From Pitch Dark to Wonderful Light
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord – Eph 5:8(NIV)”
Hindu Vedas and Scriptures also mention about sins, its impact on the mind, life, about hell and heaven and one’s rebirth as per the good and evil deeds done by any one in this birth. Yet people do and continue to do all sorts of evil things and commit various sins without any fear or of conscience. Sometimes they even bribe the Hindu Gods with various offerings and pujas and continue to commit sins feeling satisfied and contended that their sins will be forgiven by the gods due to the offerings made by them. Many are under the impression that penance, offerings or special pujas or doing good deeds will erase the imprints of sins. Once I also believed in it.
When I was serving the Indian Air Force, I was once selected to be one of the organizing committee members of Tambola, one of the gambling pastimes usually played in all the Military establishments. Very soon I smelt something wrong and on close vigil and watch, I could find out the organizers swindling heavy amount through misappropriation and fraudulent means. I pointed out the fraud and told them that I would report this matter to the Authorities.
Initially they refused to accept it and refuted but when I confronted them with the modus operandi they adopted to set aside large portion of the profit for themselves, they accepted but came forward to give me a portion of the loot every week to silence me. I could not help but to fall a prey to that tempting and attractive offer.
In order to suppress my guilty conscience and to seek god’s protection from getting myself caught in the crime, I asked my wife to prepare vada maala (a garland of vada) made out of 108 vada every month as an offering for Aanjaneya (a monkey disciple of Lord Rama) and thus made the god also a partner to my wrong doings and sinful deeds. In addition to this, on every Monday evening I used to observe fasting and do special pujas to Lord Murugan after chanting ‘skanda sasti kavasam’ mantras as a remedial measure to offset the ill effects of my sinful deeds. I also kept away a portion of the bribe amount for going to various holy rivers to have a holy dip to wash off all the sins and to go to many temples to give offerings to various gods. My devotion and faithfulness to these gods did not deter me from doing wrong things or sinful acts. Instead they only served as a remedial measure for the sins already done and to commit further sins. I have seen many people who make god also as a partner to their wrong deeds by making substantial offerings to them from the bribe amount they received. Till my 58 years of age, I had been a god fearing person, read Hindu Vedas and scriptures, sincerely following all the rituals of going to the temples, chanting mantras, having holy dip in rivers, giving alms and free food to the poor. Yet I had been committing all sorts of sins knowingly and I had absolutely no fear to do any wrong things. I really shiver now to think of all my past deeds full of sins. Name any sin, it was there in me. Ego, head weight, envy, finding fault with others, selfishness, revenging attitude, hurting others feelings, telling lies, earnings through illegal and unfair means, having all sorts of pervert and filthy feelings, alcoholism, smoking, tobacco chewing and many more countless sins. All these things existed in me while I was going to temples regularly,
S. THAYAPPAN 75 worshiping the gods daily, chanting all the holy mantras after bath, wearing red cloth, tilak and holy ashes on the forehead and observing all the rituals. These things brought only outward holiness to me: some sort of religiosity. My soul and heart was filled with guilt and filth. But now after coming to Christ, I could feel, understand, realize and repent for all my sinful deeds, thoughts, attitudes and habits. Now I have a fearful faithfulness, a real fear to commit any sin or even to think of it. The Word of God says in Rom 14:12 “Each of us shall give account of himself to God” and “The God will render to each one according to his deeds (Rom 2:6, Ps 62:12, Pro 24:12). I now have a real inner holiness, godliness and sanctification. I feel now that my body, spirit, heart and soul is the temple of the God and I must keep them holy and pure at all times. Apostle Paul says in 1 Cor. 6:19 that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost who is in you whom you have from God and you are not your own”. Now the Lord has filled my life with holiness, peace, humility, sincerity, selfless love for others, compassion for the sick, weak and downtrodden, helping tendencies and with a mind to pray for others. CHRIST HAS MADE ME HOLY! Hallelujah!