Widows and the Sick
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[rrr.I6 myself from serving in this capacity? And even yet I have not made all my points to you; I have still more to say. So do not lose patience with an intimate friend who wants to convince you that he is clear of your imputations. For what
I say will not only be of service to you in my defence but will probably afford considerable help towards your own exercise of the office. For anyone who is about to enter upon this walk of life needs to explore it all thoroughly beforehand and only then to undertake this ministry. And why?
Because if he studies the difficulties beforehand he will at any rate have the advantage of not being taken by surprise when they crop up.
2. Widows and the Sick Would you like us, then, to pass on next to the superintendence of the widows, or the charge of the virgins, or the difficulties of the judicial work? For in each of these there is anxiety of a different kind and more danger than anxiety.
First, to begin with what appears to be easier than the rest, the ministry to the widows seems to involve those who are in charge of them only in responsibility of a financial nature. But this is not so. On the contrary, here, too, close scrutiny is needed when they are enrolled. Entering their names carelessly and casually has led to untold troubles.
They have wrecked homes and broken marriages and often been detected stealing and procuring and committing other disgraceful offences like these. To support women like that from Church funds brings down vengeance from God and utter condemnation from men, and discourages those who want to do good. For who would ever choose to spend the money which he is commanded to give to Christ on those who bring Christ's name into dishonour. That is why it is necessary to make a long and precise scrutiny, to prevent
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those whom I have described, as well as those who can provide for themselves, from plundering the table of those who cannot.
After this scrutiny there follows another big anxiety: to see that the means for their support should pour in abundantly, like water from a spring, and never fail. For involuntary poverty is an insatiable evil, querulous and unthankful. Great wisdom and plenty of energy are required to take away all occasion for complaint and stop their tongues wagging. When people see anyone superior to avarice, they at once point him out as suitable for this administration.
But I do not think that honesty by itself is enough. You must look for it first of all, since without it a man will be a spoiler rather than a guardian and a wolf instead of a shepherd.
But you must look for the possession of another quality as well, and that is forbearance, the source of all human blessings, which guides the soul to anchorage and escorts it into a fair haven.
I Widows, as a class, owing partly to their poverty, partly to their age, and partly to their sex, use an unbridled freedom of speech-to call it no worse! They scold out of season and find unnecessary fault and lament what they ought to be thankful for and criticize what they ought to welcome.
The man in charge of them must bear it all politely and not be provoked by their inopportune fussing or their unreasonable complaints. For persons of this kind deserve to be pitied, not insulted, for their misfortunes. And it would be a mark of utter cruelty to take advantage of their misfortunes and add to the pain of poverty the pain of insult.
That is why a very wise man, observing the avarice and indifference of human nature, realized the terrible characteristic of poverty, that it debases the most generous soul and often teaches it to lose all shame on such matters. And so,
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[m.16 to prevent anyone being angry when solicited by them and becoming their enemy when he ought to be their helper, because provoked by continual entreaty, he instructs us to be gentle and accessible to the needy, saying: "Incline thine ear to a poor man without grieving and answer him with peaceable words in meekness." 1 And ignoring those who provoke a man in distress-for what can you say to such sinners ?-he speaks to anyone who can bear another's infirmity, urging him to help him up by kind looks and gentle words, before making a gift. If anyone should not actually take what is theirs but should load them with reproaches and insult them and be exasperated by them, he not only fails to relieve the desperation of poverty by his gift, but aggravates its misery by his abuse. For even if they are compelled by sheer hunger to be all too brazen, they are still hurt by this necessity. So when they are forced to beg by fear of starvation, and to be brazen by their begging, and are insulted because of their brazenness, the force of despondency which attacks them comes subtly and casts a deep gloom over them.
Whoever is in charge of them should be so long-suffering that, far from increasing their despondency by his own irritation, he actuaIIy soothes most of it away by his sympathy.
For just as a rich man insulted forgets the benefit of his wealth through the pain of the insult, so one of these who hears a kindly word and receives a gift offered with sympathy, brightens up and is happy. The gift is doubled by the very manner of giving. I say this, not of myself, but on the authority of the writer whose advice I have quoted already.
"My son," he says, "to thy good deeds add no blemish, and no grief of words in any of thy giving. ShaH not the dew assuage the scorching heat? So is a word better than a gift.
1 Ecclus. 4.8.
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Lo, a word is better than a gift; and both are with a gracious man." 2
The guardian of these people must be not only just and forbearing, but also a good steward. For if this quality is missing, the money of the poor is again exposed to equal risk of loss. Before now it has happened that someone entrusted with this ministry, and having collected a lot of money, has not wasted it on himself, but has not spent it on the needy either, except for a few; he has hidden and hoarded most of it until bad times have come and betrayed it into the hands of enemies. Much foresight, therefore, is needed to prevent the resources of the Church either piling up or running short. It is better to distribute all that is subscribed among the needy quickly and to lay up treasure for the Church in the good will of the congregation.
1 .
But what a lot of expense and care and thought, on the part of those in charge, is required for hospitality to strangers and the care of the sick! This is never less, and often more, than the expenditure I have already mentioned. The man in charge must be a discreet and shrewd treasurer, so as to encourage the wealthy to emulate one another and to give cheerfully of their substance. His object is to provide for the relief of the sick, without scourging the souls of the contributors. And here he must show outstanding forbearance and concern. Sick men are hard to please and given to languor.
Unless every attention and care is lavished on them, the smallest neglect is enough to cause the patient great distress.
3. Virgins As for the care of virgins, the anxiety is all the greater in proportion as the treasure is more precious, and this group is more like the Church's princesses than any other. Before 2 Ecclus. 18.15-17.
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[m.I7 now great numbers of women, full of innumerable vices, have intruded into the ranks of these holy ones. The grief for failure, too, is greater here. Just as it is not the same thing for a free-born girl and her servant to fall into sin, so it is not the same for a virgin and a widow. For it has become unremarkable for widows to gossip and to vilify each other and to flatter and to lose their self-respect and to be seen everywhere and to loiter about the market-place. But the virgin has prepared herself for a greater prize and devoted herself to the highest philosophy. She professes to display on earth the behaviour of the angels, and has the task of managing the concerns of such disembodied spirits while still living in the flesh. She must not walk abroad unnecessarily or often. She may not speak at all without good reason. She should not even know the meaning of abuse or flattery. And so she needs the closest watch and the greatest support. For the enemy of holiness is always marking them down and stalking them particularly, in readiness to swallow up any who stumble and fall-as do the many men who plot their downfall, and, to crown all, their own passionate natures.
They have to arm themselves against a double attack, one launched from outside and the other mounting from within.
And so their guardian has much anxiety and still more danger and distress, should anything undesirable happen
(which God forbid !).
For if a daughter is "a secret cause of wakefulness to her father"/ and his care for her makes him lose sleep through his great anxiety that she may be barren or pass her prime unmarried or be hated by ber husband; what will a man feel whose anxiety is over none of these dangers, but others far greater than these? For here it is not a man who is disgraced, but Christ himself. And here barrenness does not just
3 Ecclus. 42 .9. g8
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bring reproach, but the trouble ends in the soul's destruction.
"For every tree," he says, "which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down and cast into the fire." 4 And if she is hated by the Bridegroom, it does not suffice to take a bill of divorcement and depart; but for that hatred he gives the punishment of eternal torment.
A natural father has many things that make it easy to watch over his daughter. For a mother and a nurse and plenty of maids and the security of the house help a father to guard the girl. She is not allowed to be perpetually dashing into the market-place. And when she does go, she is not compelled to show herself to anyone she meets, since the dusk of the evening conceals her no less than the walls of the house, if she does not want to be seen. And, apart from this, she is not answerable for herself, and so is never compelled to come into the presence of men; for neither concern for the necessities of life, nor the insults of wrong-doers, nor anything else like that, makes any such encounter necessary for her, since her father represents her in all capacities. But she herself has one care only: not to do or say anything unworthy of her proper modesty.
I But in the case of a virgin, there are many circumstances that make it difficult, or rather, impossible, for her spiritual father to protect her. He cannot keep her at home with himself, since it would not be decent or safe to live together like that. For even if they themselves take no harm, but continue to keep their chastity undefiled, they will have to answer for the souls they lead astray, no less than if they had actually sinned against each other. Now since this arrangement is impossible, it is not easy to discover the shifts of her spirit, to check all that tends to disorder, and to train and improve all that is well-ordered and regular. Nor 4 Matt. 3. 1 0.