twice.

Tues., October 12th. I supped with several of the Clergy, at Mr.

Chicheley's, who entertained us very agreeably with his adventures.

He seems to have excellent natural parts, much solid learning, and

true primitive piety; is acquainted with the power, and therefore holds

fast the form, of godliness; obstinate as was my father in good, and not

to be borne down by evil.

Thur., October 14th. I was taken up with the Clergy, in drawing up a

recommendation of him to the Bishop of London, for orders. The

Bishop had been formerly frightened from ordaining him, by the

outcries of the Presbyterians. They were wise to keep a man out of the

ministry, who had in a private capacity approved himself such a

champion for the Church.

Sat., October 16th. My illness increasing, notwithstanding all the

Doctors could do for me, I began seriously to consider my condition;

and at my evening hour of retirement found benefit from Pascal's

prayer in sickness.

Sun., October 17th. While I was talking at Mr. Chicheley's on spiritual

religion, his wife observed that I seemed to have much the same way

of thinking with Mr. Law. Glad I was and surprised to hear that good

man mentioned; and confessed, all I knew of religion was through

him. I found she was well acquainted with his Serious Call; and has

one of the two that are in New-England. I borrowed it, and passed the

evening in reading it to the family (Mr. Williams's, where I have been

some days). His daughter and he seemed satisfied and affected.

Mon., October 18th. Many appointed days of embarkation had come

and gone, without our embarking; but this was certainty to be the last.

Accordingly Mr. Millar came very early to attend me to the ship. I took

occasion to mention the book I had borrowed of his sister, Mrs.

Chicheley, and read him the characters of Cognatus and Uranius. He

liked them much, and promised he would carefully read the whole.

Breakfast and dinner passed, but no summons to go on board.

Tuesday and Wednesday I grew worse and worse; and on Thursday,

October 21st, was forced to keep my chamber through pain. Appee

came, and laboured all he could to dissuade me from the voyage,

promising himself to deliver my letters and papers, and excuse me to

Mr. Oglethorpe. Mr. Price, Williams, &c., joined him: but I put an end to their importunity, by assuring them, nothing less than death should

hinder my embarking.

Fri., October 22nd. All things being at last in readiness, the wind

providentially changed, and afforded me three days more to try

experiments. Within that time I vomited, purged, bled, sweated, and

took laudanum, which entirely drained me of the little strength I had

left. It may be of use hereafter to remember Appee's behaviour at

Boston. He gave out that his design in coming to Georgia had been to

take charge of the people there: but finding Mr. Oglethorpe just such a

genius as himself, he thought his own stay there was not so necessary,

but he might safely quit the interest of the colony; which, had it not

been to such a hand, he could never have prevailed upon himself to

do: that at present he was unresolved where to bestow himself; only

that it should be on that part of mankind which needed him the most:

that he was going to England about matters of the last importance.

Two or three letters of no moment he said, I carried; but all secret

dispatches, to the Duke of Newcastle, and other Ministers of state, he

was charged with. From the court of Great Britain he was to be sent

Envoy to Spain. His money, a few hundred pounds, he had (in some

companies)sent before him to England; in others, had turned it into

silver, and freighted Indivine's ship.

Mon., October 25th. I waked surprisingly better, though not yet able to

walk. This morning Dr. Graves came over from Charlestown to see me,

gave me physic and advice; which he likewise left in writing; but

would take no fee for either. The same civility I received from Dr.

Gibbons, Dr. Gardener, and others. A little after Mr. Chicheley came,

and brought me a summons to go aboard. Mr. Price drove me to the

wharf, having called by the way on some of my new friends, from

whom I have received all the instances of kindness in their power to

show.

When we came to the wharf, the boat was not ready; so we were

forced to walk half an hour in the open cold air. Mr. Chicheley helped

me into the boat, and covered me up. In about two hours we reached

the ship; and with Mr. Zouberbuhler, Mr. Appee, Mr. Cutler, and Mr.

Brig, went on board. I lay down in the state-room, less fatigued with

the passage than I expected.

Finding Appee wanted his state-room again, I quitted it, and accepted

Mr. Cutlet's offer of his cabin. I had a tolerable night, though stripped

of the conveniences I so long enjoyed on shore.

Tues., October 26th. I entered upon the Doctor's regimen, and quickly

found the benefit. When five leagues onward on our voyage, the wind

changing, forced us back again. In the evening it came fair, and by the

next day carried us clear of all land.

Wed., October 27th. I began public prayers in the great cabin. We had

seldom any present but the passengers. I had not yet strength to read

the lesson, nor attention for any harder study than Clarendon's

History. In the night I was much disquieted by the colic.

Thur., October 28th. The Captain warned me of a storm approaching.

In the evening, at eight, it came, and rose higher and higher, after I

thought it must have come to its strength; for I did not lose a moment

of it, being obliged by the return of my flux to rise continually. At last

the long-wished-for morning came, but brought no abatement of the

storm. There was so prodigious a sea, that it quickly washed away our

sheep, and half our hogs, and drowned most of our fowl. The ship had

been new caulked at Boston; how carefully, it now appeared: for being

deeply laden, the sea streamed in at the sides so plentifully, that it was

as much as four men could do, by continual pumping, to keep her

above water. I rose and lay down by turns, but could remain in no

posture long; Strove vehemently to pray, but in vain; persisted in

striving, yet still without effect. I prayed for power to pray, for faith in

Jesus Christ, continually repeating his name, till I felt the virtue of it at

last, and knew that I abode under the shadow of the Almighty.

It was now about three in the afternoon, and the storm at the height. I

endeavoured to encourage poor Mr. Brig and Cutler, who were in the

utmost agony of fear. I prayed with them, and for them, till four; at

which time the ship made so much water, that the Captain, finding it

otherwise impossible to save her from sinking, cut down the mizen

mast. In this dreadful moment, I bless God, I found the comfort of

hope; and such joy in finding I could hope, as the world can neither

give nor take away. I had that conviction of the power of God, present

with me, overruling my strongest passion, fear, and raising me above what I am by nature, as surpassed all rational evidence, and gave me a

taste of the divine goodness.

At the same time I found myself constrained in spirit to bear witness

to the truth, perhaps for the last time, before my poor friend Appee. I

went to him, declared the difference between one that feareth God,

and one that feareth him not; avowed my hope, not because I had

attained, but because I had endeavoured it; and testified my

expectation, if God should now require my soul of me, that he would

receive it to his mercy.

My poor friend was convinced, but stupid; owned the happiness of the

most imperfect Christian; an happiness he himself was a stranger to;

and therefore, he said, all his refuge was, in time of danger, to

persuade himself there was none. Mr. Cutler frequently calling upon

God to have mercy upon his soul, Appee confessed he greatly envied

him, as he had no manner of concern for his own. I advised him to

pray. He answered, it was mocking God to begin praying in danger,

when he had never done it in safety. I only added, I then hoped, if God

spared him now, he would immediately set himself about working out

his salvation, which depended on the one condition of exchanging this

world for the next. Mr. Zouberbuhler was present at this conference,

and behaved as a Christian ought to do.

I returned to Mr. Brig and Mr. Cutler, and endeavoured from their fear

to show them the want of religion, which was intended for our

support on such occasions; urged them to resolve, if God saved them

from this distress, that they would instantly, and entirely, give

themselves up to Him.

The wind was still as high as ever, but the motion rather less violent

since the cutting the mast; and we did not ship quite so much water. I

laid me down, utterly exhausted; but my distemper was so increased,

it would not suffer me to rest. Toward morning the sea heard and

obeyed the divine voice, "Peace, be still!"

Sun., October 31st. My first business to-day (may it be the business of

all my days!) was to offer up the sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving.

Then we all joined in thanks for our deliverance. Most of the day I was

on the bed, faint, and full of pain. At night I rose to prayers, but could not read them. I took a vomit, which gave me immediate ease, in

which I passed the rest of the night.

Mon., November 1st. In the afternoon the wind rose, and promised a

storm. I endeavoured to prepare myself and companions for it. It did

not fail our expectation; but was not so violent as the last. The sea

broke over us every ten minutes; and the ceaseless noise of the pumps

either kept off sleep, or continually interrupted it.

Tues., November 2nd. Still the poor sailors could have no respite; and

as their strength abated, their murmurings increased. At night, when

almost exhausted, they were relieved by a calm.

Wed., November 3rd. In the evening the wind arose again, and with

that the sea, which at ten broke in through one of the dark lights, and

filled the great cabin. It was vain to look for rest in such a hurricane. I

waited till two in the morning for its abatement; but it continued all

the following day in full majesty.

On Friday, November 5th, we met a ship bound for Boston, which had

been ten weeks on her passage from Bristol, and forced in the last

storm to throw most of her cargo overboard. Being short of

provisions, they desired a barrel of beef, which our Captain very

readily sent them, (though at the expense of much time and pains,)

and a cag of rum, to encourage their sailors to pump.

The wind came fair about midnight, but soon returned to the same

quarter.

Mon., November 8th. My flux returned with great violence.

Tues., November 9th. The men came down, and declared they could

keep the water under no longer; it gaining upon them every moment.

Therefore they desired the Captain would be pleased to lighten the

ship. He told them he knew what he had to do; bade them return to

their pumping, and ordered others to take in all the sails but the

mainsail. He stayed some time, (as he since told us, that he might not

discourage us,) and then went up; and as we lay by stopped several

leaks upon deck. This did considerable service; though it was still the

constant business of four men to keep the ship from filling.

During this time I often threw myself upon the bed, seeking rest, but finding none. I asked of God to spare me a little, that I might recover

strength; then cast my eye upon the word: "For my name's sake will I

defer mine anger; and for my praise will I refrain for thee, that I cut

thee not off." (Isai. 48:9.) My soul immediately returned to its rest, and I no longer felt the continuance of the storm.

Wed., November 10th. Toward night it pleased God to abate the wind,

so that I once more enjoyed the comfort of sleep.

Sat., November 13th. Never was a calm more seasonable than that

which Providence this day sent us. The men were so harassed, they

could work no longer; and the leaks increased so fast, that no less than

their uninterrupted labour could have kept the vessel from

foundering. All hands were now employed in stopping the leaks. The

Captain himself told us he had been heartily frightened yesterday,

with a danger he would now acquaint us with, since it was over: the

total stoppage of one of the pumps. He further informed us, that he

had stopped several openings in the sides of the ship, wide enough to

lay his fingers in; so that he wondered the poor men had been able to

keep her above water; and added, that the utmost he hoped for was,

that they might hold out till they could reach some of the western

islands. Just as the men had finished their work, .the calm gave place

to a fair wind.

Tues., November 23rd. I imparted to Mr. Zouberbuhler my intention of

discarding Appee as soon as we landed. He told me he wondered I had

not done it before; for he was such a man, so unprofitable, so

pernicious, that he himself would not be bound to go another voyage

with him for all the world; that he was so excessively vain, he thought

himself admired wherever he came; and I was so fond of him, that, for

all my talk of parting, I could not live without him. He added, he was

so notorious a liar, that he had long since ceased to believe one word

he said; and so utterly irreligious, that it was impossible to make a

friend of him. He talked so well on this subject, that I was convinced

he is not the mere man of honour Appee had represented him; but has

some better principle than the dream of a shadow to depend upon.

At midnight I was waked by a great uproar. So prodigious a sea broke

upon the ship, as filled it, and half-drowned the men upon deck; though by a particular providence none were washed overboard. The

swell lasted something longer than the rain, and high wind; and in the

morning we had our fair wind again; being the twelfth day since it was

first commanded to attend us.

In the afternoon we had another short but fierce blast, which brought

the wind still fairer for our running into the Channel, whence all

agreed we could not be far distant. At night I found Mr. Zouberbuhler

alone, who, anticipating what I intended to say, addressed me very

cordially, desiring my friendship and correspondence; complained of

having been linked so long to Appee, that he was become dead like

him, though he had had a fear of God, and some acquaintance with

Him, till this fatal voyage. He was full of care and thought about his

countrymen, whether he should bring them to New-England, or

Georgia. In the latter, he said, he saw little encouragement for true

piety, (which many of his poor Swiss were yet possessed of,) and

feared if they were settled there, they would be corrupted, like the

miserable Purlsburgers. He told me, Appee had proffered, if his

Spanish embassy failed, to attend him to Switzerland; but he would

never more trust such a man near him, or his people: such an

abominable liar, scoundrel, and thief; one who had been forced to fly

his country and the pursuit of justice, for robbing his father of three

hundred guineas.

A fair account of my friend Appee, - and of the twenty-four pounds I

have lent him! That a Dutchman should cheat me is nothing strange:

but how did he evade the wary eye of Mr. Oglethorpe Happy Miss

Bovey, to be delivered by death from such a man!

On Thursday night our wind failed us. When it was first sent, we had

not, in three weeks' sailing, reached the banks of Newfoundland,

which is a third part of our way: but this fortnight has almost brought

us home. The next day I was perfectly satisfied in the wind's turning

against us.

Sat., November 27th. Towards the evening it came fair as we could

wish. Ecce ireruin Crispinus! Mr. Zouberbuhler came to me, full of

abhorrence. "That Appee," said he, "is a very devil, made up of 93

falseness and lies! He is ever railing against you, behind your back, to the Captain and passengers, ridiculing the prayers, &c. He tells the

Captain, (as he did everybody at Boston,) that you are so ignorant, Mr.

Oglethorpe was forced to send him to take care of you. At Charlestown

he declared, in all companies, he was come with full powers to put an

end to the dispute between them and Georgia. Last night I overheard

him giving a blessed account of you to Mr. Brig. As soon as ever I come

to land I shall cast him off, and advise you to do the same: for while

you suffer him near you, he will not fail to do you all the mischief he

can."

Mon., November 29th. We were waked between six and seven by the

Captain crying out, "Land!" It was the Lizard-Point, about a league

distant. What wind there was, it was for us. I felt thankful for the

divine mercies. While I was walking upon deck, Appee came up to me,

metuens tale votum ereptum a faucibus; began with many professions

of friendship, hoped all little misunderstandings would be forgot; fell

into familiar discourse, as formerly; was sure I should never return to

Georgia; where Mr. Oglethorpe would allow none but his creatures, or

such as were some way subservient to his glory: "which, take my word

for it," said he, "is the principle of all his actions, as well as mine.

Christianity he has about as much as myself. I have given him some

unanswerable reasons against it." He was undetermined where to

spend the next year, but resolved to spend it all in quest of pleasure

and glory, - and confident I was just of his mind.

Wed., December 1st. The first thing I heard at day-break was the

Captain in an outrageous passion; for the ship, which, according to the

course he had ordered, ought to have been near the coast of France,

was, through the carelessness of the Mate, just upon the land at

Shoreham. He told me, that had not the day broke out as it did, the

ship must have run aground; and then all the art of man could not

have saved her; for we were land-locked on three sides, and had the

wind right astern: so that it was with the utmost difficulty, and not till

the afternoon, that we got clear. This lost us a day; for by the evening

we should have reached the Downs.

Appee took me aside once more, to try his skill upon me; besought me

not to alter my behaviour toward him when we should come to land;

denied, as ever he hoped for salvation, that he had ever spoke or wrote disrespectfully of me; detested the thought of such treachery,

with so many horrid imprecations, as I believed even a Dutchman

would have trembled at. The burden of all was, John Bull and Nicholas

Frog were too dear friends ever to think of parting. But John Bull

begged to be excused. Though I stood in admiration of his parts, I did

not choose they should be any longer exercised on me. In vain did he

resume our lodging together. I was deaf on that ear, and shifted the

discourse, which he still brought back again. "Well, my dear friend,

wherever you are," said he, "I will take a lodging next door."

Thur., December 2nd. By four in the afternoon we came within sight of

Beachy-Head; but the wind freshening, by nine we found ourselves

almost unawares over against Dover. We fired a gun for a pilot, but

none would come to us. We fell down into the Downs, over against

Deal, and fired two more. The Captain gave us warning that he

expected a pilot in an hour or two, at the farthest. I returned thanks to

God for bringing us to the haven where we would be; got my few

things in readiness, and laid me down, without disquiet or impatience

for two or three hours.

FRIDAY, December 3rd, 1736. At six the pilot came on board. It was

with much difficulty we got down into his boat. The sea was so rough,

that nothing less than our late series of deliverances could have

supported our confidence. In half an hour we reached the shore. I

knelt down, and blessed the Hand that had conducted me through

such inextricable mazes; and desired I might give up my country again

to God, when He should require.

Zouberbuhler appeared full of gratitude to God, and affection to me.

We all adjourned to an inn. Zouberbuhler and I walked to bespeak a

coach. I joined with the passengers in an hearty thanksgiving for our

safe arrival.

Between ten and eleven we set out in the coach; and by three reached

Canterbury; and by ten Sittingbourne. I had intended to lie with

Zouberbuhler; but upon an intimation from him, went and lay with

Appee, to hinder his having a different kind of bedfellow.

Sat., December 4th. Appee was so very grievous to us, that not only I,

but all the passengers, resolved this should be the last day of their acquaintance. At six in the evening we came safe to London. I

immediately took coach for Charles Rivington's, leaving my friend

Appee, who promised to come next day, and pay me what he owed me.

My namesake was much rejoiced to see me, and gave me great cause

of rejoicing by his account of our Oxford friends.

Sun., December 5th. I received comfort with the sacrament at St.

Paul's; and from thence went to Mr. Towers, who received me with

great affection; and heartily congratulated me on my arrival, which my

friends had long despaired of. He told me the agreeable news of Mr.

Oglethorpe's being expected daily.

The next I waited upon was good old Sir John Philips, who received

me as one alive from the dead. Here I heard a most blessed account of

our friends at Oxford; their increase, both in zeal and number. I then

hastened to Mr. Vernon, to deliver my letters. He received me very

affectionately, and pressed me to live with him during my stay in

London.

While we were talking, young Hutton called, having traced me thither,

in order to carry me home with him. We took coach for my good old

friend and host, his father. I entered with fear and trembling. My

reception was such as I expected from a family that entirely loved me,

but had given me over for dead, and bewailed me as their own child. A

Captain had told them that fifty per cent. assurance had been refused

for Indivine's ship; and a report was spread abroad that she had been

seen sink to the bottom.

The motion of the stage and hackney coaches occasioned the return of

my flux, which prevents my preaching or talking to my admirers.

Many such I have gained by Mr. Ingham's magnificent Journal. My

brother's Journal, too, the last I hope will ever be sent hither,) is in

every one's hands. Libent modo vivere, fient, Fient ista palam, cupient

et in acta referri.

Mon., December 6th. I spent an hour at my uncle's, equally welcome

and unexpected. They informed me my brother Hall was gone to a

curacy, very melancholy, and impatient at the mention of Georgia; and

that my sister Kezzy was gone to live with him. The bird will play with the snake, and the lambs with the tiger.

I waited upon Mr. Hutchinson, who soon fell upon the controverted

points. Here also I had an invitation to make his house my home.

Tues., December 7th. I called in the morning on Charles Rivington,

who gave me letters and a Journal from my brother in Georgia. After

leaving my Secretary's book with Mr. Towers, I waited upon the

Bishop of London.

In the ante-chamber I began his Journal, and read it through without

either surprise or impatience. His dropping my fatal letter, I hope will

convince him of what I never could, - his own great carelessness; and

the sufferings that brought upon him, of his inimitable blindness. His

simplicity in telling what and who were meant by the two Greek

words, was "outdoing his own outdoings." Surely all this will be

sufficient to teach him a little of the wisdom of the serpent, of which

he seems as utterly void, as his dear friend Mrs. H. is of the innocency

of the dove.

In the midst of these reflections I was called in, to deliver my letters.

His Lordship desired me to come next morning, having much to say to

me. I drove to Colonel Bladen, who was from home: then to Mr.

Pendarvis's, where we passed an agreeable hour, in mutual accounts

of our friends in England and America.

I returned to Mr. Hutton, where Dr. Hales, one of our Trustees, came to

see me. Much discourse we had of Georgia, particularly of Miss

Bovey's death, and my brother's persecutions among that stiff-necked

people. He seems a truly pious, humble Christian, full of zeal for God,

and love to man.

Wed., December 8th. I waited on Colonel Bladen; and then on the

Bishop, who asked abundance of curious questions, not worth

remembering.

In the evening I obeyed a summons from my Lord Egmont, and gave

him, as I did all I came to the speech of, a true account of the case

between Georgia and Carolina.

Thur., December 9th. I called on Mr. Towers, who desired me by all means to go home, and keep there, whoever sent for me; promising, if

he had any business, he would come to me. I took his advice, and kept

my chamber some days, which, with Dr. Cockburn's electuary, almost

perfectly recovered me.

Sat., December 11th. Mr. Brig and Cutler called, and informed me

Captain Corney was heartily frightened by hearing on all sides Appee's

real character; that he gave over for lost the money he had lent him, as

well as that for passage and provisions.

Contrary to my Doctor's advice, I ventured out, Sunday, December

12th, to the sacrament in Duke-street. Mrs. Rhodes challenged me

after the service with, "I am glad to see you. I hope you go back again

to Georgia."

In the evening a multitude came, and went; most to inquire of their

friends or relations in Georgia. I sent them away advocates for the

colony.

Wed., December 15th. About noon I waited upon the Trustees, at the

office. It put me past all patience to hear they were reading Mr.

Ingham's and my brother's Journals. I was called in, and delivered my

letters for the Trustees. Lord Carpenter, being in the chair, desired me

to speak that all the gentlemen might hear me. Mr. Towers interposed,

and told them I was so weakened by my illness, that I could not speak

aloud; and desired me to deliver my papers one by one, to be read by

Mr. Vire1st At dinner they fell into discourse about the Missioners,

whom as yet they mightily commend, and wish for more of them; as

that their Journals might be forthwith printed, that the world might

receive the benefit of their labours.

Thur., December 16th. I was extremely sick in the night, and by

morning my flux returned.

Sat., December 18th. I began my twenty-seventh year in a murmuring,

discontented spirit; reading over and over the third of Job.

Tues., December 21st. I dined at my uncle's, who bestowed abundance

of wit on my brother, and his apostolical project. He told me, the

French, if they had any remarkably dull fellow among them, sent him

to convert the Indians. I checked his eloquence by those lines of my brother: -

"To distant realms the' Apostle need not roam,

Darkness, alas! and Heathens are at home."

He made no reply; and I heard no more of my brother's apostleship.

Wed., December 22nd. I received a letter from Mr. Whitefield, offering

himself to go to Georgia.

Thur., December 23rd. I had a long conference with Lord Fitzwalter

concerning Georgia. In the afternoon my old Captain's owners came to

desire me to testify the treatment I had received, for which reason I

would not proceed [to England] with Indivine. This I promised with

Zouberbuhler, if there should be occasion.

Sun., December 26th. I called upon my Doctor, and was well chid for so

doing. He told me that if I had not had a constitution of iron, I could

not have held out so long; that he could do nothing for me, unless I

would keep my chamber; through want of which I had undone all he

had been doing, and had all to begin anew.

Wed., December 29th. I called on Zouberbuhler, who gave me the poor

Purlsburgers' case to read; an eternal monument of Carolina's

infamous breach of faith. Soon after Mr. Lynn, his landlord, came in,

and entertained us with some of Mr. Appee's adventures; who, when

he came from Surinam, where he had gained away a plantation his

father gave him, was reduced to the last extremity, and taken in, naked

and starving, by one Mr. Legg, who was quickly forced to turn him out

again, for offering violence to a lady in her family. Cedite Germani

latrones, cedite Galli.

He has not studied Gil Bias for nothing (his inseparable companion

throughout our voyage). As to his boasts, a specimen Mr. Lynn helped

me to, may serve for all. "I wish that dear man, Mr. Oglethorpe, would

return. I am impatient to see him: but he is even with me. How would

he throw open his arms to embrace me! We were always like two

brothers. He could never be without me.

We were constant bedfellows. Many an expedition have we made

together; though, in faith, I had work enough of it as his Secretary.

What belonged to one, belonged to the other. He took a fancy to a gold

watch of mine. I gave it him that instant. It cost me indeed twenty

guineas; but that is a trifle between friends."

Thur., December 30th. I waited upon the Bishop of London for some

papers I had left with him, concerning the state of the colony. Some

effect they seemed to have had; for he appeared less reserved than I

have ever seen him. I took the opportunity to recommend Mr.

Chicheley for orders; and he said, "He should give in his name to the

Society, in the list of Missionaries."

January 3 - April 30, 1737

Mon., January 3rd, 1737. In the evening Mr. Zouberbuhler brought

Captain Corney to see me; from whom I received the following

narration:- "I was walking with an officer last night, when, in the

Strand, I met Mr. Appee; the gentleman I had been two days in quest

of. I let him pass, to try if he would take any notice of me; but finding

he would not, I called after him. He turned, ran to me, and embraced

me with,-

"APPEE. - 'Dear Captain Corney, I am overjoyed to see you. It is my

great misfortune that I could not do it sooner; but I have been so

extremely ill, and have such a multitude of business upon my hands,

and of such consequence, as made it impossible.'

"CAPTAIN.-'I did hope indeed to have seen you in these three weeks.'

"A. - 'But, dear Sir, you cannot conceive the load I have had upon me!

What endless business of this Georgia! and all at this end of the town.'

"C. - 'Well, since I have had the good fortune to meet you at last, we

must take a glass of wine together.'

"A. - 'That would be to me the greatest pleasure in life; but I am going

home in all haste to dress, being forced abroad by business of the last

importance.'

"C. - 'Nay, but you shall bestow one half-hour upon me and my friend,

since we have had the happiness of meeting you.'" With much ado he

got him into the next tavern, and after some indifferent questions

mentioned his promise to freight the ship, "which is now clear," said he, "and ready for the Georgia passengers."

"A. - 'That is the very thing I wanted to talk with you about. I look for Mr. Oglethorpe every hour; and as soon as ever he arrives, the

business shall be done. You may depend upon it; for I can do anything

with him.'

"C. - 'Sir, I am infinitely obliged to you; but in the mean while I must

pay off my men, and re-fit my ship, which you know has suffered much

in the passage. This will stand me in a good deal of money; and

therefore I should be glad to settle that small account betwixt us.'

"A. - 'It was the very thing I was just going to mention, - though it

grieves me too, - surely I am the most unfortunate man breathing!

Such disappointments and losses on all hands since my arrival! -my

father's failing! my mother's death! my dear friend Mr. Oglethorpe's

delay! -that really I am afraid it will be some days before I pay you.'"

The Captain tried some time if he could not recover his money; but

finding nothing was to be got by fair means, at last told the officer, that

was the man; and bade him do his duty. Appee started up and cried, "I

hope, Captain, you are not in earnest! He is not really an officer!"

"Hands spake for Casca;" and the catchpole told him he was his

prisoner; offering to read him his writ. Appee declined it, telling him

he understood those things; and immediately fell to his entreaties;

told the Captain what an esteem he had for him; how he had

everywhere extolled his honour, his good nature, and generosity;

conjured him by their past friendship to release him directly,"

otherwise" says he, "Mr. Wesley will hear of it, and bring his action for his money, which, with your debt, is all I owe in the world."

The Captain replied, he had no intention to hurt him, but only to get

his own money; (a mere trifle for Mr. Oglethorpe's Secretary to pay!)

or, to be sure, his father would lay it down for him, the moment he

heard of his confinement.

"A. - 'I assure you, Captain, if one shilling would set me free, I have not a relation in the world that would advance it for me.'

"C. - 'Why, then, I find you have behaved yourself as scurvily toward

them as you have toward me. In the ship you was an agent, a secretary,

a statesman; but on shore I perceive you are a bite, and a scoundrel;

and as such I will use you.'

"A. - 'For God's sake, dear Captain, have pity upon me. I will give you all I have; five pounds in money, my clothes, watch, buckles, sword, snuff-box, and hat.

"C. - 'Sir, I scorn to take a gentleman's clothes; for such you passed

upon me: and had you sent me a single line, with, Here are three or

four guineas for you, Corney and I will pay the rest when I am able, I

would never have given you or myself any farther trouble about it. But your design, from the beginning, was to cheat me; and I shall therefore

make an example of you. In Boston, when I would have had you lay in

less wine, you told me, What signified forty pounds New-England

money. Truly not much to you, who intended me to pay it. But how

could you be so base, when I had laid in your provisions, and lent you

money, to rob me of the three pounds for the letters?' His answer to

the last indictment was plainly,

"A. - 'Necessity has no law.'

"C. - 'None but an experienced rogue could have made such an answer.

You thought me a soft, silly fellow, and was therefore resolved to skin

me: but now you shall answer for all.'

"A. - 'Have patience with me till Mr. Oglethorpe comes; you shall then

have your freight of passengers, and money both. You may be sure of

it; for I can have of him what money I please.'

"C. - 'I do not believe a word of it. Did Mr. Oglethorpe see you in a gaol, he would leave you there to condign punishment.'

"A. - 'O, how can you think so, when I have so often told you how

intimate we are, and on what important affairs he sent me to England?

It is not my liberty I value; for that he will restore me to, the moment

he hears of my confinement; but I fear I shall lose his good opinion.'

"C. - 'I do not believe you ever had it; or that he sent you hither for any other reason, but to get rid of a vagrant, that would else corrupt his

colony. If you can pay me my money, do; or I must leave you to justice.'

A. - 'Take my clothes in part of payment. I will give you my note for the

remainder of the debt'

"C. - 'Would you give me your note for the whole twenty-two pounds, I

would sell it the first man that would give me sixpence for it.'"

The Captain continuing inexorable, Appee cried like a child: upon

which he asked him how he could behave so abjectly, who had scorned

on board to own himself in any danger, (as soon as it was past,) "when

I myself," said he, "had little hopes of our escaping"

"A. - 'O, Sir, imprisonment, or death itself, is nothing to me; but the loss of so dear a friend as Mr. Oglethorpe this is what sits so heavy at my

heart. But I hope you will not be so cruel as to rob me of him.'

"C. - 'I shall be so just to myself, and the world, as to expose a common cheat, who lives upon the public, and lays all honest men, that do not

know him, under contribution.'"

Saturday following the Captain was prevailed upon by a friend of

Appee, (now in Newgate,) to go hear if he had anything farther to

propose. He began very oratorically; could not blame the Captain for

what he had done, but forgave him from his heart, and had still the

utmost esteem and affection for him: always said, "Captain Corney

was a good-natured man, and a gentleman;" was sure, therefore, he

would not ruin a poor young fellow, who was rising in the world, and

on the very point of making his fortune. He then began casting up the

worth of his snuff-box, &c. His sword he valued at seven pounds, his

bureau at four.

"C. - 'That bureau, Mr. Wesley told me, was a lady's in London.'

"A. - 'Why, that is very true. I had really forgot it. However, a guinea I may ask her for the freight.'

"C. - 'Sir, you talk like what you are. I expected when you sent for me,

your father had supplied you with money to pay me.'

"A. - 'I assure you, once more, was I now going to be hanged, my father

would not give a single shilling to save me from the gallows.'

"C. - 'You give a fine account of yourself, and perfectly consistent with that you gave at Boston. Is it fit that such an one as you should be

suffered any longer to impose upon honest people. It is well you are at

the end of your rogueries.'

"A. - 'I had a suspicion that you had laid a trap for me at

Zouberbuhler's; but I was too wise to be caught there.'

"C. - 'It is full as well that I have caught you here. You have been so

ungrateful a scoundrel to me, that I was resolved to spend a little more

money upon you.'

"A. - 'I deserve it for a blockhead as I am, for not putting myself, as I intended, under the court of the green cloth.'

"C. - 'Why, what a precious rogue you describe yourself! Can you, after

this, expect any favour from me. '

"A. - 'I hope you will not take it ill, if I take the benefit of the Act, through which I can come out next term.'

"C. - 'O, not at all, Sir. Take the benefit of the Act, by all means. I would do so myself, was I in your place. But when you are ready to come out,

I will give you your keeping there for one half-year longer.'"

Here Appee's friend, Mr. Joy, told him," You have used the Captain so

villanously, that I am ashamed to have had any dealings with you. I

cannot say one word against his resolution; and desire you would

never send or write to me again, or to any of your friends; for we wash

our hands of you, and from this hour shall think of you no more."

With this speech he left him, and, walking with the Captain, observed,

what a poor unhappy young fellow he was. "That shipwreck of his, in

particular, was as unfortunate an accident as one shall hear of." "What shipwreck" says the Captain. "Why, in his passage from Carolina. Have not you heard of it" "No," replied he, "nor anybody else." "He told me,"

says Joy, "that the ship ran upon the rocks, and all the men were lost,

but the Boatswain, a boy, and himself; that as he clung upon the rock, a

sea came, and washed him off, dashing him upon another rook, with

such violence, that it broke his skull, a tooth, and three of his ribs; so

that it cost him no less than ten guineas to the surgeon."

This account I made the Captain repeat two or three times, and took it

down from him in shorthand. I asked what gave him the first

suspicion of Appee's knavery. He answered, that when the searchers

had opened his bureau, he saw several letters Appee had broke open,

and a memorandum of nine hundred pounds currency he had taken

up at Charlestown, upon (as he suspected) a forged bill of exchange.

Fri., January 7th. The news was brought of Mr. Oglethorpe's arrival.

The next day I waited on him, and received a relation of his wonderful

deliverance in the Bristol Channel. The people of Carolina, he told me,

were quite mad, had hired men to murder the Indians, - the Spaniards,

- had burned Augusta, &o. He then inquired about Appee. I gave him some little account of his misbehaviour, together with an extract of my

Journal. He seemed sorry he had ever employed him; talked admirably

of resignation; and the impossibility of dying when it is not best.

Sun., January 9th. I saw him again with Mr. Towers. He told me he had

read my Journal, which was writ with a great deal of spirit. I replied,

all I could answer for was, that it was writ with a great deal of truth.

Thur., January 13th. I met Mr. Getshorn at Mr. Oglethorpe's. He told me

of Appee's cheating D______, a poor drunken P______, of his gold watch.

Mr. Oglethorpe acquainted me, that he had been sent to again by

Appee, in Newgate. Upon my expressing pity for him, he added, "I can

do nothing. He has tied my hands. If I released him, it would confirm

all his lies. We are such dear friends, that I must even leave him where

he is."

Wed., January 19th. Count Zinzendorf, just arrived from Germany, sent

for me. When I came, he saluted me with all possible affection, and

made me promise to call every day. From him I went to the Bishop of

Oxford, where I met with an equally kind reception. He desired me to

come as often as I could, without farther ceremony or invitation.

We had much talk of the state of religion, and of Count Zinzendorf's

intended visit. Their Bishops he acknowledged to have the true

succession.

Thur., January 20th. I wrote and delivered my own state in a letter to

the Count. He sent me to Mr. Oglethorpe, who talked much of the

mischief of private journals, all which ought to be published, or never

sent. A letter from my brother he read; and argued, I could not but

think the writer much too free, too bold, too credulous.

Sat., January 22nd. I called upon Mrs. Pendarvis, while she was

reading a letter of my being dead. Happy for me, had the news been

true! What a world of misery would it save me! In the afternoon I was

overjoyed to meet at M. Essen's my old friend M.G..

Sun., January 23rd. I met Bishop Nitschman at the Count's, and was

introduced to the Countess: a woman of great seriousness and

sweetness. I was present at their public service, and thought myself in

a quire of angels.

Tues., January 25th. I paid a visit to Dr. Hales, in the country.

Wed., January 26th. We took a walk to see Mr. Pope's house and

gardens; justly called a burlesque upon human greatness. I was

sensibly affected with the plain Latin sentence upon the obelisk, in

memory of his mother: Ah, Editha! matrum optima, mulierum

amantissima, vale! How far superior to the most laboured elegy that

he, or Prior himself, could have composed!

Sun., January 30th. At St. Martin's I heard an excellent sermon by Dr.

Trapp, on, "In your patience possess ye (or be ye master of ) your

souls;" proving the miserable slavery of the passions.

Tues., February 1st. I was again with the Bishop of Oxford, and told

him the Bishop of London had declined having anything to do with

Georgia; and said it belonged to the Archbishop only to unite the

Moravians with us. He replied, it was the Bishop of London's proper

office; but bade me assure the Count, we should acknowledge the

Moravians as our brethren, and one Church with our own.

Wed., February 2nd. Mr. Oglethorpe told me, Appee, released from

prison, desired to meet me at his house. The next morning I waited

there some hours, to confront him; but no Appee appeared.

At nine I was with the Count, who seemed resolved to carry his people

from Georgia, if they might not be permitted to preach to the Indians.

He much pressed me to go with him to Germany; which I am very

willing to do, if I can get clear of the Trustees.

Sun., February 6th. I had much conversation with the Count. Some of

his words were, "The Christian cannot yield to sin; cannot long fight

against it; but must conquer it, if he will." Speaking of his own case, he said, he and a lady were in love with each other; till, finding something

of nature, he resolved to renounce her; which he did, and persuaded

her to accept of his friend. "From that moment," said he, "I was freed from all self-seeking, so that for ten years past I have not done my own

will in anything, great or small. My own will is hell to me. I can just

now renounce my dearest friend, without the least reluctance, if God

require it." He kissed and blessed me at parting.

Mon., February 7th. Before I set out for Oxford I called upon the Count, and desired his prayers. He commended himself to our friends there;

and promised, if any of them would write to him, or the Brethren, they

would answer them.

Tues., February 8th. I came to Oxford, and took up my lodgings with

Mr. Sarney. In the evening I met and encouraged our friends by the

Count's and the Moravians' example. Mr. Kinchin I found changed into

a courageous soldier of Christ. I read them my brother's Journal.

Wed., February 9th. I met and accompanied my friend Horne to the

Convocation, where we carried the election (I came down about) for

Mr. Bromley, our old member, three hundred and thirty-nine, against

one hundred and twenty-six.

I visited my old friends at the castle, and found honest Thomas Waite

still a prisoner there. Mrs. Topping was gone where the prisoners rest

together, and hear not the voice of the oppressor. Returning, I called at

the Blue Posts, and found my old pupil, Robert Kirkham. We spent the

evening, as before, in mutual exhortation.

Thur., February 10th. I talked with some of my old proselytes in

College: paid my respects to the Dean, and met with a sharp

expostulation for voting against him (as he called it). In an hour we

came to a right understanding, and parted friends.

I dined with Mr. Woods, of Abingdon: the same kind friendly man he

was. In the evening I saw Mr. Carter and Banny Kirkham, and laboured

to awaken one, and confirm the other. At Mr. Sarney's I found good Mr.

Gainbold, and Kinchin.

Fri., February 11th. I exhorted poor languid Smith, and then Carter, to

resume all their rules of holy living. In the afternoon I was with the

Rector of Lincoln, who received me very affectionately.

Sat., February 12th. By nine at night I got back to the Count in London;

and consulted him about my journey to Germany.

Tues., February 16th. I told Mr. Oglethorpe of my desire of returning

with him to Georgia, if I could be of any use there as a Clergyman; but

as to my Secretary's place, I begged him to tell me where, when, and

how, I should resign it. He bade me think what I did; and when I had well considered the matter, he would talk with me farther.

Fri., February 18th. In walking to St. Martin's, I met my dearest friend

Appee, who accosted me with inimitable assurance, and asked where

he might meet me. I appointed Mr. Oglethorpe's, the next morning.

Sat., February 19th. I waited on Mr. Oglethorpe, with no great

expectation of Appee. He was too wary to keep his appointment.

Sun., February 20th. Being to set out the next day for Tiverton, I went

to take my leave of the Count, who invited me again to Germany, bade

me not despair, and dismissed me with his blessing. My last words

were, Peace be with you: to which he replied, And with your spirit.

Mon., February 21st. I came in the coach to Reading; and the next

evening to Marlborough, where I found horses my brother Hall had

sent to bring me to Wootton. With him and my sisters, Patt and Kez, I

stayed till

Mon., February 28th; and then took horse for Bath; the next day I got

to Wellington; and,

Wed., March 2nd, in the morning reached Tiverton. I ran up stairs to

my sister, who received me with tears of joy. I saw Phill next, and last

my brother, who seemed at least as well as when he left me at London,

three years before. I went to comfort my mother, indisposed in her

chamber.

Tues., March 8th. I took horse, and on Thursday afternoon got back

again to Wootton.

Tues., March 1st. I set out for London, in the Marlborough coach,

which had been robbed morning and evening, for four days before.

This fifth morning we passed unmolested. Scarce was I got to town,

when they fell to robbing again.

Thur., March 17th. At Mrs. Pendarvis's I found M.G., and her brother,

who pressed me to bear him company to Mickleton.

Tues., March 22nd. I set out at three in the Oxford coach with Mr. Gr.,

and his sister, and Mr. Dews.

Wed., March 23rd. I was much moved at hearing Mr. Gambold's history of my brother.

Thur., March 24th. Our company set out again for Mickleton; which we

reached by night. We passed the time agreeably enough in walking,

conversing, and reading.

Wed., March 30th. I rode over to Stanton, where they were all

overjoyed to see me; especially my first of friends, Varanes.

Wed., April 6th. I had some conversation with M.G. about the fewness

of those that are saved. How little is she advanced in the school of

Christ, who is not convinced of this truth!

Sat., April 9th. In the evening I had the satisfaction of seeing Mr. Gr.

much affected with a chapter he had been reading of Mr. Law. He

desired his sister might hear it. I read it a second time, and took that

opportunity of pressing upon him a daily retirement.

Thur., April 28th. I took horse with Mr. Gr. and Dews. The former left

us at Compton, and we rode on towards Spilsbury.

Sat., April 30th. I got back to Mr. Sarney's, weary and faint, and in a

fever, through want of sleep.

May 2 - August 31, 1737

Mon., May 2nd. Between one and two in the morning, I betook myself

to my usual bed, the floor. Charles Gr. breakfasted with me, and owned

with tears, he had never felt any true joy but in religion. I earnestly

recommended Law to him.

At noon I visited Mr. Gainbold, right glad to see me. I found him much

cheerfuller than usual: his sister just the same. In the afternoon I

talked with the prisoners; very attentive: with the Dean; very kind and

friendly.

Tues., May 3rd. At two Mr. Sarney rose to pray for me. I rose too, and

set out for London, which I reached in a few hours.

Thur., May 5th. I met Virelst and Counsel at Mr. Oglethorpe's, about the

hearing they are shortly to have before the Board of Trade. When they

were gone, Mr. Oglethorpe said, if the Government had dropped

Georgia, he would not let the poor people perish, but sell his estate,

which he could do for 45,000, and support them upon the interest.

Fri., May 20th. At her desire, I waited upon Lady Betty Hastings. Her

inquiries about Georgia were interrupted by the Bishop of

Gloucester's coming.

Sat., May 21st. I rode out of town to meet my brother and sister from

Tiverton, and attended them to Mr. Powel's.

Mon., May 30th. I carried my brother to the good Archbishop, who

received us very kindly.

Wed., June 1st. I accepted an invitation from Mrs. Benson, and rode

down to Cheshunt Nunnery. Miss Kitty and Mrs. Johnson were there

before me. I was much delighted both with the place and company.

After dinner I missed my letter-book, and rode back to town, seeking

it in vain. By seven next morning I was at the Nunnery again; and

returned to London in the afternoon.

Fri., June 3rd. Between six and seven this evening I took horse for

Cheshunt, eighteen miles from London; got there by nine; and the next

morning rode eighteen miles farther, to Hatfield, to see my sister

Nancy. In the afternoon I returned to the Nunnery.

Trinity Sunday, June 5th. We all went in an hired coach to Warmley;

where I preached "Few saved;" and was pleased to see the family stay the unexpected sacrament. In the evening I rode back to town.

Mon., June 6th. At ten we were again before the Board of Trade. Till

twelve Carolina side was heard. Then our Counsel (confused enough)

was heard for Georgia.

Wed., June 8th. I made affidavit in Chancery-Lane, as to what I knew

relating to Georgia. At one I called upon my uncle, and found him

exceeding ill.

Thur., June 9th. At the Board, part of our Charter and Acts were read,

&c. I declared upon oath, that all the traders licensed were supposed

to be within Georgia. After my affidavit was read, Murray made our

defence; but so little to Mr. Oglethorpe's satisfaction, that he started up, and ran out. I dined with my brother at Lord Oxford's. Lady

Oxford, Lord Duplin, and the famed Lady Mary, were of the company.

Sat., June 11th. I found my uncle dying. He pressed my hand, showed

much natural affection, and bade me give his love to his sister. I spent

the evening at Cheshunt, in reading Mr. Law to the family,-my usual

employment there.

Sunday evening. I heard that my uncle died, a little after I left him.

Mon., June 13th. I waited on my brother and sister a little way on their

road to Tiverton. On Wednesday I breakfasted at the Nunnery. On

Thursday night I attended my uncle to his grave.

Fri., June 17th. I heard the last of my friend Appee's adventures here,

from one Mr. Laba, a cutler; from whom he had just stole a watch, and

run away with it to Paris.

Sat., June 18th. I was before the Board of Trade for the last time, to

hear Carolina's reply to Georgia. I spent the rest of the month between

Cheshunt and Hatfield.

Sat., July 2nd. I was at the Nunnery; and the next day preached at

Hatfield. I slept at Cheshunt.

Mon., July 4th. In the evening I set out for Oxford. I came thither the

next day, where James Hutton had got before me. In the evening young

Gr. came to me at Sathey's, in an excellent temper. I encouraged him to

go on in the narrow way; and strongly recommended stated hours of

retirement.

Thur., July 7th. I pressed the same upon poor Smith, in our walk to Mr.

Gainbold's, where 1 found my sister Kezzy. I got back to dinner with

Lady Cox and her sisters. In the evening Gr. told me, that on this day he

first felt the beginnings of the change; and was convinced of the reality

of what he only believed before upon my brother's and my testimony.

He appeared full of joy and love.

Sat., July 9th. I set out with James, for Wootton. Quite spent, I laid me

down, and slept for a quarter of an hour upon the ground. By two we

reached Marlborough, and by four, Wootton. My mother was lately come thither from Tiverton.

Mon., July 11th. Meeting Ch. at Bath, we could get no farther. He

carried us to see the quarries; where I narrowly missed being dashed

to pieces. On Wednesday, July 13th, we came safe to Tiverton.

Sat, July 23rd, and Sun., 24th, at Wootton. Days never to be forgot!

Mon., July 25th. I heard at Oxford that Charles Graves had been carried

away by his friends, as stark mad.

Thur., July 28th. I spied Robinson and Bateley in the long-walk, and

crossed over to speak with them. They fell upon me unawares,

desiring me to take some of the Cowley saints to Georgia; charged the

Methodists with intrusion, schism, and bringing neglect upon the

ministry. We differed absolutely. I left them with, "Remember, you will

be of my mind when you come to die."

Fri., July 29th. We set out for London, with Mr. Morgan and Mr.

Kinchin; and on

Sat., July 30th, finished our travels at College-street, where I had the

satisfaction of finding my old hearty friend, Benjamin Ingham.

Mon., August 1st. I read Mr. Oglethorpe my brother's letter to the

Trustees, charging Horton with raising a scandalous report about me.

He would not advise one way or the other: which I interpreted as a

dissuasive, and therefore took no farther notice of the matter.

Wed., August 17th. After spending some time at Hatfield, I set out with

my brother Lambert, for London. At Epping he went back, full of good

resolutions.

Thur., August 18th. Hearing that Mrs. Delamotte was now in town, I

went to see her. We fell into discourse upon resignation; and she

seemed resolved to acquiesce in the will of God, detaining her Isaac

from her.

Sun., August 21st. I took horse again for Hatfield; read prayers, and

preached at Wormley; called on Dr. Nichols, and rode on. My brother I

left on the 24th, in excellent temper. I called and dined at Dr. Newton's.

Thur., August 25th. After giving the sacrament to a sick woman, I breakfasted with Mr. Chadwick. We had some close talk about the new

birth, with which he was greatly moved. I took the opportunity of

recommending regular retirement, and religious acquaintance. I

preached at Ludgate, dined with M. Musgrave, and called in the

afternoon at Mrs. Delamotte's. The Cambridge youth was there; but

we had no very useful conversation.

Fri., August 26th. I waited upon His Majesty at Hampton Court, with

the Oxford Address, by the advice of Mr. Potter. The Archbishop told

me he was glad to see me there. We kissed their Majesties' hands, and

were invited to dinner. I left that, and the company, and hasted back to

town. The next day we waited upon His Royal Highness, and dined all

together at St. James's.

Wed., August 31st. I talked at large upon my state with Mr. Law, at

Putney. The sum of his advice was, "Renounce yourself; and be not

impatient."

September 9 - December 31, 1737

Fri., September 9th. I consulted Mr. Law a second time, and asked him

several questions: "With what comment shall I read the Scriptures?"

"None." "What do you think of one who dies unrenewed, while

endeavouring after it?" "It concerns neither you to ask, nor me to

answer." "Shall I write once more to such a person?" "No." "But I am persuaded it will do him good." "Sir, I have told you my opinion." "Shall I write to you?" "Nothing I can either speak or write, will do you any good."

Sat., September 10th. Calling at Mr. Delamotte's, I found Miss Hetty

there, and gave her her brother's letter. We soon fell into talk about

the new birth. She lamented her not being acquainted with me

sooner; and that she could not be in the country now I was going

thither. I walked back to Charles Rivington's, and fetched her Mr. Law;

and then took coach for Eltham and Blendon. My friend Benjamin had

been there before me, and met with such a reception as encouraged

me to follow. He had preached to them with power; and still more

powerfully by his life and conversation. The eldest sister, and

Cambridge scholar, were struck to the heart. The first evening passed in discourse of my namesake in America.

Sun., September 11th. I preached the one thing needful: had some

serious talk with Miss Betsy, and read to Mrs. Delamotte part of my

Journal, relating to their intended visitant, Appee.

Mon., September 12th. I returned to town, and spent an hour with

Hetty, in discoursing on the inward change, and reading Law. She

received all his sayings with the utmost readiness.

Tues., September 13th. I went again to my simple Hetty, to learn some

of her humility. Her convictions were much deepened by my reading

the Life of God in the Soul of Man. I took my leave, and set out for

Oxford, by way of Windsor, and Mr. Thorold's.

Thur., September l5th. I rose (at Sarney's) with earnest desires of

resigning myself up entirely to God. I had the satisfaction of seeing an

excellent letter from young Gr. in the country.

Fri., September 16th. I walked over with Mr. Gainbold to

Stantonarcourt. After much talk of their states, we agreed, that I

should not speak at all to my sister on religion, but fully to his.

Calling accidentally in the evening at my sister Kezia's room, she fell

upon my neck, and in a flood of tears begged me to pray for her. Seeing

her so softened, I did not know but this might be her time, and sat

down. She anticipated me, by saying she had felt here what she never

felt before, and believed now there was such a thing as the new

creature. She was full of earnest wishes for divine love; owned there

was a depth in religion she had never fathomed; that she was not, but

longed to be, converted; would give up all to obtain the love of God '.

renewed her request with great vehemence that I would pray for her;

often repeating, "I am weak, I am exceeding weak." I prayed over her, and blessed God from my heart; then used Pascal's prayer for

conversion, with which she was much affected, and begged me to

write it out for her. After supper, (at which I could not eat for joy,) I

read Mr. Law's account of Redemption. She was greatly moved, full of

tears and sighs, and eagerness for more. Poor Mrs. Gainbold was quite

unaffected: her time being not yet come.

Sat., September 17th. I prayed with Kez., still in the same temper; convinced all her misery had proceeded from her not loving God.

This morning Mr. Wells, of Jesus College, came in. I took occasion to

mention Mr. Law on the Redemption; read part of it, and rejoiced in

his so cordially joining us.

Sun., September 18th. I preached at the Castle, and gave the sacrament

to threescore communicants. In the afternoon at Stantonarcourt. I was

continually called upon by Kez., to pray with her. We supped at Mr.

Bonnel's.

Wed., September 21st. I rejoiced to hear at Oxford, that Graves was

returned from his friends unshaken. At night he came in, (to Sarney's,)

fell upon my neck, and burst into tears. It is hard to say, whether his

friends' hatred, or his love, of me exceeds.

Thur., September 22nd. I breakfasted with Mr. Rock at Nuneham; and

dined at Maple-Durham with Mr. Burton. Next morning I got to Mr.

Thorold's, at Windsor; and in two hours to London. But my hard

riding had nearly occasioned my being apprehended for an

highwayman.

Sat., September 24th. At twelve I set out for Blendon. Passing Mr.

Delamotte's, I was minded to call, though they were all out of town

Contrary to my expectation, I found Hetty left behind. We passed two

hours in conference and prayer. Two hours afterwards I was with her

again, and read Scougal on "Few saved." She was quite melted down,

and, after a prayer for love, said, "God knows my heart: I do desire

nothing but Him."

Sun., September 25th. I met her at the sacrament in Crooked-Lane;

and endeavoured to prepare her for persecution, which all must suffer

who will live godly in Christ Jesus.

Tues., September 27th. I rode to Windsor; and next day to

Mapleurham by noon. An hour after I took horse, and quickly lost

myself in a wood: but by breaking fences, and leaping ditches, got at

last to Dorchester. I lost myself again between that and Nunchain; but

soon recovered it, and by night came to honest Mr. Sarney's.

Thur., September 29th. I found Graves and Kezzy still pressing forward. In the afternoon I met Mr. Wells alone, and had some close

talk with him upon the new birth, self-renunciation, &c. He confessed

reputation was his idol; rejected his own righteousness: convinced,

but fearful: longing to break loose. I went with him to the chapel; and

afterwards resumed the subject. He seemed on the brink of the new

birth.

Sat., October lat. I prayed by Mr. Carter, who lay a-dying: and by Mrs.

Sarney, in the same condition.

Sun., October 2nd. I carried Graves to Stanton-Harcourt, where I gave

the sacrament, and then preached at Southleigh. In the evening we

returned to Oxford.

Mon., October 3rd. At six I took horse for Barkswell. A little on this

side Banbury my horse threw me, with great violence, over his head,

and tumbled after, but not upon me. I rose first, unhurt, except that I

sprained my leg. With much wandering through excessive bad roads,

by night I got to Mr. Boys's, quite exhausted.

Tues., October 4th. I waked much refreshed. The family showed me all

possible civility, especially dear Susan, for whose sake I had come.

Wed., October 5th. We parted as friends should part. I returned, before

night, to Oxford.

Fri., October 7th. I received a letter from James Hutton, summoning

me on board in fourteen days.

Sat., October 8th. I endeavoured to fix Kinchin, Sarney, Washington,

and Hutchins, in meeting as my brother, &c., used formerly. I rode to

Spilsbury, to see my old friend Horn, and returned by night to read

Nicodemus at Queen's.

Sun., October 9th. I gave the sacrament and preached at Southleigh. In

the evening at dear Charles's; still growing in humility and love.

Mon., October 10th. Being determined not to leave England till I had

come to a full explanation with Dicky Graves, this morning I went to

his rooms; talked the whole matter over, and were both entirely

satisfied. Then I spoke of my making his brother Charles mad; hoped he himself would be one of those whose life fools count madness;

explained the nature of true religion; "no other than what you once

laboured after, till the gentleman swallowed up the Christian." He was

greatly moved; complained he could not pray. I appealed to him,

whether he had not formerly felt more solid pleasure in religion, than

in all the caresses of the world. He confessed it, and resolved to return.

I earnestly recommended Law, and daily retirement, as my last legacy.

"My heart's desire to God for you is, that you may be saved. In a little

time, all I can do will be to pray for you: and I hope you will now pray

for me, as for a friend, not an enemy." He answered, "That I shall do heartily. I am satisfied you are my sincere friend." We then kissed, and

parted - till that day.

Tues., October 11th. I set out for London. In a mile's riding my horse

fell lame. I sung the 91st Psalm, and put myself under the divine

protection. I had scarce ended, and turned the hut, on Shotover-Hill,

when a man came up to me, and demanded my money, showing, but

not presenting, a pistol. I gave him my purse. He asked how much

there was. "About thirty shillings." "Have you no more?" "I will see;"

put my hand in my pocket, and gave him some halfpence. He repeated

the question," Have you no more?" I had thirty pounds in a private

pocket; bade him search himself; which he did not choose. He ordered

me to dismount, which I did; but begged hard for my horse again,

promising not to pursue him. He took my word, and restored him. I

rode gently on, praising God. My bags, and watch, and gold, the robber

was forced to leave me. By the evening I reached Westminster.

Fri., October 14th. I was informed at the office, that I was to go in three

weeks with the Lieutenant-Colonel by way of Gibraltar.

Sun., October 16th. I rode to Blendon, and read S.S. to the two sisters,

and prayed with them for conversion. I was employed again in like

manner, after the opposers were gone to bed.

Tues., October 18th. Jacky Delamotte and I took horse. Mine fell into a

hole; but I kept my seat. His followed, and flung him over his head.

Neither was hurt.

Fri., October 28th. I found Miss Betty at Fresh Wharf, and spent an

hour or two with her and Jacky. Next morning I was with her alone, and spoke largely of the danger of lukewarmness, and resting in

negative goodness. I never saw her so moved before.

Sun., October 30th. I waked them at five, and attended them to

Forster-Lane, where we heard Mr. Whitefield, and communicated

together. I preached at St. Helen's "the one thing needful." In the

afternoon I carried her and her brother to Mr. Chadwick's, (my usual

lodgings,) and thence to Ironmonger's-Lane. After preaching the same

sermon here, we drank tea at Mr. Chadwick's, and then took coach for

College-Street. They were much delighted with the singing there, and

edified, I hope, by George Whitefield's example. It was near eleven

before I left them at their own house.

Wed., November 2nd. I was at the office, and returned the Trustees

thanks for the 50 they had lately ordered me, as a Missionary. I dined

with them; and they desired me to draw up a scheme for an Orphan-

house. The evening I passed at Fresh Wharf: good old Mr. Delamotte

was there, and pleased me much by his seeming so heartily to relish

our reading Bishop Hall.

Fri., November 4th. I heard an excellent sermon at St. Antholine's, on

holiness, or likeness to God; and passed the evening with B. D.; who

then told me the reason why I was not sent for to Blendon, was, Mrs.

Delamotte's fear of my making Hetty run mad: and when I gave them

notice of my coming, she sent her up to town, that I might not see her;

which Providence made the means of my having so many hours with

her alone.

Sat., November 5th. I met and turned back with Betty, to hear Mr.

Whitefield preach, not with the persuasive words of man's wisdom,

but with the demonstration of the Spirit and with power. The

churches will not contain the multitudes that throng to hear him.

Mon., November 7th. I read over Pietas Hallensis; and desired our

Orphan-house might be begun in the power of faith.

Thur., November 10th. In obedience to a summons from Miss Betsy

this morning, I took coach for Greenwich, and walked the rest of the

way to Blendon. We had some animating discourse before Mrs.

Delamotte came in. Then we fell into talk of the new birth, which she did not at all relish; but continued still cold, averse, and prejudiced

against the truth.

Sun., November 18th. I preached at Bexley, on the love of God. Mrs.

Delamotte thanked me for my sermon with tears; owned she had

loved Charles too well; and was quite altered in her behaviour

towards me. We had farther conversation on the love of God. Mr.

Delamotte confessed there could be no happiness in anything else.

Mon., November 14th. Little Molly burst into tears upon my telling her

God loved her. The whole family now appear not far from the kingdom

of God.

Sun., November 20th. At St. Helen's I preached the circumcision of

heart. The next day my flux returned.

Tues., November 22nd. Mr. Oglethorpe advised me to go to Tiverton. I

went to take my leave of our friends at Blendon. Mrs. Delamotte was

quite open, and not afraid that her son should be called a Methodist.

Fri., November 25th. At M. Hutton's this evening, my brothers Lambert

and Wright visited me. The latter has corrupted the former, after all

the pains I have taken with him, and brought him back to drinking. I

was full, yet could not speak; prayed for meekness, and then set before

him the things he had done, in the devil's name, toward re-converting

a soul to him. He left us abruptly. I encouraged poor J. Lambert to turn

again unto God.

Mon., November 28th. I took coach for Tiverton. The next day I called

on my mother in Salisbury. She vehemently protested against our

returning to Georgia.

Wed., November 30th. I had much serious conversation with a

gentlewoman in the coach, concerning the new birth. I read part of Mr.

Law. She was deeply struck, melted, conquered.

Thur., December 1st. We lodged at Dorchester; when my distemper

fully returned.

Fri., December 2nd. I met horses at Honiton, and by four came to

Tiverton; where I found my brother much better.

Sun., December 4th. I was much melted at the sacrament. In the

evening I reproved my sister (which I am often forced to do) for evil-

speaking.

Thur., December 22nd. Quite wearied out by her incessant slanders,

to-day I had a downright quarrel with her about it. My brother on

these occasions is either silent, or on my side.

Tues., December 27th. I was not sorry to set out for London. I rode as

far as Taunton.

Wed., December 28th. In the coach I employed myself mostly in

reading Cyrus's Travels, and Leslie's Short Method with the Deists.

Thur., December 29th. We narrowly escaped overturning, through the

loss of a wheel. I supped in Salisbury, at my brother Hall's.

Sat., December 31st. I set out at two in the morning, and with the

night came to James Hutton's.

January 5 - April 30, 1738

Thur., January 5th, 1738. I made frequent visits this month to Blendon,

and rejoiced over Mrs. Delamotte, now entirely cordial and friendly.

We were joined by Mr. Piers, the Minister of Bexley, who delighted in

every opportunity of conversing, singing, and praying with us.

Fri., February 3rd. In the afternoon news was brought me at James

Hutton's, that my brother was come from America. I could not believe,

till at night I saw him. He comes, not driven away, but to tell the true

state of the colony; which, according to his account, is truly

deplorable.

Sat., February 4th. I informed Mr. Oglethorpe of his arrival. He was

very inquisitive into the cause of his coming; said he ought not to have

returned without the Trustees' leave. At ten, before the Council, I

heard the fresh pleadings for Carolina.

Mon., February 6th. I waited on the good Archbishop, who received

me with his usual kindness.

Wed., February 8th. I was with the Trustees, who were surprised by

my brother's account of Georgia, the fewness of the people, &c.

Fri., February 10th. We dined at Mr. Vernon's, who accosted me, "Well,

Sir, I hope you intend returning to Georgia." I answered, "That is my desire and design." I heard more of the great discouragements the

poor people labour under.

Sat., February 11th. I heard Clerk plead for Georgia, before the

Council, and Mr. Oglethorpe's speech.

Thur., February 16th. Mr. Oglethorpe told me, "Your brother must have

a care. There is a very strong spirit raising against him. People say he

is come over to do mischief to the colony. He will be called upon for his

reasons, why he left the people." I answered, "Sir, he has been twice before at the Board for that purpose, but was not asked that question,

and therefore had no opportunity to answer it. He will attend them

again on Wednesday morning." I waited on his Lordship of London,

and informed him of my brother's return. He spoke honourably of

him; expressed a great desire to see him; asked many questions about

Georgia, and the Trustees; forgot his usual reserve and dismissed me very kindly.

Fri., February 17th. I came in the Oxford coach to my old lodgings at

Mr. Sarney's.

Sat., February 18th. I rode over to Stanton-Harcourt, to see John

Gainbold and my sister. My brother met us. We prayed and sang

together. In the evening I prayed at Mr. Sarney's, with some scholars,

and a Moravian.

Sun., February 19th. I received the sacrament once more at

Christchurch.

Mon., February 20th. I began teaching Peter Bohler English.

Tues., February 21st. In the afternoon I lay down, half distracted with

the tooth-ache.

Wed., February 22nd. I waked much better. At five I had some close

conversation with Peter Bohler, who pressed upon our scholars the

necessity of combining, and instanced in many awakened, but fallen

asleep again, for want of it. He talked much of the necessity of prayer

and faith.

Fri., February 24th. At six in the evening, an hour after I had taken my

electuary, the tooth-ache returned more violently than ever. I smoked

tobacco; which set me at vomiting, and took away my senses and pain

together. At eleven I waked in extreme pain, which I thought would

quickly separate soul and body. Soon after Peter Bohler came to my

bedside. I asked him to pray for me. He seemed unwilling at first, but,

beginning very faintly, he raised his voice by degrees, and prayed for

my recovery with strange confidence. Then he took me by the hand,

and calmly said, "You will not die now." I thought within myself," I cannot hold out in this pain till morning. If it abates before, I believe I

may recover." He asked me, "Do you hope to be saved?" "Yes." "For what reason do you hope it" "Because I have used my best endeavours

to serve God." He shook his head, and said no more. I thought him very

uncharitable, saying in my heart, "What, are not my endeavours a

sufficient ground of hope? Would he rob me of my endeavours? I have

nothing else to trust to."

By the morning my pain was moderated. Ted Bentham, calling, then persuaded me to be blooded. I continued in great pain. In the evening

he brought Dr. Manaton.

On Saturday morning I was blooded again; and at night a third time.

Sun., February 26th. Mr. Wells brought my sister Kezzy. Dr. Fruin came.

I dictated a letter to Dr. Cockburn, and James Hutton.

Mon., February 27th. The scale seemed to turn for life. I had prayed

that my pains might not outlast this day; and was answered.

Tues., February 28th. My dear James Hutton came post from London,

and brought me Dr. Cockburn's letter and directions. As soon as I was

able, I sent my brother at Tiverton the following account: -

"Dear Brother, - I borrow another's hand, as I cannot use my own. You

remember Dr. South's saying [I have been within the jaws of death, but

he was not suffered to shut his mouth upon me]. I ought never to

forget it. Dr. Manaton told me, he expected to have found me dead at

his second visit. This several remarkable accidents concurred to

hinder. I had kept in a week before the pleurisy came, and taken

physic twice. At midnight it seized me so violently, that I never

expected to see the morning. In the preceding afternoon I had taken

Dr. Cockburn's electuary, and an hour after was visited by so

outrageous a tooth-ache, that it forced me to the abominable remedy

of a pipe. This quickly made me discharge my astringent, and, in all

probability, saved my life; binding medicines being poison in a

pleuritic fever. I took my illness for the flux, and so never thought of

sending for a physician. T. Bentham fetched him against my will, and

was probably the instrument of saving my life a second time. Dr. M.

called in Dr. Fruin. They bled me three times, and poured down

draughts, oils, and apozems without end. For four days the balance

was even. Then, as Spenser says,

'I over-wrestled my strong enemy.'

Ever since I have been slowly gathering strength; and yesterday took

my first journey to my sister's room, who has been with me from the

beginning, and no small comfort to me.

"One consequence of my sickness you will not be sorry for, - its stopping my sudden return to Georgia. For the Doctor tells me, to

undertake a voyage now would be certain death. Some reasons for his

not going immediately my brother will mention to you in person.

"Before I was taken ill, my brother set out for Tiverton; but came back

instead of proceeding on his journey; stayed a week with me; and then

went with Mr. Kinchin to Manchester.

"For some days that I continued mending, I was greatly tormented

with the tooth-ache. One day I prayed that the pain might be

suspended; and it was for all that day.

"I had Dr. Fruin to my sister, taken ill. We communicated almost every

day."

Tues., March 28th. I was greatly moved in reading the Life of Mr.

Halyburton.

Mon., April 3rd. By my brother's advice, I resolved to give up my

Secretary's place; and to-day wrote my letter of resignation.

Sat., April 8th. I got abroad to the evening prayers at Christ-church;

and received comfort from the lessons and anthem.

Wed., April 12th. I received Mr. Oglethorpe's answer to my letter of

resignation; wherein he offered, if I would keep my place, to get it

supplied in my absence by a deputy.

Sat., April 15th. Drs. Fruin and Mancron called, and forbade my

voyage. Both as physicians and friends they advised me not to go, but

stay at College, since I might, as senior Master, expect offices and

preferment.

Wed., April 19th. I came up to town, to take my leave of Mr.

Oglethorpe, who received me with his accustomed kindness. The next

day I had the satisfaction of once more meeting that man of God, Peter

Bohler.

Mon., April 24th. I took a ride to Blendon. In the afternoon we made

Mr. Piers a visit; and, returning, found Mr. Broughton and my brother

at Blendon.

Tues., April 25th. Soon after five, as we were met in our little chapel, Mrs. Delamotte came to us. We sang, and fell into a dispute whether

conversion was gradual or instantaneous. My brother was very

positive for the latter, and very shocking; mentioned some late

instances of gross sinners believing in a moment. I was much offended

at his worse than unedifying discourse. Mrs. Delamotte left us

abruptly. I stayed, and insisted, a man need not know when first he

had faith. His obstinacy in favouring the contrary opinion drove me at

last out of the room. Mr. Broughton was only not so much scandalized

as myself. After dinner, he and my brother returned to town. I stayed

behind, and read them the Life of Mr. Halyburton: one instance, but

only one, of instantaneous conversion.

Wed., April 26th. I passed the day at Mr. Piers's, in singing, and

reading, and mutual encouragement. In the evening we finished

Halyburton. The meltingness it occasioned in me, (like those before,)

soon passed away as a morning cloud. Next morning I returned to

London.

Fri., April 28th. No sooner was I got to James Hutton's, having

removed my things thither from his father's, than the pain in my side

returned, and with that my fever. Having disappointed God in his last

visitation, he has now again brought me to the bed of sickness.

Towards told-night I received some relief by bleeding. In the morning

Dr. Cockburn came to see me; and a better physician, Peter Bohler,

whom God had detained in England for my good. He stood by my

bedside, and prayed over me, that now at least I might see the divine

intention, in this and my late illness. I immediately thought it might he

that I should again consider Bohler's doctrine of faith; examine myself

whether I was in the faith; and if I was not, never cease seeking and

longing after it, till I attained it.

May 1 - August 31, 1738

Mon., May 1st. Mr. Piers called to see me. I exhorted him to labour

after that faith which he thinks I have, and I know I have not. After

receiving the sacrament, I felt a small anticipation of peace, and said,

"Now I have demonstration against the Moravian doctrine that a man

cannot have peace without assurance of his pardon. I now have peace,

yet cannot say of a surety that my sins are forgiven." The next and several times after that I received the sacrament, I had not so much as

bare attention, God no longer trusting me with comfort, which I

should immediately turn against himself.

For some days following I felt a faint longing for faith; and could pray

for nothing else. My desires were quickened by a letter of Mr.

Edmunds, seeking Christ as in an agony.

Sat., May 6th. God still kept up the little spark of desire, which he

himself had enkindled in me; and I seemed determined to speak of,

and wish for, nothing but faith in Christ. Yet could not this preserve me

from sin; which I this day ran into with my eyes open: so that after ten

years' vain struggling, I own and feel it absolutely unconquerable. By

bearing witness to the truth before Miss Delamotte, Mr. Baldwyn, and

others, I found my desires of apprehending Christ increased.

Thur., May 11th. I was just going to remove to old Mr. Hutton's, when

God sent Mr. Bray to me, a poor ignorant mechanic, who knows

nothing but Christ; yet by knowing him, knows and discerns all things.

Some time ago I had taken leave of Peter Bohler, confessed my

unbelief and want of forgiveness, but declared my firm persuasion

that I should receive the atonement before I died. His answer was, "Be

it unto thee according to thy faith."

Mr. Bray is now to supply Bohler's place. We prayed together for faith.

I was quite overpowered and melted into tears, and hereby induced to

think it was God's will that I should go to his house, and not to Mr.

Hutton's. He was of the same judgment. Accordingly I was carried

thither in a chair.

His sister I found in earnest pursuit of Christ; his wife well inclined to

conversion. I had not been here long, when Mr. Broughton called. I

hoped to find him altered like myself; but, alas! his time is not yet

come. As to M. Turner, he gave her up; "but for you, M. Bray," said he, "I hope you are still in your senses, and not run mad after a faith which

must be felt." He went on contradicting and blaspheming. I thought it

my duty to withstand him, and to confess my want of faith. "God help

you, poor man," he replied: "if I could think you have not faith, I am sure it would drive me to despair." I put all my hopes of ever attaining

it, or eternal salvation, upon the truth of this assertion, "I have not now the faith of the Gospel."

As soon as he left us, Mr. Bray read me many comfortable scriptures,

which greatly strengthened my desire; so that I was persuaded I

should not leave his house, before I believed with my heart unto

righteousness.

Fri., May 12th. I waked in the same blessed temper, hungry and thirsty.

after God. I began Isaiah, and seemed to see that to me were the

promises made, and would be fulfilled, for that Christ loved me. I

found myself more desirous, more assured I should believe. This day

(and indeed my whole time) I spent in discoursing on faith, either

with those that had it, or those that sought it; in reading the Scripture,

and in prayer.

I was much moved at the sight of Mr. Ainsworth, a man of great

learning, above seventy, who, like old Simeon, was waiting to see the

Lord's salvation, that he might depart in peace. His tears, and

vehemence, and childlike simplicity, showed him upon the entrance of

the kingdom of heaven. In the afternoon I read Isaiah with Mr.

Edmunds: saw him full of promises, and that they belonged to me. In

the midst of our reading, Miss Claggetts came, and asked that they

might hear us. We were all much encouraged to pursue the glorious

prize held out to us by the evangelical Prophet.

When the company was gone, I joined with Mr. Bray in prayer and the

Scripture, and was so greatly affected, that I almost thought Christ was

coming that moment. I concluded the night with private vehement

prayer.

Sat., May 13th. I waked without Christ; yet still desirous of finding

him. Soon after W. Delamotte came, and read me the 68th Psalm,

strangely full of comfortable promises. Toward noon I was enabled to

pray with desire and hope, and to lay claim to the promises in general.

The afternoon I spent with my friends, in mutual exhortation to wait

patiently for the Lord in prayer and reading. At night my brother

came, exceeding heavy. I forced him (as he had often forced me) to

sing an hymn to Christ, and almost thought He would come while we

were singing: assured He would come quickly. At night I received much light and comfort from the Scriptures.

Sun., May 14th. The beginning of the day I was very heavy, weary, and

unable to pray; but the desire soon returned, and I found much

comfort both in prayer and in the word, my eyes being opened more

and more to discern and lay hold on the promises. I longed to find

Christ, that I might show him to all mankind; that I might praise, that I

might love him.

Several persons called to-day, and were convinced of unbelief. Some of

them afterwards went to Mr. Broughton, and were soon made as easy

as Satan and their own hearts could wish.

Mon., May 15th. I finished Halyburton's Life with Miss Claggetts, &c. I

found comfort in the 102nd Psalm.

Tues., May 16th. I waked weary, faint, and heartless. My brother Hall

coming to see me, I urged him to examine himself, whether he was in

the faith. Two questions decided the matter: "Are you sure that is

right?" "Yes." "Are you as sure of the things unseen; of Christ being in you of a truth?" "Yes; infinitely surer." In the afternoon I seemed deeply sensible of my misery, in being without Christ.

Wed., May 17th. I experienced the power of Christ rescuing me in

temptation. To-day I first saw Luther on the Galatians, which Mr.

Holland had accidentally lit upon. We began, and found him nobly full

of faith. My friend, in hearing him, was so affected, as to breathe out

sighs and groans unutterable. I marvelled that we were so soon and so

entirely removed from him that called us into the grace of Christ, unto

another Gospel. Who would believe our Church had been founded on

this important article of justification by faith alone? I am astonished I

should ever think this a new doctrine; especially while our Articles

and Homilies stand unrepealed, and the key of knowledge is not yet

taken away.

From this time I endeavoured to ground as many of our friends as

came in this fundamental truth, salvation by faith alone, not an idle,

dead faith, but a faith which works by love, and is necessarily

productive of all good works and all holiness.

I spent some hours this evening in private with Martin Luther, who was greatly blessed to me, especially his conclusion of the 2nd

chapter. I laboured, waited, and prayed to feel "who loved me, and

gave himself for the." When nature, near exhausted, forced me to bed, I

opened the book upon, "For he will finish the work, and cut it short in

righteousness, because a short work will the Lord make upon earth."

After this comfortable assurance that He would come, and would not

tarry, I slept in peace.

Thur., May 18th. In the approach of a temptation, I looked up to Christ,

and confessed my helplessness. The temptation was immediately beat

down, and continually kept off by a power not my own. About

midnight I was waked by the return of my pleurisy. I felt great pain

and straitness at my heart; but found immediate relief by bleeding. I

had some discourse with Mr. Bray; thought myself willing to die the

next moment, if I might but believe this; but was sure I could not die,

till I did believe. I earnestly desired it.

Fri., May 19th. At five this morning the pain and difficulty in breathing

returned. The Surgeon was sent for; but I fell asleep before he could

bleed me a second time. I was easier all day, after taking Dr.

Cockburn's medicines. I had not much desire. I received the

sacrament; but not Christ. At seven Mrs. Turner came, and told me, I

should not rise from that bed till I believed. I believed her saying, and

asked, "Has God then bestowed faith upon you?" "Yes, he has." "Why, have you peace with God?" "Yes, perfect peace." "And do you love Christ above all things?" "I do, above all things incomparably." "Then you are willing to die?" "I am; and would be glad to die this moment; for I know all my sins are blotted out; the handwriting that was

against me is taken out of the way, and nailed to his cross. He has

saved me by his death; he has washed me with his blood; he has hid

me in his wounds. I have peace in Him, and rejoice with joy

unspeakable, and full of glory."

Her answers were so full to these and the most searching questions I

could ask, that I had no doubt of her having received the atonement;

and waited for it myself with a more assured hope. Feeling an

anticipation of joy upon her account, and thanking Christ as I could, I

looked for him all night with prayers and sighs and unceasing desires.

Sat., May 20th. I waked much disappointed, and continued all day in great dejection, which the sacrament did not in the least abate.

Nevertheless God would not suffer me to doubt the truth of his

promises. Mr. Bray, too, seemed troubled at my not yet believing, and

complained of his uneasiness and want of patience. "But so it is with

me," says he: when my faith begins to fail, God gives me some sign to

support it." He then opened a Testament, and read the first words that

presented, Matt. 9:1: "And he entered into a ship, and passed over, and

came into his own city. And, behold, they brought to him a man sick of

the palsy, lying on a bed: and Jesus, seeing their faith, said unto the

sick of the palsy, Son, be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee. And,

behold, certain of the scribes and Pharisees said within themselves,

This man blasphemeth. And Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said,

Wherefore think ye evil in your hearts? For whether is easier, to say,

Thy sins be forgiven thee, or to say, Arise and walk? But that ye may

know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (then

saith he to the sick of the palsy,) Arise, take up thy bed, and go unto

thine own house. And he arose, and departed to his house. And when

the multitude saw it, they marvelled, and glorified God, which had

given such power unto man."

It was a long while before he could read this through, for tears of joy:

and I saw herein, and firmly believed, that his faith would be available

for the healing of me. THE DAY OF PENTECOST.

Sun., May 21st, 1738. I waked in hope and expectation of His coming.

At nine my brother and some friends came, and sang an hymn to the

Holy Ghost. My comfort and hope were hereby increased. In about

half-an-hour they went: I betook myself to prayer; the substance as

follows: -

"Oh Jesus, thou hast said, 'I will come unto you;' thou hast said, 'I will send the Comforter unto you; thou hast said, 'My Father and I will

come unto you, and make our abode with you.' Thou art God who

canst not lie; I wholly rely upon thy most true promise: accomplish it

in thy time and manner." Having said this, I was composing myself to

sleep, in quietness and peace, when I heard one come in Mrs.

Musgrave, I thought, by the voice) and say, "In the name of Jesus of

Nazareth, arise, and believe, and thou shalt be healed of all thy

infirmities." I wondered how it should enter into her head to speak in that manner. The words struck me to the heart. I sighed, and said

within myself, "O that Christ would but speak thus to me from Christ

of my recovery, soul and body. She returned home repeating with all

joy and triumph, "I believe, I believe:" yet her heart failed her, and she durst not say the words to me that night.

On Sunday morning she took Mr. Bray aside, burst into tears, and

informed him of the matter; objecting she was a poor weak sinful

creature, and should she go to a Minister? She could not do it; nor rest

till she did. He asked whether she had ever found herself so before.

"No, never." "Why, then," said he, "go. Remember Jonah. You declare promises, not threatenings. Go in the name of the Lord. Fear not your

own weakness. Speak the words: Christ will do the work. Out of the

mouth of babes and sucklings hath he ordained strength."

They prayed together, and she then went up, but durst not come in till

she had prayed again by herself. About six minutes after she had left

him, he found and felt, while she was speaking the words, that Christ

was with us. I never heard words uttered with like solemnity. The

sound of her voice was entirely changed into that of Mrs. Musgrave. (If

I can be sure of anything sensible.) I rose and looked into the

Scripture. The words that first presented were, "And now, Lord, what

is my hope truly my hope is even in thee." I then cast down my eye,

and met, "He hath put a new song in my mouth, even a thanksgiving

unto our God. Many shall see it, and fear, and shall put their trust in

the Lord." Afterwards I opened upon Isaiah 40:1: "Comfort ye, comfort ye, my people, saith your God: speak ye comfortably to Jerusalem, and

cry unto her, that her warfare is accomplished, that her iniquity is

pardoned; for she hath received of the Lord's hand double for all her

sin."

I now found myself at peace with God, and rejoiced in hope of loving

Christ. My temper for the rest of the day was, mistrust of my own

great, but before unknown, weakness. I saw that by faith I stood; by

the continual support of faith, which kept me from falling, though of

myself I am ever sinking into sin. I went to bed still sensible of my own

weakness, (I humbly hope to be more and more so,) yet confident of

Christ's protection.

Mon., May 22nd. Under his protection I waked next morning, and rejoiced in reading the 107th Psalm, so nobly describing what God

had done for my soul. I fell asleep again, and waked out of a dream

that I was fighting with two devils; had one under my feet; the other

faced me some time, but faded, and sunk, and vanished away, upon my

telling him I belonged to Christ.

To-day I saw him chiefly as my King, and found him in his power: but

saw little of the love of Christ crucified, or of my sins past: though

more, I humbly hope, of my own weakness and his strength. I had

many evil thoughts darted into my mind, but I rejected them

immediately yet not I). At noon I rose, continually fainting,

nevertheless upheld. I was greatly strengthened by Isaiah 43, which

God directed me to. "But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O

Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed

thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest

through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they

shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt

not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the

Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour."

My brother coming, we joined in intercession for him. In the midst of

prayer, I almost believed the Holy Ghost was coming upon him. In the

evening we sang and prayed again. I found myself very weak in body,

but thought I ought to pray for my friends, being the only Priest

among them. I kneeled down, and was immediately strengthened,

both mind and body. The enemy did not lose such an opportunity of

tempting me to pride: but, God be praised, my strength did I ascribe

unto Him. I was often since assisted to pray readily and earnestly,

without a form.

Not unto me, O Lord, not unto me, but to thy name be the glory!

An old friend called to see me, under great apprehensions that I was

running mad. His fears were not a little increased by my telling him

the prayer of faith had healed me when sick at Oxford. "He looked to

see the rays of light about my head," he said, and more to that

purpose. I begged him, for his own sake, not to pass sentence till he

had his full evidence concerning me. This he could not promise, but

faintly prayed me to flee from London, and, in despair of me, took his leave.

It was morning before I could get to sleep. Many motions of pride

arose, and were continually beaten down by Christ my King. The devil

also tempted me to impatience through pain; but God turned it into an

occasion of resignation.

Tues., May 23rd. I waked under the protection of Christ, and gave

myself up, soul and body, to him. At nine I began an hymn upon my

conversion, but was persuaded to break off, for fear of pride. Mr. Bray

coming, encouraged me to proceed in spite of Satan. I prayed Christ to

stand by me, and finished the hymn. Upon my afterwards showing it

to Mr. Bray, the devil threw in a fiery dart, suggesting, that it was

wrong, and I had displeased God. My heart sunk within me; when,

casting my eye upon a Prayer-book, I met with an answer for him.

"Why boastest thou thyself, thou tyrant, that thou canst do mischief?"

Upon this, I clearly discerned it was a device of the enemy to keep

back glory from God. And it is most usual with him to preach humility,

when speaking will endanger his kingdom, or do honour to Christ.

Least of all would he have us tell what things God has done for our

souls, so tenderly does he guard us from pride. But God has showed

me, he can defend me from it, while speaking for him. In his name

therefore, and through his strength, I will perform my vows unto the

Lord, of not hiding his righteousness within my heart, if it should ever

please him to plant it there.

Throughout this day he has kept up in me a constant sense of my own

weakness. At night I was tempted to think the reason of my believing

before others was, my sincerity. I rejected the thought with horror,

and remained more than conqueror, through Him that loved me.

Wed., May 24th. Being to receive the sacrament to-day, I was assaulted

by the fear of my old accustomed deadness; but soon recovered my

confidence in Christ, that he would give me so much sense of his love

now, as he saw good for me. I received without any sensible devotion,

much as I used to be, only that I was afterwards perfectly calm and

satisfied, Without doubt, fear, or scruple. Among our communicants

was Mrs. Pratt, who had been with me the night before, and related

her receiving Christ in a dream, when under great trouble. His words to her were, "Be of good cheer, thy prayer is heard." From that time to this, being six years, she has enjoyed perfect peace. Most of Saturday

night she had spent in intercession for me; as on Sunday morning I

experienced.

I was much pleased to-day at the sight of Mr. Ainsworth, a little child,

full of grief, and fears, and love. At our repeating the line of the hymn,

"Now descend, and shake the earth," he fell down as in an agony. I

found a general delight in their singing, but little attention: yet was

not disquieted.

We passed the afternoon in prayer, singing, and conference. For one

half hour I was with Miss Delamotte; now unconvinced, and full of

dispute. I bore my testimony with plainness and confidence, declaring

what God had done for my soul. Not hurt, but strengthened hereby.

From her I went to Miss Claggetts; young women of a better and more

childlike spirit, who calmly and confidently looked for the promises. I

was farther comforted by an excellent letter from my namesake in

Georgia, persecuted for Christ's sake; on the highest step, I trust, of

the legal state.

At eight I prayed by myself for love; with some feeling, and assurance

of feeling more. Towards ten, my brother was brought in triumph by a

troop of our friends, and declared, "I believe." We sang the hymn with great joy, and parted with prayer. At midnight I gave myself up to

Christ; assured I was safe, sleeping or waking. Had continual

experience of his power to overrule all temptation; and confessed,

with joy and surprise, that he was able to do exceeding abundantly for

me, above what I can ask or think.

Thur., May 25th. I commended myself to Christ, my Prophet, Priest,

and King. Miss D. came in a better mind. Before communicating, I left

it to Christ, whether, or in what measure, he would please to manifest

himself to me, in this breaking of bread. I had no particular attention

to the prayers: but in the prayer of consecration I saw, by the eye of

faith, or rather, had a glimpse of, Christ's broken, mangled body, as

taking down from the cross. Still I could not observe the prayer, but

only repeat with tears, "O love, love!" At the same time, I felt great 135

peace and joy; and assurance of feeling more, when it is best.

Soon after I was a little cast down, by feeling some temptation, and

foreseeing more; but God lifted me up by his word. "Fear not: for I

have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.

When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and

through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest

through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame

kindle upon thee." (Isai. xliii.) This promise was fulfilled in me when

under frequent motions of sin: I looked up to Christ, and found them

beaten down continually.

Fri., May 26th. We joined this morning in supplication for the poor

malefactors, while passing to execution; and in the sacrament

commended their souls to Christ. The great comfort we found therein

made us confidently hope some of them were received as the penitent

thief at the last hour. I was much refreshed soon after by Miss

Delamotte, who, by the mercy of Christ, is brought back again, and

more athirst after him than ever. I dined with great liberty of spirit,

being amazed to find my old enemy, intemperance, so suddenly

subdued, that I have almost forgot I was ever in bondage to him. In the

evening I broke through my own great unwillingness, and at last

preached faith in Christ to an accidental visitant.

Sat., May 27th. I felt a motion of anger, from a trifling disappointment;

but it was no sooner felt than conquered. I received the sacrament:

still no sensible love; but comfort. A gentlewoman, who has been long

under the law, calling to see me, I thought, as she lived in the midst of

opposers, no good could be done by speaking. Yet was I overruled to

preach the Gospel. She seemed convinced and comforted. After she

was gone, I was much assisted to intercede for her, and for poor Mr.

Broughton, who continues the very life of all those that oppose the

faith. Two or three others calling were reproved of sin by the holy

Spirit of God. Miss Claggetts seemed on the very border of Canaan;

being fully convinced of righteousness also, of Christ's imputed

righteousness; and looking to receive it every moment as by promise

theirs.

Trinity Sunday, May 28th. I rose in great heaviness, which neither

private nor joint prayer could remove. At last I betook myself to intercession for my relations, and was greatly helped and enlarged

herein; particularly in prayer for a most profligate sinner. I spent the

morning with James Hutton, in prayer, and singing, and rejoicing. In

the afternoon my brother came, and, after a short prayer for success

upon our ministry, set out for Tiverton. I then began writing my first

sermon in the name of Christ my Prophet.

To-day Mrs. Bray related to me the manner of her receiving faith in

public prayers, and the great conflicts she has since had with the

enemy. For some days he so darkened the work of God, that though

her eye of faith had been opened to see herself encompassed with the

blood of Christ, yet still he suggested to her that she did not believe,

because she had not the joy which others had. She was just

overpowered by his devices, when in great heaviness she opened

upon, "Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief." This stayed her for a time: but the tempter still pursued, and in the very words he had used

to shake my brother's faith. She went to public prayer, and was fervent

throughout the whole. Toward the conclusion she saw as it were Satan

under her feet; and came home in all the triumph of faith.

After dinner Miss Claggett and other friends came. I thought some

would be now gathered into the fold, and was much assisted to pray. I

rose, and saw the younger Miss Claggett under the work of God. I

asked, urged, believed that she believed. She thought so too, but was

afraid to confess it. While she stood trembling and in tears, I consulted

the oracle for her, and met with Isai. 30:18: "And therefore will the

Lord wait, that he may be gracious unto you; and therefore will he be

exalted, that he may have mercy upon you: for the Lord is a God of

judgement; blessed are all they that wait for him. For the people shall

dwell in Sion at Jerusalem; thou shalt weep no more: he will be very

gracious to thee, at the voice of thy cry; when he shall hear it, he will

answer thee: She then opened the book on 2 Cor. 5:11: "Old things are

passed away; behold, all things are become new." She read so far, and

gave me the book to read on: "And all things are of God, who hath

reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the

ministry of reconciliation; to wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling

the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and

hath committed to us the word of reconciliation. Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray

you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God. For he hath made him to

be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the

righteousness of God in him."

Mr. Holland then read, "Stand fast in the liberty where with Christ

hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of

bondage." She now openly professed her faith, and increased in

confidence every moment. We joined in hearty thanks to God for his

unspeakable gift.

Just before parting, she opened the book upon Luke 8:39: "Return to

thine own house, and show how great things God hath done unto

thee." This success was followed with inward trials; but at the same

time I experienced the superior power of Christ.

Wed., May 31st. To-day God enabled me, in spite of the devil and my

own heart, to send Mr. Wells a plain simple account of what God hath

done for my soul.

THURSDAY, June 1st, 1738. I was troubled to-day, that I could not pray,

being utterly dead at the sacrament.

Fri., June 2nd. I was still unable to pray; still dead in communicating;

full of a cowardly desire of death.

Sat., June 3rd. My deadness continued, and the next day increased. I

rose exceeding heavy and averse to prayer; so that I almost resolved

not to go to church; which I had not been able to do, till within these

two or three days past. When I did go, the prayers and sacrament

were exceeding grievous to me; and I could not help asking myself,

"Where is the difference between what I am now, and what I was

before believing?" I immediately answered, "That the darkness was

not like the former darkness, because I was satisfied there was no

guilt in it; because I was assured it would be dispersed; and because,

though I could not find I loved God, or feel that he loved me, yet I did

and would believe he loved me notwithstanding."

I returned home, and lay down with the same load upon me. This Mr.

Ingham's coming could not alleviate. They sung, but I had no heart to

join; much less in public prayers. In the evening Mr. Brown, Holland, and others called. I was very averse to coming among them, but forced

myself to it, and spent two or three hours in singing, reading, and

prayer. This exercise a little revived me; and I found myself much

assisted to pray.

We asked particularly, that, if it was the will of God, some one might

now receive the atonement. While I was yet speaking the words, Mr.

Brown found power to believe. He rose and told me, my prayer was

heard, and answered in him. At the same time Mr. Burton opened the

Bible upon Col. 1:26: "Even the mystery which has been hid from ages

and from generations, but now is made manifest to his saints: to

whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this

mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory."

We were all full of joy and thanksgiving. Before we parted, I prayed

with Mr. Brown, and praised God, to the great confirmation of my

faith. The weight was quite taken off. I found power to pray with great

earnestness, and rejoiced in my trials having continued so long, to

show me that it is then the best time to labour for our neighbour,

when we are most cast down, and most unable to help ourselves.

Mon., June 5th. I waked thankful, with power to pray and praise. I had

peace at the sacrament, and some attention in public prayer. In the

afternoon I met Mrs. Sims, with Mr. and Mrs. Burton, at Islington. He

told me God had given him faith, while I was praying last night; but he

thought it would do hurt to declare it then. Upon finding his heart

burn within him, he desired God would show him some token of his

faith, and immediately opened on, "Let there be light, and there was

light." We rejoiced together in prayer and singing; and left the rest of

the company much stirred up to wait for the same unspeakable gift.

Tues., June 6th. In the evening I read Luther, as usual, to a large

company of our friends. Mr. Burton was greatly affected. My inward

temptations are, in a manner, uninterrupted. I never knew the energy

of sin, till now that I experience the superior strength of Christ.

Wed., June 7th. I found myself this morning under my Father's

protection; and reading Matt. 7, "Ask, and ye shall receive," I asked some sense of his love in the sacrament. It was there given me to

believe assuredly that God loved me, even when I could have no sense of it. Some imperfect perception of his love I had, and was

strengthened to hope against hope, after communicating.

I went to Mrs. Sims, and passed the afternoon in singing and reading

the promises. Miss Claggetts, Mr. Chapman, Verding, and others,

dropped in, as by accident. We all went to public prayers; whence we

again returned, contrary to my intention, to Mr. Sims. We joined in

pleading the promises, and asking some token for good. I rose in

confidence of our prayer being heard; and at the same time Mr.

Verding declared, with great simplicity and astonishment, that he had

seen as it were a whole army rushing by him, and bearing the broken

body of Christ. He found himself quite overpowered at the sight; was

all in a cold sweat. While he spoke, my heart bore witness to the work

of God in his; and I felt myself affected as on Whitsunday; was assured

it was Christ; said the written word would bear witness with the

personal, and opened it for a sign upon Isai. 45:24, 25: "Surely shall

one say, In the Lord have I righteousness and strength: even to him

shall men come, and all that are incensed against him shall be

ashamed. In the Lord shall all the seed of Israel be justified, and shall

glory." I then read, "Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is none else. I have sworn by myself, the

word is gone out of my mouth in righteousness, and shall not return,

that unto me every knee shall bow, every tongue shall swear." And

then, 1 Peter 1:3, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus

Christ, which, according to his abundant mercy, hath begotten us

again unto a lively hope, by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the

dead, to an inheritance incorruptible, undefiled, and that fadeth not

away, reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God

through faith unto salvation." After this he grew visibly in the faith,

and we rejoiced and gave God thanks for the consolation. He appeared

a very child; owned he feared nothing so much as offending his

Father; was ready to die that moment. In the beginning of prayer he

could hardly persuade himself to kneel down, not thinking he could

find any benefit; so poor, so sinful a creature, what should he pray for?

Returning home in triumph, I found Dr. Byrom; and, in defiance of the

tempter, simply told him the great things Jesus had done for me and

many others. This drew on a full explanation of the doctrine of faith, which he received with wonderful readiness. Toward midnight I slept

in peace.

Thur., June 8th. I had the satisfaction of hearing Mr. Sparks confess

himself convinced now, that he is under the law, not under grace. In

public prayer it pleased the Lord to melt me into humility and love.

At three I took coach for Blendon, with Mr. Bray; and had much talk

with a lady about the fall, and faith in Christ. She openly maintained

the merit of good works. I would all who oppose the righteousness of

faith were so ingenuous: then would they no longer seek it as it were

by the works of the law.

Before seven we came to Eltham. In riding thence to Blendon, I was

full of delight, and seemed in new heavens and a new earth. We

prayed, and sang, and shouted all the way. We found Miss Betsy and

Hetty at home, and prayed that this day salvation might come to this

house. In the lesson were those words, "This is the accepted time, this

is the day of salvation."

Fri., June 9th. I prayed with fervour for the family. The second lesson

was blind Bartimeus. In riding to Bexley, with Mr. Piers, I spake of my

experience in simplicity and confidence and found him very ready to

receive the faith. We spent the day in the same manner, Mr. Bray

relating the inward workings of God upon his soul, and I the great

things he had lately done for me, and our friends at London. He

listened eagerly to all that was said, not making the least objection,

but confessing it was what he had never experienced. We walked, and

sang, and prayed in the garden. He was greatly moved, and testified

his full conviction, and desire of finding Christ. "But I must first," said he, "prepare myself by long exercise of prayer and good works."

At night we joined in prayer for Hetty. Never did I pray with greater

earnestness, expecting an immediate answer; and being much

disappointed at not finding it, I consulted the Scripture, and met with

Jehu's words to his men, "Let none escape out of your hands." Then, "I trust that I shall come shortly." Still I was in great heaviness for her, and could not sleep till morning. Waking full of desire for her

conversion, those words were brought to my remembrance, "The

Spirit and the bride say, Come; and let him that heareth say, Come; and let him that is athirst come: and whosoever will, let him take of the

water of life freely. At this instant came a flash of lightning, then

thunder, then violent rain. I accepted it as a sign that the skies would

soon pour down righteousness.

Yesterday (the devil of secrecy being expelled) Miss Betsy plainly

informed me, that, after her last receiving the sacrament, she heard a

voice, "Go thy way, thy sins are forgiven thee," and she was filled

thereby with joy unspeakable. She said within herself, "Now I do

indeed feed upon Christ in my heart by faith," and continued all day in

the spirit of triumph and exultation. All her life, she thought, would be

too little to thank God for that day. Yet even after this it was, that the

enemy got so great advantage over her, in making her oppose the

truth with such fierceness. For many days she did not know that she

had in herself demonstration of that she denied. But after we had

prayed that God would clear up his own work, the darkness of faith

dispersed, and those fears that her conversion was not real, by little

and little, were all done away.

Sat., June 10th. In the morning lesson was that glorious description of

the power of faith: "Jesus answering said unto them, Have faith in God.

For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this

mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall

not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he

saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. Therefore

I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe

that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." We pleaded this

promise in behalf of our seeking friends, particularly Hetty and Mr.

Piers. He came with his wife. The day before our coming he had been

led to read the Homily on Justification, which convinced him that in

him dwelt no good thing. Now he likewise saw, that the thoughts of his

heart were only evil continually, forasmuch as whatsoever is not of

faith is sin.

He asked God to give him some comfort, and found it in Luke 5:23, &c.:

"Whether is it easier to say, Thy sins be forgiven thee, or to say, Rise up and walk? But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power upon

earth to forgive sins, (he saith unto the sick of the palsy,) I say unto

thee, Arise, and take up thy bed, and go unto thine own house. And immediately he rose up before them, and took up that whereon he lay,

and departed to his own house, glorifying God. And they were all

amazed, and they glorified God, and were filled with fear, saying, We

have seen strange things to-day."

This was the very miracle, I told him, from which God had shown his

intention to heal me; and it was a sign of the like to be done by him.

Mr. Bray moved for retiring to prayer. We prayed after God, again and

again, and asked him, whether he believed Christ could just now

manifest himself to his soul. He answered, "Yes." We read him the

promise made to the prayer of faith. Mr. Bray bade me speak some

promise to him authoritatively, and he should find Christ make it good.

I had not faith to do it. He made me pray again, and then read Psalm

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