The Communicant's Companion (continued)
hand. We also are in danger of being deceived, and therefore have need to be jealous over ourselves with a godly jealousy; and being told that many who eat and drink in Christ's presence, will be disowned and rejected by him in the great day, we have each of us more reason to suspect ourselves than the disciples had, and to ask, "Lord, is it I?"
But it especially concerns us to insist upon this inquiry, when we draw near to God in the Lord's Supper. It is children's bread that is there prepared: Am I a child? If not, I have no part nor lot in the matter. I am there to seal a covenant with God; but, if I never made the covenant, never in sincerity consented to it, I shall put the seal to a blank, nay, to a curse.
Therefore, that I may discover, in some measure, what my spiritual state is, let me seriously inquire,
1. What choice have I made?—Have I chosen God's favor for my felicity and satisfaction, or the pleasures of sense, and the wealth of this world?
Since I came to be capable of acting for myself, and discerning between my right hand and my left, have I made religion my deliberate choice? Have I chosen God for my portion, Christ for my master, the Scripture 'for my rule, holiness for my way, and heaven for my home and everlasting rest? If not, how can I expect to have what I never chose? If my covenant with the world and the flesh (which certainly amounts to a covenant with death, and an agreement with hell,) be still in force, and never yet broken, never yet disannulled, what have I to do to take God's covenant, and the seal of it into my mouth? But if I have refused Satan's offers of the kingdoms of this world, and the glory of them, and given the preference to the gospel offer of a kingdom in the other world, and the glory of that, I have reason to bless the Lord who gave me that counsel, and to hope that he, who hath directed me to choose the way of truth, will enable me to "stick to his testimonies."