16. Where should I look for God? (continued)
16. Where should I look for God?
Augustine points us to our interior, to our "hermitage within where no man can see,"45 where we are alone with God.
"It is difficult to find Christ in a crowd. Your mind needs a certain solitude, for it is only by this type of contemplative solitude that God is seen. A crowd has noise, yet this seeing requires secrecy ... Do not seek Christ in a crowd: He is not like one from among the crowd, for he excels every crowd."46
"There is One who hears your prayer, therefore, do not hesitate to pray; for he who hears dwells within. You needn't turn your eyes toward the mountain, nor raise your face toward the stars or the sun or the moon. Nor must you believe yourself to be heard [better] because you pray near the sea. Rather, despise those prayers.
"But purify the chamber of your heart. Regardless of where you are, there pray, for he who dwells within - in that secret place which the psalmist calls the bosom - hears you ... Our Lord God is here, the Word of God, the Word made flesh, the Son of the Father, the Son of God, the Son of Man; the lofty One who makes us, the humble one who makes us anew, walking among men, bearing the human, concealing the divine."47
17. But isn't this "going into ourselves" thing narcissistic?
More than introversion, prayer is transcendence of oneself. St. Augustine says this beautifully in the following text:
"Do not wander outside of yourself, but return into yourself, for within the interior man dwells the truth. And when you have discovered that you, too, are mutable, transcend yourself. You transcend a reasoning soul. Therefore, gravitate toward that place where your reason is illuminated."" "Christ dwells in the interior man."49
Augustine goes on to say, "You were in front of me; but I had gone far away from myself, yet did not find myself - much less did I find you."50 God, "the eternal internal,"" who is "the most secret and most present"52 induces man to seek after him. The sense of God's absence is where he starts. Man seeks him because he is absent, but knows him and finds him because he is present. "Where were you then for me, and how far away? And I was a wanderer far away from you ... But you were more internal than what was intimate in me, and higher than what was highest in me."53 "You were with me, and I was not with you."54
In other words, St. Augustine suggests the polar opposite of narcissism. Prayer is entrance into a relationship that elevates it to "where (divine) light illumines the soul."55 The light is Christ, for "Christ dwells in the interior man."56 Christ elevates the soul of the person in whom he dwells, so as to make communion and dialog possible. Rather than introverted narcissism, Christ liberates us through grace and prayer, all made possible by his loving presence in our souls.
18. In other words, prayer is not an extra, but is a part of the fulfillment of our nature?
Exactly. This was Augustine's own experience. His famous line, "You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you,"57 sums it up. We can fully understand ourselves only in the context of our relationship with God. Man's capacity to have a relationship with God in this life through prayer points to man's ultimate destiny - to enjoy God through the direct vision of him in heaven. Man is "is the image of the one whom he is capable of enjoying, and whose partner he can become."" In other words, man "has been created in such an excellent state that even although it is itself mutable, it reaches happiness by cleaving to the unchangeable good; that is, to God. Nor can it satisfy its need unless it is totally happy; and only God suffices to satisfy it."59
This also helps to respond to the question of man's interiority as an opportunity to encounter God, and not an exercise in spiritual narcissism. Thus Augustine counsels, "Go back into yourself; the truth dwells in the inner man; and if you discover that your nature is mutable, transcend yourself also.""
19. Does that mean my inclination to pray is part of my nature? That I've come prepackaged for an encounter with God?
Yes. That's how God woos the soul. He has made you for himself, capax Dei,61 or capable of entering into a relationship with him. If he has made you capable of that relationship, it is because he wants to have an intimate relationship with you. "He, therefore, who makes it possible for even such as the rich to enter the kingdom of heaven, has instilled in you such pious concern to the point that you deem it necessary to ask my advice on how you should pray. While on earth, he brought rich Zacchaeus into the kingdom of heaven. And being glorified in his resurrection and ascension, he brought many rich men to hold this present world in disdain, and thus truly enriching them by granting them the Holy Spirit and thereby extinguishing all longing for wealth. Otherwise, how could you have such desire for prayer if your hope were not placed in him? And how could you trust in Him if your trust were placed in those unstable riches, all the while ignoring the apostle's saving counsel: Tell the rich in the present age not to be proud and not to rely on so uncertain a thing as wealth but rather on God, who richly provides us with all things for our enjoyment. Tell them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous, ready to share, thus accumulating as treasure a good foundation for the future, so as to win the life that is true life. (1 Tim. 6:17-19)."62