1. This book was written as a conversation. Who would you like to invite into the conversation by reading this book and discussing it with you?

2. Do a quick assessment of your church’s efforts at young adult ministry. What has worked? What hasn’t? What worked for a little while but no longer does?

3. Take an inventory of the experience you bring to the table, either as someone who’s tried to lead a young adult ministry or someone who’s been thinking of starting one.

1. What do you know or what have you heard about young adults and the church?

2. How would you describe the current state of affairs when it comes to your church’s efforts at young adult ministry?

3. What has been normal in your own ministry context in conversations about young adults?

4. After being introduced to the six mistakes, which one surprises you the most?

5. Which mistakes have been the most common in your congregation?

6. Of all the statistics you read in this chapter, which, if any, surprises you and why?

1. Which of the five traditional markers of adulthood still apply to young adults today?

2. Which of those markers seem irrelevant to this particular generation of young adults?

3. Do you have any personal examples of the lengthening adolescence, whether for you, a family member, or a friend?

4. Name all the young adults you know personally.

5. How many young adults would you guess the average leader at your church knows personally?

6. What has your church already done to get to know young adults better?

1. What attempts has your church made to attract young adults to attend?

2. If your church has experimented with a different worship experience or style in order to engage young adults, what have been the results?

3. Do an inventory of your church’s weekly worship experiences. What about those experiences might be attractive to a typical young adult, and what might repel them?

4. In your worship services, what’s the average age of the people in upfront leadership?

5. Assuming that your church wants more young adults to attend worship, what changes do you think the church would be willing to make? What changes are off-limits?

1. This chapter suggests it’s a mistake to add young adult ministry to a youth director’s list of responsibilities. In what ways do you agree? In what ways do you disagree?

2. How would your church define success for its young adult ministry?

3. Review the statistics from the Sticky Faith research. What is surprising about these findings?

4. How have you seen these findings proven or contradicted in your congregation?

5. What is your model for reaching young adults, and how closely does it resemble your model for reaching teenagers?

6. In what ways is it essential that the approaches for youth ministry and young adult ministry are distinctly different?

1. List the programming options your church has tried for young adults. What has worked well? What hasn’t worked so well?

2. What have been the long-term results of your church’s young adult program?

3. What opportunities has your church created for young adults to intentionally interact with the larger congregation?

4. What programs has your church created for young adults that separate them from other generations in the church?

5. Would you say your church’s focus is more on activating young adults for mission or getting them to attend some program?

1. If young adults in your congregation were interested in taking on a leadership role, what path would they have to take? How difficult would that path be for them to find?

2. Who are the young leaders you know in and around your congregation?

3. What strategy does your church have for apprenticing young leaders?

4. What young adults do you know who are leading in the world around you?

5. What would have to change to give young adults more access to decision-making and leadership in your church?

1. What might cause your congregation to give up on the vision of developing a thriving young adult ministry?

2. Who are the people in your church who won’t give up on young adult ministry?

3. Taken as a whole, how would you rate the level of hopefulness among your church’s leadership about building a sustainable ministry to young adults? (10 = We can do this! 1 = The end is nigh!)

4. What obstacles stand in the way of your church making young adult ministry a priority right now?

5. Write an imaginary “Debbie Downer” list of reasons why young adult ministry will never work in your church.

1. This chapter says fixing mistakes isn’t enough. Do you agree?

2. From this chapter, what makes you most excited? What makes you most hesitant?

3. This chapter sets out the six paradoxes to building ministry with young adults. Which one seems to be the easiest for your church to accomplish? What would be your first step?

4. Which one feels the closest to impossible? Why?

1. Where have you seen young adults do something new or creative to make the world a better place?

2. When was the last time your church launched a new ministry initiative?

3. In your church, what’s the general response to risk taking?

4. What problems exist in your community that young adults might be passionate about solving?

5. Which people in your congregation might be inspired by the opportunity to partner with young adults in developing creative solutions to a local problem?

1. What “impulsive purchase” in young adult ministry might you or your church be tempted to make?

2. What young adult programs have you tried that have been met with less-than-desirable results?

3. What mission opportunities is your congregation currently engaged in that could be natural to invite young adults into?

4. What young adults could be champions for a particular mission the church currently engages in?

5. What missions besides those your church currently supports seem like the most organic fit for the young adults you know?

1. When you were a young adult, what older adults helped shape your identity and how?

2. In what ways has your church engaged (or failed to engage) older generations in ministry with young adults?

3. Why do older generations in your church avoid engaging with young adults?

4. Can you name any examples of older adults who’ve already effectively built relationships with young adults?

5. Who in your church are the most likely candidates for being part of your young adult ministry team?

1. After this introduction to systems thinking, what questions or wonderings do you have?

2. As you look through the list of systems, which, if any, are already in place for your church’s work with young adults?

3. In what ways does a systems approach match your church’s culture? In what ways does it look totally different?

4. If your team could start working on a single system today, which do you think would have the greatest impact?

5. What is the biggest obstacle your team faces in building the essential systems of a sustainable young adult ministry?

1. To what kinds of activities do you see young adults in your community committing to sacrificially?

2. In what ways has your church tried to engage young adults by lowering the bar for their commitment?

3. What young adults do you know who would respond well to the challenge to a new level of ministry engagement or responsibility?

4. Where in your church’s ministry might a young adult take on a significant leadership role?

5. If your church were to launch a more high-commitment opportunity for young adults, what might it look like? Which three young adults would be your first-round draft picks?

1. Have you witnessed any seasons of transition in your church’s ministry with young adults in the past?

2. What, if anything, does your church currently do to celebrate young adult transitions?

3. What are some ways you can celebrate young people’s transitions and label them as a “sending” instead of a “losing”?

4. What small cohort of young adults can you gather in this season?

5. What initiatives can you develop to regularly, personally, and creatively invite new young adults into your church community?

1. Tell about something you’re glad you stuck with despite discouragement and doubt. What happened?

2. In the process of thinking about and developing a healthy young adult ministry, when have you already been discouraged?

3. Where is your church’s ministry in the steps listed in this chapter? Did you miss any that you need to go back and pay attention to?

4. Which step feels the most challenging for you and your team right now? Why?

5. Who on your team is willing to commit the next five years to the process of building a thriving young adult ministry in your church?

1. As you reach the end of this book, how do you feel about the task before you?

2. How comfortable are you with the prospect of failing forward with your young adult ministry?

3. On a scale of 1 to 10, how resilient is your young adult ministry team?

4. How might you seek and engage the support of your church’s senior leadership for this project?

5. If Scott and Mark were in your group, what questions would you have for them? (If you really want to know what they’d say, feel free to email them: [email protected], [email protected])