house. The whole congregation was seriously attentive. In
Oct. 1774. ] JOURNAL.
favourite subjects,) " My yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
Friday, 14. I visited as many as I could, sick or well, and endeavoured to settle those that had been shaken by those bigots who are continually waiting to receive the weak " unto doubtful disputations."
I had intended, after preaching in the evening, to meet the society alone; but the eagerness of the people to stay, induced me to suffer a great part of them. Yet it was little to their satisfaction; for when I warned our brethren not to have "itching ears," they ran away in all haste.
Sat. 15.—Setting out (as usual) at two, I reached London early in the evening.
Monday, i7. I set out for Oxfordshire, and preached at Wallingford in the evening.
Tuesday, 18.
About nine I preached at Newnham ; at noon, in the garden at Oxford; and in the evening, at Finstock, (a village near Carnbury-house, built by the great Earl of Clarendon, but not inhabited by any of his descendants!) to a plain, artless people.
Wednesday, 19. I rode to Witney, and found more life than I expected, both in the congregation and the society. Thursday,
20. I preached at Wattleton, at the front of Mr. Stonehill's house.
The whole congregation was seriously attentive.
In the evening I preached at High-Wycomb, to many more than the Room would contain; and I believe not in vain.
Fri. 21.—I preached. in Chesham, and on Saturday returned to London.
Mon. 24.—I set out for Northamptonshire, and received a particular account of one that eminently adorned the Gospel :—
"1, Susannan Spencer was bory at Whittlebury, in the year 1742. When she was young she contracted a very general acquaintance, and was exceedingly beloved by them, having an agreeable person, a good understanding, and much sweetness of temper; and, being modest and decent in her whole behaviour, she seemed, like others, to think she had religion enough.
"2. In 1760, Thomas Grover came down, and preached several times at Whittlebury and at Towcester.
She went to hear him, but with a fixed resolution, 'not to be catched,' as she called it; but her resolution was vain.
In a sermon she heard at Towcester, she was cut to the heart.
Her convictions grew deeper and deeper from that time, for about a year. She was then hearing him preach, but felt her heart as hard as the nether millstone.
Yet at the love-feast which followed, it was suddenly broke in pieces, and she was all melted into tears, by
REV. J. WESLEY'S
[Oct. 1774. those words applied to her inmost soul, in an inexpressible: manner,— My God is reconciled, His pardoning voice I hear!
He owns me for his child; I can no longer fear.
"3. The day following, being exercised with strong temptation, she gave up her confidence; but the next night wrestling with God in prayer, she received it again with double evidence:
And though afterwards she frequently felt some doubts, yet it never continued long; but she had, in general, a clear, abiding sense of the pardoning love of God.
"4. From that time she walked steadily and closely with God, and was a pattern to all around her. She was particularly exact in reproving sin, and lost no opportunity of doing it. In her whole conversation she was remarkably lively, and yet gentle towards all men.
Her natural temper indeed was passionate, but the grace of God left scarce any traces of it.
"5, From the very time of her justification, she clearly saw the necessity of being wholly sanctified; and found an unspeakable hunger and thirst after the full image of God; and in the year 1772, God answered her desire.
The second change was wrought in as strong and distinct a manner as the first had been.
Yet she was apt to fall into unprofitable reasonings; by which her evidence was often so clouded, that she could not affirm she was saved from sin, though neither could she deny it.
But her whole life bore witness to the work which God had wrought in her heart.
She was as a mother in Israel, helping those that were weak, and tenderly concerned for all; while she sunk deeper into the love of God, and found more and more of the mind that was in Christ.
"6. In the summer, 1773, she took cold by lying in a damp bed. This threw her into a violent fever, which not only brought her very low, but fixed a deep cough upon her lungs, which no medicine could remove.
It quite wore her down; especially when there was added the loss of both her sistersand her mother, who were all taken away within a little time ofeach other.
She had likewise a continual cross from her father, and 'was at the same time tried by the falsehood of those friends in whom she confided, and whom she tenderly loved.
The following year, 1774, she had a presage of her death ; in consequence of which,
Oct. 1774.] JOURNAL,
she was continually exhorting the young women, Betty Padbury in particular, to fill up her place when God should remove her from them.
"7 Tn the beginning of winter I* understood, that, weak as she was, she had not proper néurishment; being unable to procure it for herself, and having no one to procure it for her ; so I took that charge upon myself; I worked with her in the day, (for she would work as long as she could move her fingers,) lay with her every night, and took care that she should want nothing which was convenient for her.
"8, For some time her disorder seemed at a stand, growing neither better nor worse ; but in spring, after she had takena quantity of the bark, she was abundantly worse.
Her cough continually increased, and her strength swiftly decayed; so that before Easter, she was obliged to take to her bed: And having now a near prospect of death, she mightily rejoiced in the thought, earnestly longing for the welcome moment ; only still with that reserve, ' Not as I will, but as thou wilt.'
"9, Mr. Harper (the Preacher) took several opportunities of asking her many questions.
She answered them all with readiness and plainness, to his entire satisfaction.
She told him abundance of temptations which she underwent from time to time; but still witnessed, that the blood of Christ had cleansed her from all sin.
She often said to us, The race we all are running now !
And if I first attain, Ye too your willing heads shall bow ; Ye shall the conquest gain !
"10, Commonly, when I came into her room, I was not able to speak for a time.
She would then say, 'Why do not you speak? Why do not you encourage me? I shall love you better when we meet in heaven, for the help you give me now.'
"11, In the last week or two, she was not able to speak many words at a time; but as she could, with her feeble, dying voice, she exhorted us to go forward.
Yet one day, some of her former companions coming in, her spirit seemed to revive; and she spoke to them, to our great surprise, for near an hour together.
They seemed deeply affected; and it was some time before the impression wore off.
* Elizabeth Padbury.
VOL. IV.
REV. J. WESLEY'S
[Nov. 1774.
"12. Her father now frequently came, sat by her bedside, and expressed tender affection; weeping much, and saying he should now be quite alone, and have no one left to whom he could speak.
She spoke to him without reserve.
He received every word, and has never forgotten it since.
"13. A few days before she died, after we had been praying with her, we observed she was in tears, and asked her the reason.
She said, 'I feel my heart knit to you, in a manner I cannot express ; and I was thinking, if we love one another now, how will our love be enlarged when we meet in heaven!
And the thought was too much for me to bear; it quite overcame me.'
"14, On Friday she seemed to be just upon the wing: We thought she was going almost every moment.
So she continued till Tuesday.
We were unwilling to part with her, but seemg the pain she was in, could not wish it should continue ; and so gave her up to God.
I sat up with her that night, and the next day, June 7, she fell asleep."
Monday, 31, and the following days, I visited the societies near London.
Friday, Novemser 4. In the afternoon John Downes (who had preached with us many years) was saying,
"T feel such a love to the people at West-Street, that I could be content to die with them. I do not find myself very well; but I must be with them this evening." He went thither, and began preaching, on, "Come unto me, ye that are weary and heavy-laden."
After speaking ten or twelve minutes, he sunk down, and spake no more, till his spirit returned to God.
I suppose he was by nature full as great a' genius as Sir Isaac Newton. I will mention but two or three instances of it:—When he was at school, learning Algebra, he came one day to his master, and said, "Sir, I can prove this proposition a better way than it is proved in the book."
His master thought it could not be; but upon trial, acknowledged it to be so.
Some time after, his father sent him to Newcastle with a clock, which was to be mended.
He observed the clockmaker's tools, and the manner how he took it in pieces, and put it together again; and when he came home, first made himself tools, and then made a clock, which went as true as any in the town.
I suppose such strength of genius as this, has scarce been known in Europe before.
Another proof of it was this :—Thirty years ago, while I was shaving, he was whittling the top of a stick ; I asked, " What
Noy. 1774:] JOURNAL.
are you doing?"
He answered, "I am taking your face, which I intend to engrave on a copper-plate."
Accordingly, without any instruction, he first made himself tools, and then engraved the plate.
The second picture which he engraved, was that which was prefixed to the "Notes upon the New
Testament."
Such another instance, I suppose, not all England, or perhaps Europe, can produce.
For several months past, he had far deeper communion with God, than ever he had had in his life; and for some days he had been frequently saying, "I am so happy, that I scarce know how to live.
I enjoy such fellowship with God, as I thought could not be had on this side heaven."
And having now finished his course of fifty-two years, after a long conflict with pain, sickness, and poverty, he gloriously rested from his labours, and entered into the joy of his Lord.
Tues. 8.—I baptized two young women; one of whom found a deep sense of the presence of God in his ordinance ; the other received a full assurance of his pardoning love, and was filled with joy unspeakable.
Sun. 13.—After a day of much labour, at my usual time, (half-hour past nine,) I lay down to rest.
I told my servants, <T must rise at three, the Norwich coach setting out at four."
Hearing one of them knock, though sooner than I expected, I rose and dressed myself; but afterwards, looking at my watch, I found it was but half-hour past ten.
While I was considering what to do, I heard a confused sound of many voices below ; and looking out at the window towards the yard, I saw it was as light as day.
Meantime, many large flakes of fire were continually flying about the house; all the upper part of which was built of wood, which was near as dry as tinder.
A large deal-yard, at a very small distance from us, was all in a light fire; from which the north-west wind drove the flames directly upon the Foundery ; and there was no probability of help, for no water could be found.
Perceiving I could be of no use, I took my Diary and my papers, and retired toa friend's house.
JI had no fear; committing the matter into God's hands, and knowing He would do whatever was best.
Immediately the wind turned about from north-west to south-east ; and our pump supplied the engines with abundance of water ; so that in a little more than two hours, all the danger was over.
Mon. 14.—In the evening I preached at Bury; Tuesday, D2