Psalm 150 (continued, part 3)
Fools create problems and bring sorrow, especially to their parents. "A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother" (Prov. 10:1 nkjv; see 15:20; 17:21, 25). Every godly father says to his son, "Be wise, my son, and bring joy to my heart" (27:11 niv), but the pages of the Bible record the sorrow that foolish sons brought to their parents.
Cain grieved his parents when he killed his brother Abel (Gen. 4). Esau deliberately married heathen women just to provoke his father Isaac (Gen. 28:6–9). Jacob's sons lied to him about their brother Joseph and broke his heart (Gen. 37). Samson grieved his parents by living with pagan women and fraternizing with the enemies of Israel (Judg. 13—16). David's sons broke his heart with their evil ways. Amnon violated his halfsister Tamar, and Absalom killed him for doing it (2 Sam. 13). Then Absalom rebelled against David and seized the kingdom (2 Sam. 15—18).
The original text of verse 10 is very difficult and there are many varied translations. "Like an archer who wounds everyone, so is he who hires a fool or who hires those who pass by" (NASB). "Like an archer who wounds at random is he who hires a fool or any passerby" (niv). "Like an archer who wounds everybody is he who hires a passing fool or drunkard" (RSV). Note that the emphasis is on the one doing the hiring and not on the fool. If you hire a fool (or just anybody who passes by) and give him or her responsibility, you might just as well start shooting at random, because the fool will do a lot of damage. Of course, nobody in his
Can anything be done to change foolish children into wise men and women? "Though you grind a fool in a mortar, grinding him like grain with a pestle, you will not remove his folly from him" (Prov. 27:22 niv). Women in the ancient world ground grain in a bowl (mortar) using a hard tool (pestle) with which they could crack and pulverize the kernels. The image is clear: no amount of pressure or pain will change a fool
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right mind would start shooting at random, so, nobody in his right mind would hire a fool.
message is usually misunderstood. In the poem, Gray contrasts the joyful innocence of children in school to the difficulties they will have when they reach adulthood. He asks us not to rob them of their youthful pleasures too soon. There will be time enough for them to learn that life isn't always fun and games. We expect a certain amount of naive innocence in children, but not in adults. 4 Ralph Waldo Emerson, Essays: First and Second Series (New York: E. P. Dutton, 1938), 31. Emerson was one of the preachers of the "success philosophy" that has become the unofficial civil religion of the United States. His essay, "Self-Reliance," is the "Bible" of the under-believers and overachievers in the business world, and some of its humanistic ideas have infiltrated the church and produced a "success theology" that is unbiblical. I enjoy reading Emerson, but I carefully separate the wheat from the chaff. 5 There is a "sanctified self-confidence" that's based on faith, energized by the Holy Spirit, and glorifies God. Paul expressed it when he wrote, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phil. 4:13 nkjv); David gave testimony to it in Psalm 18:29–39. 6 Isaac's favoritism toward Esau (Gen. 25:28), Jacob's pampering of Joseph (Gen. 37:3), and David's failure to discipline his sons properly all helped to create the family problems I've mentioned. 7 Some commentators translate the phrase "drink violence" ("damage") as "to be stripped bare." In other words, send a fool on an important mission and you'll end up crippled and humiliated!
Fools don't learn from their mistakes but go right back to the same old mess, like a dog returning to eat his vomit (v. 11). Experience is a good teacher for the wise, but not for fools. This verse is quoted in 2 Peter 2:22 as a description of counterfeit believers who follow false teachers. Like a sow that's been washed, they look better on the outside; and like a dog that's vomited, they feel better on the inside; but they're still not sheep! They don't have the divine new nature; consequently, they go right back to the old life. Obedience and perseverance in the things of the Lord are proof of conversion.
What will happen to the fool? "A man's own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the Lord" (Prov. 19:3 niv). This reminds us of Pharaoh in Exodus 5— 15, who saw his country ruined by God's plagues and yet wouldn't give in to the Lord. He raged against Jehovah and Moses and even pursued the Jews to take them back, only to see his best soldiers drowned in the Red Sea. God's discipline helps a wise person obey the Word, but punishment only makes a foolish person more wicked. The same sun that melts the ice hardens the clay.
Because they "feed on foolishness" (Prov. 15:14), fools have no moral strength. "The lips [words] of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of wisdom" (10:21). They not only lack spiritual and intellectual nourishment, but they also lack refreshing water: "Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it, but folly brings punishment to fools" (16:22 niv). The image of words and God's law as "a fountain of life" is also found in 10:11; 13:14; 14:27; and 18:4. Follow Wisdom and you live on a fruitful oasis; follow Folly and your home is an arid desert.
CHAPTER SEVEN "RICH MAN, POOR MAN, BEGGAR MAN, THIEF" M
The fool will "die without instruction" (5:23). "The wise shall inherit glory: but shame shall be the promotion of fools" (3:35). They will hear God's voice say, "Fool! This night your soul will be required of you" (Luke 12:20 nkjv), but then it will be too late.
oney isn't everything," said a wit, "but it does keep you in touch with your children."
On a more serious level, Paul summarized the Christian philosophy of wealth when he wrote, "Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need" (Eph. 4:28 nkjv). According to Paul, you can get wealth in three ways: by stealing it, earning it, or receiving it as a gift, which would include getting it as an inheritance. Stealing is wrong (Ex. 20:15), labor is honorable (Ex. 20:9), and "It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35).
The only fools who are "wise fools" are Christians, because they're "fools for Christ's sake" (1 Cor. 4:10). The world calls them fools, but in trusting Jesus Christ and committing their lives to Him, they've made the wisest decision anybody can make.
I read about a man who bore witness to his faith in a busy shopping area by wearing a sandwich board which read: I'M A FOOL FOR JESUS CHRIST. WHOSE FOOL ARE YOU?
A wise question! Be sure you can give a wise answer.
In the book of Proverbs, King Solomon tells us a great deal about these three kinds of people—the thieves, the workers, and the poor who need our help. (Among the thieves, I'm including "the sluggard," the lazy person who never works but expects others to take care of him. That's being a thief, isn't it?) However, wealthy as he was (1 Kings 4; 10), King Solomon emphasized that God's wisdom is more important than money. "How much better is it to get wisdom than
Notes 1 Charles R. Bridges, Exposition of the Book of Proverbs (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan, 1959), 179. 2 Brooks Atkinson, Once around the Sun (New York: Harcourt, Brace, 1951), 37. 3 This oft-quoted statement is the last line of Thomas Gray's poem, "Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College," but its
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could work but won't, the people who consume what others produce but produce nothing for others to use. The "sluggard" and the "slothful man" are mentioned at least seventeen times in Proverbs, and nothing good is said about them.
gold! and to get understanding rather to be chosen than silver!" (Prov. 16:16; see 2:1–5; 3:13–15; 8:10–21) This is Solomon's version of Matthew 6:33; he's reminding us that while it is good to have the things money can buy, be sure you don't lose the things money can't buy.
We need to recognize the fact that work is not a curse. God gave Adam work to do in the Garden even before sin entered the scene (Gen. 2:15). Before He began His public ministry, Jesus worked as a carpenter (Mark 6:3); the apostle Paul was a tentmaker (Acts 18:1–3). In that day, rabbis had vocations and supported themselves but didn't accept payment from their students. When we engage in honorable employment we're cooperating with God in caring for and using His creation, we're helping to provide for others, and we're growing in character. The work God has called us to do ought to nourish us (John 4:34), not tear us down; "the laborer is worthy of his hire" (Luke 10:7; 1 Tim. 5:18). What are some of the marks of sluggards? For one thing, they love to sleep. "How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?" (Prov. 6:9 niv). "As a door turns on its hinges, so does the lazy man on his bed" (26:14). Lots of motion—but no progress!
1. The Thieves The book of Proverbs opens with a stern warning against participating in get-rich-quick schemes that involve breaking the law (Prov. 1:10–19). These schemes are self-destructive and lead to bondage and possibly the grave. Beware of people who promise to make you wealthy without asking you to work or take any risks. "Wealth obtained by fraud dwindles, but the one who gathers by labor increases it" (13:11 nasb). "A man with an evil eye hastens after riches, and does not consider that poverty will come upon him" (28:22 nkjv). "Ill gotten treasures are of no value, but righteousness delivers from death" (10:2 niv).
Proverbs 21:5–7 points out three ways not to get wealth: following hasty schemes (v. 5), lying to people (v. 6), and robbing (v. 7). Most if not all get-rich-quick schemes involve some kind of deception and are nothing but scams.1 Unfortunately, even God's people have been duped by scam artists, and more than one trusting soul has lost his or her life savings in a "sure thing" that turned out to be a sure loser. However, scams wouldn't succeed if there weren't people eager to get rich as quickly and easily as possible. But, as the old adage puts it, "There are no free lunches." You take what you want from life, but eventually you pay for it.
Sleep is a necessary element for a healthy life, but too much sleep is destructive. Wise people enjoy sleep that's "sweet" (3:24) because they know they're in God's will, and the laborer's sleep is "sweet" because he or she has worked hard (Eccl. 5:12), but the sleep of the sluggard is a mark of selfishness and laziness. "Laziness could run a competitive race for the most underrated sin," write Ronald Sailler and David Wyrtzen in The Practice of Wisdom (Chicago: Moody, 1992). "Quietly it anesthetizes its victim into a lifeless stupor that ends in hunger, bondage and death" (82).
God demands that we be honest in all our business dealings. Dishonesty is robbery. "Dishonest scales are an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is His delight" (11:1 nkjv; see 16:11; 20:10, 23). Moses commanded in the law that the people use honest weights and measures (Lev 19:35–36; Deut. 25:13–16); since Israel didn't have an official Department of Standards to check on these things, the law wasn't always obeyed. Amos accused the merchants in his day of "skimping the measure, boosting the price and cheating with dishonest scales" (Amos 8:5 niv); Micah asked, "Shall I count them pure with the wicked balances, and with the bag of deceitful weights?" (Mic. 6:11).
Put the sluggard to work and he's more of a nuisance than a help. "As vinegar to the teeth, and as smoke to the eyes, so is the sluggard to them that send him" (Prov. 10:26). Vinegar on the teeth and smoke in the eyes aren't necessarily lethal, but they do irritate you; so does a sluggard who won't get the job done. All he does is dream about the things he wants to enjoy, but he won't work hard enough to earn them. "The sluggard's craving will be the death of him, because his hands refuse to work" (21:25 niv). Dreams become nightmares if you don't discipline yourself to work.
Another dishonest way to get wealth is to use your resources selfishly and disregard the needs of others. "A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. People curse the man who hoards grain, but blessing crowns him who is willing to sell" (Prov. 11:25–26 niv). In times of drought and famine, a prosperous farmer could corner the grain market and become rich at the expense of his needy neighbors (see Neh. 5). We need to realize that everything we have comes from God (1 Cor. 4.7; John 3:27) and that we are but stewards of His wealth. While everyone expects that a businessman will make a profit, nobody wants him to "make a killing" and hurt others.
Another mark of the sluggard is a know-it-all attitude. "The lazy man is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who can answer sensibly" (26:16 nkjv). He lives in a fantasy world that prevents him from being a useful part of the real world (13:4; 21:25–26), but he can tell everybody else what to do. He's never succeeded at anything in his own life, but he can tell others how to succeed.
Sluggards are good at making excuses. Either the weather is too cold for plowing (20:4), or it's too dangerous to go out of the house (22:13; 26:13). "The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns, but the path of
The biggest thieves of all are the lazy people who
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had to send the people to Babylon to give the land a rest.
the upright is a highway" (15:19 niv). The diligent man or woman can always find a reason to work, but the sluggard always has an excuse for not working. Evangelist Billy Sunday defined an excuse as "the skin of a reason stuffed with a lie," and he was right. People who are good at making excuses are rarely good at doing anything else.
What are the causes of poverty and need? Some people are poor simply because they won't work. Work is available, but they prefer not to know about it. "Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth" (Prov. 10:4 niv). "Do not love sleep, lest you come to poverty" (20:13 nkjv). Or perhaps the enemy is pleasure: "He who loves pleasure will be a poor man; he who loves wine and oil will not be rich" (21:17 nkjv). Of course, the drunkard and the glutton are usually among the poor (23:21). Time, energy, money, and opportunity are wasted when leisure and pleasure control a person's life.
What finally happens to the sluggard? For one thing, unless others care for them, sluggards live in poverty and hunger. "Laziness casts one into a deep sleep, and an idle person will suffer hunger" (19:15 nkjv; see 10:4; 13:4). "If any would not work, neither should he eat" was the standard for the New Testament church (see 2 Thess. 3:6–15). The saints were happy to care for those who needed help and couldn't care for themselves, but they had no time for freeloaders who lived by the sacrifices of others (Acts 2:44–47; 1 Tim. 5:3–16). The sluggard gets so lazy, he won't feed himself even when the food is brought right to him (Prov. 19:24; 26:15)! The sluggard loses his freedom and is enslaved to others. "The hand of the diligent will rule, but the lazy man will be put to forced labor" (12:24 nkjv). His debts accumulate to the point where he has to become a slave and work off what he owes (see Lev. 25:39–55; Deut. 15:12–18). The "easy life" of leisure turns out to be very costly as the sluggard exchanges his pillow for a plow and has to work off his debts the hard way.
Unfortunately, some people weren't disciplined when young and taught the importance of work. "He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored" (13:18 niv). Listening to orders and obeying them, paying attention to correction and reproof and not repeating mistakes, and respecting supervision are essential to success in any job. It's worth noting that the prodigal's first request was, "Father, give me!" But when he returned home, his desire was, "Make me one of your servants" (Luke 15:12, 19). He'd learned the value of his father's discipline and the joy of hard work.
Some people are needy because they like to talk but never act. "In all labor there is profit, but idle chatter leads only to poverty" (Prov. 14:23 nkjv). This reminds us of our Lord's parable about the two sons (Matt. 21:28–32). People can become poor because of unwise financial dealings. Rush impulsively into a "good deal" and you may lose everything (Prov. 21:5), and beware of signing notes and assuming other people's debts (6:1–5), especially strangers (11:15). "A man devoid of understanding shakes hands in a pledge, and becomes surety for his friend" (17:18 nkjv; see 22:26–27). The Jews were permitted to loan money to other Jews, but they were not to charge interest (Lev. 25:35–38; Ex. 22:25). They were permitted to charge interest to Gentiles (Deut. 23:20). However, they were warned against "going surety" and assuming debts larger than they could pay (Prov. 22:7).
The sluggard wastes God-given resources. "He also that is slothful in his work is brother to him that is a great waster" (Prov. 18:9). The lazy person may be "working" but not doing a very good job. Consequently, what's done will either have to be thrown out or done over; this means it will cost twice as much.
The sluggard also wastes God-given opportunities. "He who gathers in summer is a wise son; he who sleeps in harvest is a son who causes shame" (10:5 nkjv). When the fields are ready for harvest, the reapers have to go to work, because the opportunity won't be there forever (John 4:27–38). Diligent people are alert to their God-given opportunities and seek to make the most of them.
There are also times when people become poor because of people and events over which they have no control. "A poor man's field may produce abundant food, but injustice sweeps it away" (13:23 niv; see 18:23; 28:8). The prophets condemned wicked rulers and businessmen who crushed the poor and seized what little they had (Isa. 3:13–15; 10:1–4; Amos 2:6–7; 4:1; 5:11–12; 8:4–10). When there's justice in the land and people fear the Lord, then the poor have a voice and protection from oppression.
2. The Poor and Needy Had the nation of Israel obeyed God's laws, their land would have remained fruitful and there would have been very little poverty or oppression of the poor. Every seventh day was a Sabbath, when the people rested and gave their land and farm animals rest. Every seventh year was a sabbatical year, when the land and workers were allowed to rest for the entire year. Every fiftieth year was a Year of Jubilee, when the land not only lay fallow but was returned to its original owners (Lev. 25:1–34). By this means, the Lord sought to restore the fertility of the land regularly and also prevent wealthy people from amassing huge farms and thus controlling the economy. According to 2 Chronicles 36:20–21, the nation didn't obey these special laws for the land; God
Oppressing the poor is condemned by God. "He who oppresses the poor reproaches his Maker, but he who honors Him has mercy on the needy" (Prov. 14:31 nkjv). God doesn't respect the rich more than He respects the poor. "The rich and the poor have this in common, the Lord is the maker of them all" (22:2
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joys of a disciplined and diligent life. "The fruit of the Spirit is … self-control" (Gal. 5:22–23).
nkjv). The poor are made in the image of God, so the way we treat the poor is the way we treat God. Churches that show deference to the rich and ignore the poor have forgotten the royal law, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" (James 2:1–8).
The reward for faithful hard work is—more work! "Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things" (Matt. 25:21 nkjv; see Luke 19:16–19). "Do you see a man who excels in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before unknown men" (Prov. 22:29 nkjv).
How do we help the poor? To begin with, we ought not to look down on the poor because of their troubles, thinking we are better than they. "He who despises his neighbor sins; but he who has mercy on the poor, happy is he" (Prov. 14:21 niv). God has a special concern for the poor and needy, and in exploiting them we will find ourselves fighting the Lord. "Rob not the poor, because he is poor: neither oppress the afflicted in the gate: for the Lord will plead their cause, and spoil [plunder] the soul of those that spoiled them" (22:22–23; see Deut. 15:7; 24:12). Christian citizens ought to see to it that laws are written fairly and enforced justly. "The righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern" (Prov. 29:7 niv). "A ruler who oppresses the poor is like a driving rain that leaves no crops" (28:3 niv). "Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy" (31:9 niv). "The king who judges the poor with truth, his throne will be established forever" (29:14). These are solemn statements indeed!
One of the blessings of diligent labor is the joy of developing the kind of ability and character that others can trust, thereby fitting ourselves for the next responsibility God has prepared for us. Joseph was faithful in suffering and service, and this prepared him to rule Egypt. David faithfully cared for a few sheep, and God gave him an entire nation to shepherd (Ps. 78:70–72). Joshua was faithful as Moses' helper and became Moses' successor. "Wisdom is the principal thing.… Exalt her, and she will promote you" (Prov. 4:7–8 nkjv). "The wise shall inherit glory: but shame shall be the promotion of fools" (3:35).
There's no substitute for hard work. "Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth" (10:4 niv). "All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty" (14:23 niv). A new college graduate was asked if he was looking for work. He thought for a minute and then replied, "No, but I would like to have a job." That seems to be the attitude of too many people today. Poet Robert Frost said, "The world is full of willing people: some willing to work and the rest willing to let them."
When we assist the poor, we are investing with the Lord, and He will see to it that we get our dividends at the right time.2 "He who has pity on the poor lends to the Lord, and he will pay back what he has given" (19:17; see 11:24; 22:9). Before the church helps, however, the family has an obligation to assist their own needy (1 Tim. 5:4, 8). This leaves the church free to help those who have no one to share their burdens. If we shut our ears to the cries of the poor, God will shut His ears to our prayers (Prov. 21:13).
Diligent people plan their work and work their plan. "The plans of the diligent lead surely to plenty, but those of everyone who is hasty, surely to poverty" (21:5 nkjv). "Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established" (16:3 nkjv; see 24:27). Thomas Edison said, "I never did anything worth doing by accident, nor did any of my inventions come by accident; they came by work." More than one scientific breakthrough seemed to be discovered by accident, but there was still a great deal of hard work put into the project before the breakthrough came. Benjamin Franklin wrote in his Poor Richard's Almanack, "Diligence is the mother of good luck, and God gives all things to industry."
Having pastored three churches, I know some of the problems congregations can have with "con artists" who pose as "believers passing through town who need help." In over forty years of ministry, I recall very few instances when strangers we helped wrote and thanked us when they got home or even repaid the gift. Certainly pastors and deacons must exercise caution and wisdom lest they do more harm than good, but we must also remember that we're helping truly needy people for Jesus' sake (Matt. 25:34–40). Bernard of Clairvaux, composer of "Jesus, the Very Thought of Thee," gave wise counsel when he said, "Justice seeks out the merits of the case, but pity only regards the need." If our Lord dealt with us today only on the basis of justice, where would we be?
God blesses the labors of people who are honest. "Wealth gained by dishonesty will be diminished, but he who gathers by labor will increase" (13:11 nkjv). God expects "a just weight and a just balance" (16:11; see 20:10, 23). He also expects us to be honest in our words as we deal with people in our work. "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight" (12:22 nkjv).
3. The Diligent Diligent hands are directed by a diligent heart, and this means the discipline of the inner person. "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it springs the issues of life" (Prov. 4:23 nkjv). When we cultivate the inner person through prayer, meditation on the Word, and submission to the Lord, then we can experience the
God blesses diligent people for their generosity. "There is one who scatters, yet increases more; and there is one who withholds more than is right, but it leads to poverty. The generous soul will be made rich, and he who waters will also be watered himself" (11:24–25 nkjv). "He who has a generous eye will be
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in wealth usually means an increase in decision-making, risk-taking, and possibly physical danger. "A man's riches may ransom his life, but a poor man hears no threat" (13:8 niv). Kenneth Taylor aptly paraphrased this verse, "Being kidnapped and held for ransom never worries the poor man!" (TLB). Thieves will break into a mansion but not a hovel.
blessed, for he gives of his bread to the poor" (22:9 nkjv). Mark the difference between the diligent worker and the slothful person: "The desire of the lazy man kills him, for his hands refuse to labor. He covets greedily all day long, but the righteous gives and does not spare" (21:25–26 nkjv).
Diligent people are careful not to incur debts they can't handle. "The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender" (22:7 nkjv). While a certain amount of honest debt is expected in today's world, and everybody wants to achieve a good credit rating, we must be careful not to mistake presumption for faith. As the familiar adage puts it, "When your outgo exceeds your income, then your upkeep is your downfall."
One of the subtle dangers of wealth is a false sense of security. "He who trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will flourish like foliage" (11:28). After all, riches won't save the sinner on the day of judgment (11:4); they can't buy peace (15:16–17) or a good name (22:1). Riches have a tendency to fly away when we least expect it (23:4–5; 27:23–24).
If God blesses our diligent work with success, we must be careful not to become proud. "The wealth of the rich is their fortified city; they imagine it an unscalable wall" (18:11 niv). This reminds us of the rich farmer in our Lord's parable (Luke 12:13–21). If successful people aren't careful, they'll start mistreating people (Prov. 14:21; 18:23) and becoming a law to themselves (28:11). "By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches, and honor, and life" (22:4). Rich people have many friends (14:20; 19:4, 6), but will those friends remain faithful if the rich become poor (19:7)? Wealth is a wonderful servant for humble people but a terrible master for the proud.
It's a dangerous thing for people to become greedy for more and more money and to overextend themselves to acquire it. Each of us must discover at what financial level God wants us to live and be content with it. "Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God" (30:7–9 niv).
I was a "depression baby" and the text my sister and two brothers and I learned to live by was "Use it up, wear it out; make it do, or do without." Our parents taught us the difference between luxuries and necessities, and they didn't try to impress the neighbors by purchasing things they didn't need with money they couldn't afford to spend. But that philosophy of life seems to have almost disappeared. Today if you talk about hard work, wise stewardship, the dangers of debt, and the importance of accountability before God, somebody is bound to smile (or laugh out loud) and tell you that times have changed.
The wrong attitude toward money can wreck friendships and even destroy a home. "He who is greedy for gain troubles his own house, but he who hates bribes will live" (15:27 nkjv). The man or woman who thinks only of getting rich will put money ahead of people and principles, and soon they start to neglect the family in their frantic pursuit of wealth. Expensive gifts to the children become substitutes for the gift of themselves; before long, values become twisted and the family falls apart. How many families have been destroyed because of the distribution of an estate! As a lawyer friend of mine used to say, "Where there's a will, there's relatives."
Our heavenly Father knows that His children have needs that must be met (Matt. 6:32); in our modern society, this means we must have money to procure them. But our most important task isn't to earn money; our most important task is to be the kind of people God can trust with money, people who are faithful in the way we use what God gives us. "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you" (Matt. 6:33 nkjv).
In connection with that problem, wealthy people have to worry about what their children will do with their wealth. "For riches are not forever, nor does a crown endure to all generations" (27:24 nkjv). Solomon discussed this problem in Ecclesiastes 2:18–26 and came to the conclusion that the best thing rich people can do is enjoy their wealth while they're able and not worry about their heirs. Perhaps their will should read, "Being of sound mind and body, I spent it all!"4
"The real measure of our wealth," said John Henry Jowett, "is how much we'd be worth if we lost all our money." Character is more important than position, and wisdom than possessions. God doesn't glorify poverty, but neither does He magnify affluence. "There is one who makes himself rich, yet has nothing; and one who makes himself poor, yet has great riches" (Prov. 13:7 nkjv).
"Rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief." God has a word for all of them. Are they willing to receive it?
Notes 1 The origin of the word "scam" is obscure. It comes from carnival jargon and may be a variation of the word "scheme." Before the law stepped in to control such things, some carnival workers were notorious at fleecing the unsuspecting public with get-rich-quick offers. Alas, what was once confined to carnivals is now found on Wall Street.
We must not think that the way of the wealthy is always easy,3 because there are also perils that accompany wealth and success in life. Wealthy people face problems that people of ordinary means don't face, for an increase
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the kind of marriage that God first established in Eden: one man married to one woman for one lifetime (Gen. 2:18–25; Matt. 19:19).1 The husband is to love his wife and be faithful to her (Prov. 5). The wife is not to forsake her husband and seek her love elsewhere (2:17). They are to enjoy one another and grow in their love for each other and for the Lord.
2 Of course, we don't give to others in order to get something back, because that would be selfish. We must be motivated by love and a desire to honor the Lord. 3 The story of "King Midas and the Golden Touch" is supposed to teach this important lesson. As the king acquired more and more gold, he discovered the hard way the things that were really important to him. 4 I wrote that in jest, of course, but only to get your attention and remind you of your accountability before God. Christians will want their last will and testament also to be a last will and testimony. How we dispose of the wealth God gives us, whether it be little or much, tells other people what is really important to us. It's frightening how many professed believers don't even have a will! Where is their sense of stewardship?
In ancient days, marriages were arranged by the parents. Our modern "system" of two people falling in love and getting married would be foreign to their thinking and their culture. In that day, a man and woman got married and then learned to love each other; they expected to stay together for life. Today, a man and woman learn to love each other, then they get married, and everybody hopes they'll stay together long enough to raise the children.
CHAPTER EIGHT FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND NEIGHBORS I
The husband. A man can inherit houses and lands, but "a prudent wife is from the Lord" (19:14 niv).2 "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord" (18:22 nkjv). Blessed is that marriage in which the husband acknowledges God's goodness to him in giving him his wife! When a husband takes her for granted, he grieves both her and the Lord. He should love her and be loyal to her all the days of his life.
n 1937, the number one fiction bestseller in the United States was Margaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind. The number one nonfiction title was Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People, and since then, millions of copies have been sold around the world. Why? Because just about everybody has "people problems" and wants to know how to solve them. Getting along with other people is an important part of life.
The book of Proverbs places on the husband the responsibility of guiding the home according to the wisdom of God, but as we shall see in chapter 31, the wife also plays an important part. Where two people love the Lord and love each other, God can guide and bless them. It's not a "fifty-fifty" arrangement, because "two become one." Rather, it's a 100-percent devotion to each other and to the Lord.
The book of Proverbs is the best manual you'll find on people skills, because it was given to us by the God who made us, the God who can teach us what we need to know about human relationships, whether it's marriage, the family, the neighborhood, the job, or our wider circle of friends and acquaintances. If we learn and practice God's wisdom as presented in Proverbs, we'll find ourselves improving in people skills and enjoying life much more.
The wife. Every wife will either build the home or tear it down (14:1). If she walks with the Lord, she will be a builder; if she disobeys God's wisdom, she will be a destroyer. She must be faithful to her husband, for "A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones" (12:4 niv). A crown or a cancer: What a choice! And beauty isn't the only thing he should look for; it's also important that a wife have wisdom and discretion (11:22).
1. Husbands and Wives According to Scripture, God established three human institutions in the world: marriage and the home (Gen. 2:18–25), human government (Gen. 9:1–6; Rom. 13), and the local church (Acts 2); of the three, the basic institution is the home. As goes the home, so go the church and the nation. The biblical views of marriage and the family have been so attacked and ridiculed in modern society that it does us good to review what the Creator of the home has to say about His wonderful gift of marriage.
Husbands occasionally create problems for their wives, but Solomon doesn't mention any of them. However, he does name some of the problems a wife might create for her husband. "The contentions of a wife are a continual dripping" (19:13). A wife who quarrels constantly creates the kind of atmosphere in a home that would tempt her husband to look for attention elsewhere. "Better to live on the corner of a roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife" (21:9 niv; see 21:19; 25:24; 27:15–16). But let's be fair and admit that the situation might be reversed and the husband be the culprit. God hates family discord (6:19), and we should do everything we can to practice in the home the kind of love that produces unity and harmony.
Marriage. King Solomon had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines (1 Kings 11:3), and in so doing he disobeyed God's law—by multiplying wives (Deut. 17:17), and by taking these wives from pagan nations that didn't worship Jehovah, the true and Living God (Ex. 34:16; Deut. 7:1–3). Eventually, these women won Solomon over to their gods, and the Lord had to discipline Solomon for his sins (1 Kings 11:4ff.).
The finest description of the ideal wife is found in 31:10–31. This poem is an acrostic with the initial words of the twenty-two verses all beginning with successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet (see Ps. 119).
In contrast to this, the book of Proverbs magnifies
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In the Bible, to be "clothed" with something means that it is a part of your life and reveals itself in your character and conduct. (See 1 Tim. 2:9–10; Col. 3:8–14.) This wife can laugh at future problems and troubles because she has strength of character and she's prepared for emergencies. She is a woman of faith who knows that God is with her and her family.
This acrostic form was a device to help people commit the passage to memory. Perhaps Jewish parents instructed their sons and daughters to memorize this poem and use it as a guide for their lives and in their homes. What kind of wife is described here?
First of all, she is a woman of character (Prov. 31:10–12). Just as wisdom is more important than wealth (3:15), so character is more important than jewels. Peter gave this same counsel to Christian wives in his day (1 Peter 3:1–6). Marriage doesn't change a person's character. If there are character weaknesses in either the husband or the wife, marriage will only reveal and accentuate them. A husband or wife who hopes to change his or her spouse after the honeymoon is destined for disappointment.
This wife is a capable teacher of wisdom (Prov. 31:26). She certainly teaches her children the wisdom of God, especially the daughters, preparing them for the time when they will have homes of their own. But it's likely that she also shares her insights with her husband, and he's wise enough to listen. Remember that earlier in the book, Solomon used a beautiful woman to personify wisdom; this godly wife does the same.
She is an attentive overseer of the household (v. 27). She isn't idle, and nothing in the household escapes her notice, whether it's food, finances, clothing, or school lessons. Managing the household is an exacting job, and she does her work faithfully day and night. Any husband and father who thinks that his wife "has it easy" should take her responsibilities for a week or two and discover how wrong he is!
If the husband and wife trust each other, there will be harmony in the home. Her husband has no fears or suspicions as she is busy about her work, because he knows she has character and will do nothing but good for him and their children. If brides and grooms take seriously the vows of love and loyalty they repeat to each other and to God at the altar, they will have a wall of confidence around their marriage that will keep out every enemy.
She's a woman worthy of praise (vv. 28–29). It's a wonderful thing when husband and children can praise wife and mother for her faithful ministry in the home. The suggestion here is that this praise was expressed regularly and spontaneously and not just on special occasions. (They didn't have Mother's Day in Israel. Every day should be Mother's Day and Father's Day!) It's tragic when the members of a family take each other for granted and fail to show sincere appreciation. The father ought to set the example for the children and always thank his wife for what she does for the family. He should see in her the woman who surpasses them all!
She's a woman who isn't afraid to work (Prov. 31:13–22, 24). Whether it's going to the market for food (vv. 14–15), buying real estate (v. 16a), or planting a vineyard (v. 16b), she's up early and busy with her chores. You get the impression that the night before she makes a list of "things to do" and doesn't waste a minute in idleness. "She sets about her work vigorously" (v. 17 niv), whether spinning thread, helping the poor, or providing a wardrobe for her children. She prepares the very best for her family, and they have no reason to be ashamed.
She is a generous person (v. 20). As she ministers to her family, she keeps her eyes open for people who have needs, and she does what she can to help them. Happiness comes to those who have mercy on the poor (14:21), and nothing given to the Lord for them will ever be lost (19:17).
The secret of her life is that she fears the Lord (v. 30). It's wonderful if a wife has charm and beauty; the possession of these qualities is not a sin. But the woman who walks with the Lord and seeks to please Him has a beauty that never fades (1 Peter 3:1–6). The man who has a wife who daily reads the Word, meditates, prays, and seeks to obey God's will has a treasure that is indeed beyond the price of rubies.
This wife makes it easy for her husband to do his work (v. 23). The city gate was the place where civic business was transacted, so her husband was one of the elders in the community (Ruth 4). While no such restrictions exist today, it would have been unthinkable in that day for a woman to sit on the "city council." But this loyal wife didn't want to take his place; she just did her work and made it easier for him to do his.
Finally, her life is a testimony to others (Prov. 31:31). Her husband and children acknowledge her value and praise her, but so do the other people in the community. Even the leaders in the city gate recognize her good works and honor her. "A kindhearted woman gains respect" (11:16 niv). God sees to it that the woman who faithfully serves Him and her family is properly honored, and certainly she will have even greater honor when she stands before her Lord.
A husband and wife should complement each other as they each seek to fulfill their roles in the will of God. Wise is that husband who recognizes his wife's strengths and lets her compensate for his weaknesses. Doing this isn't a sign of personal failure, nor is it rebellion against the divine order (1 Cor. 11:3). Both leadership and submission in a home are evidences of love and obedience, and the one doesn't nullify the other.
This beautiful tribute to the godly wife and mother tells every Christian woman what she can become if she follows the Lord. It also describes for every Christian man the kind of wife for whom he ought to be looking and praying. But it also reminds the prospective husband that he'd better be walking with the Lord and
She is confident as she faces the future (Prov. 31:25).
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children excel in music, sports, and social activities; I trust they're even more concerned that their children excel in knowing and obeying the Word of God.
growing in his spiritual life so that he will be worthy of such a wife if and when God brings her to him.
2. Parents and Children In ancient Israel, a Jewish husband and wife would no more consider aborting a child than they would consider killing each other. Their philosophy was "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward" (Ps. 127:3). To them, marriage was a "bank" into which God dropped precious children who were His investment for the future, and it was up to the father and mother to raise those children in the fear of God. Children were rewards not punishments, opportunities not obstacles. They aren't burdens; they're investments that produce dividends.
Every parent should pray and work so that their children will have spiritual wisdom when the time comes for them to leave the home. "A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother" (10:1 nkjv; see 15:20; 23:15–16, 24–25; 27:11; 29:3). "A wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke" (13:1 nkjv). In my pastoral ministry, I have often had to share the grief of parents and grandparents whose children and grandchildren turned their backs on the Word of God and the godly example given in the home. In some instances, the children, like the Prodigal Son, "came to themselves" and returned to the Lord, but they brought with them memories and scars that would torture them for the rest of their lives.
Along with the basic necessities of physical life, what should the godly home provide for the children?
Example. "The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him" (Prov. 20:7 niv), and we've already considered the influence of the godly mother's example (31:28). British statesman Edmund Burke called example "the school of mankind," and its first lessons are learned in the home even before the children can speak. Benjamin Franklin said that example was "the best sermon," which suggests that the way parents act in the home teaches their children more about God than what the children hear in Sunday school and church.
Loving discipline. Many modern educators and parents revolt against the biblical teaching about discipline. They tell us that "Spare the rod and spoil the child" is nothing but brutal prehistoric pedagogy that cripples the child for life.3 But nowhere does the Bible teach blind brutality when it comes to disciplining children. The emphasis is on love, because this is the way God disciplines His own children. "My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest His correction; for whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights" (3:11–12 nkjv; 13:24). Do we know more about raising children than God does?
When parents walk with God, they give their children a heritage that will enrich them throughout their lives. Godliness puts beauty within the home and protection around the home. "He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge" (14:26 niv). The world wants to penetrate that fortress and kidnap our children and grandchildren, but godly parents keep the walls strong and the spiritual weapons ready.
Discipline has to do with correcting character faults in a child while there is still time to do it (22:15). Better the child is corrected by a parent than by a law enforcement officer in a correctional institution. "Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction" (19:18 nkjv). I prefer the New International Version translation of the second clause: "do not be a willing party to his death." A vote against discipline is a vote in favor of premature death. (See 23:13–14.)
Instruction. "My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother" (1:8 nkjv; 6:20). The book of Proverbs is primarily the record of a father's instructions to his children, instructions that they were to hear and heed all their lives. "Cease listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge" (19:27 nkjv). "My son, keep my words, and treasure my commands within you" (7:1 nkjv).
What a tragedy when children are left to themselves, not knowing where or what the boundaries are and what the consequences of rebellion will be! I may be wrong, but I have a suspicion that many people who can't discipline their children have a hard time disciplining themselves. If you want to enjoy your children all your life, start by lovingly disciplining them early. "The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother" (29:15 nkjv). "Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul" (29:17 nkjv).
The man who deliberately walked into the trap of the adulteress did so because he ignored what his parents had taught him. "How I have hated instruction, and my heart despised correction! I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me!" (5:12–13). As we get older, it's remarkable how much more intelligent our parents and teachers become!
Proverbs 22:6 is a religious "rabbit's foot" that many sorrowing parents and grandparents desperately resort to when children stray from the Lord: "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." They interpret this to mean, "they will stray away for a time but then come back," but that isn't what it says. It says that if they're raised in the wis-
The Bible is the basic textbook in the home. It was once the basic textbook in the educational system, but even if that were still true, the Bible in the school can't replace the Bible in the home. I note that many modern parents sacrifice time and money to help their
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niv), or who are dishonest (29:27). Believers need to heed Psalm 1:1–2 and 2 Corinthians 6:14–18.
dom and way of the Lord, they won't stray away at all. Even in old age, they will follow the wisdom of God.
The qualities of true friendship. I've already mentioned love, and true love will produce loyalty. "A friend loves at all times" (Prov. 17:17 niv) and "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (18:24 niv). Sometimes our friends do more for us in an emergency than our relatives do! By the way, this loyalty ought to extend to our parents' friends. "Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father" (27:10 niv). Long-time family friends can be a blessing from one generation to the next.
Certainly it's true that children raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord can stray from God, but they can never get away from the prayers of their parents or the seed that's been planted in their hearts. Parents should never despair but keep on praying and trusting God to bring wayward children to their senses. But that isn't what Proverbs 22:6 is speaking about. Like the other proverbs, it's not making an ironclad guarantee but is laying down a general principle.4
In the autumn of 1993, we replaced a pin oak that a tornado had ripped out of our front yard, and the nursery people attached three guy-wires to the trunk of the new tree to make sure it would grow straight. They also taped metal rods to two limbs that were growing down instead of straight out. If you don't do these things while the tree is young and pliable, you'll never be able to do it at all. "As the twig is bent, so is the tree inclined," says an old proverb, a paraphrase of Proverbs 22:6. God has ordained that parents are older and more experienced than their children and should therefore lovingly guide their children and prepare them for adult life. If any of their children end up sluggards (10:5), gluttons (28:7), fornicators (29:3), rebels (19:26; 20:20; 30:11–12, 17; see Deut. 21:18–21), and robbers (28:24), it should be in spite of the parents' training and not because of it.
True friends know how to keep a confidence. "If you argue your case with a neighbor, do not betray another man's confidence, or he who hears it may shame you and you will never lose your bad reputation" (25:9–10 niv). If you have a disagreement with somebody, don't bring another person into the discussion by betraying confidence, because you'll end up losing both your reputation ("You can't trust him with anything confidential!") and your friend who trusted you with his private thoughts. "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret" (11:13 niv; see 20:19). If we aren't careful, gossip can ruin a friendship (16:28), so the wise thing to do is to cover offenses with love (17:9; 1 Peter 4:8).
This leads to the next important quality for true friends and good neighbors: the ability to control the tongue. "With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape" (Prov. 11:9 niv). Don't believe the first thing you hear about a matter, because it may be wrong (18:17); remember that "a man of understanding holds his tongue" (11:12 niv). If your neighbor or friend speaks falsely of you, talk to him about it privately, but don't seek to avenge yourself by lying about him (24:28–29; 25:18). And beware of people who cause trouble and then say, "I was only joking" (26:18–19).
3. Friends and Neighbors G. K. Chesterton said that God commanded us to love both our enemies and our neighbors because usually they were the same people. My wife and I have always been blessed with wonderful neighbors whom we consider friends; that seems to be the biblical ideal, for the Hebrew word (ra'a) can mean "friend" or "neighbor." In this survey, we'll include both meanings; for what's true of friends ought to be true of neighbors.
Friends and neighbors must be lovingly honest with one another. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (27:6). True friendship in the Lord can't be built on deception; even if "the truth hurts," it can never harm if it's given in love. Better that we "speak the truth in love" (Eph. 4:15), because the Spirit can use truth and love to build character, while the devil uses lies and flattery to tear things down (Prov. 29:5). "He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward than he who flatters with the tongue" (28:23). It has well been said that flattery is manipulation, not communication; what honest person would want to manipulate a friend?
The basis for friendship. Proverbs makes it clear that true friendship is based on love, because only love will endure the tests that friends experience as they go through life together. "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (17:17 nkjv). It's possible to have many companions and no real friends. "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (18:24 niv). Friendship is something that has to be cultivated, and its roots must go deep.
God's people must be especially careful in choosing their friends. "The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray" (12:26 nkjv). "He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed" (13:20). Friendships that are based on money (6:1–5; 14:20; 19:4, 6–7) or sin (16:29–30; 1:10–19) are destined to be disappointing. So are friendships with people who have bad tempers (22:24–25), who speak foolishly (14:7), who rebel against authority (24:21–22
We must never take our friends for granted and think that they will immediately forgive our offenses, even though forgiveness is the right thing for Christians. "A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle" (18:19). It's strange but true that some of God's people will forgive offenses from unbelievers that they would never forgive if a Christian friend committed them. It
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days of Rome (Qui parcit virge, odit filium = "Who spares the rod, hates [his] son") and has been in English literature since the year 1000. Those exact words aren't found in Scripture, but Proverbs 13:24 comes closest: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes [early]." The Roman proverb no doubt comes from the Hebrew proverb, which is much older. 4 In The New American Commentary, Duane A. Garrett translates the verse, "Train up a child in a manner befitting a child, and even as he grows old he will not turn from it" (Nashville: Broadman Press, 1993), vol. 14, 188. See also Gleason Archer's explanation in The Encyclopedia of Bible Difficulties (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan, 1982), 252–53. We don't know how much spiritual instruction Solomon received from his father, David, but when Solomon was old, he turned away from the Lord (1 Kings 11:1–8). Some students think that Ecclesiastes is his "confession of faith," written after he returned to the Lord, but the book doesn't say so and it isn't wise to speculate.
takes a diamond to cut a diamond, and some Christians have a way of putting up defenses that even the church can't break through. Matthew 18:15–35 gives us the steps to take when such things happen, and our Lord warns us that an unforgiving spirit only puts us into prison!
Faithful friends and neighbors counsel and encourage each other. "Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man's friend gives delight by hearty counsel" (Prov. 27:9 nkjv). The images of oil and perfume are fine when the discussion is pleasant, but what's it like when friends disagree? "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend" (27:17). If we're not disagreeable, we usually learn more by disagreeing than by giving in and refusing to say what we really think, "speaking the truth in love" (Eph. 4:15).
Friends and neighbors must exercise tact and be sensitive to each other's feelings. If we spend too much time together, we may wear out our welcome. "Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house, lest he become weary of you and hate you" (Prov. 25:17 nkjv). I've known people who spent so much time with each other that they eventually destroyed their friendship. If we're going to grow, we need space; space comes from privacy and solitude. Even husbands and wives must respect each other's privacy and not be constantly together if their love is to mature.
CHAPTER NINE (Human Speech) A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH A
judge speaks some words and a guilty prisoner is taken to a cell on death row. A gossip makes a phone call and a reputation is blemished or perhaps ruined. A cynical professor makes a snide remark in a lecture and a student's faith is destroyed.
"He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it will be counted a curse to him" (27:14 nkjv). Beware the "friend" who loudly and frequently praises you and tells you what a good friend you are, because true friendship doesn't depend on such antics—especially if he wakes you up to do it! Love is sensitive to other people's feelings and needs, and true friends try to say the right thing at the right time in the right way (25:20).
Never underestimate the power of words. For every word in Hitler's book Mein Kampf, 125 people died in World War II.1 Solomon was right: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Prov. 18:21). No wonder James compared the tongue to a destroying fire, a dangerous beast, and a deadly poison (James 3:5–8). Speech is a matter of life or death.
A happy family, encouraging friends, and good neighbors: What blessings these are from the Lord! Let's be sure we do our part to make these blessings a reality in our lives and the lives of others.
When you summarize what Proverbs teaches about human speech, you end up with four important propositions: (1) speech is an awesome gift from God; (2) speech can be used to do good; (3) speech can be used to do evil; and (4) only God can help us use speech to do good.
Notes 1 In marriage, two people become one flesh (Gen. 2:24); therefore, if one partner dies, the marriage is dissolved (Rom. 7:1–3) and the living partner may remarry "in the Lord" (1 Cor. 7:39). The book of Proverbs doesn't whitewash the problems that can be faced in marriage, but nowhere does it deal with divorce. It magnifies God's original plan for marriage and the home, and that's what we should do today. People who get married with one hand on an escape hatch aren't likely to have a happy home. 2 Jesus makes it clear in Matthew 19:11–12 that not everybody is supposed to get married, and Paul states that singleness is a gift from God just as much as is marriage (1 Cor. 7:7). I once heard the gifted Christian educator Henrietta Mears say that the only reason she wasn't married was because the apostle Paul was dead! 3 The proverb "Spare the rod and spoil the child" goes back to the
1. Speech Is an Awesome Gift from God Our older daughter's first complete sentence was, "Where Daddy go?" Considering how full my schedule was in those days, it was an appropriate question for her to ask. But, who taught Carolyn how to understand and speak those words? And who explained to her how to put together a sentence that asked a question?
"The ability [to speak] comes so naturally that we are apt to forget what a miracle it is," writes Professor Steven Pinker. "Language is not a cultural artifact that we learn the way we learn to tell time or how the federal government works. Instead, it is a distinct piece of the biological makeup of our brains."2 Christian believers would say that when God created our first
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(2 Tim. 4:3). Spiritual leaders are to use sound doctrine to exhort the careless and rebuke the deceivers (Titus 1:9–10; 2:1). The words of Jesus are "wholesome [healthy] words," but the words of false teachers are "sick" (1 Tim. 6:3–4, see niv). "Their teaching will spread like gangrene" (2 Tim. 2:17 niv), but God's words are "life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh" (Prov. 4:22 nkjv).
parents, He gave them the ability to speak and understand words. Made in the image of a God who communicates, human beings have the wonderful gift of speech. "The answer of the tongue is from the Lord" (16:1).
God spoke to Adam and gave him instructions about life in the garden, which he later shared with Eve; they both understood what God told them (Gen. 2:15–17; 3:2–3). Adam was able to name the animals (2:18–20) and to give a descriptive name to his bride (vv. 22–24). Satan used words to deceive Adam and Eve (3:1–5), and Eve must have used words to persuade her husband to eat (v. 6). The Garden of Eden was a place of communication because God gave Adam and Eve the ability to understand and use words.
The Christian who recognizes how awesome is the gift of speech will not abuse that gift but will dedicate it to the glory of God. The New Testament scholar Bishop B. F. Westcott wrote, "Every year makes me tremble at the daring with which people speak of spiritual things." We all need to heed the words of Solomon: "Do not be rash with your mouth, and let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven, and you on earth; therefore let your words be few" (Eccl. 5:2 nkjv).
The images used in Proverbs for human speech indicate the value of this divine gift that we not only take for granted but too often waste and abuse. Wise words are compared to gold and silver. "The tongue of the just is like choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth" (Prov. 10:20). "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear" (25:11–12 niv). Our words ought to be as balanced, beautiful, and valuable as the most precious jewelry; we ought to work as hard as the craftsman to make them that way. (See Eccl. 12:9–11.)
2. Speech Can Be Used to Do Good No matter what may be wrong with us physically, when the doctor examines us, he or she often says, "Stick out your tongue!" This principle applies to the Christian life, for what the tongue does reveals what the heart contains. Inconsistent speech bears witness to a divided heart, for it is "out of the abundance of the heart" that the mouth speaks (Matt. 12:34). "Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing," wrote James. "My brethren, these things ought not so to be" (James 3:10).
Words are also like refreshing water. "The mouth of a righteous man is a well [fountain] of life" (Prov. 10:11). "The words of a man's mouth are deep waters; the wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook" (18:4 nkjv). When we listen to and appropriate the words of a godly person, it's like taking a drink of refreshing water. "The law of the wise is a fountain of life" (13:14), and "the fear of the Lord is a fountain of life" (14:27). But it isn't enough for the wise to speak to us; we must be prepared to listen. "Understanding is a wellspring of life to him who has it" (16:22 nkjv). The soil of the heart must be prepared and the seed of the Word planted, or the water won't do us much good.
What we say can help or hurt other people. When we reviewed some of the images of speech found in Proverbs, we learned that our words can bring beauty and value, nourishment, refreshment, and healing to the inner person. But the awesome power of words reveals itself in other positive ways.
Our words can bring peace instead of war. "A soft [gentle] answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Prov. 15:1 nkjv). "A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel" (v. 18 niv).5 Solomon isn't advising us to compromise the truth and say that what's wrong is really right. Rather, he's counseling us to have a gentle spirit and a conciliatory attitude when we disagree with others. This can defuse the situation and make it easier for us to settle the matter peacefully.
Right words are like nourishing, health-giving food. "The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit" (15:4 niv). What a wonderful thing it is to say the right words and help to heal a broken spirit! The phrase "tree of life" means "source of life" and goes back to Genesis 2:9.3 "The lips of the righteous feed many" (Prov. 10:21; see 18:20). "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones" (16:24 nkjv; see Ps. 119:103). "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing" (Prov. 12:18 niv; see 12:14; 13:2).
Once again, the key issue is the condition of the heart. If there's war in the heart, then our words will be destructive missiles instead of healing medicines. "But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth" (James 3:14 nkjv). Earthly wisdom advises us to fight for our rights and make every disagreement a win/lose situation, but heavenly wisdom seeks for a win/win situation that strengthens the "unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace" (Eph. 4:3). "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield,6 full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy" (James 3:17 nkjv). Applying this
The apostle Paul considered biblical doctrine to be "healthy doctrine" ("sound doctrine," kjv)4 that nourishes the believer's spiritual life. He warned Timothy to beware of anything that was "contrary to sound [healthy] doctrine" (1 Tim. 1:10), and he reminded him that the time would come when professed Christians wouldn't "endure sound [healthy] doctrine"
Proverbs
obey Titus 2:3–5, or we will end up with an uninstructed church.
wisdom means taking the attitude that's described in Philippians 2:1–12, the attitude that was practiced by Jesus Christ.
Our words can rescue the perishing. "A true witness delivers souls, but a deceitful witness speaks lies" (Prov. 14:25 nkjv). While this verse can be applied to our own personal witness for Christ in rescuing the lost (Acts 1:8), the context is that of a court of law. An accused criminal in Israel could be condemned on the testimony of two or three witnesses; if the case involved a capital crime, the witnesses had to be the first to cast the stones (Deut. 17:6–7). The law forbade the bearing of false witness (Ex. 20:16; 23:2; Deut. 5:20), and anyone found guilty of perjury was given the punishment that the accused would have received (Deut. 19:16–18). If my testimony could save an innocent person from death, and I refused to speak, then my silence would be a terrible sin. "Deliver those who are drawn toward death, and hold back those stumbling to the slaughter. If you say, 'Surely we did not know this,' does not He who weighs the hearts consider it? He who keeps your soul, does He not know it? And will He not render to each man according to his deeds?" (Prov. 24:11–12 nkjv). Whether it's rescuing prisoners from execution or lost sinners from eternal judgment, we can't plead ignorance if we do nothing.