The Communicant's Companion
is carrying it on." But if nothing be done towards the suppressing of these rebels, towards the weeding out of these "roots of bitterness which spring up and trouble us," though we lament them, yet we do not prevail against them; it is to be feared we stand still, or go back.
3. Do I find the duties of religion more easy and pleasant to me; or am I still as unskillful and unready in them as ever? Do I go dexterously about a duty, as one that understands it, and is used to it, and as a man that is master of his trade goes on with the business of it; or do I go awkwardly about it, as one not versed in it? When God calls, Seek ye my face; do I, like the child Samuel, run to Eli, and terminate my regards in the outside of the service; or do I, like the man David, cheerfully answer, "Thy face, Lord, will I seek;" and so enter into that within the veil? Though, on the one hand, there is not a greater support to hypocrisy, than a formal, customary road of external performances; yet, on the other hand, there is not a surer evidence of sincerity and growth, than an even, constant, steady course of lively devotion, which, by daily use, becomes familiar and easy, and, by the new nature, natural to us. A growing Christian takes his work before him, and sings at it.
4. Do I find my heart more weaned from this present life, and more willing to exchange it for a better; or am I still loath to leave it? Are thoughts of death more pleasing to me than they have been, or are they still as terrible as ever? If, through grace, we are got above the fear of death, by reason of which many weak and trembling Christians are all their life-time subject to bondage, and can truly say, "We desire to depart and to be with Christ, which is far better," it is certain we are gaining ground, though we have not yet attained.