The Communicant's Companion (continued)
most want. With what temptations am I most frequently assaulted? Which way does Satan get most advantage against me,—by my constitution, calling, or company? There I most want help from heaven, and strength to double my guard. Am I in danger of being drawn by my outward circumstances to intemperance or deceit, or oppression or dissimulation?
Then sobriety, justice, and sincerity are the graces I most want. What is the nature of the duties I am mostly called out to, and employed in? Are they such as oblige me to stoop to that which is mean? Then self-denial is the grace I most want. Are they such as oblige me to struggle with that which is difficult and discouraging? Then courage and wisdom are the graces I most want. Whatever our wants are, there are promises in the new covenant adapted to them, which, in this ordinance, we must, in a particular manner, apply to ourselves, and claim the benefit of, and receive as sealed to us. If we cannot bethink ourselves of particular promises suited to our case, yet there is enough in the general ones: "I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes." "I will put my law in your hearts," "and my fear," and many such like. And we know who has said, "My grace is sufficient for thee."
2. What comfort do I most want?—What is the burden that lies most heavy? I must seek for support under that burden. What is the grief that is most grieving? I must seek for a balance to that grief. The guilt of sin is often disquieting to me: O for the comfort of a sealed pardon! The power of corruption is very discouraging: O for the comfort of victorious grace! I am often tossed with doubts and fears about my spiritual state, as if the Lord had "utterly separated me from his people, and I were a dry tree:" O for the comfort of clear and unclouded evidences! I am sometimes tempted to say, "The Lord hath forsaken me, my God hath forgotten me:" O that he would seal to my soul that precious promise, "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee!" But my greatest trouble arises from the sense of my own weakness, and tendency to backslide; and I am sometimes ready to make that desperate conclusion, "I shall one day perish by the hand of Saul:" O that I may have the comfort of that promise, "I will put my fear in their hearts, that they shall not depart from me." There is, in the covenant of grace, a salve for every sore, a remedy for every malady, comforts suited to every distress and sorrow; but that we may have the benefit of them, it is requisite that we "know every one his own sore, and his own grief," that we may spread it before the Lord, and may apply to ourselves that relief which is proper for it, and "from the fulness which is in Jesus Christ, may receive, and grace for grace," grace for all occasions.
Here it may be of use to take cognizance even of our outward condition, and inquire into the cares and burdens, the crosses and necessities of it; for even against those there is comfort provided in the new covenant, and administered in this ordinance, "Godliness hath the promise of the life that now is." When Christ was inviting his disciples to come and dine with him, he asked them first, "Children, have ye any meat?" Christ's inquiry into our affairs, directs us to make known before him in particular, the trouble of them. Let every care be cast upon the Lord in this ordinance, lodged in his hands, and left with him; and let our own spirits be eased of it, by the application of that general word of comfort to this particular case, whatever it is, "He careth for you." What is the concern I am most thoughtful about, relating to myself, my family, or friends? Let that way be committed to the Lord, and to his wise and gracious conduct and disposal; and then let my thoughts concerning it be established. What is the complaint I make most feelingly? Is it of a sickly body, disagreeable relations, a declining estate,