The Difficulty Of The Priesthood
II1.6]
THE DIFFICULTY OF THE PRIESTHOOD
IF IT is true that those who are entrusted with civic government subvert their cities and ruin themselves as well, unless they are wise and very watchful, what about the man whose task is to adorn the bride of Christ? How much strength in himself and from above do you think he needs to avoid complete failure?
No one loved Christ more than Paul; no one showed more earnestness than he; no one was endowed with more grace.
Yet for all that he went in fear and trembling for his authority and those who were under it. He says, "I fear lest, as the serpent beguiled Eve, so your thoughts should be corrupted from the simplicity which is towards Christ." 1
And again, "I was with you in fear and in much trembling." 2
Yet he was a man who had been "caught up to the third heaven",3 and shared in the unspeakable things of God,4 and endured "deaths'" every day he lived after his conversion.
He was a man who did not want to use the authority given him by Christ in case one of the believers should be offended.6
If, then, one who did more than he was commanded by God and never aimed at any advantage for himself, but only for those under his direction, was always in fear, because he kept in view the magnitude of his responsibility, what will become of us, who often aim at our own advantage, and, so far from doing more than we are commanded by Christ, for 12 Cor. 11.3.
4Cf.1I Cor. IlI+ 2 I Cor. 2.3. s 2 Cor. 1[.23.
J 1I Cor. IlI.lI.
6 I Cor. 9.12.
THE DIFFICULTY OF THE PRIESTHOOD
[III.7 the most part actually break his commandments? "Who is weak", he says, "and I am not weak? Who is made to stumble, and I bum not?" 7 That is what a priest should be like; or rather, not just like that, for even that is little or nothing in comparison with what I am going to say.
And what is that? "I could wish," he says, "that I were anathema from Christ for my brethren's sake, my kinsmen according to the flesh."8 If anyone can say that; if anyone has a soul capable of that prayer, he would be to blame if he evaded the priesthood. But anyone who falls as far short of that standard as I do, deserves hatred, not for evading but for accepting it.
If it were a question of choosing someone for a generalship, and those responsible for conferring the honour dragged forward a coppersmith or a cobbler or some other workman of that sort, and tried to put him in charge of the army, I should not congratulate the poor man for not running off and doing all he could to avoid pitching himself into inevitable disaster.
If it is enough simply to be called a "shepherd of souls" and to undertake the work anyhow, without risk, blame me for vainglory if you like. But if, on the contrary, the man who accepts this responsibility needs great wisdom and, even before wisdom, the grace of God in good measure, and an upright character and a pure life, and more than human goodness, then do not withhold your forgiveness from me because I do not want to damn myself without rhyme or reason.
Suppose someone brought a merchant ship of great tonnage, fully equipped with rowers and loaded with valuable freight, and sat me at the rudder and told me to cross the Aegean or the Tyrrhenian Sea, I should jump off at his first
72 Cor. 11. 1I9.
8 Rom. 9.3.
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THE DIFFICULTY OF THE PRIESTHOOD
words. And if anybody asked me why, I should say, "To save sinking the ship 1" When it is only money that is at stake, and the risk is at most of bodily death, no one will blame a man for looking well ahead. But where the fate of the shipwrecked is to fall, not into the sea, but into the abyss of fire, and what awaits them is not the death which separates soul from body, but the death which consigns both together to eternal punishment, will you be angry with me and hate me for not throwing myself headlong into such a calamity? I beg and beseech you not to. I know how weak and puny my own soul is. I know the importance of that ministry and the great difficulty of it. More billows toss the priest's soul than the gales which trouble the sea.
First of all there is the dreadful rock of vainglory, more dangerous than the Sirens' rock of which the poets have marvellous tales to tell. Many have had the strength to sail past this rock and escape unscathed. But to me it is so dangerous that even now, when no necessity is driving me towards its cleft, I cannot keep myself untainted by the terrible thing. If anyone entrusted this charge to me, he would be as good as binding my hands behind my back and delivering me to the wild beasts that inhabit that rock, to savage me every day. And what are those beasts? Anger, dejection, envy, strife, slanders, accusations, lying, hypocrisy, intrigue, imprecations against those who have done no harm, delight at disgraceful behaviour in fellow priests, sorrow at their successes, love of praise, greed for preferment
(which more than anything else hurls the human soul to destruction), teaching meant to please, slavish wheedling, ignoble flattery, contempt for the poor, fawning on the rich, absurd honours and harmful favours which endanger giver and receiver alike, servile fear fit only for the meanest of slaves, restraint of plain speaking, much pretended and no
THE DIFFICULTY OF THE PRIESTHOOD
[111.9 real humility, failure to scrutinize and rebuke, or, more likely, doing so beyond reason with the humble while no one dares so much as to open his lips against those who wield power. All these wild beasts and more are bred upon that rock. And people who are once seized by them cannot help being dragged into the kind of servitude which makes them do over and over again, even to please women, things that are too bad to mention.
The divine law excluded women from this ministry, but they forcibly push themselves in, and, since they can do nothing personally, they do everything by proxy. They have got such power that they appoint and dismiss priests at will.
Topsy-turvy (you can see the truth of the proverb borne out) "the followers lead their leaders"-bad enough, if they were men; but they are women, the very ones who are not even allowed to teach. Do I say "teach"? St Paul did not allow them even to speak in church.1I But I have heard it said that they have assumed such freedom of speech that they even rebuke the prelates of the churches and upbraid them more bitterly than masters would their slaves.
But do not let anyone think that I am bringing these charges against all the clergy. Many there certainly are who have escaped these entanglements-more indeed than those who have been caught in them. And I do not venture to blame the priestly office for these evils. God forbid that I should be such a fool! Wise men do not blame the knife for murder, nor wine for drunkenness, nor strength for insolence, nor courage for recklessness. No; they blame the men who make wrong use of the gifts of God, and punish them for it. The priestly office might well accuse us of not handling it rightly. It is not itself the cause of the evils I have mentioned. It is we on our part who have smirched it
II 1 Cor. 14.34.
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THE DIFFICULTY OF THE PRIESTHOOD
with stain upon stain, by entrusting it to commonplace men.
And they eagerly accept what is offered to them, without first examining their own souls or considering the gravity of the matter. And when they come to exercise this ministry, their eyes are blinded with inexperience and they fill the congregations entrusted to them with a thousand and one troubles.
That was the very thing that all but happened to meanly that God quickly rescued me from these dangers, in mercy on his Church and on my soul. Tell me, where do you think all the disorders in the churches originate? I think their only origin is in the careless and random way in which the prelates are chosen and appointed. For the head ought to be the strongest member, in order to be able to control the evil exhalations which proceed from the rest of the body, and regulate them properly. But when it happens to be weak in itself, it cannot ward off those infectious attacks, becomes weaker than it naturally is, and destroys the rest of the body along with itself. To prevent this happening in the present instance, God has kept me safely in the category of "feet" -where I originally belonged!