Lesson 3
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Lesson 3
Folly and Death
(PROVERBS 5—7)
Before you begin …
Getting Started
From the Commentary
“You shall not commit adultery.”
The Lord God spoke those words at Mount Sinai, and we call what He said the seventh commandment (Ex. 20:14). It declares that sexual intimacy outside the bonds of marriage is wrong, even if “between consenting adults.” This law specifically mentions adultery, but the commandment includes the sexual sins prohibited elsewhere in Scripture (Lev. 18; Rom. 1:18–32; 1 Cor. 6:9–20; Eph. 5:1–14). God invented sex and has every right to tell us how to use it properly.
However, on hearing the seventh commandment, many people in contemporary society smile nonchalantly and ask, “What’s wrong with premarital or extramarital sex, or any other kind, for that matter?” After all, they argue, many people indulge in these things and seem to get away with it.
Why worry about sexual sins? These three chapters of Proverbs give us three reasons why we should worry if we break God’s laws of purity: because sexual sin is eventually disappointing (Prov. 5), gradually destructive (ch. 6), and ultimately deadly (ch. 7). That’s why God says “You shall not commit adultery.”
—Be Skillful, pages 59–60
1. Why do you think Solomon focuses on the topic of purity in Proverbs 5—7? What are the physical and emotional consequences of adultery and sexual sin? Beyond even the moral implications, what spiritual lessons can we discover from this teaching?
2. Choose one verse or phrase from Proverbs 5—7 that stands out to you. This could be something you’re intrigued by, something that makes you uncomfortable, something that puzzles you, something that resonates with you, or just something you want to examine further. Write that here.
Going Deeper
From the Commentary
When married people honor and respect sex as God instructs them in His Word, they can experience increasing enjoyment and enrichment in their intimacy. But when people break the rules, the result is just the opposite. They experience disappointment and disillusionment and have to search for larger “doses” of sexual adventure in order to attain the imaginary pleasure level they’re seeking.
God created sex not only for reproduction, but also for enjoyment, and He didn’t put the “marriage wall” around sex to rob us of pleasure but to increase pleasure and protect it. In chapter 5, Solomon explains the disappointments that come when people violate God’s loving laws of sexual purity.
—Be Skillful, page 60
3. What is the “marriage wall” referenced above? How does this wall help married couples avoid the disappointments Solomon describes in Proverbs 5? Why are people still drawn to sexual sin even if they know they’ll ultimately experience disappointment or disillusionment?
More to Consider: The word translated “strange” in reference to “the strange woman” basically means “not related to.” What is the allure of the strange woman? (See Prov. 7:13–20.) What is the ultimate outcome of an alliance with someone who is not your spouse (5:4)? Why is that the case?
From the Commentary
The book of Proverbs emphasizes the importance of looking ahead to see where your actions will lead you. The wise person checks on the destination before buying a ticket (4:26), but modern society thinks that people can violate God’s laws and escape the consequences. They’re sure that whatever has happened to others will never happen to them. Sad to say, their ignorance and insolence can never neutralize the tragic aftermath that comes when people break the laws of God.
—Be Skillful, page 61
4. Read the following verses: Proverbs 5:11; 14:12–14; 16:25; 19:20; 20:21; 23:17–18, 32; 24:14, 20; 25:8. What does each of these passages say about considering the consequences of your actions? How do they apply to Proverbs 5’s emphasis on sexual purity? What are some of the consequences of breaking God’s law regarding purity?
From the History Books
The 1960s are often associated with the “sexual revolution” in American culture. The release of the Kinsey Reports a few years earlier, the invention of the birth-control pill, and the rise of the women’s liberation movement probably were three of the greatest factors contributing to this sudden change in cultural morality. During this season of change, sexuality was taken “out of the closet” and turned into a subject worthy of public dialogue. One of the most famous slogans from that time period, “Make love, not war,” not only expresses an opinion on the Vietnam War, it invites the topic of sexuality into the public consciousness.
5. Why do you think history refers to the 1960s as a time of “sexual revolution”? What does this say about the way sex was perceived (and acknowledged) in the decades that preceded the 1960s? What does it say about the importance and compelling nature of sexuality? How might this era in our culture be similar to what Solomon was referring to in Proverbs 5—7? What makes sexuality such a controversial subject in society today (especially in the church)?
From the Commentary
Freedom of choice is one of the privileges God has given us, but He instructs us and urges us to use that freedom wisely. The laws of God are guideposts to lead us on the path of life, and He watches the decisions we make and the roads we take. “The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good” (15:3).
—Be Skillful, page 63
6. How do people abuse “freedom of choice” when it comes to their sexuality? How does the abuse of this freedom of choice actually result in the loss of freedom? What does true freedom in Christ look like?
From the Commentary
Chapter 6 deals with three enemies that can destroy a person financially, physically, morally, or spiritually: unwise financial commitments (vv. 1–5), laziness (vv. 6–11), and lust (vv. 20–35). It is not unusual for one person to be guilty of all three, because laziness and lust often go together; people who can easily be pressured into putting up security for somebody can be pressured into doing other foolish things, including committing adultery. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matt. 6:21).
—Be Skillful, page 64
7. How are the three enemies that can destroy a person as described in Proverbs 6 similar? How are they different? Why does Solomon speak so strongly about each of these enemies? Why is their power so destructive? What can we do to avoid that destruction?
From the Commentary
Hunger is a strong force in human life, and the only way to satisfy hunger is to eat, but if you steal the bread that you eat, you’re breaking the law. You’ll end up paying more for that bread than if you’d gone out and bought a loaf at the bakery.
Adultery is stealing.
King David was a brilliant strategist on the battlefield and a wise ruler on the throne, but he lost his common sense when he gazed at his neighbor’s wife and lusted for her (2 Sam. 12). He was sure he could get away with his sin, but common sense would have told him he was wrong. Every stratagem David used to implicate Bathsheba’s husband failed, so he ended up having the man killed. Surely David knew that we reap what we sow, and reap he did, right in the harvest field of his own family.
—Be Skillful, page 66
8. Why is adultery a form of theft? In what ways do people lose their good sense (Prov. 6:32) when committing sexual sins such as adultery? What are some arguments a person might make to defend his or her adultery? What is the flaw in each argument?
More to Consider: In today’s culture the impact of a sexual scandal is often multiplied by the power of the media. In what ways does today’s society prove the truth noted in Proverbs 6:33–35?
From the Commentary
[In Proverbs 7,] for the third time Solomon calls the young person back to the Word of God (vv. 1–5), because keeping God’s commandments is a matter of life or death. The adulteress lives on a dead-end street: “Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death” (v. 27).
The familiar phrase “apple of your eye” (v. 2 NKJV) refers to the pupil of the eye, which the ancients thought was a sphere like an apple. We protect our eyes because they’re valuable to us, and so should we honor and protect God’s Word by obeying it. Sexual sin often begins with undisciplined eyes and hands (Matt. 5:27–30), but the heart of the problem is … the heart (Prov. 7:2–3).
—Be Skillful, page 67
9. Why do you think Solomon uses such dramatic language in Proverbs 7 to describe the consequences of following the adulteress? In what ways is this wisdom true today? What sort of “death” comes from committing sexual sin?
From the Commentary
When we pray, “Lead us not into temptation” (Matt. 6:13), we know that God doesn’t tempt us (James 1:13–16); yet we may tempt ourselves, tempt others, and even tempt God (Ex. 17:1–7; Num. 14:22; Deut. 6:16; Ps. 78:18, 56; 1 Cor. 10:9). We tempt God when we deliberately disobey Him and put ourselves into situations so difficult that only God can deliver us. It’s as though we “dare Him” to do something.
—Be Skillful, page 69
10. What are some examples of how people tempt God by deliberately getting into morally risky situations? Why is it so easy to fall into this trap? How does a conscious decision to disobey God reflect and affect the manner in which we understand God’s grace? Does God still offer grace and forgiveness when we deliberately tempt Him with disobedience? If so, what then should compel His followers to walk a wiser path?
Looking Inward
Take a moment to reflect on all that you’ve explored thus far in this study of Proverbs 5—7. Review your notes and answers and think about how each of these things matters in your life today.
Tips for Small Groups: To get the most out of this section, form pairs or trios and have group members take turns answering these questions. Be honest and as open as you can in this discussion, but most of all, be encouraging and supportive of others. Be sensitive to those who are going through particularly difficult times and don’t press for people to speak if they’re uncomfortable doing so.
11. How comfortable are you with the topic of purity? If you’ve struggled with this issue in your personal life, where have you turned for help? What are the greatest challenges you’ve faced in this area of your life? (If you’re in a small-group setting, you don’t need to share your answers aloud. Instead, spend time in thoughtful reflection and prayer, asking God to reveal His wisdom.)
12. If you are married, think of ways you’ve honored the wisdom Solomon reveals through his examination of sexual sin in Proverbs 5—7. Look only at the positive things for a moment. How do these things prove Solomon’s wisdom? What are two or three things you wish those who struggle with sexual sin could learn from Solomon?
13. How have you been tempted to exercise your “freedom of choice” in ways that don’t honor God? Why is the freedom God gives you sometimes difficult to understand? What are some of the things you’re doing in your life to better understand what it means to have freedom of choice as a follower of God?
Going Forward
14. Think of one or two things that you have learned that you’d like to work on in the coming week. Remember that this is all about quality, not quantity. It’s better to work on one specific area of life and do it well than to work on many and do poorly (or to be so overwhelmed that you simply don’t try).
Do you need to change some of your thoughts or habits regarding sexuality? Be specific. Go back through Proverbs 5—7 and put a star next to the phrase or verse that is most encouraging to you. Consider memorizing this verse.
Real-Life Application Ideas: If you’re married, spend time talking with your spouse about the warnings in Proverbs 5—7. Talk about how you can work together to avoid the temptations of sexual sin. And if you have children, discuss how you’ll present these truths to them and at what age.
Seeking Help
15. Write a prayer below (or simply pray one in silence), inviting God to work on your mind and heart in those areas you’ve previously noted. Be honest about your desires and fears.
Notes for Small Groups: