Chapter Sixteen: Kindness and Goodness
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Kindness and Goodness
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
GALATIANS 6:10
Kindness and goodness are so closely related that they are often used interchangeably. These two traits finish a natural progression in godly character: patience denotes a godly response to ill-treatment; gentleness defines a godly demeanor toward people at all times; kindness and goodness involve an active desire to recognize and meet the needs of others.
Kindness is a sincere desire for the happiness of others; goodness is the activity calculated to advance that happiness. Kindness is the inner disposition, created by the Holy Spirit, that causes us to be sensitive to the needs of others, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual. Goodness is kindness in action —words and deeds. Because of this close relationship, we often use the two words interchangeably.
I tend to think of kindness in terms of our awareness of those around us and the thoughtfulness that we can express to them, almost incidentally. Kindness may be as simple as a smile to a store clerk, a thank-you to a waitress, an encouraging word to an elderly person, or a word of recognition to a small child. None of these expressions is costly in time or money, but they do require a sincere interest in the happiness of those around us. Apart from God’s grace, most of us naturally tend to be concerned about our responsibilities, our problems, our plans. But the person who has grown in the grace of kindness has expanded his thinking outside of himself and his interests and has developed a genuine interest in the happiness and well-being of those around him.
Goodness, on the other hand, involves deliberate deeds that are helpful to others. Although the Bible uses the word good to refer to what is upright, honorable, and noble about our ethical or moral character, it also uses it to describe actions that are not only good in themselves but also beneficial to others.
George Bethune well observes, “The best practical definition of goodness is given in the life and character of Jesus Christ: ‘Jesus of Nazareth, who went about doing good.’ [Acts 10:38] So far as we resemble Jesus, in his devotion to the welfare of men, do we possess the grace of goodness.”[45] Do we aspire to be Christlike? Then we must be continually sensitive to how we might meet the needs of those around us.
GOD’S UNFAILING KINDNESS
We need to constantly keep in mind that our goal in practicing godliness is to grow in both our devotion to God and our likeness to Him in character and conduct. The New Testament has much to say about the kindness of God. The first mention is in Luke 6: Jesus says that God “is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” Next we find that God’s kindness leads sinners toward repentance (see Romans 2:4). In Ephesians 2:7, in the context of our utter lostness and sin, Paul speaks of the incomparable riches of God’s grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus. He draws a similar contrast in Titus 3: After describing our lost condition, he declares, “When the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us.” It seems the Bible goes out of its way to portray the kindness of God in stark contrast to man’s total undeservedness.
What lesson can we draw from these accounts of the kindness of God? He is kind to all men —the ungrateful, the wicked, the utterly lost and hopeless, the rebellious —without distinction. If we are to become Godlike, we, too, must be kind to all men.
Our natural inclination is to show kindness to only those for whom we have some natural affinity —family, friends, likable neighbors. But God shows kindness to those who are most despicable —the ungrateful and wicked. Have you ever tried to be kind to someone who was ungrateful? Unless God’s grace was working in your heart in a significant way, your reaction to his ingratitude may well have been, “I’ll never do anything for him again!” But God doesn’t turn His back on the ungrateful. And so Jesus says to us, “Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back” (Luke 6:35).
We need to develop a kind disposition, to be sensitive to others and truly desire their happiness. But sensitivity alone is not enough; the grace of goodness impels us to take action to meet those needs.
CREATED TO DO GOOD
Most of us are familiar with Ephesians 2:8-9, which teaches that salvation is by grace, through faith, and not by works. But we should be just as familiar with the next verse: “We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
This is an amazing statement. Not only are we created in Christ Jesus —born anew for the purpose of doing good works —but we are created to do good works that God prepared in advance for us to do. Before we came to know Christ, and, according to Psalm 139:16, before we were even born, God prepared certain good works for us to do.
The New American Standard Bible provides a more literal translation of verse 10: “We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” The word walk suggests our common, everyday experience, not the unusual and heroic. We all have a tendency to rise to the special occasions of our lives, but God has created us to do our good works in the midst of the humdrum of daily living. Bethune quotes an earlier writer as saying, “Much of the happiness of the world depends upon what are termed little things; and it is rare that God honors us with heroic and famous distinctions in doing good.”[46]
Paul aptly illustrates the ordinariness of most good deeds in 1 Timothy 5:9-10. He says that in order for a widow to qualify for church assistance, she must be “well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds” (emphasis added). None of these items on Paul’s list is especially exciting or glamorous; they are simply opportunities to do good in the course of daily living. Although this particular passage applies specifically to women, the principle applies equally to men. Most of our opportunities for good deeds will arise out of the course of our daily lives. The challenge to us is to be alert for these opportunities and to see them not as interruptions or inconveniences but as occasions for doing the good works God has planned for us.
DOING GOOD AT WORK
Perhaps one of the most obvious areas in which God has prepared good works for us to do is our life’s calling or vocation. The good works God has prepared for us individually are consistent with the abilities He has given us and the circumstances in which He has placed us. When there is something wrong with my car, and a qualified mechanic fixes it, that is a good deed, in my thinking. If he did it as a part of his calling before God and as a service to his fellow man, it is also a good deed in God’s sight, even though he was paid for his work.
Most honorable vocations exist to meet the needs of people. God has ordained His world so that people with various abilities meet various needs. We should think of our vocation, therefore, not as a necessary evil to pay the bills, nor even as an opportunity to become rich, but as the primary path of our Christian walk wherein God has planned good deeds for us to do. Most of us spend half or more of our waking hours at our vocations. If we fail to find opportunities to do good works there, we are throwing away half of our lives as far as fulfilling God’s purpose for us here on earth. If we feel our particular job does not allow us to genuinely meet the needs of people, we ought to prayerfully consider a change.
But let me be very clear at this point. I am talking about meeting the ordinary needs of people —for clothing, transportation, education, health care, and so on. I am not talking about changing jobs to go into so-called full-time Christian work. If God has called you to that, wonderful! But that is not the only arena of life in which God prepares good works for us.
Evaluate your work situation; if you are a student, consider the work you are thinking of pursuing. Does it lend itself to doing the good deeds God has planned for you?
What about your attitude toward your job? Do you view the job as an opportunity to do many of the good deeds God has planned for you by meeting the needs of people, or do you view it as a necessary evil to earn the money you need? If we are to grow in the grace of goodness, we must have the right attitude about our vocation.
Many women, of course, do not work outside the home and may wonder how this section on vocation applies to them. For those of you in this situation, homemaking is your vocation and a rich arena in which to do those good deeds God has called you to do. Few things are more difficult than making a home and rearing children. The dishes, the diapers, the washing, the cooking and cleaning may at times seem insignificant and distasteful, yet few, if any, vocations render greater benefits to those they serve than godly homemaking. You also may have greater opportunity for good deeds outside the home, such as ministering to the sick and lonely, providing hospitality, preparing meals for others, or caring for someone else’s children. Review 1 Timothy 5:10 to see how Paul expected homemakers to be involved in good deeds beyond their own families.
DOING GOOD AT HOME
In Galatians 6:10, Paul tells us to “do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Our good deeds are to be scattered upon all men, Christian and non-Christian. We are to follow the example of our heavenly Father, who “causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matthew 5:45).
Nevertheless, there is in Paul’s instruction a priority of responsibility: first believers, then nonbelievers. I believe we can infer from this order a similar priority involving our families. We are to do good to all men, especially members of our own families. Paul told Timothy, “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8). Good deeds should begin at home. If we are out doing good deeds for others while neglecting the needs of our spouse, our parents, or our children, we are not practicing the grace of goodness.
I recently heard of a course on biblical marriage in which one of the lessons is titled “Who Takes Out the Garbage?” That may be a humorous title to grab our attention, but the author is on to something. Mundane household duties are sore points in many homes, even Christian homes. But for the Christian growing in the grace of goodness, the distasteful and despised duties of the home provide the opportunity of doing good deeds for those he loves most.
One of the rich heritages of The Navigators, the organization I work for, is the emphasis on serving others that our founder Dawson Trotman built into the very fabric of the work from its earliest days. As a result, Navigator discipleship training always includes serving others. But when I have had opportunity to address young people on this subject, I encourage them to begin at home. It is a lot easier to clean up after a weekend conference than to clean out Dad’s garage back home. Somehow it seems more spiritual to babysit some other lady’s children for free than to help Mom with the dishes after Sunday dinner.
Husbands, most of us have a lot of growing to do in this area of good deeds at home. There are a lot of little things we can do in the house, as well as around it, to be more sensitive in meeting our wives’ needs. Who does take out the garbage at your house? The best teaching is by example. If we would train our children to do good deeds (and they must be trained —they do not learn it naturally), then we must be examples to them. I wonder how many boys growing up in Christian homes ever have the privilege of seeing their dad do the dishes or mop the kitchen floor? Let us do good to all, but especially to our own family.
Good deeds in our vocations and in our homes are important, but there is still a big world out there for each of us, with numerous opportunities for doing good. Thus far I have emphasized meeting the physical needs of people; but being a disposition to promote the happiness of others, goodness certainly directs much of its energies to the spiritual and eternal needs of others. Here again, God has prepared good works for each of us, consistent with our gifts and circumstances. We need to pray, “Lord, what will You have me to do?” and then we should do it.
Although we do need to observe Paul’s priority in Galatians 6 for “the family of believers,” let us not overlook the “all people” referred to in the same verse. Because opportunities for doing good are virtually unlimited, we must be sensitive to God’s Holy Spirit as He selects opportunities for us.
One kind of behavior we must guard against is the impulsive and often superficial response to the needs of others. On this point Bethune very wisely remarks,
True goodness is not merely impulsive, but rational and considerate —It will therefore pause, and be at some trouble to inquire what service, and how best may it be rendered. . . . Goodness should be willing to give time, and thought, and patience, and even labor; not mere money and kind words and compassionate looks.[47]
True goodness is self-sacrificing, not only of money but of time. Like the Macedonian Christians who gave “even beyond their ability” (2 Corinthians 8:3), the Christian who wants to do good for others will often have to give time he does not have. Often this is an act of faith just as much as giving money we think we cannot afford. We will always be too busy to help others unless we truly grasp the importance God puts on our doing good deeds for others.
One of the less obvious but more critical needs that many (shall I say most?) people have is for someone to listen to them. They don’t need our advice as much as our attention. A friend of mine went through a personal tragedy. I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I hesitated to contact him. Finally I called and invited him to lunch. For an hour I sat and listened —no advice, just listened. The only time I talked was to draw him out. One thing he said stuck in my mind: “It really meant a lot to me when you called last night.” We hadn’t even gotten together yet. Just the phone call and the invitation to lunch encouraged him; just realizing that someone cared meant a lot to him.
I believe most people, Christians as well as non-Christians, are so starved for the genuine interest of one other person that a little bit of concern from someone who cares goes a mighty long way. One of the most plaintive statements in the Bible is David’s cry in Psalm 142:4, “No one cares for my soul” (NASB). Do you know someone who possibly feels that way? If so, you have an opportunity to do good to that person by saying, “I just want you to know I care.”
True goodness is not only self-sacrificing, it is also untiring. It does not “become weary in doing good” (Galatians 6:9). It is one thing to do good in a few, or even in a number of, isolated instances; it is quite another to face cheerfully the prospect of doing some particular deed of goodness day in and day out for an interminable period of time, particularly if those deeds are taken for granted by the recipients. But true goodness does not look to the recipients, nor even to the results, of its deeds for its reward. It looks to God alone, and, finding His smile of approval, it gains the needed strength to carry on.
Perhaps one of the most sobering statements in the Bible is found in Hebrews 12:14: “Without holiness no one will see the Lord.” It is not my profession but my holiness that proves the validity of my Christian experience and my possession of eternal life. But Jesus’ account of the Judgment Day recorded in Matthew 25 is just as sobering. There the test is good deeds: feeding the hungry, giving water to the thirsty, clothing the needy, showing hospitality to the stranger, attending to the sick, and visiting those in prison. Jesus is teaching in that passage not that doing good deeds earns our admittance to heaven but that they are necessary and vital evidences that we are bound for heaven. Bethune explains,
And so in the judgment day, the inquiry will be made not into our opinions or professions alone, but into our deeds, as proving the correctness of our faith and the sincerity of our professions. Never can we know that we are in the right way, except we walk in the footsteps of Him, who did good in all his life and death. He came from heaven to do good on earth, that we in doing good might tread the path to heaven.[48]
Without holiness, no one will see the Lord. The essence of Matthew 25:31-46 is that without goodness, no one will see the Lord. Both of these thoughts are very sobering to the one who takes seriously the words of Scripture.
WATCHING FOR OPPORTUNITIES
One objective in studying godly character traits is to become more conscious of the vital importance of some of the perhaps lesser-known qualities. Have you ever reflected, for example, upon how important good deeds are to Jesus, as He indicates in Matthew 25:31-46? What better stimulation to good deeds can we have than to meditate on that passage of Scripture from time to time? Or you might prayerfully consider the truth of Ephesians 2:10, asking God to make clear to you some of the good works that He has prepared for you to do.
Consider your gifts, your talents, your vocation, and your circumstances as a special trust from God with which to serve Him by serving others. As Peter says, “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms” (1 Peter 4:10). Remember that you are responsible not for doing all the good that needs to be done in the world but for doing what God has planned for you.
Remember also that most opportunities for doing good come across the ordinary path of our day. Don’t look for the spectacular; few people ever have the opportunity to pull a victim from the wreckage of a flaming automobile. All of us have the opportunity to administer the kind or encouraging word, to do the little, perhaps unseen, deed that makes life more pleasant for someone else.
Accept the cost of good deeds in time, thought, and effort, but remember that opportunities for doing good are not interruptions in God’s plan for us, but part of that plan. We always have time to do what God wants us to do.
Acknowledge your need of His divine grace to enlarge your soul and enable you to look beyond yourself to the concerns and needs of those around you. Then come to His throne with confidence to receive the grace you need to grow in the fruit of kindness and goodness. May it be said of each of us as it was of Dorcas that we are “always doing good and helping the poor” (Acts 9:36).