Abbot Adalard to Hildegard
The Letters
Cologne (St. Martin)
Abbot Adalard to Hildegard Before 1169 The writer pleads with Hildegard to beseech God to console him in his troubles, which are too dreadful and appalling to believe.
To the lady Hildegard, beloved of God, Adalard, unworthy servant of St Martin in Cologne, with a prayer that she enjoy the paradise of eternal bliss after the course of this present life.
Lady, dear lady, beloved and blessed by God as it is truly believed, I know that all the things performed through you by God's might are indeed true and holy. And I am assured that you can obtain whatever you ask of God, as faithful men have asserted in all truth. Therefore, I am, as far as I dare, confident enough to ask you, saintly lady, to implore God to be merciful to me, a sinner, so that He might deign to give me some kind of consolation in my struggle with my problems. Beyond belief, "my spirit is in anguish within me" and "my heart within me is troubled" [Ps 142.4], because of the things that I have been suffering now, alas, for many years, and especially now, as a result of my sins.
And no one can know except God unto whose eyes "all things are naked and open" [Heb 4.13]. I know that God alone is cognizant of the things that confront me, things that no mortal man could believe, since they are so unusual and unbelievable. Therefore, through the grace of the Holy Spirit, Who works with you and protects you, I pray that whatever hope He deigns to reveal to you concerning me, you will report in detail, just as it is, back to me in writing, through the good offices of this most reverend lord abbot, for he has promised to do this for me.
Venerable lady in Christ, how I wish that I had been able to come into your saintly presence and discuss these matters with you face-to-face. For I believe without doubt that you can fully expound these matters that I have kept completely secret until now. What do I say? Through the teaching of the Scriptures and the tenets of the Christian faith, I know that no one clothed in flesh should despair of God's mercy. Led by this hope and knowing that God is clearly with you, I have presumed to impart the causes of my grief to you in this letter. And I believe that I will be consoled by you in some way, and, if such is indeed possible, this is what I pray for most earnestly.
May Christ, your Bridegroom, hold you long in His embrace.