2. Unlock Keychain Leadership
2. Unlock Keychain Leadership
Sharing Power with the Right People at the Right Time
Our pastor has been transformed by Jesus, and now he’s the definition of authentic. In fact, he’s the most authentic person I know. And he doesn’t treat us like we’re kids. . . . He treats me like I’m his younger friend. —Mark, age 23
Remember your first set of keys?
Stephen—who goes by “Stretch”—received his first set of keys when he was 16. His town handed him a driver’s license, and his parents handed him the key to the family car. Heart pounding with excitement, he climbed behind the wheel and pulled out of his driveway for the first time on his own. Stretch couldn’t believe the newfound freedom and responsibility he had been given. He took a step away from childhood and a step closer to adulthood.
As Stretch pulled onto the street and began to accelerate, he faced an important and practical question. Where should I go? Within a moment he knew the answer. Over the past several years, his church had become like a second home to him. There he felt known, accepted, and valued. So naturally, he headed in that direction.
As he drove into the parking lot, the church’s childcare was wrapping up for the day. One of the coordinators who knew Stretch noticed him driving the car. Given a recent shortage of childcare workers and seeing that he now had transportation, she asked if he was interested in helping after school.
She was only halfway through the question before Stretch knew his answer. He would get to hang out at the church, spend time with kids, and on top of it all . . . he would get paid. This day couldn’t get any better!
Until a few minutes later, when she returned from the church office and handed him a key to the church. “If you’re going to help us, there will be times when we’ll need you to lock up,” she explained.
Stretch was staring so intently at the key that he barely heard her words. The pastor had this key. His Sunday school teacher had this key. Other adults who were mature—who had power—had this key. But him? It was like he had been waiting on the sidelines during the big game and was now being called to step onto the playing field.
Life was truly as good as it could be. Until it got even better.
A week later, while Stretch was working in the childcare center, the youth pastor dropped by. “You know, Stretch,” he said, “if you have your license and are already at the church, would you be willing to stock the soda machine for me? The job comes with all the Mountain Dew you can drink.”
Key to the car. Check.
Key to the church. Check.
Key to the soda machine. Check.
Stretch knew he had arrived.
Later that night, Stretch received the final “key” that forever changed the course of his life. Standing alone in the empty church, he heard God speak to him—not audibly but distinctly.
“You like to be here, don’t you?” God asked.
“Yes, I do,” Stretch answered.
“Well, get comfortable, because you’re going to be here a lot.”
From that day on, Stretch knew that both his future and his vocation were closely tied to church ministry. Leaders he deeply respected had entrusted him with access and authority by giving him keys, both literally and figuratively. In the several decades that followed, others continued to entrust him with the keys of leadership, and he’s now been a youth pastor for over 20 years. Today Stretch, his senior pastor, and the culture of Immanuel Church of the Nazarene exemplify a powerful kind of leadership pervasive in churches and parishes that grow young—a type of leadership that can unleash the limitless potential of young people and infuse your entire congregation with new life and energy.
CORE COMMITMENT: UNLOCK KEYCHAIN LEADERSHIP
Churches that grow young are brimming with staff, volunteers, and parents who demonstrate keychain leadership. Whoever holds the keys has the power to let people in or to keep people out. Keys provide access to physical rooms, as well as to strategic meetings, significant decisions, and central roles or places of authority. The more power you have, the more keys you tend to possess.
When we refer to keys, we mean the capabilities, power, and access of leaders that carry the potential to empower young people.
By keychain leaders, we mean pastoral and congregational leaders who are
• acutely aware of the keys on their keychain; and
• intentional about entrusting and empowering all generations, including teenagers and emerging adults, with their own set of keys.
Beyond simply the launching of a student leadership team, keychain leadership is a spirit and commitment demonstrated by both paid and volunteer leaders that permeate every area of the church.
How Keychain Leadership Helps Your Church Grow Young
Like so many teenagers and emerging adults we studied, Stretch moved from being a satisfied participant to a contributing partner once keychain leaders gave him the right keys at the right time.
But we know it’s not always that simple.
If you’re on staff with a church as a senior pastor, executive pastor, associate pastor, family pastor, or youth pastor, you are doing incredible—and hard—work. We know because all three of us have served on pastoral staff for churches in California, Kentucky, and Michigan. In every church we served, we (like you) were sometimes given and other times had to earn keys—both literally and metaphorically.
As a pastoral leader, you may physically unlock the church doors early in the morning or lock them long after sunset. Even if you’re not the one unlocking the church doors, perhaps week after week you invite all generations to take up the keys of leadership, but the only ones willing to work are the same group of volunteers.
Maybe there are keys you were given or earned, but they no longer grant you the access you need to get the job done. Instead of trusting you or listening to your perspective, dozens of congregational voices advise you about how best to lead. The majority of the time their input is helpful, but at times you feel like they are critically pointing out where the church should be heading or loudly wondering why your ministry is not as large or exciting as the church down the street. You’re supposed to be the one with the keys, but at times it feels as if someone has changed the locks without telling you.
The great news is that you’re probably already closer than you think to keychain leadership. This chapter (and indeed this entire book) can support what you’re already doing by reducing the guesswork, removing the guilt, and helping you return to what you loved about ministry in the first place. With just a few intentional decisions, you can add new keys to your keychain, better understand why some doors won’t seem to open, and increase your ability to pass off keys to others.
If you’re a ministry volunteer, member of a leadership team, or parent, the number of keys on your church leadership keychain might be fewer than for those on staff. In reality, other leaders may make the primary decisions for your church and you’re not always sure how to shape those discussions. You might think this means you’ll have less impact on helping your church grow young or that your church can’t grow young unless the head pastor or overall church leadership team is on board.
Think again.
Notice in Stretch’s story that the first people to give him a set of keys were his parents and the childcare coordinator. Our interviews uncovered that keychain leaders can be found in any area of the church—from a college student working in the nursery to a 90-year-old church secretary. The three of us and our spouses have served in multiple roles, from volunteer small group leader to church chairperson, and we’ve seen this truth firsthand. Whether you’re reading this book because you don’t want your church to die or because your own life is ignited by the passion of young people, you can unleash the power of these leadership concepts in any and all facets of the church.
No matter your role, here is what we want you to know: if you are willing to entrust your keys to young people, they will trust you with their hearts, their energy, their creativity, and even their friends. Yes, it can sometimes seem like more work than it’s worth—but if you give them your access, you have the opportunity to touch a whole generation.
Research Findings
The “Priesthood of All Believers” Doesn’t Mean Leaders Are Absent
Because we so value the priesthood of all believers, we began our research somewhat hoping that we wouldn’t find a leadership-driven solution. We initially theorized that maybe churches that grow young share such collaborative leadership that it might be difficult to identify who was the clear leader. Our hunch was wrong.
Both leadership in general and specific leaders were mentioned in every stage of our research as principal contributors to churches that grow young. When pastoral leaders were asked to describe what accounts for their success with young people, the highest response (mentioned by 48 percent) was church leadership. Church leadership ranked ahead of worship style, emphasis on social justice, and utilizing the latest technology.
The priesthood of all believers is a term commonly attributed to the sixteenth-century German theologian and Reformer Martin Luther. When we use it, we are referring to the idea that all Christians are “priests” and are called to serve God meaningfully (see 1 Pet. 2:9). The implication is that those who attend churches need not passively watch while one qualified leader dominates. In fact, the priesthood of all believers doesn’t mean there are no leaders—just that leadership, in the church and especially with young people, is different than many people think. All people have an important voice and responsibility. Everyone has gifts to contribute to make the church complete (1 Cor. 12:1–31).
Congregation members were even more likely to attribute their church’s effectiveness to leadership. Over 77 percent highlighted leadership, using statements like:
I chose this church because of the leadership. (Jerome, age 21)
The biggest thing is our ministers. They are excellent and that has helped more than anything. (Karen, parent)
There is a commitment to young people at our church, but our youth pastor is the secret sauce. (Jim, elder and youth ministry volunteer)
What Makes Keychain Leadership Unique
Why call it keychain leadership? Aren’t there already plenty of popular leadership mantras or models to draw from?
We’ve coined the term keychain leadership because it is different from many popular and recent leadership paradigms.1 While every leader has keys on their key ring, not every leader uses those keys in the same way. Some leaders cling to their keys tightly and refuse to share them even for a moment, but keychain leaders model a posture of giving away access and authority. This posture not only empowers others but also meaningfully links them to the life of the congregation.
Based on our research, we’ve identified four types of key leadership ranging on a continuum from key-less leaders to keychain leaders.
Key-less leaders: Often young and inexperienced, without much authority or access, these leaders spend their time proving they’re worthy to possess keys. This could be a high school student ready to volunteer in the children’s ministry—full of potential and passion as he begins his leadership journey. It may also represent an older congregant who feels as though she lost access to keys—and her voice in the church—a decade or two ago.
Key-hoarding leaders: Always holding the keys and refusing to give others access, they run the show. This might include an outgoing, extroverted ministry leader who draws a crowd through sheer personality and ends up driving away others who offer to help (we won’t ask you to name any names but would wager you could name a few leaders in this category pretty quickly).
Key-loaning leaders: Often taking keys off the keychain and letting others borrow them temporarily, they make sure the keys are returned quickly. One example might be a pastor of a fast-growing church plant who knows the contribution of others is important—but also believes others won’t do as good of a job as he or she will.
Keychain leaders: Very aware of the keys they hold, they are constantly opening doors for some while training and entrusting others who are ready for their own set of keys. This could be a long-standing senior leader, associate pastor, or trusted volunteer who young people, staff, and congregation members turn to for advice or to be sharpened in their ministry skills. Everyone seems to get better when this leader is involved, and a long list of people can point to this leader as the reason they serve in the church today.
When comparing keychain leadership to some popular models of church leadership, you might wonder if it is easier or requires less skill. We think the exact opposite. The leaders we’ve studied don’t share the keys of leadership with others because they are less talented or visionary. These capable leaders have a keen sense for where God is leading but leverage their strengths for the good of the overall church. They understand that young people like Stretch don’t want to sit passively on the sidelines but are drawn to churches and leaders who help them get in the game.
However, sharing leadership with others will likely be more challenging (at least in the short term) than leading alone. When my (Jake’s) wife, Lauren, and I moved to the pedestrian-friendly town of Pasadena, we decided that we could get by with one car instead of two. While that has simplified life in some ways, it has also made it more complicated. We share the same set of keys, so when each of us drives, we have to adjust the seats, mirrors, and more. Lauren and I also have to coordinate schedules closely, because if we miscommunicate, one of us may end up stranded. Similarly, sharing the keys of leadership requires constant adjusting, staying in touch, and being willing to persevere even if someone feels stuck. This is complicated enough with two experienced drivers but becomes even more complex when journeying with a young person who is a driver in training. While keychain leadership requires close collaboration and hard work, the long-term payoff of growing your church young is worth it.
“There is just no escaping the fact that the single biggest factor in determining whether an organization is going to get healthier—or not—is the genuine commitment and active involvement of the person in charge.”2 —Patrick Lencioni, management expert
In the following pages, we reveal the six essentials of keychain leadership that dominated our research. Toward the end of the chapter, we shed light on several “ideas for action” that can be contextualized to empower your church to unlock keychain leadership—whether you’re just beginning that journey or are miles down the road.
Keychain Leaders Are Mature . . . Not Always Young
I (Kara) was recently sharing our research about effective leadership with a pastor who pushed back: “Now really, tell me the truth. Don’t all young people want a hip 25-year-old pastor who rides a motorcycle and sports the latest fashion? If I want my church to grow young, I’ll need a bunch of young leaders, right?”
Wrong.
At least in most cases.
While there is certainly some value in having young leaders who can connect with young people, it’s not the whole story. When interview participants from our study were asked why their church is effective with young people, only 1 in 10 mentioned having younger leaders. Further, when asked why they stay involved in their church, almost no one talked about how their leaders or their overall church is exclusively young. In fact, many of the teenagers and emerging adults interviewed wish they had more connection with those in older generations. Although in theory it might be fun for a teenager to learn to drive a car from their friends without licenses, most we talked to seemed to understand that it’s better to learn from a more experienced driver.
When keychain leaders were asked how they had moved from being a key-less, key-hoarding, or key-loaning leader to keychain leadership, they often shared that their maturity was born out of difficult personal and professional experience, failure, and other struggles. No keychain leader we met acquired or learned to use their set of keys overnight, even when that wasn’t apparent to others. Indeed, keychain leaders needed someone to teach them to drive, to entrust them with the car, and yes, to forgive them and continue to instill confidence even after a few wrong turns.
For example, the pastor of a fast-growing church of young professionals in Washington, DC, shared how he grew up as a Baptist missionary kid in Kuwait and Liberia and was once held hostage during the Persian Gulf War. While his family’s focus overseas in Liberia was ministry with the poor, his dad eventually took a job as a pastor in an affluent suburban church in the US. Understandably, the son found it difficult to navigate the contrast between his previous world of risk and poverty and his new world of comfort and plenty. Later in college, his worldview was stretched even further when two charismatic inner-city pastors (one white and one African American) mentored him, a white 20-year-old. They eventually helped him learn how to balance a life of privilege with the surrounding brokenness. This DC pastor shared how these wildly contrasting experiences (along with pastoring an African American church in the inner city of Boston for five years) formed him to read the needs in his context and speak to people from varied backgrounds. Such diverse interactions proved the perfect preparation for leading a church that is both growing young and changing its community in our nation’s capital.
Keychain Leaders Are Real . . . Not “Relevant”
Picture a 50- or 60-year-old pastor purchasing a hip and trendy new wardrobe to mimic the clothing styles that most twenty-somethings wear today. While the attempt to relate to a younger audience is admirable, is that sort of style change needed to help congregations grow young? The good news is that it’s not.
Pastors everywhere can leave their skinny jeans at home.
When parishioners were asked why they attend their church, many talked about the qualities of their leaders. Of those who did so, only 13 percent focused on how their leaders are relevant, while 87 percent talked about authenticity or other qualities unrelated to relevance. Further, surveys completed by leaders show that a pastor’s transparency in decision making is positively related to both vibrant faith in young people and measures of church health. In other words, the more transparent the leader is personally and the church is organizationally, the better positioned the church seems to be to grow young.
The implication is that young people like Stretch aren’t looking for leaders who frantically change their wardrobe or their lingo in order to connect. Young people want leaders who are honest and comfortable being themselves. Keychain leaders understand that this younger generation has a sixth sense for authenticity and intuitively knows whether or not leaders are genuine.
Metro Community Church, a multiethnic church in New Jersey that was planted about 10 years ago, understands this well. Talking about her pastor, a 22-year-old college student said, “The main draw is how transparent our senior pastor is. It’s the only church I’ve ever been part of where the pastor shares how he feels and even shares his mistakes. This helps you feel like you can come in your brokenness and can walk with people when they’re going through stuff without any judgment.”
First United Methodist Church, a large church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, has also tapped into young people’s desire for leaders who are real. Prior to our team’s visit, we interviewed several people who spoke highly of one pastoral leader in particular. While in Tulsa, sitting across the table from him, we eagerly asked what advice he would offer to pastors who want to strengthen their ministry with teenagers and emerging adults.
We were prepared to walk away with insightful programming ideas or perhaps something about the need for a robust theological education. Maybe even some great quotes from John Wesley, the eighteenth-century pastor and theologian whose teaching gave rise to the Methodist Church.
Instead, this 30-year ministry veteran paused, lowered his voice a bit, looked at us intently, and advised, “Don’t neglect your heart. Spend time in the Word, pray, and let God speak to you. Carve out time each day for this, listen to wise people, and take the long view.” There was no air of false spirituality here. As researchers, we were struck by this leader’s willingness to ruthlessly shelve the daily tasks of ministry in order to stay centered in Jesus and vital relationships. As a result, the pastor’s visible love for people, spiritual depth, and authenticity were mentioned by nearly every young person we talked to at the church.
Keychain Leaders Are Warm . . . Not Distant
It is possible to be real from a distance but still not connect in relationship. While teenagers and emerging adults might sometimes project that they have their act together or want complete independence, those we met desperately want keychain leaders who understand them, mentor them, and personally hand them keys as they’re ready. When young people were asked what made their church effective, 43 percent pointed to the relational nature of their leaders, specifically that they were caring, accepting, or enjoyable to be with. Being relational doesn’t mean leaders jettison their boundaries and try to be a “best friend” to everyone in their congregation. But it does mean that leaders are approachable and genuinely care and connect.
In chapter 5, we’ll further explore the concept of warmth. While it stood out as a core commitment of the whole church community, warmth was also named as a distinct characteristic of keychain leaders.
Being a warm leader doesn’t mean being a pushover. In our first interaction at an African American congregation near Chicago’s Hyde Park neighborhood, we were surprised by the pastor’s gruffness with teenagers during a church basketball game. He almost didn’t let one of the boys play because he arrived a few minutes late. Then the pastor threatened to end the game early after a minor argument broke out over a foul. But when we witnessed the teenagers, some of whom come from broken homes or have been involved in gangs, verbally push back and joke with him in a friendly manner, we realized this leader’s firmness matches his context.
In our interviews with teenagers afterward, they told us how this same pastor sometimes calls them out from the pulpit for wearing their pants too low or using their phones in church. But his actions don’t offend them, because he has a relationship with them. The pastor regularly spends time in their world outside the church walls, treats them with respect, and demonstrates that he cares about them as individuals. It also didn’t hurt when, during a high school Bible study, he made a striking analogy linking mistakes, NBA all-star LeBron James, grace, and the Trinity. We were pretty impressed too.
Warm leadership is not limited to churches of a particular size; we found it alive and well in churches both large and small. During our visit to Trinity Church, a 5,000-attendee Assemblies of God congregation in Miami, nearly everyone mentioned the relational warmth of the church and attributed this tone to the pastors. When we asked these pastors how they relate to so many people, they shared that it starts with a commitment to be with people rather than remain cloistered in an office.
“I really believe that the leaders are investing in our kids not for any other type of outcome than simply to get to know them and learn who they are. And that seems to resonate with them. They know that they are truly being cared for, and that opens them up to listen to the gospel. They are not preached at in a condescending manner or given a set of rules to follow. They are just loved on.” —Andrea, parent
Beyond this, they strategically invest in other leaders who carry the relational load. As one example, every Monday nearly 100 core volunteers and staff gather for a chapel service that includes worship, testimonies, a devotional, birthday celebrations, and prayer for the congregation. Rather than try to connect with thousands in the same way, these keychain leaders strategically infuse this smaller group with a relational warmth that spreads to the rest of the congregation.
While young people may be able to find great preaching online, many told us they’re aching for more than that. They want to be in relationship with leaders who know their name and model a life of faith. These young people look to Christian leaders in their community and ask, “Are you the real deal?” and then watch closely to see the answer.
As eloquently stated by Dr. Virginia Ward, a research advisor to our project and Director of Leadership and Mentored Ministry at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, “Effective leadership is about much more than just the sage on the stage.”
This was demonstrated at a predominantly Asian church overflowing with teenagers and young adults. Person after person shared that the Bible is taken seriously in this church and that the pastor is the linchpin of that emphasis. Hearing that, we anticipated this pastor might spend the majority of the week in his office crafting a perfect sermon for Sunday morning or making sure small groups are set up just right.
Once we spent time with the congregation, it was evident that the preaching and programming were important. But instead of the pastor sequestering himself in his office, he spent almost the entire weekend with a group of 25 church leaders on an intensive discipleship retreat. Most of the leaders were under age 30. These retreats take place two or three times per year and are an opportunity for the pastor to inspire church leaders with what matters most. Rather than being spent discussing the church calendar or other business items, retreats are dedicated to utter honesty and vulnerability about each person’s faith journey. The pastor models a life of faith through relational warmth rather than just talking about it. As a result, their church continues to grow young.
Keychain Leaders Know What Matters to People . . . Not Just to Other Pastors
While many pastors are good listeners, they often find themselves influenced the most by their peer group—other pastors. In many ways this makes sense, as their closest friendships may have been developed in seminary, the books they read are often written by other pastors or theologians, and most training they attend also involves other church leaders. The downside is that this can leave some leaders disconnected from what matters most to those in the pews.
Robert Wuthnow, a leading sociologist of religion from Princeton University, asserts that clergy do not focus on the issues that matter most in the everyday lives of their congregants; instead, they talk about culture wars and minute distinctions of doctrine.3
To avoid this disconnect, the keychain leaders in our study value, and regularly practice, listening to their congregants in order to understand what matters most. This helps them develop an adept understanding of which doors to unlock and when to give away particular keys. It also informs how they lead, preach, and structure ministries. Instead of adding more and more activities to their already busy calendar, these leaders strategically prioritize listening to congregation members of all generations.
Keychain Leaders Entrust and Empower Others . . . They Don’t Try to Be a “Superpastor”
Perhaps the most important choice that moves a leader from key-loaning to keychain is that of entrusting and empowering others. All too often a mythical but popular church hero, the so-called Superpastor, interferes with the development of this carefully honed skill.
If you’re a ministry leader, you know about the Superpastor (picture Superman or Superwoman, but then add a Bible). In too many churches, this is who the congregation expects their pastor (and youth pastor, and children’s pastor, and fill in the blank with most any pastoral or volunteer role) to be.
A Superpastor is a key-hoarding leader who never shares the keys of leadership with others because they believe others are not as capable. Donning their metaphorical capes, Superpastors are pressured to be (or maybe believe they are) faster than the nearest church board, more powerful than the rest of the pastoral team, and able to leap over pulpits in a single bound.
“I think we have produced a generation of leaders who are preaching the gospel, but they forget that they are dealing with people. This does a disservice to the gospel because it results in people not leading well.” —Tyler Reagin, president of Catalyst
All kidding aside, perhaps there’s been a time when you’ve pressured your own pastor to be a Superpastor. Or maybe there’s a lot of pressure on you now to be the Superpastor.
While hints of a Superpastor are common in churches and parishes nationwide, churches that grow young tell a different story. When we asked hundreds of leaders what accounts for their effectiveness with young people, over 30 percent mentioned that they entrust young people with opportunities to lead and contribute. This was one of the highest responses, behind only a focus on relationships, prioritizing young people, and the overall church culture (each of which will be further analyzed in future chapters).
One nondenominational church of over 1,000 members in the Northeast understands young people like Stretch don’t just want to fill space. They want to be given keys to responsibilities that matter and make a difference. Every fall, the church celebrates its volunteer small group leaders through a commissioning service. Rather than patronizing or “honoring” them with a certificate or token gift, the pastor passionately shares how they are the “real pastors” of the church. Last year, he went so far as to claim the church would get by just fine without him, but the doors of the church would close if these volunteers ever went away. The small group leaders shared with our team how meaningful the experience was and that they’ll gladly sacrifice their time and energy to lead again.
“The leadership style of our pastor has had a big impact on younger generations that have come out of dysfunctional churches, myself included. We’ve all been at the place where we’ve said, ‘I will never step foot into church again.’ But because of the patience, love, and mutual trust of our pastor, we have become a sanctuary for those people.” —Peter, age 26
When we interviewed parishioners in other churches growing young, they described their pastoral leaders as being generally competent in their responsibilities, or what some participants named as “good enough.” These leaders typically don’t hit a homerun in every area of their job. While they are outstanding in maybe one or two areas, they develop enough competence in the rest to get by. That doesn’t mean the church settles for mediocrity. Rather, these leaders focus on building a team of other capable leaders who have strengths that they lack. As a result, the appropriate keys are taken off one leader’s keychain and given to the leaders best suited for particular roles or responsibilities.
Further, when interview participants were asked why they stay involved with their church, only 1 in 20 pointed to a particular leader. The implication is that while your leadership is likely critical for a few areas of the church, you don’t have to be the Superpastor who is the face of every event, agrees to every invitation to meet in person, or continually reaches out on social media.
How are churches ditching the Superpastor syndrome and sharing the keys with young people? While most leaders don’t want to clutch all the keys to their church and be a Superpastor, several told our team that it often feels like the only option to move forward. Reflecting on this conundrum, we’ve found Lee Bolman and Terrence Deal’s work on leadership frames helpful in understanding how to share keys and with whom.
Bolman and Deal define a frame as “a mental model—a set of ideas and assumptions—that you carry in your head to help you understand and negotiate a particular ‘territory.’”4 Formed by our unique experiences, these frames influence what we see—and don’t see—in our church.
Leaders in any role often default to one frame that feels most natural, causing confusion or frustration when others don’t “get it” or see things their way. This makes it hard to share keys and easy to conclude they should just lead on their own.
Consider how one (or more) of the following frames might describe the way you understand and use the keys of leadership.5
The structural frame views the church primarily through its roles and responsibilities. Church leaders operating out of this frame might see themselves as the CEO of the church. They can be task oriented rather than people oriented, eager to develop plans and assign roles. At one multisite church we visited, the small group pastor gave a 10-minute description of the leadership structure, volunteer training, and curriculum selection process for the church’s exceptionally well-run small group ministry. She is heavily oriented toward the structural frame.
The relational or human resource frame understands the church primarily through personal relationships, or like a family comprised of individuals with distinct skills, feelings, and needs. Church leaders operating out of this frame might picture themselves like a mother, father, or best friend. They want to get to know people and do life together. During our visit to a multigenerational church, nearly every teenager and emerging adult talked about Arthur. Arthur had recently been to their basketball game, dance recital, or some other activity. When we interviewed Arthur, a grandfather in his seventies, he expressed the joy he feels by making sure young people know they matter. He operates out of a relational frame.
The symbolic frame views the church primarily through its stories, rituals, sermons, and spiritual practices. Church leaders operating within this frame might picture themselves like a sage, prophet, or spiritual guide. They want to spend time discussing theology or otherwise focusing on the deeper meaning of the work of the church. When we interviewed the senior pastor of a church that was nearly 150 years old, he somehow ended up answering every question by telling us a story—most often a story from Scripture. This pastor is strongly oriented toward the symbolic frame.
Each of these frames has obvious strengths and weaknesses when it comes to church life. Imagine your church board or leadership team discussing the future of your congregation and creating a plan for growing young. Someone who lives in the structural frame will likely want to lay out a step-by-step process or examine the potential impact on the church’s budget. Someone from the relational frame might contemplate how the process will make people feel or if it will result in deeper personal connections. Another leader operating in the symbolic frame might want to know how the decision fits theologically or might even cast a compelling vision of what the future could look like if the church grew young.
These three perspectives can evolve into meetings and ministries marked by a beautiful diversity or meetings and ministries that devolve into an ugly mess. Further, if a majority of your church tends too much toward any one particular frame, the other two may be neglected and your church could end up unbalanced (in fact, you might be thinking about how it’s unbalanced right now). Instead, the best teams intentionally incorporate leaders from each frame, while the best leaders learn to be good enough in their less natural frames.
Awareness of these frames and the ability to apply each at the right time can enable your church to ditch the Superpastor syndrome and effectively share the keys of leadership with young people like Stretch. To help you gain this awareness, we’ve provided several reflection questions on pages 75–76.
Keychain Leaders Take the Long View . . . Not Shortsighted Steps
Across the board, our surveys, interviews, and church visits all highlighted the importance of consistent and long-term leadership—in both the youth ministry and the overall church. In particular, our analysis of surveys found a positive relationship between the longer senior pastors served at a particular church and overall church health.
That makes sense given that moving from key-less, key-hoarding, or key-loaning to keychain leadership simply takes time, especially in youth and emerging adult ministry. Young people are already going through significant developmental changes in their friends, schools, and physical bodies. Relationships at church have the potential to be a rare constant. One volunteer from a church in Michigan shared, “In fifth grade, we pair students with leaders, taking into account the school that they attend or where they live. Then we put them in a group to ideally stay with the same kids and leaders through high school so they have long-term care.”
The impact of the long view is not limited to youth ministry. Bonnie, a senior adult from Volga Christian Reformed Church, a small congregation in rural South Dakota, shared how a tumultuous period of pastoral transition began with several interim pastors who each stayed less than two years. When they hired their current pastor, Bonnie passed by his house and noticed he was planting asparagus. “Asparagus can take three years before it produces a crop!” she explained. “Once he did that, we knew he was here to stay.”
Later in the visit, we interviewed this pastor and asked him about the asparagus. Laughing, he affirmed it has become an iconic moment in his congregation. While he didn’t originally mean to make such a statement, he noticed a tangible difference in the congregation’s trust in him.
Overall, preaching was not mentioned nearly as often as we anticipated in parishioners’ descriptions of why or how their church was growing young. When we asked what keeps people involved in their church, preaching was only the sixth highest response (mentioned by 12 percent of people). This was far behind the top responses related to personal relationships, the general sense of community within the church, activities such as small groups and retreats, respondents’ personal involvement, and a sense of calling or loyalty.
This data does not lead us to conclude that preaching is unimportant. During our 12 site visits, we experienced a range from excellent to “good enough” preaching skills but no bad preaching. Our hunch is that even though young people don’t highlight preaching as a magnet that draws them to church, bad preaching could easily repel them.
Having said that, we wonder if sermon preparation and preaching is an area in which some leaders could invest less time. While we hold the Word of God with the highest value and respect, we believe that verbal proclamation is one (albeit one very important) form of expression. Given that young people are especially dialed in to relationships, might your time crafting a gospel-centered community be worth as much attention as preaching? Could you perhaps exhibit keychain leadership by sharing the pulpit and training other (maybe younger) teachers and preachers? After all, young people who want top-notch preaching can download sermons from amazing communicators nationwide. But they can’t download a vibrant community.
While long-term pastoral leadership is usually preferred, churches that grow young manage to thrive even in the midst of senior leadership transitions. This health seems to stem from senior leaders sharing the keys with congregation members and church board members, thus developing a leadership team that stays consistent even when pastoral staff leave.
Ideas for Action
What follows are practical ideas for action that you can implement as you unlock keychain leadership. Please keep in mind that not every idea will apply to your church or your particular role. Please also remember that we are not suggesting any church try all (or even most) of these ideas—the last thing we want is to overwhelm you with an overly long to-do list. We provide multiple ideas because every church is different, and it takes a team of leaders to grow young.
As you review this part of the chapter, perhaps make notes in the margin about
• whether or not the particular idea is a fit for your church;
• if you should implement it now or later; and
• if the idea might best help you or another leader in your church (if the latter, write down that person’s name so you’ll remember to share the idea with him or her).
Aim for two or three ideas that you want to act on now. Then at the end of the chapter, you can answer strategic questions to guide your church toward a specific plan to unlock keychain leadership.
Evaluate Your Own Keychain Leadership
In order to share the keys of leadership, your first step is to make sure you are aware of the keys you actually hold. Whether you serve in a paid or volunteer role, begin by looking at your job description—if it has actually been updated in the last five years! (If not, that might be step one.)
Working with or without a job description, list your major responsibilities in a single column. Then in a second column, note whether you hold the keys to that area, have shared the keys to that area, or have given away the keys to that area. For those responsibilities in which you hold or share the keys, consider whether it is possible for you to train someone and hand over the keys, or if it’s an area you absolutely must hold on to (at least for now). Circle your next few key-sharing goals. You might even take a step further by seeking feedback from one or two trusted leaders about how well you share the keys of leadership.
Evaluating your own keychain leadership also means asking why you have keys in the first place. Examine your own theology of leadership by meditating on or discussing relevant Scripture passages (possibly with your leadership team). Spend time reflecting on powerful scriptural examples including Exodus 18:1–27; Joshua 1:1–18; 1 Samuel 8:1–22; Jeremiah 1:4–19; John 13:1–17; 15:1–17; 1 Corinthians 12:1–31; Ephesians 4:11–16; and Philippians 2:1–18.
Conduct a Young Leader Assessment
Instead of starting with the keys you hold, a second strategy is to start with actual young people. In the spirit of helping your church grow young, list teenagers or emerging adults who already hold, or could receive, the keys of leadership in your congregation. Like Stretch, many of them may never have received a set of keys and are simply waiting to be entrusted.
For each person, write out the type of key (meaning the area of responsibility) that might fit them based on their skills, gifts, or passions. Then write out potential next steps you could take to help them get ready to handle each particular key. After you try this exercise on your own, invite other volunteers, staff, Sunday school teachers, or leadership groups to join you in dreaming about the future potential of your church’s young people.
Ditch the Superpastor and Find Your Frame
As your church contemplates how to help leaders move away from the Superpastor syndrome and share keys with young people, ask these three questions based on the description of frames on pages 69–70.
In which frame am I most comfortable? This is likely the area in which you are best positioned to identify and equip young people with their own keys. Rather than throw young people into difficult situations before they’re ready, one church leader who operates in a relational frame and excels at leading small groups invites specific young people to spend time learning alongside him. Bit by bit, he gives them increasing levels of responsibility until they’re ready to lead a group on their own. Another very talented preaching pastor who is most comfortable in the symbolic frame intentionally preaches only three Sundays each month so that he can provide regular speaking opportunities to younger leaders.
Which frames are least natural for me? These are the domains in which you need to identify other leaders who can take the keys and provide leadership. If particular ministries or your overall church is lacking particular frames, consider how you might invite one or multiple volunteers to lead (or even hire someone) to provide greater balance. Sharing the keys with leaders from another frame may be uncomfortable and will require both determination and a heavy dose of listening. As you build partnerships, encourage these leaders to identify young people with great promise in those particular frames whom they can train.
How can I grow in my less natural frames? Just because you may not feel comfortable in a particular frame does not mean you can ignore it. Most church leaders need to develop threshold competencies (meaning they need to be “good enough”) in multiple areas. Perhaps make a list of the areas in which you know you need to develop a threshold competency but aren’t quite there yet. You could ask another leader (inside or outside your church) who is strong in that area to coach you. We’d love to be able to suggest a comprehensive list of the areas in which keychain leaders need threshold competencies and a second list of areas in which excellence is required. However, we found it varies based on your context and unique role, which means it’s critical to listen to and know your congregation.
Make Sure Young People Are Trained before Giving Them Keys
If you’ve ever asked a young person to house-sit while you were on vacation, you probably didn’t completely pass off the key until you knew they were ready for tasks like watering the plants or feeding and walking the family dog. Chances are good that you guided them through your house, taking the time to clarify any area of confusion. No way would you hand over the key to your home until that young person was trained.
The same is true with your church. Even more so.
Once you’ve done the work of identifying your leadership frames, envision how you and your church can invest in developing young leaders. Is there a training plan to make that vision a reality? Is there a specific line item in the budget to make it possible?
Over this next year, implement a few of the following methods for training the young people on your team:
• Read through a book together. Select a strategic topic that’s relevant to your team and spend one hour each month discussing it.
• Invite a young person to preach or lead a small group and help them craft their sermon or lesson.
• Send a promising young church leader to seminary. That person doesn’t even have to leave your community. Multiple online education options allow your team members to stay in their current roles while sharpening their skills.
• Ask young leaders in your church about an area in which they’d like training. Then invite an expert from that field (maybe even someone who attends your church) to lead the training. For example, if young people want to learn more about communication, there may be a professor or business executive in your congregation with relevant insights to share.
• Partner with several churches in your area to host a staff or volunteer training together. Maybe even bring in a nationally recognized expert on a particular topic and invite more organizations and churches in your community.
• Create an internship program. Several churches in our study offered one or a handful of young people opportunities to serve through volunteer, part-time, and full-time internships.
Conduct a Time Inventory
Sometimes our picture of how we spend our time isn’t just blurry; it’s plain wrong.6 In order to get an accurate understanding of time usage, our Fuller Youth Institute team has benefited greatly from conducting time inventories.
Begin by dividing your responsibilities into logical categories (for example, prayer and Bible study, sermon preparation, relationship building, meetings, event planning, and administrative tasks like answering email).
Second, spend at least one week tracking your time, allocating every hour to those categories.
“One of the things that I tell all of our small group leaders is that if you want to build community, it is going to take vulnerability. If you as a leader model vulnerability, then people will be more comfortable sharing their own lives with each other. So anytime I preach, anytime I counsel, anytime I share, I share the yuck and the muck of my life that God has had to cleanse.” —Jayme, small groups pastor
Third, look at the total amount of time you spend in each area and compare that to how your time would ideally be allocated. Perhaps pay special attention to time spent in administrative activities as well as investing in people.
What changes could you make in your time allocation to become more of a keychain leader?
When It Comes to Vulnerability, Go First
Our observation of keychain leaders is that it’s often not what they say that matters most but what they do. In your next staff or volunteer meeting, consider how you might be able to set the pace in a crucial aspect of keychain leadership: vulnerability. Given young people’s desire for authentic leadership, steps toward vulnerability will likely render you an even more attractive leader. Here are a few discussion questions to help you and your team members swim into deeper relational waters:
• What’s the biggest answer to prayer you’ve seen in the last year? What prayer have you been praying this last year that God hasn’t answered quite as you had hoped?
• What’s been one of your biggest failures? How has God used that failure to shape you?
• When have you been disappointed with God? What do you usually say or do when you’re feeling disappointed with God?
• As you envision the future of your church, what’s one aspect that most excites you? What’s one area that causes stress or triggers fear?
Don’t Surprise Your Supervisor
As we explored the relationship between the pastor and the youth and young adult leaders in churches that grow young, trust emerged as a key theme. The youth pastor trusted the pastor’s heart and intentions, and the pastor trusted the youth pastor’s judgment. This trust made it easier to share keys.
When leaders were asked for the biggest piece of advice they would offer a youth or young adult pastor, they consistently highlighted, “Don’t surprise your pastor.”
Obviously, we’re not talking about secret birthday parties. When youth and young adult leaders anticipate problems, have already experienced problems, or are trying to make a major judgment call or ministry decision, it’s wise to involve their supervisor as soon as possible. While this seems like common sense, we were disheartened by how many leaders, even in churches growing young, shared negative surprises that had come their way because their staff chose not to involve them early enough. It made these leaders want to take back any keys they had ever entrusted.
Whether you are a church staff member or volunteer, we recommend you talk to your supervisor to better understand their preferences. Ask if they’ve been negatively surprised in the past or if they have any advice about how you might be able to make their job easier or improve communication in the future.
Go Beyond Self-Help
The lead pastor of an Evangelical Covenant church confessed that a turning point in his keychain leadership was when he realized that he couldn’t gain the emotional health he wanted on his own.7 He needed professional help. So he started regularly meeting with a professional therapist.
Given how therapy helped him, this senior pastor now encourages the rest of the church staff to pursue short-term counseling. As one of the other leaders at this church shared, “This is the healthiest church staff I’ve ever worked with!”
Several leaders from the church mentioned that they had in fact never set out to reach young people exclusively but just wanted to build a healthy church. However, as a result of this newfound health, hundreds of young people began flocking to this congregation.
Consider Your Relational Capacity
How many close friends do you have in your church?
When participants in our study were asked this question, several asked for clarification of the word friend. They pointed out that if we were talking about Facebook friends, they would give one answer, but close friends would yield a different answer.
Church leaders are often expected (and often feel pressured) to maintain a high number of relationships. One recent Fuller Seminary study sought to understand the relational capacity of ministry leaders and how that relates to burnout, trauma, and ministry effectiveness.8 According to the research, ministry leaders have some unique friend dynamics—including a smaller total friend network than the average person, which results in less overall support.
The best data suggests the ideal relational network is four to five close and supportive friendships and at least 12 (but not more than 15) relationships with people we consider good friends. Given that pastors are often spread relationally thin, it’s challenging for them to maintain these deeper relationships so essential for holistic health.
Evaluate the breadth and depth of your relational network by making a list of close and supportive relationships and of good friends you have currently. If those numbers are lower than the data recommends, set a meeting with one person in your “close and supportive” list. Ask for help working on a plan to strengthen your relational ties.
Close the Gap on Social Distance
A primary focus on close, personal relationships does not mean you need to distance yourself from the members in your congregation you don’t know as well. The keychain leaders we observed do whatever they can to eradicate social distance. For example, the pastor of First Baptist Church of Chicago makes himself available to his congregation by playing basketball and spending time in church members’ homes. Other church leaders are intentional about being near the exit doors of the church after the worship services conclude so they can greet people personally. Another church leader hosts regular dinners in her home and invites church members.
Please hear us clearly. We are not saying that you need to be “all access, all the time” and eliminate your personal boundaries. We’re also not saying that all of your close relationships should be formed within your church.
What we are saying is that Jesus, our example in life and leadership, made time to be with people. We’re invited to lead the same way.
Take a hard look at your schedule over the next two weeks. How much of your time will be spent in your office, and how much of your time will be spent with people? What are one or two activities you could add (or more likely, substitute for administrative tasks) so you could be with people? Perhaps it’s spending time with a neighbor, gardening with a church member, setting a regular lunch meeting, volunteering at your kids’ school, or signing up for a sports league. Whatever fits your lifestyle and context, put it on the calendar today.
Stay Connected as a Staff
Keychain leaders recognize that people share keys best when they know and trust one another. In one church growing young, the pastoral team facilitates this through a standing monthly meeting in which the only agenda item is to have lunch together. No business. Just sharing life over sandwiches and salads.
At another larger church, every staff member has a regular 15-minute meeting with the senior pastor. While the pastor doesn’t supervise every person, and 15 minutes is not enough time to accomplish significant agenda items, every staff member knows they have the attention of the senior pastor on a regular basis. The keys at this church are not wasted or kept but shared freely.
Recognize That Keys Aren’t What They Used to Be
It used to be that a key was a key. If you went to a hotel, you would put the key in the lock and enter your room. Today you might enter your room via a traditional key, a keypad, a keycard, or even an app on your smartphone! We’ve found a similar trend in the staffing strategies of some churches that grow young.
There used to be more of a formula for staffing a church—hire a pastor, then a worship leader, and then a youth pastor. While many churches that grow young followed these more traditional staffing patterns, others developed creative staff and volunteer structures. One of the most effective and well-loved youth workers we interacted with was a 75-year-old retired grandfather at an inner-city church. In fact, several congregations utilize retired senior adults as leaders in their church. Others awakened the passion of those in their twenties, many of whom spend significant hours volunteering with their church.
Another difference in churches growing young is that youth and young adult pastors tend not to focus exclusively on youth or young adult ministry. They are given a voice (not just more work) in other areas of the church, such as in the children’s ministry, men’s or women’s ministry, senior adult ministry, and church board meetings. This multifaceted involvement naturally erodes the walls between the age-based silos that can so easily divide ministries and congregation members.
Rather than simply following traditional practices or assuming a separate staff person is necessary for every role, churches that grow young show significant creativity and contextual sensitivity when it comes to sustainable staffing. Most important is that each model or division of responsibility works well because it matches and respects the church’s unique culture. Next time you’re looking to fill a position, pause and ask yourself (and your team) if there are any options to divide up the keys that you haven’t yet considered.
Say Thank You
In chapter 1, we referred to the admonition of leadership guru Max De Pree that the first job of a leader is to define reality. According to De Pree, the last job of a leader is to say “Thank you.”9 Gratitude recognizes and affirms the contributions of others as well as shapes the character of the leader.
Whom do you need to thank for entrusting you with the keys of leadership at some point in your journey? Spend some time writing, calling, or texting those keychain leaders God used to position you for the leadership role you have today.
I (Jake) likely wouldn’t be writing this book if it weren’t for several leaders who saw potential in me as a teenager and emerging adult and began sharing keys with me the moment I was ready to take them on my own. Without those keys, I would likely be working in a business finance office rather than studying and serving churches today. Come to think of it, I can already identify at least a half dozen people who probably don’t know about the impact they’ve had on my life and leadership. Whatever your age or life stage, we bet you can do the same.
Go ahead, put down this book and take some time to thank them now.
Chapter Highlights
• Churches that grow young are brimming with staff, volunteers, and parents who demonstrate keychain leadership. By keys, we mean the capabilities, power, and access of leaders that can be used to empower young people. By keychain leaders, we mean pastoral and congregational leaders who are acutely aware of the keys on their keychain and intentional about entrusting and empowering young people with their own set of keys.
• Keychain leaders can be volunteers, senior pastors, parents, youth pastors, associate pastors, Sunday school teachers, and more. Beyond any particular role, keychain leadership is a spirit and commitment demonstrated by both paid and volunteer leaders that permeates every area of the church.
• Four types of key leadership we’ve discovered include:
Key-less leaders: Often young and inexperienced, without much authority or access, they spend their time proving they’re worthy to possess keys.
Key-hoarding leaders: Always holding the keys and refusing to give others access, they run the show.
Key-loaning leaders: Often taking keys off the keychain and letting others borrow them temporarily, they make sure the keys are returned quickly.
Keychain leaders: Very aware of the keys they hold, they’re constantly opening doors for some while training and entrusting others who are ready for their own set of keys.
• The research revealed six essentials of keychain leadership. Keychain leaders
are mature, not always young;
are real, not “relevant”;
are warm, not distant;
know what matters to people, not just other pastors;
entrust and empower others; they don’t try to be a “Superpastor”; and
take the long view, not shortsighted steps.
Strategic Questions to Help Your Church Unlock Keychain Leadership
Research Findings
On a scale of 1 to 5 (with 1 being “we’re struggling here” and 5 being “we’re nailing this”), rate your congregation on the research findings presented in this chapter:
1. My approach to leadership and the overall culture of our congregation reflect keychain leadership, marked by an awareness of the keys we hold and a willingness to entrust and empower young people.
1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
2. Our church appropriately balances a focus on mature leadership with a focus on young leadership.
1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
3. The leadership culture at our church focuses on being real rather than “relevant.”
1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
4. The leadership culture at our church is warm rather than distant.
1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
5. The leadership culture at our church regularly and carefully listens to and knows what matters to people in our congregation, not just other pastors.
1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
6. The leadership culture in our congregation takes the long view rather than shortsighted steps.
1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Ideas for Action
1. What are you personally already doing to understand which keys are on your keychain and how those keys might best be used?
2. What are some keys (capabilities, power, and access) that you have already shared or given away to others, especially to young people?
3. Looking back at the four types of key leadership we discussed on pages 57–58, which one best describes you and the leadership culture of your church? In order to move to the next level or improve at your current level, what are one or two steps you or your church need to take?
4. Who else needs to be part of this conversation?
5. What can you do in the next few weeks or months to move toward these changes?