Part IV: The Fourth Commandment.
PART IV: THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT OF THE DECALOGUE
§ 143. The Fourth Commandment is: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God will give you” [Exod. 20:12]. It has two parts: the command and the promise. The command is: “Honor your father and mother”; the promise: “that your days may be long upon the land.”
“Father.”
(1) No one doubts that the appellation “father” signifies the one by whom we were begotten. By attributing this name also to others, however, the Holy Spirit shows us the true explanation of this commandment. You see, all of these are called “fathers”: one’s ancestors (John 6:58), teachers of the church (2 Kings 13:14; Gal. 4:19), instructors (2 Kings 2:12), magistrates (Gen. 41:43), lords (2 Kings 5:15), older men (1 Tim. 5:1), guardians and caretakers (John 19:26), patrons (Job 29:16), and artisans and masters (Gen. 4:20[–21]). Therefore all of them are included in the Fourth Commandment.
(2) Although God intended to establish that all superiors in general should be honored in this commandment, nevertheless there is a clear mention of parents because the fellowship of the household [oeconomica societas] is the foundation of the political state [politia]; because this appellation admonishes magistrates, instructors, lords, and all superiors to show a paternal attitude toward the subordinates who have been committed to their trust and care; and most especially because the fatherly prerogative requires a special affection. This is why the first place in the Second Table of the Law is given to parents, because they should be honored and regarded as second only to God.
“And mother.”
(3) Mother is added to father, lest she be taken lightly because of her sex’s feebleness and the weakness of her judgment. Ecclesiasticus 7:[27]: “Forget not the sorrow of your mother.”
“Your.”
(4) The commandment does not say simply “Honor father and mother,” but adds “Honor your father and your mother.” Those words [“your”] show the reason for this commandment: so you will honor father because he is your father by whom you were begotten and reared; so you will honor your mother because it was not without great pains and difficulties that you were brought into this life by her. Philo says (De special. legg., p. 489): “Those who have brought children into life are likenesses and images of the divine Power.”
(5) No condition is added as to what sort of parents should be honored. It simply says, “Honor your father and your mother.” In the end they must be honored regardless of their character because they are your parents. Whoever honors his parents because they are rich, esteemed, and powerful is not so much honoring the parental prerogative as he is the riches, esteem, and power that is in them.
“Honor.”
(6) The command is to honor parents. In Hebrew this is 
, which implies the magnitude and excellence of the person or thing about which it is speaking. Not only are parents owed honor but also love, fear, obedience, etc. However, the all-wise Lawgiver includes all of these with the one word “honor.” For whoever truly honors his parents from the heart will also love them, fear them, and give them due obedience.
(7) Finally, because the command to honor parents is placed in the Second Table, this clearly shows that though parents are indeed owed honor, obedience, and love, nevertheless God is owed the greater honor, obedience, and love because He is “the Father of spirits” (Heb. 12:9), “from whom all fatherhood in heaven and on earth is named” (Eph. 3:15).
“That your days may be long upon the land.”
§ 144. The promise added to the command promises long life to the obedient. “Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long.” In the Hebrew it reads: “that your days may be prolonged” (or may prolong themselves) “upon the land which the Lord your God will give you” [Exod. 20:12].
(1) This promise accuses the corruption of our nature of only obeying God by honoring our parents when a reward is promised, even though nature itself dictates that we should honor those who gave us life. Mal. 1:6: “Should not a son honor his father?” Valerius Maximus (Memorab., bk. 5, ch. 4) says, “The first law of nature is that we should love our parents.”
(2) This promise shows how highly God values honoring parents. The apostle lays this out in Eph. 6:2: “Honor your father,” (etc.), “which is the first commandment with a promise.”
(3) Note also the fairness of the promise and the wisdom of the Lawgiver in making it known. “For whoever honors his parents honors the authors of his physical life. Therefore it is right that he enjoy this life for a long time,” says Lyra (commentary on this passage).
(4) This promise is presented in Eph. 6:3 as “that it may be well with you and that you may live long” because longevity without prosperity and happiness is bothersome, not welcome.
(5) In this promise there must be a distinction between the specific and the general. That which is designated as the land of Canaan is specific and pertains to the Israelites alone. Therefore the holy apostle omits that section in repeating the promise and says simply (Eph. 6:3): “that it may be well with you and that you may live long upon the land.”
(6) Although the promise that is attached to this command is a bodily one, promises of the life to come are not thereby excluded, but, as the apostle declares (1 Tim. 4:8), “godliness” (which is no small part of honoring and revering parents, since the specific mention of godliness is assumed whenever [honoring] is denoted) “has rewards for the present life and also for the life to come.” Therefore explanations of this promise should be gathered from other passages of Scripture, and from these it will become obvious that not only bodily but also spiritual rewards, not only terrestrial but also heavenly and eternal rewards await those who show due obedience to God in honoring their parents.
(7) Long life is promised in the land which the Lord God will give. This is a tacit admonition that the Israelites should think that the occupation of the Promised Land came to them from God. Therefore it is right that in that land they show due obedience to God’s commands, especially since God has reserved for Himself the right to take back that promised country from the Israelites, if they choose not to be mindful of His commands.
The virtues required in the Fourth Commandment.
§ 145. From these foundations one can gather what the virtues of the Fourth Commandment are. The aim and scope of the commandment is the preservation of the household fellowship and political society in the mutual responsibilities of superiors and inferiors. Inferiors are ordered to honor superiors, and the latter are denoted by the word “parents.” Therefore the following rule is given to superiors: that they show themselves as parents to inferiors in deed and behave themselves so that their inferiors may think honorably and reverently toward them. To inferiors this rule is given: that they honor their superiors, where the word “honor” includes all of the responsibilities due to superiors.
The office of parents.
The noun “parents” properly and especially means “fathers of the flesh” (Heb. 12:9), whose office in Eph. 6:4 is directed to these three main things:
(1) “To bring up their children,” to provide for them as regards food and clothing, and to defend them against injuries. Matt. 7:9: “What man of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?” 1 Tim. 5:8: “Whoever does not provide for his household is worse than an unbeliever.” 2 Cor. 12:14: “Parents ought to lay up treasures for their children.” Here applies the fact that parents are bound to provide for their children regarding an honorable craft by which to support themselves eventually, a spouse, etc. Basil (commentary on Psalm 7): “It is the responsibility of parents to gather up for their children so that, besides having brought them into this life, they may also provide their means for living.”
(2) They should instruct their children in the true knowledge of heavenly doctrine or hand them over to others for instruction, for the knowledge of God is not with us by birth but must be instilled in young minds. Here applies the fact that parents are obligated to take their children with them to their temples48 and to send them off to schools.
(3) They should govern them at home with discipline. Prov. 22:15: “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction drives it far away from him.” Prov. 23:13: “Do not withhold correction from a child.” (Cf. Prov. 29:17.) The duties of guardians and caretakers who succeed to the place of parents are the same.
The following things conflict with these aspects of the parental office: (a) Not seeking nor supplying necessities to their children. The apostle calls this “not providing for the members of one’s household” [1 Tim. 5:8]. Also, not protecting them against injuries, not applying them to their chores or to honorable work, etc., and bringing them up in luxury. Plato would say, “It is the end of the city, if the children in it wear purple.” (b) Not training their children in true doctrine or not giving them over to others for such training; corrupting them with the example of a wicked life; recounting the sins of one’s youth before his children. (c) Neglecting discipline at home, which the wise king calls “sparing the rod” (Prov. 13:24); overlooking the sins of one’s children with preposterous indulgence or not using due moderation in punishment; becoming angry or raging against one’s children for any reason. The apostle calls this “being provoked to anger” (Eph. 6:4). Also, using excessive severity against them; estranging their minds with overly harsh treatment; cursing them terribly—for sometimes these curses bring about their own effect by the just judgment of God, as we see from examples in Lazius (Geneal. Austriac., bk. 2) and Camerarius (Succis. hist., part 1, ch. 86). “I believe it is better to keep hold on one’s children with decency and generosity than with fear,” says Micio in the comic [Terence].49
The office of children.
§ 146. The office of children is to honor their parents, namely, “in word, deed, and patience” (Ecclesiasticus 3:8). Therefore this requires:
(1) Inner reverence that acknowledges that parental authority is divinely instituted. Eph. 6:1: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord”; acknowledge that God has established and commanded this.
(2) Outward honor and reverence in words and behavior, since those whom we regard with honor and reverence we [will] also honor outwardly. Ecclesiasticus 3:6: “Whoever fears God honors his parents in his speech.”
(3) Love, which goes along with reverence and proceeds from a high regard for the benefits received from one’s parents. Matt. 10:37: “Whoever loves father or mother more than Me,” etc.
(4) Obedience, which is part of honor, since we obey the commands of those whom we truly honor from the heart. Eph. 6:1: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord.”
(5) Forbearance [ἐπιείκεια] that patiently tolerates parents’ faults and shortcomings. This also stems from the true and sincere honor that is owed to parents. Ecclesiasticus 3:[7]: “He who fears the Lord honors his parents with patience.”
(6) Gratitude, which is also required for such honor. By this gratitude “repayments” are given “to the parents,” as the apostle explains (1 Tim. 5:4). The Greeks have a very beautiful word for this and call it ἀντιπελαργίαν and ἀντιπελάργησιν [“cherishing in return”] because “old storks50 that are too weak to fly stay in the nest while their young fly over land and sea to bring back food for their parents,” as Philo writes (De decal., p. 483).
Therefore the following conflict with the duties of children: (a) Not recognizing divinity [τὸ θεῖoν] in one’s parents; not regarding them as in the position to which they have been divinely appointed. (b) Showing them no reverence in words or behavior. (c) Bestowing hatred upon them; not acknowledging the benefits that God gives us through them. (d) Disobeying parents, hurting them, striking them, stealing from them, marrying without their consent, or even obeying them in godless and illicit matters. (e) Mocking parents, criticizing their shortcomings, and treating them with disrespect. (f) Returning no gratitude to them; not supporting them when they are afflicted with age and helping them as best as one can; etc.
The office of teachers and students.
§ 147. We shall speak about the duties of magistrates and their subjects in a special chapter in their own commonplace [On Political Magistracy (Commonplace XXVII), §§ 161–65, 471–76, and passim].
Through comparison with what has been said above, one can easily deduce what the duties are of schoolteachers [praeceptores] to their students, of masters to their servants, of ministers to their hearers, and of all superiors in general to their inferiors; and, in turn, what the duties are of inferiors to their superiors. Schoolteachers should have a parental attitude toward their students because they are the true parents of their students’ minds. In turn, students should treat their schoolteachers with filial love and reverence. Quintilian (Instit., bk. 2, ch. 10): “I give this one admonishment to students, that they should love their schoolteachers no less than their studies and should believe that they are parents not of their bodies but of their minds. Such devotion gives much to study.” Regarding the duties of masters, commands are given in Ecclesiasticus 7:21; 33:[28–29]; Col. 4:1; Eph. 6:9; etc. Regarding the duties of servants, see Col. 3:22; Eph. 6:5[–8]; 1 Pet. 2:18; etc. Regarding the elderly, see Titus 2:2[–5]. Regarding the young, see 1 Tim. 5:1; Titus 2:6; 1 Pet. 5:5.
Whether illegitimate children are obligated to obey their parents.
§ 148. (I) Here the question arises: Are illegitimate children [spurii] also obligated by this commandment to honor their parents?
We respond. It is clear that illegitimate children suffer great disgrace because of their parents. Under Hebrew civil law they were not permitted to enter the assembly (Deut. 23:[2])—that is, they were not permitted to administer any public office, either civil or ecclesiastical. By [Roman] civil law they are prohibited from succeeding their father, so much so that they could not even ask him for living expenses ([Corpus Iuris Civilis,] l. ex complexu, C. de incestis nuptiis). As a result, such parents could be deemed undeserving of love. However, because the bond of nature and the tie of blood still remain, it is right for such children to overlook the injustice of their parents and do those things which are required of their office. Rungius writes (on Exodus 20): “After all, if the Christian religion commands us to forgive an injustice committed by our neighbor, how much more ought we express this love to our parents?”
When parents should be hated.
§ 149. (II) The question arises: Since we are commanded to honor our parents, why and in what sense does Christ say (Luke 14:26): “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother,” etc., “he cannot be My disciple”?
We respond. Christ did not come “to abolish the Law” (Matt. 5:17). In fact, with clear language He explains and urges the law about honoring parents against the corruptions of the Pharisees (Matt. 15:4[–6]). Therefore Christ’s words in Luke 14:26 do not abolish but determine the limits of the honor and obedience that is due to parents, namely, that in a case of confession we must put honor of God ahead of honor of parents. “Hate” does not denote a hostile feeling, but rather admonishes us to place our love for the heavenly Father ahead of our love for our parents. You see, in the Hebrew it is typical to use verbs and nouns at times instead of negating the opposite. Thus one is said to hate who does not honor or obey. Christ Himself supplies this explanation of His own words in Matt. 10:37: “Whoever loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me.” Ambrose writes (on Luke 12): “We must love a parent, but we must put the Creator first. We should not love the benefit more than the benefactor.” The fact that the apostle commands us to “obey our parents in the Lord” (Eph. 6:1) pertains to this, not only because of God’s command but also that we may obey God rather than our parents (Acts 5:29).
Whether long life should be considered a benefit.
§ 150. (III) The question arises: Can long life really be considered a benefit and reward since this life is hardship and grief? Would it not rather be a benefit to be freed of it more quickly?
We respond. Of course one cannot deny on the whole that what Nazianzen writes is true (Orat. funebri de fratre Caesar.): “A longer span of life brings us to see, endure, and commit more evil.” Those who are prematurely transferred to true life in heaven by the hand of death do dispense with such evils quickly, but this [is good] from accident whereas long life is in and of itself a gift of God promised to the godly as a reward. You see, even though the godly are indeed subjected to various calamities in this life so that in this way the lengthening of life seems like a prolongation of calamities, nevertheless under the cross they experience the presence and help of God. In fact, they know that “the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed” (Rom. 8:18). Therefore they even “boast in their afflictions” (Rom. 5:3), since they “rejoice in hope” (Rom. 12:12). Also consider that the calamities of this life are eased for the godly; that they invite others to the true doctrine by their confession and the example of their life; that they are increased and strengthened in the knowledge of heavenly truth; and that they enjoy manifold bodily and spiritual benefits from God. Eternal life is the greater good, yet longevity of this life does not cease to be good. Therefore in 1 Tim. 4:8 the rewards of this life and of the life which is to come are connected, so that we may be admonished51 to wait for the good things of this life to such an extent that we then have a greater reason for awaiting the good things of eternal life. The people of Israel were usually given earthly promises to teach them the Law, but in the New Testament it is heavenly gifts that are especially promised. In both instances, however, in both the Old and New Testaments, the statement of the apostle holds true: “Piety has rewards for the present life and for the life to come” [1 Tim. 4:8].
Why obedient children sometimes do not live long.
§ 151. (IV) The question arises: How can long life be promised as a reward to obedient children, given that sometimes obedient children do not live long, but disobedient ones, on the other hand, do enjoy long life?
We respond. On this matter [some] theological rules must be followed. The promises of bodily blessings should be understood with the exception of chastisement and the cross. Also, the greatest rewards and punishments are put off for the Day of Judgment yet to come. When premature death befalls devout and obedient children, it is not an indication of divine wrath but rather a sign of overflowing grace. Wisdom 4:7: “Even if a just man dies before his time, he will still enjoy rest.” Verses 10–11: “Because he pleased God, he was dear to Him, and while living among sinners, he was taken up. He was taken up so that wickedness might not alter his mind,” etc. Consequently, to some it serves as a benefit that they are “taken in peace so that their eyes do not see that evil which God brings upon the earth” (2 Kings 22:20; Isa. [57]:1–2). On the other hand, if wicked and disobedient children are cut off from the land of the living, Ps. 55:23 has its place: “Men of blood and treachery shall not live out half their days.” Prov. 20:20: “If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be extinguished in utter darkness.” Prov. 30:17: “The eye that mocks a father will be picked out by the ravens of the brook.”
However, for the wicked there are two reasons why it is evil and unwelcome to die prematurely: first, because they are deprived of the pleasures of the flesh to which they have surrendered themselves; and, second, because they are carried off the more quickly to eternal punishment. On the other hand, there are also two reasons why it is good for the devout to leave this life early: first, they are freed from the miseries of this life; and, second, they are transferred to true peace and happiness.