12 Paradox 4: Reach One Young Adult at aTime Through aSystem to Reach Them All

12

Paradox 4

Reach One Young Adult at a Time

Through a System to Reach Them All

Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.

Some “hard things” are actually “easy things” rebranded as impossible.

A few years ago, a couple came to me with a great idea to start an off-campus ministry for college students and young adults. They were passionate about their calling, and I couldn’t help but be caught up in their enthusiasm about reaching the generation no one else seemed to be bringing into the life of the church.

As we talked over coffee, they painted the picture of what they imagined a group like this could look like. Clearly, they’d worked hard to cultivate the picture in great detail. They had a unique approach to large-group meetings and expressed concern that most young adult ministries settled for fifteen people or less. They were abundantly clear about the ways they wanted to engage young adults. I was impressed that they’d done their homework and knew what they were talking about.

The couple had a solid missional mindset and got it when it came to the intense relational needs of young adults. They’d already completed the necessary legal work to establish themselves as a nonprofit with an accompanying bank account. They had a name for this ministry and a vision for engaging hundreds, maybe even thousands, with their unique approach.

“How can I help?” I asked. They were seeking advice and, as I later learned, a space (one of our sites had a facility near campus with great meeting areas). In response, I shared some basic principles of this book.

The longer I talked, the more their faces fell. I described the year they’d need to prepare the soil for their launch and the infrastructure they’d need to build to support their dream. As I soon learned, this wasn’t the kind of advice they were looking for.

They were ready to start today, and no one was going to stop them, least of all me.

Realizing I was losing them fast, I stopped and said, “There’s a lot more we could talk about, but let’s stop right there. Was any of that helpful?” They graciously affirmed my advice, hurriedly gathered their belongings, and headed out for their next meeting, promising to circle back in the near future. I never heard from them again.

They launched the ministry four weeks later, and I kept up with their social media posts and heard updates through mutual friends. After a year or so, participation in their weekly meetings settled at an average of around fifteen (with a high of twenty-five and a low of seven), almost all of them were already involved in their own churches.

When we finally reconnected, they said, “We love making such deep impact, transforming a few lives at a time.”

Let me be clear: building a ministry to a group of seven to twenty-five young adults is nothing to be disappointed about. In fact, a group this size is an effective way to engage young adults. What this couple was achieving was important and valuable.

On the flip side, this couple had launched their ministry (and raised their funds) with a vision and expectation of reaching exponentially more. Pretending that a small-and-deep ministry was their original mission, they had reshaped the dream around the reality of the results that came through their hurry-to-launch approach.

So how did they fall so far short of their original dream?

I don’t believe it was because they were bad leaders. They are great people who love God and ministry. I don’t think it was because they weren’t called; it seemed clear that God had a calling in their lives. I don’t believe they had a bad idea. I think they had a unique approach with the potential to reach countless young adults disenfranchised from the church.

They had all the components, all the pieces needed to make this thing work, except for two very important things:

The Dance Floor

In his book Sustainable Youth Ministry, my coauthor, Mark, introduces a systems approach to ministry with a metaphor I find myself using frequently:

Years of preparation had made her movements effortless, her turns seamless, her leaps weightless. A dancer of unparalleled talent, she mesmerized the crowd with her skill but even more with her passion. Her countenance proclaimed in no uncertain terms that she was made for this moment.

But she would finish much sooner than anyone expected. Coming down from an arching leap, she landed with a jolting crack, her foot driving its way through the rotting wood of the floor, her body twisted in pain. . . . She was pulled from the stage, wondering if she would ever dance again.

The master of ceremonies dismissively apologized, “Inexperience does this to a dancer.”

But no one came to repair the floor.

And then, as if nothing had happened, the next performer was introduced. The crowd responded with smattered applause. But with no one attending to the dance floor, the audience knew that the new dancer would also find her performance ending prematurely with a disappointing, perhaps tragic, conclusion.

“Attending to the dance floor” may be the most neglected task in [young adult] ministry. When the dance floor is not in place, talent is not enough. The right preparation is not enough. Not even passion and enthusiasm can prevent the inevitable dissatisfaction and disaster.

This chapter introduces a “systems approach” to building a thriving young adult ministry. Throughout the rest of the book, I’ll teach you the essential steps of building a solid dance floor for the work you’re being called to do.

Biology Lesson

A system is simply a set of components and processes for getting something done. It includes a repetitive set of steps that connect each step to the whole in a way that produces a predictable result again and again.

All churches and all ministries have systems or ways things get done. Some have been intentionally built. Most have evolved over time, much like a meandering stream.

The tens of thousands of churches across America struggling with young adult ministry seldom actually have a young adult problem. They have a systems problem. Too many churches have unexamined systems in place that actually repel and predictably disengage young adults.

The church, like the human body, of course, isn’t a single system. It’s a system of systems. The body has the circulatory system, the digestive system, the respiratory system, the cardiovascular system, the nervous system. Depending on how you count them, the body has about twelve to fourteen different systems, all designed to work together so seamlessly that we hardly ever think about them. Systems in the church work (or don’t) the same way.

To stretch the metaphor one step further, most young adult ministries get a nice femur, a lung, some veins, a large intestine, with skin thrown in for good measure. All these parts get together and wonder why in the world their body isn’t working so well.

Many churches unintentionally assume that with just a few quality pieces they’ll have a healthy congregation. Few ideas could be further from the truth, but those ideas are especially common in young adult ministry.

But This Is So Boring

When some friends built a new home near our neighborhood, we checked in with them every week or so about the progress. And because I drove by the building site every day on the way to work, I saw it regularly.

I remember our friends’ early reports about the project, filled with excitement and anticipation. They were meeting with the architect, drawing up plans, working with the bank on the loan, going back and forth trying to nail down exactly what their dream house would look like. They’d walk the empty lot dreaming of the end result. They’d come “home” at different times of day to catch a glimpse of what their view would look like out the bedroom at sunrise, at midafternoon, at sunset. They had a friend take pictures of themselves digging the first shovelful of dirt for their home.

But after the digging started, the enthusiasm definitely started to wane. For weeks I’d drive by and see that almost nothing had changed. My friends began referring to their dream home as “the giant hole in the ground that we own.”

In the meantime, the builders were spending their time grading the property, digging the hole just right, pouring and laying the layers of the foundation and basement. My friends checked in at the site regularly and always left a little sad. I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard them say, “It doesn’t look much different from the last time we were here.”

After weeks of this disappointing building journey, the walls started to go up and we began to see the outline of a home. Our friends could now walk through and imagine where the closets and bedrooms would go. We shared their excitement as they enthusiastically walked us through their framed house, announcing in painstaking detail where each closet and fixture would be.

Just when they thought they were actually moving the project forward, progress would slow again. The electrical wires had to be run through the house, new plumbing had to be added everywhere, and heating and cooling ducts had to be put in place. And once again, my friends wondered if any real progress was being made.

Building a young adult ministry—building it right, at least—will, at times, be boring, tedious, and disheartening. It’s easy to grow impatient and want to take shortcuts.

Sadly, most churches would rather throw up some walls, tack on some siding, and call it good. They spend their time doing “the real work of ministry,” in Bible study after Bible study, in coffee shop after coffee shop, and wonder why they’re making so little difference. It’s no surprise so many give up altogether.

Naming the Systems of Young Adult Ministry

Rather than dreaming up a catchy name or logo or coming up with the next great program idea, the church that wants to build a sustainable young adult ministry will start by knowing the essential systems a healthy, long-term ministry requires. Once those systems are in place and you’ve determined how to implement each one and in what order, then (and only then) are you ready to start leading the ministry you’re building.

To make this topic more concrete, here are fifteen essential systems to put in place as you build a young adult ministry:

Yes, that’s a lot of systems. And each system has many component parts.

But remember the human body. The skeletal system alone is made up of 206 different bones. And the muscular system has a whopping 600 different muscles.

Each ministry system has multiple component parts, all necessary to create sustainable ministry.

Lessons from Delta

In my experience, young adult ministries almost never fail because of the failure of a single component or two (e.g., “If we just had a great young adult leader,” “If we just had a better worship experience,” etc.). Almost always, failure predictably comes because of a fundamental lack of the systems required to ensure a thriving, sustainable ministry.

The fragmented, program-based approach almost never works. A systems approach, on the other hand, starts with the assumption that the ministry requires many interlocking pieces to work together.

So before you totally glaze over, assuming that systems work is about the least-exciting work you can imagine, I want to present a picture from the other side of the system.

My friend Andrea loves Delta Airlines. As someone who flies hundreds of thousands of miles a year, she long ago blasted past the platinum and diamond levels, all the way to the adamantium level. I sometimes wonder if she’s accumulated enough miles to purchase the entire company!

At one point, Andrea had a family emergency. “I had to get my grandkids to my house right away,” she says, “but there were many states and many thousands of miles between us.”

So she called the Delta customer-service hotline—made for million-milers like her—explained her crisis, and asked for their help. Four hours later, her grandkids were at her door. Free of charge.

Aside from marveling at the out-of-this-world customer service Andrea experienced, I wondered, What made this miracle happen?

It didn’t take me long to come up with the answer: systems.

Delta has a rewards program that Andrea has been part of for decades. The company knows her, knows her regular travel, knows the loyalty she’s shown them over the years. Delta has a well-oiled database system to give them access to all the information they need at a moment’s glance. Delta has a scheduling system that easily finds the closest airports with available seats. Even their customer-care system allowed Andrea to call right in and address an issue with someone who was empowered to make decisions on the spot.

Systems affect families. Systems affect people. Systems make a huge difference in the kind of impact any ministry can have. And so, though systems might feel like boring or even nonessential work, I’m guessing Andrea and her grandkids think otherwise.

You might have a dream to affect just one young adult. If that’s your dream, I wish there were more of you in this world, but you don’t need this book. You can start a relationship and follow where that trail leads by showing up consistently.

But if you are called to partner with others in your congregation or community to reach the largest, most unchurched generation in America’s history, you’ll need to build a system that reaches twice or even three times the amount of young adults you think you’ll reach personally. Only then, once the systems are working in concert, will we be able to do more than focus on one person at a time. We’ll be able to repeat the process of reaching young adults again and again.

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