34. Joining Practices
Chapter Thirty-Four Joining Practices T he first practice of the tongue.
A soft answer turns away wrath, Proverbs 15:1. In your disputes let your arguments be as hard as you will, but let your words be soft. Soft words and hard arguments make a good dispute. Gentle language gains much upon the hearts of men. 1 Chronicles 28:2 says David: "Hear me my brethren, and my people." This was better and tended more to union between King and people than the rugged churlish answer of Rehoboam:
"My Father made your yoke heavy, and I will add to your yoke." But what came of it? Ten Tribes were rent from him. As good a man as he could say:
"Hear me my brethren and my people." Good words are as cheap as bad.
Gentle courteous language is as easy as rough and bitter. Genesis 49:21 says Naphtali gives goodly words—sayings of goodness or fairness; so the Hebrew has it—that is fair, pleasing words: this Tribe were fair-spoken men. Now compare this with Deuteronomy 33:23: there Naphtali is said to be satisfied with favor and full with the blessing of the Lord. Fair courteous language has an acceptance among men, and the blessing of God is with it.
The second joining Practice.
Let us humble ourselves for our divisions.
That is a rule: Whatever sin you have been guilty of, though you have for the time left it, yet if you have not been humbled for it, there is a high chance you will fall into it again. Yes, say some, it is fit we should humble ourselves for our divisions; we will have days of fasts that we may do it.
But take this note with you: In your days of fast or at other times when you would thus humble yourselves, let it be principally for your own guiltiness herein. Many in their humiliations make great complaints of others as the cause of divisions whom it may be God will own and acquit; take heed of being too forward in meddling with others in your fasts lest your fasts prove like those in Isaiah 58:4: "Ye fast for strife and debate and to smite with the fist."
The third joining Practice.
Where we see there have been mistakes and differences through human frailty, and a willingness to be otherwise, as far as God gives light, let all former unkindnesses be forgotten, so as never to bring up old things to charge them against one another. Let there be a line of forgetfulness drawn over them; let them be buried in oblivion.
This was the Athenians' Amnestia, a law made by Thrasybulus with the consent of the people, that former injuries should be forgotten. It was made upon this occasion: After Lysander had conquered the Athenians, he set thirty governors over them who tyrannized exceedingly. Thrasybulus, with many others, was banished; but after a while, Thrasybulus gathered together his banished countrymen, formed an army, and delivered the Athenians from the yoke of these thirty tyrants. Now, because when the banished men returned to their former possessions, Thrasybulus feared there would be great heartburning among the Athenians—that those who had been banished
would seek revenge upon those they judged responsible, and the others would be enraged against them—Thrasybulus got the people to join him in this law, which they called Amnestia, that all former wrongs should be forgotten and that they should live lovingly and peacefully henceforth with one another, as if such breaches had never occurred among them.
Whenever God shall deliver these kingdoms from bondage and settle things among us, the addition of such a law, which we may call our English
Amnestia, will be very necessary. Otherwise, oh, the abundance of the fire of malice that will remain raked up under the ashes, ready upon any occasion to burst out! One will look upon another with eyes full of revenge, with scorn, hatred, and disdain; one will charge the other as the cause of all our miseries and curse him; the other will charge him and curse him as deeply. Every time men think of what they have suffered, their hearts will be enraged. Such now is that extreme bitter exasperation and deadly rage of men's hearts one against another that whenever peace shall be concluded, if it is not made exceedingly sure, our pacification is likely to be the foundation of far greater evils to us than yet have befallen us. If this
Amnestia is not strengthened with what is in the wisdom and power of man to do, and with the blessing of the Almighty also with it, we are an undone people.
The Fourth Joining Practice Never contend unless you are sure you understand one another about what it is you contend for.
I have read of a quarrel between the Eastern and Western Churches; the Eastern Churches said there were three subsistences in the Trinity but not three persons; the Western said there were three persons but not three subsistences. Athanasius came and reconciled them both. It is true that the
contentions among us are more than verbal, yet for anything a great part of the kingdom knows (even those whose spirits are bitter enough), they may be no more than merely verbal. How many ignorant people, women, young ones do not understand where the difference lies between Presbyterians and those whom they call Independents; and yet they can with much bitterness cry out against one or the other. Perhaps you have some ministers or others come to your table; they tell you a tale of such and such, your heart is hot presently, but do you understand the matter? You begin to make a stir, but can you give an account of it? Be silent, forbear, take heed what you do; do not meddle in a way of strife until you understand where the controversy lies, and that from both parties.
The Fifth Joining Practice Be honest; 1. do not lie in wait to take advantage; 2. make the best interpretation of things you can.
If God should take advantage against us, what would become of us? This is most unseemly when men are seeking to find out truth if they shall piddle about words, catch at phrases, get hold of expressions, and seek to make their advantages out of them; and in this shall be the greatest strength of their answer. Though this may have a specious show before men who are willing to receive anything which makes against what they would have crushed, yet this will not stand before the throne of Christ.
We read in Matthew 4 that Christ had a great dispute with the Devil, in which he had him at a great advantage in his quotation of Scripture: "He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone." This was quoted from Psalm 91:11: "He shall give his angels charge over thee to keep thee in all thy ways." Yet Christ did not catch this advantage; he did
not even upbraid him for leaving out that passage, which he might justly have done, but he answered to the thing itself. Indeed, Christ might have taken further advantage against the Devil because the words following in the Psalm are a prophecy of Christ destroying the power of the Devil:
"Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under thy feet." Christ did not take advantage of this either or upbraid him with it; he had enough against him in the thing itself he brought. It is a sign that men have less advantage in the matter when they seek so much to catch at all the advantages they can in the manner of expressions of those whom they oppose.
2. Make the best interpretation of things you can. 1 Cor. 13:5. Love thinks no evil. It may be that if you meet a man in the streets and he does not stop to talk with you or take special notice of you, you immediately think it is his pride or his slighting and disregarding you. This is the worst interpretation possible. Why? Is it not possible that he may be overwhelmed with business in his head that you know nothing about? May it not be that his eyes and thoughts were elsewhere, and he did not notice you passing by? Is it not often the same with yourself in respect to others?
Again, perhaps you find that a man does not behave towards you as you expected when you are with him, not looking so smilingly upon you or carrying himself in that familiar, affable way. You immediately think and say, "Surely it is his pride and aloofness," whereas it may be because his head is fuller than yours, which may later be for your good if you would be patient for a while. It may be due to some trouble of his spirit at that time; it may be due to the temper of his body, his constitution, or some weakness in it at that time. If such a fair interpretation can be made, why should not an ingenuous, candid spirit make it?
This very exception was taken against Basilius Magnus, and Nazianzen in one of his Orations, in which he highly commends Basil, answers it, and justifies him. It is hard to keep unity, love, and peace with men who are of carping dispositions. If God were strict to mark what we do amiss, what would become of us? God is strict to mark what good there is in His Saints; if there is any little good amidst much imperfection, God's way is to pass by the imperfection and take notice of the good. But our way often is, if there is a little bad, though only through a very pardonable mistake amidst much good, to pass by all the good and seize upon the mistake, making it the seed of contention, brooding over it, and thus begetting the brats of contention from it. Certainly, this ought not to be so.
The Sixth Joining Practice:So far as Reason and Conscience will give way, yield to those whom you contend with.
That standing at a distance with those who dissent from us, even to the utmost, is the way of many; but certainly, it is a false way; God is not in it.
It may be some, yes many will judge this yielding to be a fair, handsome turning about to the other side; take heed of such bold censures: Is every difference from that rigid, stout spirit of yours a warping from the truth, a sinful temporizing for private ends? The Lord judge between you and His servants.
Some men who have been of yielding spirits in things that God would have them yield have stood out undauntedly when God has called them to witness to His truth when those who have been stout and harsh in their own ways have basely betrayed it when they have been tried with greater sufferings. Ambrose was a man of a sweet and moderate spirit; witness among other things that notable saying of his: "If that end of virtues be the greatest that looks at public good, Moderation is of all the most beautiful."
Ah, but I warrant you, Ambrose was a man who saw which way the times went; he was loath to hazard himself by standing out against men who had power in their hands; this temper of his made him thus plead for moderation.
No, Ambrose was a man of an invincible spirit in the ways of God. In all Ecclesiastical Story we read not of a braver spirit than his contesting with men of power in the cause of Christ. For when Theodosius the Emperor had been the cause of a great slaughter in Thessalonica, though provoked to it by sedition there, the Emperor a while after coming to Milan where
Ambrose's charge was, after the usual manner he came to the Church.
Ambrose meets him and forbids him entrance, reproving him before all the people: "Do you not know, oh Emperor," says he, "the barbarousness of that vile act of yours? Or do you not remember we have another Emperor above you? What bold impiety is this? Do you not fear to bring those feet of yours, polluted with the blood of innocents, into this holy place? Or to stretch forth those hands of yours, wet, yea dropping with blood, to take the most holy body of the Lord? Or to put that mouth of yours—which forgetting not only the clemency which belongs to an Emperor but also justice—gave out the sentence for killing so many innocent men—to the precious blood of the Lord? Away therefore; will you add impiety to your sin? Do not think much to come under that discipline which the Lord commands."
Upon this, the Emperor goes back to his Palace with sighing and tears and spent eight months in mourning and lamentation. Yet after this he was not received by Ambrose until again being sharply reprimanded he cast himself down in the porch upon the pavement bewailing his sin. Rising up he was about to sit in the Chancel where the Emperor's seat was; he was required to
go forth into the place of penitents. With similar boldness he dealt with Ruffinus, a great Courtier, the Master of the Emperor's Horse. Here behold a man of a moderate, quiet spirit, yielding in what he could yet when he conceived himself interested in the Cause of Christ his courage raises him above the fears or favors of men.
The Seventh Joining Practice:If you will strive, strive who shall do one another most good; who shall engage one another in the most and greatest offices of love.
This is a good combat; such striving as this God and His blessed Angels look upon and take much delight in.
I find a notable story in the life of Alexander the Great which may encourage Christians in such a combat as this: There was a great King in India named Taxiles who on one occasion came to salute Alexander and said unto him: "What need do we have to fight and make wars with one another if you do not come to take away our water and our necessary commodities for living by which things men of judgment must needs fight?
As for other goods if I am richer than thee I am ready to give thee of mine; and if I have less I will not think scorn to thank thee if thou wilt give me some of thine."
Alexander being pleased to hear him speak thus wisely embraced him and said unto him: "Thinkest thou that this meeting of ours can be without fight for all these goodly fair words? No no thou hast won nothing by them for I will fight and contend with thee in honesty and courtesy because thou shalt not exceed me in bounty and liberality." So Alexander took various gifts from him but gave more to him.
Oh, that our contentions were turned into such contentions as these are!
Let us rejoice in any opportunity to perform acts of love for those we differ
from, even for those who have wronged us. It was once said of Archbishop Cranmer, "If you would be sure to have Cranmer do you a good turn, you must do him some ill one," for though he loved to do good to all, he especially sought opportunities to do good to those who had wronged him.
If we had but a few leading men of such spirits among us, how great a blessing of peace might we enjoy!
**The Eighth Joining Practice** Let every man be diligent in the work that God calls him to.
Study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, 1 Thess. 4:11. It is not an arbitrary thing; the command of God lies upon it.
I am truly persuaded that many of our divisions in opinion and otherwise, our hard thoughts of one another, are raised and fomented by those who lack employment. Hence, they go about from place to place, arguing, disputing, and quarreling about things they do not understand; yet they think they have a deeper insight than ordinary. I would be loath to add to the affliction of those who, by the rage of the enemy, have been put out of their employments and have come for shelter among us. God forbid that I should willingly grieve them; their case is to be pitied. We are to succor, comfort, and help them as much as we can. However, I also desire them to be cautious of a temptation they may be under and not think of it in their lack of employment. Now that they are here, they meet with a variety of company and all sorts of people. Having too much time to spare, the Devil may soon and unawares prevail upon them to cause an itching desire for this opinion and that way. Once these opinions take hold of their hearts, they carry around what they hear and their apprehensions of things and persons, pleading and arguing for what they have only slight and sudden
apprehensions of. By arguing, the matter gets down into their spirits before it is thoroughly examined and understood. Once it is lodged there, it must be maintained, and so a spirit of contention rises in them, sowing seeds of contention among others.
It may be that some of your callings are low and mean, which may possibly discourage you. But let it not be so, for there may be as much obedience to God in your faithfulness in that humble calling as in the highest and most honorable employment on earth. Indeed, your reward may be as great, for God looks at faithfulness in the work, not the greatness of the work. Let every man know, says Luther, that his work in any godly kind of life is a divine work because it is the work of a divine call, having God's command for it.
In all strivings with men, take care that due respect for their persons is maintained as much as possible.
It is very observable that when God manifested His displeasure against the Devil in the Serpent by cursing him, He said, "Cursed be thou." But when He would manifest it against Simeon and Levi, it was not "Cursed be ye" or "Cursed be they," but "Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce, and their rage, for it was cruel." You may be bitter against men's sins as long as you show due respect for their persons. By denying the respect you might and ought to give to men's persons, you deprive yourself of the liberty you might otherwise take in opposing their sin, which is what you claim to aim at.
Labor to gain good from the wrongs done to us.
If we find God blessing them to us for good, our hearts will be very moderate towards those who have done them. The overruling providence of God turning the wrong that Joseph's brothers had done him into so much
good took Joseph's spirit away from practicing any evil against them. But when this good comes to us through the exercise of our own graces, it will be more effective in quieting and moderating our spirits. Philip of Macedon thanked some great men of Athens who had spread ill reports about him because both in speech and life he was better for it, laboring by words and deeds to prove them liars. The best answer to ill reports is to live contrary to them.
Turn your zeal from working against one another to zeal for God.
You will say, "Are works of zeal any help to peace and union? Who are they that make the greatest disturbances in the world but your fiery zealots?
If men were of a cooler temper, we would have more peace."
Answer: Distempered zeal may cause disturbance; but true zeal—the clear flame of the Spirit of God—makes men zealous not for themselves but for God. This has the blessing of God's peace with it. Numbers 25:12-13:
Phinehas there has the promise of the Covenant of Peace because he was zealous for his God.
In seeking to guide others towards good, let it appear that you seek rather to be helpful to them than to gain victory over them.
It is grievous to a man's nature to be conquered but not to be helped.
Ambrose wrote to his friend Marcellus about composing some breaches between him and his brother and sister with this excellent expression: "I thought that to be the best way; I would have none conquered and all overcome." A similar practice is reported of Scipio when at the taking of New Carthage two soldiers contended over the mural crown due to him who first climbed the walls. The whole army was in danger of division over this matter. When it came to Scipio, he decided thus: He told them they both got up the wall together and so gave the scaling crown to both.
Make up breaches as soon as possible.
Take them, if it may be, at the beginning. When good men fall out, usually only one of them is at fault initially, but if such strife continues for any time, both become guilty. If you delay setting a broken bone, it cannot be done without much difficulty and great pain. Proverbs 17:14 states, "The beginning of strife is as when one lets out water; therefore leave off contention before it be meddled with." You may read it as "before it gets into you and mingles itself in your heart, or between you and your brother."
If your house is on fire, you do not wait to quench it until it breaks out of the roof; divisions that start as mere sparks can grow very high and great in a short time.
I have read a story of two sons of the Duke of Florence who, after hunting, argued over whose dog killed the hare. Words multiplied, they grew heated, one drew upon the other and killed him. The servant, seeing his master killed, drew upon the killer and killed him. Do not neglect the beginnings of quarrels; you know not to what they may grow.
Let us account those brethren in whom we see godliness and carry ourselves towards them accordingly, even if they do not account us.
Let us not be too ready to take the forfeiture of our brethren. The learned and godly men who lived in the age when the Donatists renounced all
Christian communion with other churches, yet seeing godliness in many of them, still accounted them part of the Church and their brethren. Thus, they sought to draw those to them who thrust themselves away.
Pliny says of the pearls they call Unions that though they are engendered in the sea, they participate more of the heavens than of the sea. Certainly, this precious union, though it is among men, has its luster and beauty,
indeed its very being from the heavens. You must look up to heaven for peace, for its preservation, increase, luster, and beauty if you would have it.
Job 25:2 states, "God makes peace in his high places." The Lord can make peace between high and low. Let us bring men's rugged, crooked, perverse hearts to God in prayer, who is the great joiner of hearts; it is He who makes men of one mind in a house; He makes wars cease. Psalm 122:6 says, "Pray for the peace of Jerusalem." In your prayers for the Church, this must be mentioned as a special blessing. If praying does not prevail, fighting will not. Those are the most peaceable men in Church and Commonwealth who pray most for their peace. God has more prayers for the peace of this
Church and State from those whom some of you consider hinderers of it than from yours. You complain much about the lack of peace and inveigh against those you mark as hinderers of peace, but do you pray as much?
You have these means presented to you for furthering peace; use whatever other means you may encounter. 2 Thessalonians 3:16 states, "The Lord of peace give you peace always by all means."
And that all may be better improved, let the exhortation of the Apostle in 1 Thessalonians 4:11 sink into you: "Study to be quiet." The words are
"Love the honor of being quiet." There is great excellence in it.
That is the last thing.